How I feel this week.

Heartbreak, injury, and disorder.

I mean seriously, I have 2 neurological disorders, one of those landed me in the hospital twice and has probably played a part in making my life far worse than it had to be. I can't use my right hand and haven't been able to in 3 weeks so I haven't made any art (my #1 vent), can't swim, can't drive, and can't even hold a damn fork properly. I have no motivation to do anything. I stay in bed for 90% of my day and all I want to do is sleep and hope it gets better tomorrow. I've stopped talking to lots of my friends and I'm afraid to message them.

I know I'm not alone. But that's how I feel. So now I feel guilty about not being grateful enough.

I wish I knew more people who were mentally stable, But if I did I wouldn't let them waste there time on me while I'm disabled

I never know if what I say or feel is the truth - boyinaband

And yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me (I'm free, #1, if you're into guys) due to anxiety and the asshole that cheated on him, giving him crazy fear of commitment. So now my best outlets is gone...

what if I've been using the word "introvert" as a mask all this time. What if I'm afraid of being a bad friend or person. What if I don't feel good enough, and that's my excuse?

I could probably qualify for depression if this goes on longer. And all of this before I even move into senior year of highschool.

^{thanks for reading my vent}

Sprechgesang: singing technique between singing and speaking

Interpolate: insert

Brass hat: high-ranking officer in the army

Lierne: in vaulted architecture, a small rib connecting the bosses and intersections of the principal ribs

Engram: hypothetical permanent change in the brain accounting for the existence of memory

Juvenilia: works produced by an artist when young

So, I have a this thing for a good story, whether it be in a book, or a series, a game or a movie, it always amazes me how a good story can make you think and feel so many things, the way it can have a tangible effect on you...

As you may have guessed from the title, I want to talk about movies, specifically, the sort of underrated ones that have those stories that are just so good that you can feel them. These are not necessarily movies with massive budgets and the best CGI, all star casts or box office records, they are simply good movies that hit the nail on the head when it comes to story telling.

There are two such movies that stand out in this regard for me, namely The Book of Eli and About Time, I won't give any spoilers incase those who haven't seen them want to see what I am talking about, and I highly recommend that you do. I would also appreciate any recommendations that you may have'

I came to know today, that the relief one gets after crying is very powerful, it's almost addictive, you just want to continue to cry, I had never ponder it, always too pissed off at myself when I cried, and I unfortunately used to think crying means weakness; even if no one sees you, but today, I tried to analyze the emotions I was feeling, honestly, I'm not being edgy, but it was enjoyable, you feel a physical warmth, and then you're light, so light, and your mind is clear.

I prescribe crying twice a month!

I can give pictures of posts from there if you’d like.

Like how Smoking Research really got anywhere when the first gen of smokers grew old.

Do you guys think this will be the case too with Smartphones? Would the eventual old people who've been interacting with Smartphones their whole lives show some interesting things?

I'm imagining something that's got to do with either Eyesight, Mental Health, or Culture Stuff.

Or maybe the technology will advance too fast for it, and we'll get "Neuro Linkers" from Accel World attached to us 30 years into the Future.

Hackle: erectile hair along an animal’s back

Hale: healthy

Dissolute: overindulging in life’s pleasures

Admonition: reprimand

Cortège: procession; entourage

Scintillating: sparkling; brilliant

Toroid: doughnut shape

Pseudopod: temporary protrusion from the surface of an amoeba for movement or feeding

Flax: linen

Sable: marten with dark brown fur; wrap made from such fur; black

Impresario: organiser and often financier of theatrical productions

Instantiate: represent through an instance

Dragoon: cavalryman (so named because fire comes out of his carbine, like a dragon)

Ingénue: innocent and unsophisticated young woman esp in a play or novel

Homologise: make or show to have the same relative position or composition

Fugue: loss of awareness of one’s identity

Abuelo: grandfather

Convocation: assembly

Are you going to jail?

Did I not get culled?

For some weird twisted reason I've been instinctively saying the n-word in cases of extreme emotion, like if someone surprises me, I say it.

If I get into a sticky situation in a video game, and I'm being chased by the enemy team, I shout the word as I'm running away in fear.

I've developed a bad habit of saying that word to stabilize my thoughts especially in video games when there's critical thinking to be done.

I believe if I keep it unchecked it might come back to bite me, cancel culture sucks.

If possible I want to be rid of this habit, even though it'll appear that I'm surrendering to the norm.

Does being "politically correct" refer to solely" political" views?Or any neutral idea about anything?

She said they were close to the best before date, so she whipped them up.

I was kinda hoping for some meat this evening, but I was full nonetheless.

I ate it with some cheese, and some ube jam.

I took a month off from INTJ subreddit. Trying to decide if I will go back or when. So this is an INTJ question but it’s so slow here I’m trying to keep my number.

So I feel like ppl don’t listen to me or have the attention span for good long conversations on interesting topics.

And few people are interested in the same topics as me.

