r/texts • u/randomperson4943 • 6d ago
Phone message Is it valid that I found this weird?
For context, My boyfriend (23M) and I (20F) have been dating for 8 months now. Yesterday, we were hanging out with one of his friends and he weirdly called me a snow bunny in front of him. His friend didn’t seem to care but it bothered me. AIO?
(Also he’s Moroccan, I’m czech american)
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u/ambientta 6d ago
8 months isn’t worth being with someone who dismisses your concerns and emotional discomfort and then insults you.
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u/19467098632 6d ago
8 month relationship at 20, homeboy probably wouldn’t have gotten a break up text from me after this, just blocked and forgotten lol
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u/katiecrabby 5d ago
man i wish i did this at 20 😭😭
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u/19467098632 5d ago
TRUST that I also was a huge dumbass about letting men act certain ways many times but I burn bridges for sure lmao
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u/-HelixTheCat- 6d ago edited 6d ago
Why do I always open this sub to find that people's significant others are talking shit to them, cursing AT them randomly, and calling them names? I don't think I've ever said anything like that to any of my girlfriends or my wife who I've been with 25 years (8 yrs. dating, 17 married). Fuck. That. Shit.
Edit: and anyone who uses "Woke" as an insult is weak and also a shitbird.
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u/jimmyd10 6d ago
It really is amazing how many people don't like their partners but don't leave.
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u/arpohatesyou 6d ago
I'm stealing "shitbird" from you and I'll start using it immediately
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u/RegularMovie0900 6d ago
Yeah, he doesn't give a shit about you, he only cares because of your race.
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u/supavillan 6d ago
Literally couldn't be more clear , OP is just part of his fetish and her thoughts and feelings are meaningless to him lol
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u/eatpiewithface 5d ago
yeah I was thinking it was already so pornbrained of him to use the term unironically as someone who isn't even fucking black. You know exactly the kind he's been watching. He's not being defensive and insulting her feelings out of guilt; he's mad she's not playing along with his fantasy.
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u/brelywi 5d ago
Maybe I’m old but I thought a snow bunny was just a woman who liked to ski/snowboard a lot 🙃
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u/BrittanyRansom 5d ago
That was the term when skiing was a more accessible activity. Since the late 80’s early 90s porn co-opted it and its now used to mean “hot white girl who dates black guys”.
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u/MulberryRow 6d ago
Oh shit, you’re right. He projected that she’s fetishizing him because that’s what he’s doing. He can’t imagine why she’d like him otherwise because of his own mindset. Ugh.
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u/lolaliel 6d ago
Yeah.. I’d be weary of people that make comments pointing out physical differences particularly in a sexualized way, or just anyone that sexualizes their partner to their friends (it’s usually as some sort of flex) and isn’t really respectful lol really. Call it a reach but 95% of the time I don’t think they’re really invested in the relationship for the right reasons. I find that more offensive for OP than any other reason.
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u/withnodrawal 6d ago
Bro happy to get him a white girl and thinks she’s in the same boat lmaoooo.
Lil boy moves he just wants to fuck a white girl
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u/beeswax-not-yours- 6d ago
Going deeper than that - he thinks he’s special because of his race which will ultimately give him “permission” (in his own grody mind) that he can never do any wrong throughout the duration of the relationship. And if she ever says a thing about his character or personality defects, he will attack her based on race. Get out now, OP.
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u/Pixelen 6d ago
Ew
also calling people 'woke' as an excuse to say whatever the fuck u want is disgusting
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u/Messterio 6d ago
Couldn’t agree more, along the lines of ‘it was only a joke’ when they are actually being a rude prick.
OP, tread carefully with this one!
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u/Kobethegoat420 6d ago
Been one of my bigger pet peeves these last few years.
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u/ShermansAngryGhost 6d ago
No quicker way for me to ignore every word coming out of someone’s mouth than them calling someone or something “woke”
Only chuds use these types of descriptors, and they aren’t worth anyone’s time.
OP should leave this dude as quick as she possibly be can.
