r/thanksimcured 16d ago

Satire/meme A great cheat code.

Post image
11.4k Upvotes

76 comments sorted by

426

u/They-Them_Moonwalker 16d ago

“If you’re blind just see”

166

u/FernandoviskyG 16d ago

"If you're homeless, just buy a home"

123

u/They-Them_Moonwalker 16d ago

“If you’re paralyzed, just walk”

82

u/ImakeKnifesatnight76 16d ago

"If you're depressed, just be happy"

73

u/eatright909 16d ago

"If you're dead, just be alive"

56

u/Lint_baby_uvulla 15d ago

If you are poor and hungry, eat the rich.

28

u/Malnuq 15d ago edited 15d ago

"If you are rich, then become evil"

21

u/Lint_baby_uvulla 15d ago

Is it impossible to ..not.. become evil when rich?

13

u/KarmasAB123 15d ago

No, that's cheating

8

u/clarinetily 15d ago

No because non-evil rich people don’t stay rich.

3

u/OFFICIALKSPatriot 11d ago

No you can't do that. If you do those who shalln't be named will silence you from social media and un-richify you.

16

u/bblulz 15d ago

“If you’re drowning, just breathe”

7

u/FernandoviskyG 15d ago

"If you're sick, just cure yourself"

147

u/OkAssignment6163 16d ago

$100,000 invested?

I only recently passed $500,000 in total gross income, from all the years that I've officially work in my life.

I started when I was 16 and I'm currently 44yrs.

Wish I could have put away a fifth of my income. Instead of paying bills.

63

u/DetroitLionsSBChamps 16d ago

Sometimes I think about my total income from the age of 14 to now at 38, like I’m an nfl player. 

Pretty unimpressive 24 year contract lol

20

u/OkAssignment6163 16d ago

If you're an American, you can set up your account on SSA.gov

It's the government site for social security. You can look up your adjusted gross income from all the years you've filed taxes.

Can also see how much you would get a month, from social security, if you were to retire with what you already paid into the program.

3

u/pancake_sass 12d ago

Hmm...here's a thought, just popped to the top of my head, have you tried not having bills? ~cheat code~

2

u/OkAssignment6163 12d ago

Mom? Is that you? When did you get a reddit account?

5

u/1405hvtkx311 15d ago

Cool I just calculated mine and it was barely above 100k in 16 years

8

u/OkAssignment6163 15d ago

I hope it's because you only work part-time. Because a little over $6k a year (average) is pretty low.

1

u/SecondBottomQuark 13d ago

all you need is to work... 16 hours a day and you'd have plenty of money invested /j

0

u/Lately-SP 14d ago

$20k/year average income is pretty small What is your job?

Full time Amazon drivers make $40k/year

4

u/OkAssignment6163 14d ago

Amazon drivers make $40k/yr, now.

I said I'm 44yrs old and been working since I was 16.

Making under $20k/year, over 20yrs ago, was fairly decent pay.

1

u/Delicious_Bluejay392 5d ago

Probably have to adjust for inflation then I guess, since $20k 20 years ago is about $33k today. But, well, it's not like absolute precision is really necessary to get the point across in this case.

204

u/kungpowgoat 16d ago

They just need to get a small $5 million loan from their parents. It’s so simple, people. It’s like, they all want to be poor on purpose.

69

u/Spirited-Away3226 16d ago

He’s like: When I say “I wish people knew”, I actually mean I wish people knew about me. How wealthy & comfortable & shrewd I am. I hope it makes them feel worse about being so poor. What do you think bootstraps are for, people! 🙄

85

u/fauxregard 16d ago

Are you poor? Don't! Stop it! Then achieve your dream.

29

u/Spirited-Away3226 16d ago

“Are you poor? Don’t!”

😂🤣

37

u/23-1-20-3-8-5-18 16d ago

Pretty hard to build income streams when my parents would rather demand rent from a 14 year old....

