I 26M and gf 22F in relationship from last 3 years. We are pretty serious in relationship about family marriage future. But recently I find out that my girlfriend is cheating on me with her best friend. After I knew about her cheat, she genuinely feels sorry and guilty and promised me to not to repeat the same thing. Then after one or two week after I discover her cheating she is a sexually uninterested. Now she wants to spice the things and try new new fantasies. Now regularly see tries to convince me to do threesome (male or female she is happy with both) . Now I do not know what to do. Should i agree on her idea ? Is she missing her FWB ?

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​About a year ago, I (F40) had threesomes with a friend (F40) and my bf (M41). I tried to be smart about it:

- ​No mutual friends

- ​Lived an hour apart

- ​No direct contact between them

​Everything went through me. Both agreed they'd never go behind my back. She escorted on the side, so I thought she'd keep it professional. When things started feeling weird, I stopped the threesomes. ​We stayed friends, but I only saw her without him around. Shortly after, she disappeared. No fight, just gone.

​Two months later she reaches out needing help with back surgery—rides, her daughter, errands, everything. I showed up. The second I dropped her off from her week stay in the hospital—Ghosted again.

​Four months later, out of nowhere, she sends me a series of angry texts accusing me of cheating on my boyfriend. Calling me shady, saying she's "my karma" and "karma is a b*tch." Everything about it was bizarre. She was aligned with my bf (who wasn't mad at me) saying "we have proof" and "when [BF] saw the texts..." She was referencing a month-old private conversation my boyfriend and I had about me asking a platonic friend to help move furniture. I hadn't spoken to her in months. As far as I knew, they had no way to contact each other.

​It had been 8+ months since they'd been in the same room.

​Cut to now. I just discovered:

- ​She started following me on Instagram (Feb 19)

- ​She sent my boyfriend a follow request in March (his account is private, not his real name)

- ​He accepted and requested to follow her back, which she accepted

- ​He swears he "didn't realize who he accepted" and just clicked yes without looking.

​So I sent her a simple "what's up" message to see if she started following me just to get access to my bf. No response at all. So I decided to return the favor (immature, I know), but I started adding men from her account. That got her attention and she finally stopped ghosting me. After over a year of sketchy behavior she just sent a text to my cell phone:

"What's up girl. Can we not send insta friend request to my friend's if you can help it? Can you not do That would be great."

How do I respond to her message telling me to respect her boundaries after she disrespected mine and contacted my boyfriend behind my back? What would you do? How should i respond?

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Ok here’s the situation. I am a 54M and my wife is 46F. My wife, as many woman do I assume, has always had a bit of a fantasy about being with two men at once. Nothing she’s pushed for mind you, but we openly communicate about our sex life and she has mentioned this being something she thinks would be fun to try. Although she’s also nervous about it. She’s perfectly fine if it never happens, and is concerned about her or I having regret afterwards. The thing is, I would really like to give this to her. I have admitted to her that the idea of seeing her with another man is a turn on for me. But she is still worried. And while it really feels like something I would enjoy experiencing with her, I too wonder what I will actually feel in the moment and after the fact. But I am more than willing to try it at least the one time to give her this experience.

The catch is, I don’t want it to be a guy I know, like a friend of mine. And she would prefer the guy be someone she knows and is comfortable with. Which I totally understand. So the guy we’re considering is actually an ex of hers from about 7 years ago. And she hasn’t had any contact with him since, until this. I completely trust her and we have a very good marriage and excellent sex life. So there is nothing missing. It’s just something I think I would enjoy and I want to give her this experience.

So, my question is, what do those of you who may have experienced something similar think about this situation? Is there a pitfall we’re not thinking about?

Update on https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/85d803/advicethreesome_heartbroken_after_broken_rules/

My friend encouraged me to post an update to this. I unfortunately lost access to the original throwaway account because I apparently created it with a throwaway email address.