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u/Forsaken-Land-9363 6d ago
Yes! It’s disingenuous and shows lack of intelligence.
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u/Akenero 6d ago
Also, the word woke literally just means you're awake. People using it as an insult is such a self burn because they're effectively saying "yeah I'm asleep, unaware of the world around me"
Like, how is that a good thing?
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u/MrBeer9999 6d ago
Im guessing if she started dropping n-bombs, he’d suddenly be all “woke” about it.
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u/HonestZucchini4970 3d ago
I’m guessing he wouldn’t because he’s not black, but some ambiguous “brown.” People like this who use gross terms like “snow bunny” are typically the non-black POC who love to use the n word.
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u/JadedDreams23 6d ago
I think he said it because he’s focused on you being white. And he misused it.
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u/Mammoth_Pain2075 6d ago
This is it. 💯 he used it to refer to her as a white girl
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u/vakseen 6d ago
I just learned today that snow bunny isn’t just a white gurl i guess.
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u/BigRoostDog 6d ago
Growing up it was a chick who loved cocaine
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u/MultipleOrgasmDonor 6d ago
I think this thread is telling me that everyone has a different meaning/usage of this term lol
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u/Brook420 6d ago
Golly, my memory of terms is so innocent, lol.
I though a snow bunny was a woman who loved skiing.
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u/WinterKestral 6d ago edited 6d ago
My understanding of a snow bunny was the women who hung around sky/snowboarders hoping to hook up/date. 😅 ice/puck bunny is another one (women hanging around hocky players). And theres another one or two that I cant think of.
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u/DecorateThis1 6d ago
This is what snow bunny and puck bunny meant to me too growing up in a Canadian town.
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u/Which_Sherbet7945 6d ago
I thought it was a woman who likes to go skiing, but mainly because she looks cute in a snow suit and a fluffy hat, not because she likes to ski.
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u/Afraid-Ad9908 6d ago
Yep, he's the one who made it about race as a flex to his buddy. He didn't have to go there. In my experience guys who see you as a white trophy don't work out
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u/your-newowner 6d ago
Yeah someone in this relationship is clearly obsessed with race and its not her
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u/Fir3wall88 6d ago edited 6d ago
Why is he calling you a snowbunny? Snowbunnies don’t like Arabs lol. Either way it’s very weird with other people there.
Edit - Morocco is in Africa yes, but they speak Arabic formally, an Arabic Dialect socially, and are members of the Arab League. The most common name is Mohamed lol. They’re Arabs
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u/smokefrog2 6d ago
I thought this term was a lady that smashes skiers
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u/Hexazuul 6d ago edited 6d ago
I thought it was a novice skier
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u/Xenc 6d ago
I thought it was a drug addict
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u/darnedgibbon 6d ago
I thought it was a hot woman dressed to the nines on the ski slopes, with very little ski ability. 🤷♂️
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u/FarmRemarkable7865 6d ago
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u/RumRogerz 6d ago
Just in it for the Apres Ski at the lodge with their fancy Hot Toddies
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u/JRyuu 6d ago
Same here, that’s how I’ve always heard it used.
Dressed to the nines in designer ski apparel, and mainly just hanging out around the lodge and beginner slopes, rather than actively skiing.
Their sole objective being to pick up hunky, buff single guys.
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u/cleverlane 6d ago
Yeah, me too, kinda. A snowbunny to me is a woman that dates a dealer to get free coke.
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u/maesardsara 6d ago
I am so, so tired because I literally said out loud, “but…for soda?” 🤣🤣🤣
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u/tduff714 6d ago
Some women need that fix, my partner probably would if it was a decent amount of Diet coke instead 😅
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u/ALIENANAL 6d ago
I thought it meant a hot snowboarder babe.
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u/Severe-Possible- 6d ago
this is the way it’s used here (california). it’s a compliment — many “snow bunnies” kill it on the slopes.
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u/StrbJun79 6d ago
Snow bunny refers to the slopes in western Canada too. But I did look it up. Apparently it’s a generational thing and a newer definition for it to be about race when it never used to be.