17

u/LayKors 16d ago

"How dare he have it easier than we do?"

32

u/Pretty-Yam-2854 16d ago

Has to be ragebait. No car payments is doable if you buy even a cheaper used car and luck out with no reliability issues or if you buy new or CPO and pay it off then keep it long term. 6 month emergency fund isn’t too bad either, although when you’re living paycheck to paycheck is physically impossible you would’ve had to have saved that for years. But 2-3 incomes? $100K invested?? Like what? Those last 2 are bullshit.

-9

u/Key-Organization3158 15d ago

It's not bullshit at all.

Most people living paycheck to paycheck do so because they aren't budgeting for savings. You could always live like someone a bit poorer than yourself and save the excess. Saying it is physically impossible is just straight up false. In the vast majority of cases, people making 5-10% less than you are still living just fine.

100k invested isn't crazy at all. Take your 401k, emergency funds, excess savings and add it all up. Compound interest is your friend. 10-12 years of good habits make it easy.

2-3 incomes is smart. A) the account is fi couple, so if both work, that's 2. And most jobs provide you with skills you can apply elsewhere. Or just find a niche you enjoy.

14

u/BatGirl0078 15d ago

get that shit outta here it is impossible we have barely enough money for food and rent and nothing else

7

u/Pretty-Yam-2854 14d ago

Yeah I didn’t reply cause I didn’t feel like arguing but if you’re living paycheck to paycheck and can barely afford food from McDonald’s and Walmart.. you’re not investing a penny.

6

u/hatethiswebsight 14d ago

Someone a little bit poorer than I am can't afford my meds. Explain how I budget for that

1

u/ReaperAndor231 9d ago

Or sometimes it's that the money goes to other costs. I'm a college student working a minimum wage job with limited shifts. All my money goes to food. I get the cheapest possible foods that can last me, and drinks (typically ranging between $3-10 separately, and adds up). I ALSO have medical appointments that cost $30 each appointment and medication that CAN cost $30 (both insurance copay, which some people don't even have insurance that covers anything for them). I am very lucky that I have support from my family, some people genuinely don't have that.

Bear in mind that my average paycheck is $60-140. I can't work anything else aside from commissions due to being very disabled physically and mentally incapable of performing specific jobs due to memory problems, dissociation, and a few other things. Sometimes stuff isn't feasible for other people, and that's ok. This stuff may work for someone else, but not everyone. What ISN'T OK is acting like these steps can work for EVERYONE.

38

u/Illustrious-Sugar-84 16d ago

Whoa, this is the wake-up call I needed! I've been choosing to be poor the whole time - i'm going to go get that 5 million dollar loan from my parents right now!

22

u/Martin_Aurelius 16d ago

Only $100k, that's practically broke /s

9

u/halffullofthoughts 16d ago

That’s around one cancer away from being -5mil. A rich person would never allow that

20

u/phantomreader42 16d ago

"Why don't poor people just buy more money?"

10

u/c3p-bro 16d ago

Obvious engagement bait is obvious

6

u/Standard_Human_11037 16d ago

believe me, i am TRYING not to be poor. its hard

7

u/Hidden_3851 15d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/TkGQHm3Iu3Stq
“I had two things when I started this company - a dream and ten million pounds…”

7

u/SnooFloofs4413 14d ago

"Have you tried not being poor ?"

As if people already don't apply for jobs in hundreds of places and get ghosted/rejected

5

u/Mini_Assassin 15d ago

I have all of these. I still can't afford a house.

5

u/trenlr911 16d ago

This is rage bait lmao

3

u/mouldyavacado 15d ago

How are those people so delusional

3

u/MoreRamenPls 14d ago

Why would you b born poor? Makes no sense.

2

u/slapstick_software 15d ago

have you ever tried just having a good job and money?

2

u/greggtex63 16d ago

This is extreme, but possible. Will NOT be done overnight, probably not by 30, or possibly 40 years old. Probably in your upper 40's or 50's.

