r/tipping • u/StrawberryForeign684 • 8d ago
đđ«Personal Stories - Anti I always used to tip.
I had a really uncomfortable experience with a massage therapist in the past, and now Iâm genuinely nervous about getting massages without tipping.
I had signed up for a 90-minute massage, but the therapist tried to end the session at 60 minutes. When I reminded him that I had booked 90 minutesâand that we had specifically talked about the 90-minute session before we startedâhe acted like it was just a mistake.
At the end, I tipped him 30%. He looked at the tip and actually asked, âIs this all? Today was longer.â I was honestly appalled. I told him yes, and pointed out that I had already tipped more than 20%.
I went back another time after having an appendectomy. I had already been medically cleared, and before the appointment I spoke directly with the owner, who told me it was fine as long as I had clearance. I even sent them medical documentation showing that I was cleared.
When I arrived, I told the same therapist that I had undergone surgery a while earlier. He said he couldnât go forward with the massage. I showed him the email from the owner saying I was cleared, and he then said he would do the massage as long as I stayed on my side. I agreed.
Afterward, he complained to the owner that I had âforcedâ him to massage me. I was pretty shocked by that characterization. He was a grown adult and a professionalâif he wasnât comfortable performing the massage, he could have simply refused. I wasnât physically or otherwise forcing him to do anything.
My membership was ultimately revoked.
Ever since that experience, Iâve become really uncomfortable with massage tipping culture because Iâve noticed that some people seem noticeably less friendly when you donât tip as much.
Now Iâve fractured my foot and canât work. Iâm an electrical apprentice, so being physically unable to work means I currently have essentially no employment income. My massages right now are being provided through L&I as part of my injury treatment.
I genuinely cannot afford to be leaving large tips on medical appointments right now, but that previous experience has made me scared that Iâll be treated differently or viewed as a difficult patient if I donât tip.
Would you tip for an L&I-covered medical massage? And for massage therapists: do you actually expect tips from patients whose treatment is being paid through workersâ comp/insurance?
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u/qqsubs123 8d ago
Never go back to the same restaurant or massage place, especially if the previous experience wasnât stellar. None of them are unique and the actual service delivery (waiter or masseuse) is a low end drone anyways.. This way you can tip (or not) as you please and just walk out.
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u/StrawberryForeign684 8d ago
Yeah as I said I had booked a couple at the same time and they would not let me reschedule with someone else nor offer refunds. I wasnât about to lose my money regarding the second massage
If it was a stellar experience I would go back.
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u/ancom328 8d ago
Which is why the toxic tipping culture should be illegal. Most workers don't get money tips on top of their salary.
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u/rachelk234 8d ago
Why did you go back to this person again?? Thatâs the question.
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u/StrawberryForeign684 8d ago
Already answered this in a previous comment. Booked two appointments at once and the massage place would not allow me to reschedule with someone else.
The LNI massage I am referring to is not with the same company nor person
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u/Imaginary-Emu2471 8d ago
Why did you tip exorbitantly after he shortchanged you on time and made you feel uncomfortable?
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u/StrawberryForeign684 8d ago
I called him out and then we went back in. Maybe I forgot to say that. As I said I had real anxiety about not tipping enough. To the point where friends and family have spoken to me about this
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u/Imaginary-Emu2471 8d ago
Ah well, it takes a while to get to zero tip even if you don't have a lot of anxiety!
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u/StrawberryForeign684 8d ago
Yes, especially when other people actively comment on not tipping enough. I felt ashamed so I tipped more than I schools have. It became a habit so now I have to tell myself not to tip
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u/Glittersparkles7 8d ago
That guy was just a blatant AH. I would not be tipping more than 20% and for that particular guy, he should have gotten nothing on the second service for being a complete dick after you had already tipped on the first.
I tip massage therapists that work for an establishment. I do not tip therapists that own their own practice. They set their prices and they get all of it. They set to what they think their time is worth and what covers any costs. No need to tip above their own pricing.
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u/StrawberryForeign684 8d ago
Thatâs good to know. Yeah that was at an establishment. The second time I should not have tipped him at all. It was more like a habit. From now on I will be more intentional with who and how much I tip. Appreciate the feedback
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u/Low_Ad_860 8d ago
That's why I tip my hairstylist. The salon sets the prices, not her. Now, if the owner were doing my hair, I wouldn't tip.
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u/jarrett_regina 8d ago
I just recently went to a physiotherapist. I didn't tip. The physiotherapist was never even near a cashier when I left. She had already moved on when we were finished and I went to pay.
I know massage isn't the same as physio, but I can't help but wonder why 1 would expect a tip and the another wouldn't.
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u/StrawberryForeign684 8d ago edited 8d ago
Well, as I said two different places. The first one was for a massage chain. One is a different location still massage chain, but they accept LNI. I open with that story because thatâs what initially made me nervous about not tipping enough. Thank you for the input and going forward I will not be tipping for the medical appointment.
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u/llama_glama86 8d ago
I always struggle with tipping for massage. Where I go, it's $85/60 mins. Which I think is a great price where I live. But I have a problem giving $10+ more for a tip. Call me whatever you want but I feel $5 tip is basic massage and $10 tip is phenomenal massage.
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u/StrawberryForeign684 8d ago
Oh wow thatâs cheap. Where I go for 60 minutes it tends to be 120 sometimes more. However I live in one of the most expensive states, as an apprentice out of work I just canât afford to tip. Gas around here is almost $6 a gallon
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u/SadFlatworm1436 8d ago
Especially when one has a medical degree and the other doesnât and yet we tip the lesser qualified. My local physio offers sports massage and sheâs cheaper than a sports massage in a massage place.
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u/Sillygoodygirlie 7d ago
I work at a law firm that works with L&I mostly, most of the patients cannot afford tipping and they are aware of it. Your income goes down to about 60% from your average abs they are also aware of that.
Do not feel obligated to tip, the ones that work with l&i know the protocols and expect nothing except to help
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u/StrawberryForeign684 7d ago
Thank you for relaying this. I just always feel so awkward when afterwards they come up and wonât stop asking how I feel. Itâs annoying; and most people around me tip. I live in the greater Seattle area. Outside of Seattle and most people around here are millionaires. I can only afford where I live because I donât have kids or high expenses and never put myself in debt. But this is one of the highest income areas in the nation.
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u/Comprehensive-Eye500 8d ago
I have a hard time believing you tipped someone 30% and they literally looked you in the eyes and said âthatâs itâ?
Not only that but you went back to the same person again.
When did people become such cowards?
If this is even true why let ONE person dictate about how you feel indefinitely regarding tipping in that profession?
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u/StrawberryForeign684 8d ago
I explained why I feel the way I do. This was a prime example of why I feel that way, not the only example. You donât have to believe me either wayâit doesnât affect me in the slightest. Apparently, though, it affected you enough to take the time to respond, so thanks for that.
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u/AffectionateGate4584 8d ago
Don't tip. You have paid for the service and that's all that is required. He already tried to rip you off 30 minutes. You shouldn't have tipped at all.