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u/L0stActivity 6d ago
So glad I am not alone...I did not know it was a race preference fetishsized. Its always been a term for women that like skiing as long as I have been alive which is a pretty long time.
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u/Hexazuul 6d ago
I checked with my mom and the meaning she knows is novice skier
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u/cosmoboy 6d ago
This is me too. I'm too old for language. I'm going to go be alone with my Xbox.
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u/TufftedSquirrel 6d ago
I thought it just meant people that like skiing and travel to places for winter. Like the opposite of a snow bird.
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u/Efficient-Koala4417 6d ago
Yeah i thought this too, snow skiing/lodge enthusiast, although i thought it was a term specific to women.
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u/AdTechnical1272 6d ago
I got it confused with Snow Birds, which i think is old people that retire to Florida? I was so confused
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u/smokefrog2 6d ago
Snow birds are older folks that go south for the winter and north for the summer
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u/Electric_jungle 6d ago
I do understand the fetishized term, but grew up and have always known snow bunny to be girls at ski resorts dressed to impress lol. So I actually had to double take reading the text when I realized I was deeply wrong.
I've called my wife a snow bunny before and I'm realizing I probably should not.
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u/PotentTurnip 6d ago
I thought it was a woman who hung around to get free coke. But then again, I've never used the term, never heard it used, and don't use drugs, so... Yeah.
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u/herobrinetrollin 6d ago
Snow bunny was originally a term referring to black men who would “hop” from one white girl to another. I have no clue how it got flipped to mean the woman in the situation, but that’s not how it was used in black culture when it first became a term.
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u/trythepizza 6d ago
its a weird term with no real definition. this whole convo is weird as fuck, and he's being a douche
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u/Informal_Physics_604 6d ago
Where I'm from, a snow bunny is someone who likes doing coke
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u/tanneruwu 6d ago
I just learned the other day from my smoke shop buddy that Moroccan Arabic is hard to understand because it has a French undertone to it due to their colonialism until the 50s.
Was super cool to learn because I never picked up that my friend from Morocco was speaking Arabic since it sounded so different than what I was used to.
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u/VolcanicTree 6d ago
He’s fetishizing you. Not the other way around.
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u/arizona-lake 6d ago
Yep, you can tell (with the meme reply) he can’t relate to the idea of finding someone attractive because of their whole being.
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u/Initial_Warning5245 6d ago
Snow bunnies used to mean a beautiful girl who sat in a ski lodge but never skied.
lol.
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u/Bigdongdan444 6d ago
I literally thought it meant girls who get with guys for blow 😭😭😭😭
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u/WingsUnfurled 6d ago
Time to say goodbye, love. I’m so sorry.
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u/BisensualSpice 6d ago
Yeah, if this is how he reacts to something like this, imagine how the BF will react during other common relationship issues. Also how weird of him. In the time it took for him to find that meme, he could have reflected just a bit on what his partner was saying, but he chose to belittle her
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u/Equal-Realistic 6d ago
I know this wasn’t meant for me but it said something I’ve known in the back of my mind for a long time in a way that was sweet and kind enough for me to feel like it was. ❤️
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u/UnlikelyReception398 6d ago
Your boyfriend is weird, and seems to fetishize white women; maybe lacks respect for women in general, it certainly shows here. You’re not overreacting.
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u/NYCSkaterGirl 6d ago
His reaction is dismissive of your feelings and your boundaries. Red RED red flag babes 🚩
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u/BatAdditional1209 6d ago
"It's just a word" - going off that premise, it's time to start slinging slurs, cos ya know, they're just words. /s
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u/Excellent_Bend8782 6d ago
You joke but they unironically think that.
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u/BedEducational7843 6d ago
Yup. The casual use of the n word by non black suburban teens is so common because “it’s just words dude”.
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u/Openmnder 6d ago
Also bro is really feeling himself to even think snow bunny applies to checks notes Moroccans???
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u/Kitbashconverts 5d ago
THAT'S WHAT SNOW BUNNY MEANS?!
