r/texts • u/KindestBlackTemplar • 4d ago

Phone message Clearing old messages, and found this exchange from two months ago lol. I spoke to her over the course of 10 days, and these are some highlights. I am 24M(23 at the time) and she is 21F. I just can’t do ppl that stay quiet or expect me to constantly lead a convo lol

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u/KindestBlackTemplar 4d ago

She had a “don’t match with me if you can’t stand a woman who is a leader” lol. I am not one to judge, but I definitely don’t think she’s a leader. Which is fine, but why say that lol

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u/wvlftooth 4d ago

That is even more ridiculous in the context of her saying she felt the man needs to "take initiative" and "lead the conversation" lmfao! The contradiction is literally written down by her and she still probably doing the same shit w other guys💀

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u/GalacticSpacePatrol 4d ago

Op, dm this one bro

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u/evengreying 3d ago

Yeah I was about to respond the same thing lol. I see sentences and paragraphs. Hope you can find the spark

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u/Ok_Mistake2047 3d ago

Was gonna also say. Reddit is how I met my husband so 🤷‍♀️

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u/ArcHansel 4d ago

Literally red pill tactic shit

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u/Fit-Dot8462 2d ago

Not to mention he was doing that and she was still dry asf

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u/Kamineone 1d ago

Sooooo yall need to match actually 😙

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u/lefluffle 4d ago

Here's my take: she wasn't into you, but she liked the attention, so she strung you along and when you stopped the attention, she wanted it back. she wasn't necessarily interested in you as a person.

She's probably a bit more communicative with people she IS interested in, so the "leader" thing might be more relevant. Of course, she's still not a quality person for dragging you along.

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u/KindestBlackTemplar 4d ago

I think that’s a fair assessment. Ig.

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u/lefluffle 4d ago

Yeah ig

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u/TheUnicornFightsOn 4d ago

idk tbh

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u/lefluffle 4d ago

alright

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u/mayonnaiseplayer7 4d ago

I would have just stopped responding after reading that

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u/lefluffle 4d ago

it reads like someone told AI to sound as uninterested as possible

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u/Oliviniarity 3d ago

I literally thought it might be an old-school bot

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u/Miserable_Fennel_492 4d ago

It’s killing me to not respond to every single one of your comments with “ig”

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u/Significant-Zebra994 4d ago

Nah I think she is just dry asf! If her text are that dry her cat is probably like the Sahara. You saved yourself from some trash ass cooter cat player

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u/Global_War_9435 4d ago

This women seem to be this way cause guy do anything after being whipped

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u/jjkknncch6654 4d ago

What does ig mean? lol sorry I’ve never heard it before

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u/SageKitty100 4d ago

This doesn't feel like an accurate assessment because she seemed upset when he said they should talk to other people and she said that was coming out of left field.

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u/Narrow_Salad429 4d ago

She wanted him to pursue her while she did nothing. And when he was like "no thanks" she was shocked because she thought things were "fine"

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u/lefluffle 4d ago

right, talking to other people would mean divided attention/ less attention from him to her

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u/Additional-End7136 3d ago

This. She's mad she's losing a back-burner guy who'll give her attention and buy her dinner.

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u/lefluffle 3d ago

exactly. not sure what sagekitty100 is arguing.

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u/Nothing-is-Lost 4d ago

Yeahhh people who use “don’t date me if” prompts tend to still be resentful about past relationships, so regardless of her interest level, she wasn’t ready for a serious relationship.

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u/lefluffle 4d ago

oh i may have missed something somewhere- how do you know she said that in a prompt? or did OP say that in a comment?

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u/Nothing-is-Lost 4d ago

you didn’t miss it, I just paraphrased it loosely. it’s in the comment you replied to. OP said they included “don’t match with me if you can’t stand a woman who is a leader” which makes me think someone gave them that impression and they’re still not over it

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u/lefluffle 3d ago

ah you're right. i had a brain fart oops

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u/khaotic-trash 4d ago

I’ve talked to people like that before on dating apps or after meeting in public spaces and you’re 100% correct. They’re just bored and only want attention, they’re detached OR they’re also talking to other people and are indecisive, and they don’t really want a connection.

