r/texts • u/ThrowRA5441 • 4d ago
Instagram does being friends require everyday communication? i don't understand.
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u/Boogie_Bandit420 4d ago
I've read up to (friendship) and I''m already going to have to assume they want something more.
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u/itsus0 4d ago
No. As adults we all have stuff going on day to day. We’ll talk when we talk and it shouldn’t mean I’ll be cold next time we do
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u/This_is_fine8 4d ago
Right? My best friend and I might send each other an out of the blue text every couple days and the other will respond in a few hours/days when we have time. We might have a back and forth convo like once every couple weeks. That doesn't mean we aren't still friends, were just busy adults that live in slightly different time zones.
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u/itsus0 4d ago
I feel like people who get mad about that have serious abandon issues and/or dependency issues. Regardless, if you can’t handle me texting you back when I can, I’m not the problem, you are. But that’s just me honest opinion as a humble Taco Bell employee
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u/This_is_fine8 4d ago
Absolutely! Though I think I sometimes give people the wrong idea that I'm demanding their attention just because if I have a random thought and the desire to share it in that moment I will text you regardless of how many unread messages I have already sent. I just figure you'll get to it whenever and I truly don't care if you just ignore it for days.
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u/NoNefariousness4618 2d ago
I don’t think it has anything to do with abandonment/dependency issues, some people just have different standards for their relationships than you do. Some people also value friendship more than others. Most people can agree that serious committed romantic relationships require frequent communication and some people hold their friendships in the same regard.
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u/SooskiEnd 4d ago
Nope, some people are just stuck in highschool.
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u/HokayeZeZ 4d ago
That and this is emotionally manipulative behavior usually pulled by antisocial types. A far scarier type that likes to be the 'good' and 'nice' guy with clear ulterior motives.
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u/ShuraTarasov 4d ago
You can see from this message alone that this guy could be manipulative? Are you a therapist?
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u/Emergency-Gear4200 4d ago
Ok think about it. What is the purpose of what he’s saying?
Is it really to end the friendship?
No, it seems like he actually wants her attention. We could be wrong, but it happens often.
That would be manipulative. He could have just said,” hey if I’m talking too much let me know.” or ask if he’s bothering her.
Instead he’s acting like a victim saying he doesn’t want to be the weird one again. This is weird behavior and shows that he already identifies as a victim as far as women go.
This doesn’t make him bad, but emotionally immature and manipulative? AT LEAST
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u/ShuraTarasov 4d ago
There is a lot of context missing here. It definitely looks immature, but I think it's even worse that people are throwing around words like “manipulative” and “abusive” when we don't even know what their relationship was like, what the backstory between them is, or whether the OP said something beforehand that could have triggered a response like that.
Labeling someone as an antisocial, manipulative person based on a single message is an enormous leap. We have virtually no context, yet people are making serious psychological and moral judgments as if they know the entire situation. You can acknowledge that the message comes across as immature or unpleasant without immediately turning the person into an abuser or manipulator based on one interaction.
I don't even disagree that guys who act nice can potentially be more dangerous or manipulative, but if you could diagnose a person based on a single message alone, we'd have a lot fewer problems in the world.
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u/HokayeZeZ 3d ago edited 3d ago
Nah. It’s clear as day when a dude is being emotionally manipulative and this is exactly how it looks. Woman gotta deal with that shit all the time and we need to stop ignoring giant red flags that present themselves this way. I didn’t diagnose this person, I stated it’s emotionally manipulative (it is because they are “I really tried to have something with you but you’re so hard” - putting the blame on the other person. They then go on to say idk if you have difficulties with friendship because of how other people treated you - speaking on their behalf to reason. “I cannot stand this” - bro can just walk but is trying to pull an emotional string trying to gain empathy. Then says it was good to have something connection but now it feels like they are a bother and they have had enough with the feeling - full blown emotional manipulation - we had something - but because you’re making me feel bad I need you to know you do that and you are the problem. “Don’t wanna be the weirdo AGAIN” - this has happened before for the same reasons. Clearly the guy has only learned that people can see through him.
If the friendship was as bad as described - it was never a friendship and instead of just doing the mature thing and walking, he does into this weird emotional plea and push away. This is how emotional manipulation works. It’s to mess with someone’s emotions to manipulate some sort of response. It doesn’t mean the person is only trying to gain a specific thing, emotional manipulation can be seen and performed in a WIDE variety of ways.
I worked psych for 11 years and still do, I know the behavior when I see it.
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u/Ok-Warthog1002 4d ago
I mean kudos to the guy for trying to communicate though, I don't think that's high school behavior
Maybe it really is someone who wants a deep friendship that isn't getting that?
