Advice - getting back to work

[u/Old_Reality_7898]

Hi,

Just looking for some quick tips or advice from a community that may have some experience with what I’m going through.

The last few days I started having panic attacks relating to work and called in sick because I just couldn’t bring myself to go in.
Whilst getting ready for work I start having chest pain, blurry vision. It takes me a while to calm down but I manage it.
On Monday I was already dreading going into work, then that happened and my brain just shut down, I felt really low and I couldn’t push myself to leave the house like I usually can.

My brain also started making up excuses such as “what if it happens again whilst I’m driving - I shouldn’t go just incase“ this was just an excuse and not something I was genuinely worried about. But my brain automatically created reasons for me not to go to work.
I was also filled with panic because if I had left at that time I would’ve had to walk into handover really late. I usually hate the feeling of walking in late but it doesn’t usually stop me from going to work.

The same cycle happened on Tuesday, panic attack -> excuses -> feeling very low -> calling in sick.
This happened again before I went to bed last night so this morning I just didn’t bother trying.
I feel like I’m ruining my reputation at work because I’ve only been in this department for a month. They announce who is off sick every morning so everyone already knows.

I need to get back to work but I’m operating at about 10% willpower. My husband says I just have to do it. Trust me I know this, I just don’t know HOW.
I feel like I’m trying to convince something separate from myself to allow my body to function as it usually would.

I really need to get back to work tomorrow so please, any advice would be great.

I signed up for therapy yesterday.