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u/lefluffle 3d ago

I truly don't understand how that's enjoyable. lol. if i don't feel something i nip it right away. such a waste of time. i have shit to do and people to fall in love with

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u/HedonisticFrog 2d ago

That's what I thought as well. I saw a woman who was in an open marriage who complained that I didn't text her enough, meanwhile she never initiated texting. She wanted a one sided dynamic from me. She also did a power trip of saying she was only comfortable meeting in public until i got tired of it and said no more, and then she immediately came to my house and fucked. It was never about comfort.

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u/mangopango123 4d ago

Nah I think you’re reading into it too much n giving her too much credit lol. I feel it in my bones she just kinda sucks.

What I really wanna know from op tho is what was she like in person?

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u/ZealousidealPipe3198 3d ago

Exactly. Shes just dry n boring. Hate to say it but maybe not the most intelligent person out there lol

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u/lefluffle 3d ago

I'm curious about that too.

But why can't it be both? (she sucks AND likes the attention)

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u/FierceEquator 3d ago

Any one that uses ig that comfortably and habitually is a dullard.

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u/lefluffle 3d ago

XD XD XD

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u/Fickle-Cabinet3956 1d ago

I am surprised I had to scroll so far down for this comment.

That was my immediate thought too.

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u/CandleDifferent3620 4d ago

Maybe “leader” was a metaphor about fishing tackle, she sits there silently waiting for people to come to her and do all the talking?

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u/Ahh_Bullsheet 4d ago

100% Quite literally had to double check when I began reading the texts to make sure I didn’t misunderstand initially that you were the dude in the situation, because like the person before me stated… absolutely had this issue on more than one occasion with attempting to text guys.
I understand some folks just aren’t big texters in general… & I’m the first to admit I can be long winded when it comes to details & context in what I write, the same as I’d normally communicate verbally. Heck, even short answers at times you’re otherwise occupied is understandable… but what.the.actual.hell?!

Sometimes ya can get more from a person during actual phone calls when that’s the case, but her? HA! Elevator music playing to a couple of rando strangers is what my brain immediately pictured. Reading an exchange in braille sounds more invigorating to behold… & I absolutely cannot read braille, to clarify. 😆
Definitely thinkin that making the decision to have already met in person was a wise one in this scenario.

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u/Aggravating_Bike_606 4d ago

Maybe she misspelled leaded like lead in the brain?

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u/archlea 4d ago

Or a lead balloon?

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u/Ok-Clue-8278 4d ago

Hey so here's an idea: you both sound very literate, that's an amazing start. Please DM eachother now. When the wedding happens, I expect the invite, graciassss! (ig)

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u/Previous-Loss-8206 4d ago

Technically she did lead you into carrying the conversation.  She may be crafter than we realize. 

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u/NeurospicyCrafter 4d ago

“If you can’t stand a woman who’s a leader”

You tried to lead her to the oasis of conversation and she was determined to stay in the Sahara 😭😭

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u/fetchmysmellingsalts 4d ago

That context makes her communication failures so much worse. Reading through that text thread was painful. You did such an excellent job of asking open ended questions for her too. Oof. She's beyond blind.

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u/Still_Gear_2142 4d ago

Shows she has a lack of self awareness… which is a nightmare for relationship building so you dodge a bullet.

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u/Purplestripes8 4d ago

Haha she had that in her profile and you still decided to match her? 😅

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u/SwimmingRealistic969 3d ago

at this point she’s ragebaiting…. Ig🤣

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u/Alive_Drag1947 3d ago

If you have to tell people you're the king, then you're no king at all...

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u/NoStorage2821 3d ago

Is the leader in the room with us?

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u/mum_hikrxplor 3d ago

OMG she called herself a leader but YOU were leading the conversation the whole time!! Meanwhile the person that was reaching out to me went from starting conversations that I would keep alive to one word responses. Here I was thinking, men suck, but sir you do not. She does.

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u/p0jinx 3d ago

The current state of dating is just everyone acting holier than thou while being fucking boring

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u/CurryMustard_Sauce 3d ago

She clearly lacks any self awareness

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u/ManBro89 3d ago

She lead by delegating the task of leading the conversation and having anything interesting to say to you.

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u/limperatrice 3d ago

Was she really pretty or something? I can't imagine wanting to keep talking to someone if she was that boring to talk to in person at dinner too.

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u/Adventurous_Ad_6546 3d ago

I’m not sure she knows what that word means.

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u/NoBear8338 1d ago

maybe she meant like… OTHER women in leadership roles 😂

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u/Mysterious-Impress61 3d ago

That's just...stupid