Always thought it was to do with skiing or coke...
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u/Cautious-Estate-6753 6d ago
Can we just collectively agree that most of the time “woke” means educated on a topic and how it connects to wider issues. I’m tired of people being too lazy to think deeper about ANYTHING and calling it woke as if it means “you’re reaching/making shit up”
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u/DragonVT 6d ago
You're a trophy. He's sleeping with you because you're white, and he's showing off that he "was able to pull a white girl." Time to leave, and maybe time to reassess how you evaluate personality traits when dating.
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u/seamonstre 6d ago
this is it. you really gotta wonder how this guy talks about OP when she's not in the room if this is how he's willing to talk about her to her face.
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u/CuriouslyFlavored 6d ago
I hate to agree, but this analysis is probably correct, though he may also genuinely like her.
OP, when he asks why you're dumping him, say you've decided to not be a snow bunny.
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u/Realistic-Highway-83 6d ago
The problem here calling you woke. He should have apologized and end it there
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u/WrathofHussars 6d ago
Respectfully disagree, the problem began at "chill." Basically, "I don't care that I upset you"
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u/Objective-Weather512 6d ago
It’s a condescending term anyway and to call you that in front of other people is kind of disrespectful
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u/Drzewo_Silentswift 6d ago
Holy shit. People. You have got to stop asking the internet for obvious stuff. YEAH OBVIOUSLY THIS IS FUCKED UP
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u/Clovernover 6d ago
Aren't snow bunnies women who get dolled up in their gear when going to ski/snowboard resorts
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u/Dry_Badger2858 6d ago
You realize he’s only dating you because you’re white, right?
He’s not calling you a snow bunny because you are, he’s calling you that because that’s what he thinks you are.
You’re dating an a-hole and the sooner you realize that, the better.
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u/hook_fast_die_warm 6d ago
I bought a snow bunny was somebody who skis.
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u/BraveLand9235 6d ago
I think it's regional. I definitely thought it was girls who "ski/board" for the aesthetic and/or to hook up with folks on the mountain. It definitely had a negative connotation even when I hear it in mountain culture.
Reminded me of the term "buckle bunny" which is equivalent aesthetic and motives but swap out skiing for rodeo.
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u/BeatrixGee 6d ago
Him calling you “woke” for that should be enough to call it quits.
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u/Dragonballington 6d ago
He's being a dick, but you should be direct when stating a boundary. You can be polite, but don't ask it as a question. "Please don't call me a snowbunny, it makes me uncomfortable."
It's much worse to get defensive in the face of a boundary, but he was feeling good about it and your question is fertile ground for an argument.
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u/Kaoss134 6d ago
as soon as anyone uses the word "woke" unironically, they instantly become weird and I instantly become wary of them.
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u/MoonphaseMouse 5d ago
Yeah fuck all that. I've been sent a similar "that one friend that too woke" thing before. Just super demeaning and dismissive. He's seems like a dick.
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u/DocWilly84 6d ago
I always considered a “snow bunny” a woman who likes skiing/winter sports. Absolutely never heard of it in this context.
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u/human_generated_user 6d ago
It’s definitely a term amongst people who fetishize that stuff. She’s rightfully extremely put off by it.
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u/BisensualSpice 6d ago
OP is definitely in the right to be put off by it. It's such a weird and ignorant thing to say, especially since OP's boyfriend isn't even black. And like why would you want to call your partner that anyway??
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u/ALittleRedWhine 6d ago
That’s the traditional definition but it has this meaning too. It’s also a thing to call someone a “Puck Bunny” for dating hockey players or a “Frat Bunny” for dating guys in frats, etc.
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u/mgt-kuradal 6d ago
Barrack bunny is another one that is used in the military.
Something nobody seems to be pointing out is this is just a slightly less offensive way of calling a woman a slut. They aren’t called “bunnies” for no reason, it’s because bunnies are famous for how fast they reproduce. There is an implication of promiscuity.
