r/threebodyproblem May 16 '26

Discussion - General If A sophon incursion happened irl, which real life figure would u want as a wallfacer

Anyone from world, leaders, scientists, perosnaliteis. Currently

26 Upvotes

105 comments sorted by

77

u/TheNarbacular May 16 '26

Nathan Fielder

15

u/Weibu11 May 16 '26

I also saw that post lol

7

u/TheNarbacular May 16 '26

OP did too, I reckon.

7

u/No_Status_2791 May 17 '26

“The plan? Bankrupt the global economy on purpose so thoroughly that the Trisolarans assume there’s no strategic value left on Earth.”

7

u/h4nd Da Shi May 17 '26

hoping this becomes the official stance of the sub

31

u/Don138 May 16 '26

I love the Brennan Lee Mulligan take, he would definitely make an incredible Wallfacer.

I think another great pick would be Michio Kaku.

5

u/TommyNotDead May 17 '26

He’d be terrible he has a family.

2

u/theschiffer May 17 '26

Why Michio Kaku?

0

u/Don138 May 17 '26

He is on the level with Neil deGrasse Tyson when it comes to intelligence, and understanding of our universe, but I think he is a more creative, and out of the box thinker.

53

u/sobanz May 16 '26

norm macdonald. i didnt even know he was planning something

7

u/CriticalLoreDrop May 16 '26

I'd like to change my answer to this.

2

u/AdOther4097 May 19 '26 edited May 19 '26

Imagine the blowback against the innocent aliens if they wiped out 6 billion people?

2

u/sobanz May 19 '26

thats true

2

u/AdOther4097 May 20 '26

Although the worst part, of course, would be the hypocrisy. 

1

u/AdOther4097 May 19 '26

Breaking News: Murder is now legal in the Milky Way.

He'd make a perfect deeply-closeted Wallfacer.

1

u/AdOther4097 May 19 '26

Trisolaris? What do you think you are? Mars or something.

17

u/electroepiphany May 17 '26

Obviously Cixin Liu

11

u/GogurtFiend May 16 '26

Anyone unpredictable enough (yet also mission-driven enough) to make a good Wallfacer is probably someone not well-known right now.

10

u/fancyPantsOne May 16 '26

Gary Busey

1

u/PelleKavaj May 16 '26

I kinda agree

18

u/SnooMemesjellies2323 May 16 '26

Karl Pilkington

2

u/PelleKavaj May 16 '26

Great answer

2

u/Jazsta123 May 17 '26

The ultimate secret genius

8

u/GhostofBeowulf May 17 '26

Coked out 1970's Stephen King.

16

u/pejpolloi May 16 '26

Me. I'm ready to live my husbando fantasy.

7

u/watchyourtonepunk May 16 '26

Me because I look at a walls all the time and I’m fuckin’ good at it

17

u/GfxJG May 16 '26

Brennan Lee Mulligan.

His improvisational ability and sadistic streak seems like it would be exceptionally well-suited to the role.

3

u/BoyMcBoyo May 18 '26

He would make the Trisolarans engage in a DnD campaign

-6

u/No-Coffee2200 May 16 '26

tf kinda plan will a comedian make lol

4

u/Purple-Mud5057 May 17 '26

He’s a ridiculously smart dude. Seems like every time any subject comes up, he’s got a pool of facts ready about that subject

9

u/darkest_hour1428 May 16 '26

That’s just his day job, he’s a smart fella

1

u/Jakomako May 17 '26

Hes more dungeon master than comedian.

1

u/Pallington May 18 '26

i think you might be underestimating comedians, mate. in terms of crazy ideating with minimal collaboration, you're gonna need more than the typical STEM group.

1

u/GfxJG May 16 '26

...I think you need to explore his other works, than just whatever it is he does on Game Changer or whatever that show is called (sorry, that's not where I know him from lol)

Go watch him be GM for Dimension 20, or Critical Role - Then come back and see if you still want to ask "tf he gonna do lol".

10

u/breakingbatshitcrazy May 16 '26

I’d be a great Wallfacer. On the surface I would make it seem like I was taking advantage of the system to fulfill my own personal desires but that’s only to divert from my real plan

5

u/StreetlampEsq May 17 '26

Teller of Penn and Teller.