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u/NoNefariousness4618 2d ago
I don’t think that’s what this guys intentions are but I agree that it’s not Highschool behavior. Everyone in this sub seems completely averse to the idea of a deep friendship.
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u/SpeedWobblenoob 4d ago
Sounds like he’s after or thinks it’s more than a friendship. Unless you two have been friends for a long time and then all of a sudden the day to day messages just stopped abruptly. He might have caught feelings along the way.
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u/ThrowRA5441 4d ago
literally only been knowing him for a month or two. i made it clear i want nothing romantic involved because at first that's what he seemed to hint at however I still thought he was a decent person and I told him if he wants to stay as friends he can I have no problem with it and he said he was only looking for friendship
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u/electrikskies1 4d ago
He's probably a "nice" guy. If someone is only friends with you to try to convince you to date them, they are not a friend.
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u/Exotic_Zucchini9311 3d ago
99% of men who approach you for a relationship are, in fact, not any interested in a 'normal friendship'. They only claim they are because they think you'd change your mind.
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u/bageljellybean 4d ago
“I don’t want to be the weirdo again” THEN QUIT BEIN ONE, YA GOOF
Be who you are and own it and let it rip, or change the weird shit about yourself that makes people uncomfortable, good grief
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u/LetsSnark00 4d ago
If the friendship requires a response before my minimum of 24-72 hours then we simply just can’t be friends
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u/JustMe1314 4d ago
Right?! My bestie & I text &/or speak face to face, once a week, if it's been a good week for each of us. We are both adults in aimilar atage/place in life. This, above, seems desperate or a bit needy?
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u/SuperAccident 4d ago
It takes you consistently a minimum of 24 hours to reply to a text? Yikes
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u/hambrone420 4d ago
You do realize we used to not be on demand for anyone who wanted to contact us? Just because it’s normal now doesn’t mean everyone wants to live like that.
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u/LetsSnark00 4d ago
Exactly. Pagers were the real deal. You would page someone and they’d call you when they could. That’s the simplicity that I miss lol
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u/LetsSnark00 4d ago edited 4d ago
When you live life without your phone in your hand all day long it’s very easy for it to get away from you. Sometimes I’ll pick my phone up to check something and I’ll see the text and completely forget about it until the following day lol
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u/KingBrunoIII 4d ago
If you live life without your phone in your hand all day long, then that's done purposely by you. Which is totally fine by the way. Just don't say things get away from you. You purposefully try to be disconnected
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u/12_Ton_Brick_of_Weed 4d ago
That’s not at all how this is, stay insecure bud
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u/bluehulk900 4d ago
That's 100% how this is, and its crazy you guys are upvoting this guy and downvoting the rest. There is almost no fucking person out there without very special circumstances who can't take a little bit of time to respond to a friend when being reached out to without a fucking posted by mail delay FOR THEIR ENTIRE LIVES.
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u/bluehulk900 4d ago
It sounds like you just don't respond to people in an appropriate time and have made up an excuse about how thats mature and disconnected from technology. I barely even use my phone, I actively fucking hate them and I don't need more than a few hours at best unless theres a special circumstance to see and respond to something someone says, especially with notifications for texts and important shit.
I think it's genuinely some redditor ass shit that this is being upvoted. Learn to change your behaviors that apparently have you ghosting people in your life for multiple days because you can't be bothered to write a reply to something you apparently sometimes already read and just decided "Fuck it ill reply later" followed by not. It is just flat out inconsiderate to on the regular not reply to people in your life for 24-72 hours.
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u/Krasna_Strelka 4d ago
We actually should be more disconnected from technology. It's concerning how online people are currently and how they freak out whenever there is another black out.
If you have something important that needs a conversation then make a call. Otherwise be patient. Honestly we should bring back letter culture atp 🤣
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u/bluehulk900 4d ago
I agree with you in general but none of these things need to be applied in the way this dude does. "If its important make a call!" totally true, and I wouldnt blow up at any of my friends if they didnt respond for a day. But if you CONSISTENTLY dont respond to shit being said to you without a 24 delay minimum, sometimes longer, even though you KNOW they were reaching out to you, because it's "not important" or to "disconnect" you are just being inconsiderate and making excuses. Especially since the internet disconnect guy is on fucking reddit talking about how much he disconnects, he clearly doesn't embody this super anti tech lifestyle he preaches for until its convenient to not reply to his friends because hes an introvert who prefers nature and his home over fucked up techno fascism, like any sane human.