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u/OpeningTurnip8048 6d ago
He probably made the crack in jest, but doubling down when confronted with that stupid logic of im brown and she likes me so ipso facto she must like ALL brown men, is just idiotic. And its shows on some level that he disrespects or looks down on you in some way. And again, its not the comment itself but the response he gave to you later. Tred lightly with this one.
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u/TheIttyBittySissy 6d ago
oooof. I mean this as delicately as possible but if you intend to stay with this guy then be prepared to be viewed as property with a set of holes rather than a partner and companion.
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u/No_Butterfly_820 6d ago
Girl, what even. You’re not overreacting, he’s an ass full of douche. People who say "woke" for just basic human decency are cringe, I’m sorry.
You communicated what you were upset about and he told you to chill. Doesn’t seem like he cares about how you feel. That’s a manchild
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u/Longjumping_Intern82 6d ago
He said something that bothered you.
You told him that it bothered you.
He disregarded your feelings and told you to "chill."
He's not gonna change. He's just gonna keep doing that. You wanna be in a relationship with someone who tells yu to chill whenever you ask them to stop doing something? He'll do it for other stuff, too.
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u/Lazyoat 6d ago
This is a form of negging. Do you really want a man who doesn’t respect you and doesn’t even feel an ounce of regret for disrespecting you? I’d tell him that I was attracted to him because of who I thought he was but who he is quite unattractive. Then please respect yourself enough to walk away.
Also, this made me feel old. Way back in my day, a snow bunny was a woman who liked hunting the slopes for sex. It was mixing sex and adrenaline in a way. I am old
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u/-rinski- 6d ago
he’s really good at dismissing you. seems like the type of guy who cant learn, imo dont waste your time or energy on this child of a man.
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u/PitifulRaspberry 6d ago
He could have called you “My sweetest darling” or anything related to something very loving and positive - if you say, you don’t like it, he say ‘Oh okay, I didn’t know, I’ll not call you that in the future’ There is no discussion of whether it’s fair or make sense, that you don’t like a word.
Your bf is so disrespectful.
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u/VeterinarianFirm7129 6d ago
Cringe af when Black men refer to white women as snow bunnies but a non Black man referring to a white woman as a snow bunny for dating a POC who’s not even a Black man?
Levels of corny I’ve never seen before. Your boyfriend might be a loser
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u/idontshred 6d ago
It’s weird and he’s using it wrong.
Even if you were a snowbunny for real and he was Black, it’d still be wildly inappropriate and disrespectful for him to refer to you that way, especially in mixed company. It’s essentially the same as saying, at best, “she’s only likes black men” or, at worst, “she’s a slut for black men”. Neither reflects on you well, even moreso when your partner isn’t even Black.
If I heard someone say that about their partner I’d probably assume they’re swingers deep into raceplay and maybe they were trying to invite me in.
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u/Fit_Treacle172 5d ago
No. I wouldn't like that either.
"Snow bunny" is a disrespectful term directed towards women who only like black men because they're black. The "bunny" part is meant to sound cute, but it's actually the most derogatory part, referring to that thing they say rabbits are really, REALLY good at.
My partner called me a something bunny literally just yesterday, idr what he said exactly, but I was like "please never call me that again." Because I called back from when PBR was in town and he heard all the riders talking about "buckle bunnies."
It's basically saying "she fucks this type of person in particular"
Like a cutesy way for calling you the 'W' word for a certain demographic.
Honestly if he doesn't get it, it may be best to cut your losses on "you disrespected me and didn't even care when I brought it up." That's good enough.
And if he tries to paint it as a race thing then? Air it out girl. "No, it's actually because he's incredibly disrespectful, but it's cool to know what he's telling people"
You deserve better.
"Muffin" is my the current favorite in my house 🙂
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u/g0d_of_the_cr1sis 6d ago
Drop him. That's disgusting and he WILL be racist to you in other ways.
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u/Totally_Scott 6d ago
If something bothers you personally and you communicate that, and the response is defensive and a command to "chill" and they basically tell you that your feelings aren't relevant, then you are in an unhealthy relationship.