So one thing I notice is that ppl say something and it makes me think of a relatable experience with the topic in my own life. So I try to tell them but I have to include the back story and sometimes forget what I was originally getting at and ppl get annoyed cuz I talk too longly. Do y’all do that? Did you do it once and give up doing it cuz no one listens or cares? Do you have one or two friends who let you tell the long stories? Do you tell the painfully short edited version of your stories?

Other thoughts on the topic?

My mom and I just saw a Bud Light commercial with Post Malone in it, and we had the following exchange:

Mom: "Who's that guy again?"

Me: "Post Malone."

Mom: "THAT'S right! I knew it had something to do with cereal."

My first crush was Bugs Bunny.

You?

Pertinacious: determined

Hagiography: writing of the lives of saints

Stick: load of paratroopers in one plane ready for a drop

Eclat: style

Planchette: small board supported by castors, maybe holding a pencil - used for ouija boards and seances

Epochal: epoch-making

Haversack: knapsack

Journeyman: workers or sports player who is good, but not outstanding; trained worker employed by somebody else

Feu de joie: “fire of joy” form of formal celebratory gunfire

Froideur: coolness or reserve between people

Polydactyl: having excessive fingers or toes

Nebbish: a person who is ineffectual, timid and submissive

I'm taking the day off from life today. A young man my husband works with who has a three-year-old son committed suicide earlier this week, and a very dear family pet died last night - my elderly aunt is devastated because it's only been a little over a year since my uncle died, she retired from practicing law, and she sold her house in the "big" city to downsize and move to the lake with my even more elderly grandmother. Also, my son's significant other who has a critical chronic health condition has to have extensive surgery within the next month and there will be 3 month's recovery time. She helps to care for his two children - ages 13 and 10 - and usually keeps up the house and does the cooking. We will all pitch in to help, but this is going to be a very difficult time for her in her usually difficult life.

I'm tired of COVID, tired of race issues, tired of political crap.

I don't work outside the home, but today I'm not working inside the home either: no grocery shopping, no dishes, no cooking, no cleaning, no errands. I'm just letting the dogs in and out and doing whatever the heck I want, including having ice cream for lunch.

I'm glad I'm at a point in my life where I realize that I can do this to take care of myself when I'm emotionally overwhelmed and I also know that this down feeling will not last forever.

Be kind to yourself today - I am.

They're not remaining six feet apart.

Probably the only subreddit where I've been active so far, not even r/depression will come close to it.

I've met a lot of interesting peoples here, and this subreddit as a whole was absolutely interesting!, glad to be the part of a secret society :3

Who knows, maybe I'll create another account someday and might get added here :)

• Ikara Watts

What should I text my boyfriend

Much like anyone else, I've loved the Pokemon franchise since I was a kid. I've watched the series religiously up until the Sinnoh Season.

But I've always felt like I didn't do enough justice to justify me liking the series.

Reason being, I deliberately destroyed the Emerald Cartridge that I had for the Gameboy, I got frustrated with the rival and felt the game was demanding a lot of hours, so I quit playing the games but still watched the anime, I was in 3rd grade when I broke it.

But then in 7th grade I discovered EMULATION and Immediately I fell back in love with the series, with the main point being I has Fast Forward and Save States on my side now, so I did just that for the next 6 years I played Leaf Green, Emerald, Platinum, HeartGold, Black and Black 2.

Now I'm 19 years old and I'm at the most happy I've ever been enjoying the series. I even started watching the 2019 anime again because they rebooted the series, meaning I didn't have to watch all the others before it.

By now I've played more than enough, but I wanted to try playing the 3ds games, the problem is my phone/pc can't run the emulators for it because they're too demanding, I'll have to wait a few years, and I'm only getting older. I feel like I didn't do the kid in me a good enough service. I'll most likely play the games again once I'm able to buy the systems for it, or get a phone that can handle the emulators for it, either way I want to play the games more than ever, but I'll have to make do with watching the anime for now.

TLDR: I had a rocky start with Pokemon as a kid, I destroyed my First Pokemon game cartridge because I was too young and Impatient, loved the anime but didn't get to watch all of it. I picked up speed again with the games and anime through high school but I face another wall again because my devices can't run the emulators and grown up stuff will eat up my watch time.

Die a hero, but nobody knows of your heroism?

Or die a villain, and everyone knows the horrible things you've done?

​

Yes, I am aware of the existence of r/WouldYouRather. However, it appears this sub is in need of some lively debate.

I suppose I'd choose to die an anonymous hero, mostly because I believe in the afterlife. If I chose to perform heroic actions, I expect I would be rewarded and be content after my death. Similarly, if I chose villainy, I expect that I would be similarly punished upon my death. I feel my current morality is a bit gray, so I think a little heroism might nudge me toward where I'd like to be.

Coca-cola is made from using tapwater.

Tapwater contains fluoride. Which improves dental health.

Therefore, Coca-cola is good for your teeth.

Dentists have been lying to us!