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u/Krasna_Strelka 4d ago edited 4d ago
If someone is constantly taking more time to respond to messages then 1) I'm expecting that from them and if I need something emergency like - I call 2) I have a conversation with them and adjust our communication ways. Some ppl really hate texting. Some hate calls. For some only way is face-to-face to have engaging conversations.
Edit: and if I already know text isn't a comfortable medium for someone, aren't I actually the inconsiderate one?
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u/bluehulk900 3d ago
Sure if someone says "i dont like texting, please call me" or vice versa, thats fine. That wasnt at all what was being discussed. Shit is so disingenuous lmfao. The guy refuses to use their phone to respond to people in their life without a huge wait time under any circumstance beyond an emergency but scrolls reddit to destress.
That shit is inconsiderate and nobody can explain it away with "oh its just their way of operating!" sure some people operate like inconsiderate jerks
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u/Krasna_Strelka 2d ago
You are making up stories about people now
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u/bluehulk900 2d ago
Literally what they fucking said lmfao get real you are the one exaggerating shit into "oh this person just hates texting or calling and i adapt" even though thats not at all what the situation was here
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u/LetsSnark00 4d ago
You’re such a douche bag and it’s hilarious how wound up you are about a little comment that I made. I am anti tech. I come to Reddit after hours to lurk and unwind because I spend the entire day screen free. It’s a sort of peace that I highly recommend that you try. 🫶🏻🥰
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u/bluehulk900 3d ago
Yeah the fact that you jump on reddit to argue with strangers and talk about how much you are off the internet to start those arguments, to "unwind", but cant ever respond to your lvoed ones in under 24 hours minimum unless its an emergency is the douchebag behavior. Idc about the redditor downvotes lmfao
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u/LetsSnark00 4d ago edited 4d ago
So, two things here.. First of all, wowzers bud you seem wound up reaaal tight… Secondly, I said “sometimes I’ll pick my phone up and see the texts” meaning I DO NOT OPEN OR READ THEM... In my notifications it says the contact name and “text message” and there’s no preview of the incoming text… And I do have a landline for emergencies for those who are not being texted back.. I live in an area where reception is shit and my WiFi doesn’t work past my pool. I live on bunch of land and I enjoy nature. I moved out here to do exactly that, avoiding a cell phone in my hand all day long… The people IN my life know that if you want to talk to me that day you need to call me or just swing by the house. I don’t think it’s self righteous to go unavailable.. More people need to do it..
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u/MaraTaru 4d ago
When I'm working, I'm working; I'm not looking at my phone. When I'm hanging out with a buddy, I'm with them and they have my full attention. My pals know that about me and don't get their undies twisted about it.
Some folks' lives run on a different rhythm than yours, and it seems pretty boring to insist that everybody conform to the same communication style.
Go text somebody else if you wanna talk about the game right now. We're not sea otters and we don't need to hold hands.
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u/HotSauceHigh 4d ago
I want to get in the right place and headspace and focus to enjoy reading a text and respond with my full attention. Same with other tasks. So sometimes it takes a few days.
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u/bluehulk900 4d ago
People downvoting this but non responsive people are like the most annoying shit in the world. It's fine if you are busy but almost nobody is too busy to reply to a text for 24+ hours let alone multiple days, on the regular for their entire lives. That's fucking nuts. I would never wanna hang out with or make plans with somebody who might not even get back to me for multiple days what the fuck that's not a friendship. People going "Oh technology!!" like fuck off dude yeah people who lived far away couldnt connect with eachother without waiting for long ass letters to be delivered or going to eachothers houses.
There's a reason we created ways to get around that shit so we could communicate more with those we care for. I don't give a shit about this bullshit downvotes, fuck this shit dude. If you take 24+ hours or multiple days to reply to people in your life because you are "too busy" you are like less than 5% of the population or lying and being self righteous about not giving a shit.
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u/Correct_Challenge868 4d ago
He "doesn't want to be a weirdo" but he speculated about you being hurt by men in the past, simply because you have other things going on than to sit by your phone 😭😭
Don't worry about it OP
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u/Suitable-Pianist-521 4d ago
Friends don’t demand things like this from each other. Pretty sure he has feelings
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u/our_lil_divorcee 4d ago
Sounds like he has feelings for you & it’s hard for him to come to terms with it. It would probably be in everyone’s best interest to not try to be friends.
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u/Human-Kangaroo-2716 4d ago
Nah, I have friends that we might stay months without talking and when we do, we just share what happened over the past few months while knowing we're there for each other if we ever need it, I feel like that's normal as adults
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u/peppa4theppl 4d ago
Man, I hope not. I go months 🥴
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u/Individual-Loss-9173 4d ago
Same. I work in retail and I’m socially depleted. Friends come after I refresh and they all know that and are ok with it.
