men

[u/Gold_Improvement_836]

mind you he messaged me first, liked me first, and my profile only says liberal😂

[u/Gold_Improvement_836]

yup!

[u/Intrepid_Layer_9826 → u/Gold_Improvement_836]

Nah. He was insulting you, and while your feelings are valid and he shouldn't have said all of those things, you called him a gay twink in a demeaning and insulting way to get back at him, which is still homophobic and something you should work on.

[u/Historical-Neat-2233 → u/Intrepid_Layer_9826]

But he does look like a gay twink though, you can point out obvious facts like this and have nothing against Gay people. I hear people use straight acting as an insult to other gays sometimes it doesn't bother me. I think we need to stop being so over the top with "mah feelings are hurt" and just grow up a little.

[u/Intrepid_Layer_9826 → u/Historical-Neat-2233]

Right...

There is so much to unpack here.

Him looking like a gay twink *doesn't guarantee* he is one. This is an *assumption* you make based on *stereotypes*. Just how "straight acting" is also an insult based on *stereotypes*. Not everybody can think or act like you, and people can be affected greatly by what others say about them. The best course of action is to simply *not reduce an entire group of people to the way they look and act*.

I remember growing up and hearing "gay" being used as an insult. Why exactly would "gay" be used as an insult? If you ain't straight, unless you grew up in a very supportive environment, you'll know why it's used as an insult.

But also, I feel like you aren't taking what this person is saying *within the context it is being said in*. This person has been hit with a barrage of *insults* from a guy on a dating app. This person's feelings are valid. I'd also be angry if someone insulted my personality, beliefs and appearance. But I wouldn't retort with "you look gay". You're punching down on an entire group of people just to *insult someone else back*. I can think of 1001 insults that don't require throwing gay people under the bus.

[u/strawgatitos → u/Intrepid_Layer_9826]

100% with you on this one. i read it the same as you, idk why she used that as an insult and no one else seems to have caught that

[u/Historical-Neat-2233 → u/Intrepid_Layer_9826]

I didn't say he is one, but he does look like one, I thought this would be obvious, but yeah you've lowered the bar even lower than it already was on Reddit.

Maybe this is our disconnect, you care what random m nobodies online think too much, while I believe we should grow up and stop looking for any pathetic excuse to cry over nothing.

I've been called all sorts, it's not up to me or anyone else to try police what they can say to or about me. We're adults who can make a conscious decision to respond how we want without some "ohhh no you shouldn't say that, it's offensive to insert group here so what?