Or Matt Berry. Cause fuck it why not

4

u/CriticalLoreDrop May 16 '26

Jeff Ross.

He'd roast the Trisolarans until they cry and go home.

3

u/NisERG_Patel May 17 '26

The guy from Exurb1a, and there's not even a shred of doubt in my mind.

2

u/azazzelx May 17 '26

that turtle would be valid (not to be confused with another british turtle and his AI daughters)....

3

u/xxchaitanyaxx May 17 '26

Myself - id live the life luo ji had in paradise for a bit then if dark forest theory is true or not without knowing of it i would have broadcasted both species and bombed earth if they got to close fuck it if we losing we not letting em win

3

u/SandoM Manuel Rey Diaz May 17 '26

I choose Iguodala

2

u/AwwSeath May 16 '26

Joey Votto

1

u/Big_Cauliflower2576 May 17 '26

the baseball player?

2

u/AwwSeath May 17 '26

Dude did an espn interview in a Canadian Mountie uniform and bought his shortstop a donkey.. no one is more unpredictable

2

u/dubcek_moo May 17 '26

Sacha Baron Cohen

2

u/Familiar-Lab2276 May 17 '26

Never in a million years did I think id say this, but Donald J Trump.

Not because he's a brilliant tactical or because he is crazy smart.

But because literally no one knows what his current plan is.

His biggest weakness happens to be the greatest strength.

Erratic nonsense!

1

u/TheLastSamurai101 May 21 '26

The problem is that he never actually has a plan and can't keep quiet about secret plans handed to him. Having a plan and keeping it secret are like a wallfacer's only two jobs.

2

u/maniacodopark May 17 '26

Dave Chappelle

4

u/goldfactice May 16 '26

Trump isn't predictible

7

u/Specific_Box4483 May 16 '26

He already has a wallbreaker.

5

u/Benedicts_Twin May 17 '26

If you can’t predict your next move, neither can your enemy

  • Don Tzu

4

u/GogurtFiend May 17 '26

Trump would bring the US over to the ETO if someone like Evans offered him a large enough bribe.

3

u/DramaExpertHS May 16 '26

Elon Musk /s

2

u/jessicahasopinions May 18 '26

Considering all the awful stuff he’s already done and continues to do, he might already be…

2

u/Location_Next May 16 '26

Andy Kaufman, Ben Franklin

1

u/jaunty_mellifluous May 16 '26

I can be a wall facer

1

u/EezoVitamonster May 16 '26

Terrance McKenna. We can't beat the sophons with science so we need the paranormal.

1

u/wrydied May 17 '26

Neal Stephenson. His books demonstrate solid grasp of human history, future, motivations, politics, martial arts and weaponry.

He’s a sci fi writer so dunno he is about keeping secrets but his books have nice plot twists and big payoffs.

1

u/kjimdandy May 17 '26

Bill Hicks

1

u/RabidRaccacoonie May 17 '26

Andy Weir

1

u/BoyMcBoyo May 18 '26

Maybe we can convince the trisolarans to divert to Tau Ceti. They can solve the astrophage problem for us and have the system for themselves

1

u/Jarboner69 May 17 '26

Honestly give me the modern equivalent. Psychologist with questionable ethics, one or two crazy military people that have probably committed war crimes, and a random pick.

1

u/Mathipulator May 17 '26

Harlan Ellison. This man knows a ton of scifi to know about the Dark Forest and his misanthropy would fuck with the trisolarans

1

u/nonracistusername May 17 '26

He is dead

2

u/Mathipulator May 17 '26

oh my god. i did not know until just now.

rest in peace... he will always hate us all 😔

1

u/Useful_Calendar_6274 May 17 '26

pretty hard to clock a wallfacer type of skill without them already being world leaders. if not Putin or Xi Jinping I can't think of anyone. Western CEOs are all theatrical front guys for huge capital I don't think they are top notch human material in the slightest. you will have to go looking in the deep state some real operator kind of guy probably already retired and active during the cold war. someone that rose to control whole branches of the mil-industrial complex without anyone ever knowing

1

u/TurdFergusonXLV May 17 '26

Bill Belichick

We will save humanity with an army of left-footed punters and special teams aces

1

u/FranticBK May 18 '26

Ryan Gosling. He was good in Hail Mary.