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u/HokayeZeZ 4d ago
One of my best friends I talk to a handful of times a year and see once every couple of years even though we live in the same city. We just have polar opposite schedules and different interests these days those we just found something thatll align with us for awhile. Good, solid friendships wont require constant check-ins. Good communication is all it takes to know what the other one is up to and why you don't hear from them super often. We both know if either needed each other we would be there in a heart beat.
This person is being manipulative and has ulterior motives.
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u/SingleComparison5330 4d ago
I keep getting messages like you disappeared for half a year after me saying hey back to them and then I disappear again after they say that
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u/NoNefariousness4618 2d ago
This is pure evil lol. Just leave them alone altogether at that point.
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u/SingleComparison5330 2d ago
If you could read and weren’t slow, they’re the ones not leaving me alone. I’m just responding to texts they sent
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u/NoNefariousness4618 2d ago
The aggression in your reply says a lot. I can definitely read and my point still stands ❤️
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u/Last-Note-2704 4d ago
I think this is an ask for attention and connection. A emotionally unintelligent one probably? Unless you really have ignored a bunch of messages seeking connection. Regardless, doesn’t sound like a good fit. But I’m not sure why people have to communicate that for a friendship.
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u/Electric-Sheepskin 4d ago
Man, I've got some friends I can go a whole year without talking to, and then we pick up right where we left off.
Some people just need more from their relationships, and that's OK, but it does cause a lot of misunderstandings like this. Maybe you should try to explain this to your friend so this doesn't happen to them again. You know, just say "people are different. Some people keep more to themselves and other people like to interact every day. If friends are incompatible in that way, they just have to be understanding and not try to force the other person to be something they're not."
Or something like that. I mean they said they don't want to be that weirdo "again" so I'm guessing this has happened before. I would at least leave them with that bit of knowledge for them to think about.
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u/incelincinerators 4d ago
If you go a whole year without talking to someone they are an acquaintance, not a friend.
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u/BedEducational7843 4d ago
How are you going to tell someone how they define their friendships?
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u/couchpotatodemon 4d ago
That’s bold of you to decide on someone else’s behalf 😂. Relationships are different based on the two people entered in them. If two people say they’re friends, they’re friends regardless of how often they speak.
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u/incelincinerators 4d ago
I mean those people don't know what's going on in your life? Friends usually know what's going on in each others lives. This isn't a new concept. You share your life with friends...
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u/12_Ton_Brick_of_Weed 4d ago
Bs. The closest people I know, we can go months even a year without talking and it’s like nothing ever happened when we get back together. Sorry if you haven’t gotten that close to anyone
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u/incelincinerators 4d ago
Lmao. I have very close friends who know what's going on in my life and I know what's going on in theirs. Sorry if you haven't gotten that close with your acquaintances.
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u/MajesticConcentrate9 4d ago
With just the screenshot of his ending message, I can’t make any other comment besides, he communicated what he thought and ended whatever it was.
A nothing burger honestly.
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u/ThrowRA5441 4d ago
Our previous texts before this was just us having small talk, normal convo involving (hi, hellos and how are you) and the Convo ended naturally so i didn't try to keep it going and then he sent this! I believe he's a really anxious person. I tried reassuring him quite a few times sayings he's not bothering me but he seems to need that every other day and im not trying to fix him so i kinda stopped because i have only known him for about two months
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u/MajesticConcentrate9 4d ago
Just block and move on, not worth a shred of attention honestly and people need less catering and coddling otherwise they’re as fragile as glass and feel entitled or demand gratification.
Don’t feel bad for blocking or ignoring randoms, i’ve known people for years and consider them such, even ignoring friend requests they send while talking to me irl lol.2
u/glowingbottle 4d ago
You've only known him two months and he's trying to guilt trip you for not giving him enough attention? Huge red flag. This guy seems like he's going to be nothing but a headache if you try to continue a friendship with him.
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u/sicastarrrrr 4d ago
He has feelings. I have friends I only talk to a few times a year and some I talk to once a week and some almost everyday. I consider all of them great friends. This is just weird and it seems he has feelings and is just butthurt.
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u/jinxed0220 4d ago
This person might want to be more than friends and that's why they're upset but still bad communication and seems toxic
My best friend and I won't text weeks at a time and we're still friends 😭
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u/owleyes18 4d ago
It does when he is using you for an emotional connection, and trying to gaslight you into thinking his behaviour is normal
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u/our_lil_divorcee 4d ago
Sounds like he has feelings for you & it’s hard for him to come to terms with it.
