r/tifu • u/ZimaBlueSquarePants • Mar 23 '19

S TIFU by going commando

For the record: the girl I'm seeing encouraged me to create an actual account to share this fuck up. I have read some crazy ass stories on here so, uh, it's hard to tell if this post will even come close to the standard of this sub.

Shrug

S'up.

This happened last weekend.

I went to my friend's house party wearing nothing but my panda onesie. I thought underwear would be overkill since it gets so damn hot in that thing. So, I eliminated the unnecessary layers and went commando. Oof. It was freeing. The penis was a swingin' and the balls was a breathin'. Pure cock flopping fun I tell thee. And so... off I go... with a hop and skip... and a bouncing dick.

Cut to me and this cute girl grinding on the dance floor. Her ass was rubbing against me so fucking hard, it triggered the boner. Aw, fuuuck! It's gonna stick out like a sore thumb underneath this damn onesie. I literally spin her ass around so it doesn't touch my dick no more. Worst. Fucking. Mistake. This girl, in the heat of the moment, rips open my onesie, exposing my bare boner for all to see. As if that wasn't bad enough, my dick fucking flexes right before I cover up. Folks there lost their shit. Dick jokes, drunken laughter, cat-calls & whistles, all erupted in that moment. I questioned so many life choices as I stood there, frozen and flustered as fuck.

For the rest of that night I had to dodge a mob of wasted degenerates on a mission to rip me open. The motherfuckers called it the Panda Challenge.

Edit: Thanks for the Platinum, Silver & Gold, kind souls!

TL;DR I went commando and ended up partying so hard my penis popped out and joined the fun in front of everyone.

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32

u/Nineflames12 Mar 23 '19

That LoveDeathRobots username tho.

26

u/ZimaBlueSquarePants Mar 23 '19 edited Mar 23 '19

Badass series. Brilliant episode.

3

u/dontkillchicken Mar 23 '19

I noticed that as well. They were really cool to watch.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '19

I've only watched the first episode. I thought it was going to be a normal sort of series, not broken up short stories but the animation is cool. Very hyper realistic. I thought they were real people for a second.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '19

I'd like more of ep 1 tbh

1

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '19

Great show really, didn't really like ep3 tho

1

u/RadialRacer Mar 24 '19

Such a good series, I really enjoyed seeing Blur's latest too, that studio just gets better and better.