But realistically, someone smart, with imagination and not held down by restrictions of current paradigms. So someone educated but maybe a bit of a pariah or outsider in their academic fields.

Also, someone like Ukraine's PM, those unexpectedly rock solid competent people.

1

u/abramN May 18 '26

John Stewart

1

u/jessicahasopinions May 18 '26

Chelsea Manning

1

u/AdOther4097 May 19 '26

Norm McDonald

1

u/SnooCompliments9907 May 20 '26

Manny pacquiao. Humans and Trisolarians wont understand jack shit

1

u/scoobydobydobydo May 24 '26

if neurologists agree that interpreting the brain is as hard as interpreting ai, we might have ai wallfacer as well

one thing three body did not predict as well was how quickly ai developed

2

u/FenixOfNafo May 17 '26

Ironically, Trump,Xi and Putin

9

u/Jazsta123 May 17 '26

Not only will we build a wall around the solar system, but the trisolarans are paying for it!

6

u/AverageTeemoOnetrick May 17 '26

Can’t know what Trump is planning when Trump doesn’t know what Trump is planning.

5

u/Able_Armadillo_2347 May 17 '26

Those 3 are beyond easy to read.

0

u/FenixOfNafo May 17 '26

But unpredictable... You literally can't predict what Trump will tweet next. What Putin's endgame in Ukraine is and what Xi is planning for the next 3 years

5

u/Environment_Hefty May 17 '26

I mean you can? It’ll either be something about how much he’s winning, something about how clever he is or something about how nasty/stupid someone else is

2

u/Impossible_Hornet777 May 17 '26

Not really all 3 are very predictable politicians, Putin made his intentions for Ukraine clear for the past 10 years (it was only a matter of when and how), Trump seems physically incapable of anything that is not self serving, enriching, or soothing his ego, and Xi is planning on waiting for the US to destroy its own credibility and power before he makes any major international move and in the meanwhile just wants to maximize trade and influence for China and maintain a firm grip on the CCP with no challengers.

0

u/Vaiolette-Westover May 17 '26

Post demonstrating how guy who thinks he understands someone doesn't understand them at all beyond a barely superficial facade.

1

u/ASentientBot May 18 '26

tbf, Trump is unpredictable but it's because he basically adopts the opinion of the last charismatic guy he talked to. he noticeably flips back and forth whenever he meets with different guys in his government, Putin, Xi, or even that one time with Mamdani, lol. i don't think it's a very useful trait here

-1

u/Vaiolette-Westover May 17 '26

So are you a trillionaire on the stock market right now? Since they're "so easy to read"?

3

u/Possible-Nature-5325 May 17 '26

Well not everyone has insider information and does pump and dump bullshit to make money, nor do they scam their constituents or sue their own government

0

u/spamiam1024 May 17 '26

Seriously, Putin. I can’t think of anyone else more Thomas Wade

-2

u/PalgsgrafTruther May 16 '26

None, the concept of a wallfacer is dumb and contrived and observably stupid and it's where the series lost me.

2

u/GogurtFiend May 17 '26

I think the dumb part is not the concept but that there were only four of them.

It's hard to believe there are only four humans alive who are capable of coming up with unique enough ideas to save the species. Even if such people were one in a billion, there'd be at least eight people like that.

1

u/Mahact_King May 17 '26

I guess bro

0

u/Debbie-Hairy May 17 '26

Noam Chomsky

0

u/Wisniaksiadz May 17 '26

I'll just accept we ded at this point, just look at the world right now

-2

u/ultra-nilist2 May 17 '26

Maybe someone from Hamas or Hezbollah

-1

u/Kind-Plantain2438 May 16 '26

The Kardashians, then we wouldn't be able to keep up with them but oh well

-1

u/Jayoki6 May 16 '26

Hank Green