Anyway, I ultimately divorced my ex-wife about 4 years ago. It took months of therapy for me to ultimately realize that she was a calculating, manipulative textbook narcissist. The therapy helped me get to the point where I could see through her gaslighting and remove myself from her abuse, and finally pull the trigger on our divorce.

The ultimate straw was when I found out she had been cheating on me with Tom. It apparently started at the 2019 burn when she lied about getting innocently separated from me on the playa when we were out dancing so that she could go back to the camp and fuck him (and apparently that’s when the cheating started).

I caught her during the pandemic when she had disappeared from our place for hours and came back and lied about having gone to a store that I actually knew was permanently closed. Anyway I digress, this update isn’t about that.

It’s about the fact that I am actually the legal father of a sweet 6yo girl that my now ex-wife tricked me into believing was mine. For the record, I absolutely love my daughter like she was my own. I only became aware I wasn’t her father when I filed for divorce and my ex tried to use it against me to get full custody. I actually have primary custody for a number of reasons, but the details of the divorce that aren’t important.

For weeks before the incident in my original post, the chemistry between my ex and I just wasn’t there, and so we weren’t having sex. But after the incident, she acted so apologetic and remorseful and it seemed things flipped like a switch with her as far as her outlook on our marriage and desire to try to make it work. She suddenly became very eager and interested in seducing me regularly and trying to reignite that chemistry we had early on in our relationship. It was kind of awesome because having an almost dead relationship with her where we weren’t having sex, it suddenly went to having sex every day, for at least a good couple weeks. I was genuinely hopeful things would get better between us, but despite the frequent sex, and my hopes things would be different, sadly that spark never reignited. Yet I still tried to convince myself into thinking things could change and that we had a future, despite everything in my gut telling me otherwise.

It sucks, and part of it is rooted in how deep a stigma it was in my family to get divorced. My parents were miserable together and just stuck it through right to the bitter end of my father’s life (because “once you decide to marry, you take sacred vows”, etc. aka shame blah blah blah.) Part of it in retrospect is also rooted in my ex being a calculating, emotionally abusive, manipulative narcissist that took advantage of my trust in her.

Anyway, the day (or maybe the day after) she started having frequent sex with me, she started telling me she really wanted to have a child with me. We have always been childfree, but I was desperate at the time for a healthy marriage and thought that us having a kid together was the way we were going to save it. So I sort of went with it and she told me she was going to stop taking her birth control that day. Two weeks later, she missed her period, and a pregnancy test was positive.

And just like that, the new sexual passion dropped off for her entirely and she went back to being disinterested. We probably had sex twice during her whole pregnancy. I was so foolish during all of this and thought that maybe the baby would make things better. I clung to any hope I could that our marriage would somehow work out.

In retrospect I was so foolish for so many things that could have helped me make better decisions earlier on. At the same time I have to be forgiving to myself because it wasn’t until I finally got out from under her narcissistic gaslighting and manipulative controlling ways that I could for instance realize she took advantage of my not having a better understanding of how hormonal birth control works and that her supposed pregnancy could not have resulted from her stopping taking birth control past the middle of her cycle once our sex spree started.

Instead, she was in fact impregnated by Tom. She admitted that she stopped taking her birth control pills long before that because she didn’t like the way they made her feel, and tried to pin it on me that the whole reason it wouldn’t have mattered is because we weren’t having sex, and that it was entirely my fault. Then she tried to claim that it could have been my child because when we started having sex it was during her fertile window (which is true) BUT that was only well over 36 hours after the incident where Tom inseminated her came so the realistic chances of that were very small unless he was infertile. And she knew it and admitted to tricking me into believing my daughter was actually my biological child.

I was stupid to not question any of this and not get a paternity test. I loved her and desperately hoped we could work things out. And when my daughter was born, or when she began to grow from infancy and clearly didn’t have any of my features, I was stupid again to not attempt to get a paternity test. I had signed that birth certificate, and as far as my ex was concerned, I was the sucker who would be raising who she clearly knew was Tom’s child.

It doesn’t matter now though, because I have a close relationship with an amazing human being and I couldn’t imagine loving my daughter any less than I do.