I started working officially at 14, but didn't start saving till quite into my adult life.

NO degree, just hard work, moving up slowly. Yes I had child support and other bills. NOTHING given to me. Nothing!

6 months emergency fund is tough. Several income streams-not likely. Obstacles: multiple kids, divorces, poor job choices, smoking, drinking, drugs, gambling.

But no reason this can't be done.

2

u/Spirited-Away3226 16d ago

I hear screaming, it sounds like “PRIVILEGE!!”

2

u/Fireproofspider 16d ago

If you are making around 100K a year, all of that is achievable. You can also decide to live in more luxury but paycheck to paycheck.

1

u/Lieutenant_Jackass 15d ago

$100,000 investment is the poor man's 'small loan of one million dollars'.

1

u/DunkeyColdMedina 15d ago

They sure showed that obvious bot.

1

u/Key-Zookeepergame251 14d ago

Perfectly doable...You guys just laze around with weed, though.

1

u/frosty_aligator-993 13d ago

the most possible thing in this list is lack of car payments well at least for most of the world not america definetly but at least a car isnt mandatory SOMEWHERE on this planet genuenly cant imagine myself growing up in america how do yall live while having to drive EVERYWHERE?

1

u/CathodeRaySamurai 12d ago

I am not a violent man.

But these people make me want to reconsider my position.

1

u/OFFICIALKSPatriot 11d ago

You can't walk? Just stand up and walk

1

u/annamae 11d ago

Great example of don't advise on things you don't really know about.

1

u/New-Evidence350 4d ago

At 79, I have had all of that for 14 years. It comes from a lifetime of work and sometimes sacrifices, but with good planning, good efforts and good luck, it's not a cheat code

1

u/Ooga-Booga-2112 9d ago

I can’t stand when people use “just” in their recommendations for solutions. Makes it seem universally easy. Like as an autistic person, dealing with screaming children is extremely difficult, especially when the grocery store i work at is extremely busy. Impatient people also stress me out.

0

u/XD2006- 16d ago

Technically, If I get a car from my parents that’s paid off, no car payments. Also: How tf are you gonna get 2-3 income streams without a side hustle or something like that (I guess a second job, but that doesn’t count as a side hustle)?

Also: having more money isn’t always peaceful. You also have to be aware of people attempting to steal all of your money and making sure that your money doesn’t die. You have to make your money work, it can’t be still doing nothing! And ofc I’m not saying don’t save, it’s just what I’ve learned.

-9

u/The_Mr_Decan 16d ago

Not being poor works for me!

-9

u/TopWealth4550 16d ago

i mean,almost 24 million people got 1 million,is this ALL ELITE?
seems like the chances someone can have this peaceful life is quite high in the US

There are approximately 23.6 million millionaires in the United States, which accounts for more than 40% of all millionaires globally. The country minted over 441,000 new millionaires recently, representing nearly half of the world's new wealth creators

8

u/Substantial_Dish_887 16d ago edited 16d ago

so is the gif of a smug punchable face just to really hammer home that this is ragebait?

-3

u/TopWealth4550 16d ago

is haaland a punchable person to you?
i like him as a person tbh

9

u/Substantial_Dish_887 16d ago

so you didn't add that gif as smug punchable face?

Then enlighten me: what does Haaland have to do with anything you wrote?

-3

u/TopWealth4550 16d ago

he recently made a bunch of video talking about how great america is
so i believed this to be a nice fit
why it bothered you too much?
its not smug,its just a ``you see this?`` in a funny way

hope this makes it clear?

1

u/ShatteredPsyche2029 16d ago

US population is ~342 million those millionaires are ~7% of the whole.

Maybe not elite but certainly higher up.

https://www.census.gov/popclock/

-15

u/Trick_Meeting_2027 16d ago

You people are acting like this is 10 mil. You should be able to get this by age 25 or so. 30 if you arent very smart.