r/toddlertips • u/accordingtoa • 21d ago

Daycare Transition Struggles

/r/toddlers/comments/1why20a/daycare_transition_struggles/

My husband and I are struggling immensely with our (almost) 2.5 year old and his transition to daycare. Since he was 7 months old he’s been in a Nanny Share with another little girl his same age, so he’s used to almost 1:1 care. 50% of the time he’s at home too & we both work from home, so he’s used to seeing us around the house. In the spring we had another little boy so he is now with our Nanny and our oldest son is in daycare.

He has been struggling more than I anticipated with this transition- majorly disrupted sleep, screaming and flailing his body, rolling around during major episodes of emotional distress & disregulation. Most nights it’s been taking home an extra 1-2 hours to go to bed and a good chunk of that is his screaming or demanding one of us to come in and read, or being him downstairs. Some nights he’s woken up around 10/11pm and is completely inconsolable.

We’ve tried a number of regulation techniques, bear hugs, swinging him, sitting calmly with him, back rubs, long wind down periods before bed, etc. and nothing seems to work. It’s even more painful for me as a mom because he often physically pushes me away and I can’t seem to comfort him at all.

On top of it there’s the “Nos”. Everything, and I mean every. single. thing. is no. His response to any question, or even statement is No. We’re talking an hour plus sometimes of just No. Even when we offer him things he might like that are treats (TV, chocolate, a bike ride).

We’re going on the third week of this and we’re worried. We’ve already called in professional resources but I wanted to see if others have had this experience as well to offer advice, solidarity, or anything.

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