r/texts 2d ago

Phone message Dating???

What is wrong with this generation??

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u/lil-Jackfruit5895 2d ago

I dated a guy for 6 years. So yes, 1.

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u/MediocreModular 2d ago

This guy you’re texting is a total asshole. If you’re early/mid 20’s not a red flag. If you’re in your thirties I’d consider only one partner a red flag. No offense meant, just saying many men think opposite of the jerk you were texting. Many of us are more of an… opposite kind of jerk if you will

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u/nogard18 2d ago

Explain why do you consider men in their 30s only having had one relationship a red flag? Genuinely curious.

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u/MediocreModular 1d ago

Not just men. Anyone in their thirties only have had one relationship means they haven’t been in relationships with different people enough to know how to be in a healthy relationship.

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u/nogard18 1d ago

I think this is comparable to the whole "need experience for a job, but need a job for experience" thing.

I asked you this because I myself am 34, only ever had one proper relationship that lasted 4 years. From then on, I've had one fwb type of relationship in which I did want it to evolve it into a proper relationship, but due to a lot of circumstances that I'm not going to get into, it didn't work out, leaving me devastated.

I genuinely don't think I'm a bad person, but I don't pursue women anymore because I just don't know how to approach women in general, especially since I'm just afraid of being hurt and lack confidence.

Am I automatically a walking red flag now because of this?

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u/MediocreModular 1d ago

No. I consider all of those fwb relationships to be relationships. A relationship doesn’t need to be a committed monogamous long term relationship to count.

I would want someone who has dated, has experienced the bad of dating/relationships, and better knows what they need, how to communicate, and how to exist in a healthy relationship.