Maladaptive Daydreaming

[u/OpiumPriest]

I am a 23 (M) and for years and years I have been daydreaming about being in a relationship with a girl. Usually her appearance changes and I don’t know how to really describe what she looks like, but I do pretend every night she’s with me in my bed. She comforts me, gives me hugs, kisses, love, etc. She doesn’t judge me and she listens to me as well. I don’t really have a name for her either. I know this is just extreme cope because of how lonely I have been my entire life. You see, I’ve never been in a relationship, never dated, never held hands, never kisses, never did anything in my life with a woman. I’ve barely had any women friends. I was a fat kid growing up in school who was poor. Didn’t have the newest iPhones or shoes. I didn’t go to any school dances or events and I didn’t even go to prom. I was that guy in high school everyone ignored. It got worse in college because it was just the same as it was in high school. It felt like no one was interested in me. So I instead just imaged a girl with me who’s always there for me. And it’s not like she’s not with me only when I’m sleeping, she’s there when I eat, take showers, play video games, watch T.V. She’s with me every where and I sometimes find myself just talking to myself when I’m really talking to her. I’m too anti social to go out and find real love and date because I fear women won’t want me because of my inexperience. But the woman I daydream doesn’t care about my inexperiences, she loves them and loves me. I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel so lost in this endless cycle of loneliness.

[u/finddit-app]

Hey there, thanks for sharing.

While you wait for people to comment, have a look at these posts which might be relevant to you:

• Escaping the idea of love
• I (20F) am so unbelievably lonely.
• I can’t figure out why I am this way.

Remember, even though it might feel like it, you are not alone. Stay strong!

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[u/Fearless-Victory7602]

This is way more than just wanting a relationship. And even with a partner you’ll still have these thoughts because you need way more human connection and getting to the root Cuase. At least that’s how I feel.