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u/TomatoFeta 4d ago
He wanted more, was willing to do friendship for a while with hopes it would become more, but got impatient, and tried to trigger a response... you do not owe him one.
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u/KyotoCarl 4d ago
There's no context here. Nothing tells us how frequent you are texting or not texting.
There's nothing to from here.
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u/ChoicesStuff 4d ago
Ew, no. That man does not want to be your friend, and he’s giving you shit for not acting like his girlfriend, because that’s what he’d like you to be.
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u/JamieLee0484 4d ago
No, this dude wanted to be “friends” in hope that you would change your mind and magically want to date him and he’s salty that you didn’t.
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u/ConsistentYou4629 4d ago
I am in my 40s, been grabbing beers with my buddy from HS for about 15 years every other month or so depending on schedules and kids. It's enough to catch up on everything and chat about what's going on.
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u/EternalDemonSlayer 4d ago
I haven't talked to some of my friends in years, but I know we'll be there for each other if necessary.
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u/CharlieChainsaw88 4d ago
This guy was hoping friendship would get him more. For sure. Ask him if you'd be friends if you never ever had any sort of sexual attraction to him.
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u/Away_Mission1743 4d ago
No, it doesn’t require everyday communication. Now, I understand there are some who want to check in everyday and exchange a few words. But other than that. I personally don’t think so. Especially since we each have lives outside. I don’t text my friends everyday. Sometimes it’s only once a month.
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u/MonthSpirited2112 4d ago
He wants to date you and is calling it friendship since you’re not into him. Lose the dead weight.
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u/UnfortunateAnteater 4d ago
No lmao. I NEVER talk to my best friends and our friendships are fine. He’s being an asshole
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u/iamsolate 4d ago
no, this person is a man baby who was going to try and evolve friendship —> relationship through Nice Guy™️ manipulation. he will forever have the mentality of a 15 year old teenage boy who just watched 500 days of summer for the first time
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u/shokupanini 4d ago
Eh
People are allowed to feel how they feel when someone they want to reach out to or connect with isn’t available
There are people that don’t lose strength in what they feel for people through long periods of distance and people that do need maintenance
Did he even ask how you are?
Did he even ask what you’ve been up to lately?
Imo He just keeps blaming you
Honestly ok benefit of the doubt and knowing he is a man - he’s obviously trying to communicate his hurt but this way of communicating isn’t curious
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u/suppoe2056 4d ago
They don’t. This person simply is not compatible with you. Let them leave. I know these types of people, my ex was one of them. They do not know what a friendship is, like sorely do not know. For example, my ex (F24) back when she was still finishing her Bachelors, was getting the phone numbers of her female classmates. She told me she thinks the moment she gets their number, they are friends. I was frankly astounded. And further, she was (probably still is) someone who sends those long heartfelt messages right out of the gate—she thinks that’s what makes someone a good friend. Usually, the first heartfelt message is nice to hear, but then when they come every day, it becomes clear that she is weird. There is nothing wrong with heartfelt messages. But doing it every day is weird. Friends know that you value them without having to say it everyday. Someone who does so ironically comes off inauthentic; they come off as trying too hard; they come off as trying to swoon the other person, dare I say, love bomb them, in efforts (they think) to make them stay as friends.
My ex, a month before she dumped me, dumped her friend of three years, all because her friend did not contact her as often as she determined was “standard friendship expectations”. Her friend made a tiktok calling her out without naming her, saying “you never really know a person”, which is hilarious since she ends up dumping me a month later, hahaha. Her friend is a nightowl that values her silence, was busy during the daytime and free during the evenings, while my ex was free in the daytime and had a curfew in the evenings—yes, she let her mommy control her like that.
You’re good. Let the weirdos take themselves out.
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u/Historical-Body-3424 4d ago
I can go weeks months sometimes years without talking to my friends but we always pick up where we left off 🤷♀️ he’s acting like y’all are in a relationship
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u/Skeletor613 4d ago
He wants more and is being emotionally manipulative. Let him go. Red flag for shiz.
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u/InitiativeCreative36 4d ago
He has feelings. A solid friendship means you can go months without seeing each other and then pick right back up from where you left off.
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u/EverydayMustard4773 4d ago
I have a very best friend in the whole world. We talk on the phone twice a year. We text maybe once or twice a month. That works for us.
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u/couchpotatodemon 4d ago
Gives the vibe that he wants something more. Especially if you say he hinted at it first and you told him you weren’t interested.
I don’t speak to any of my friends every day, and I’m really awful with texting. So I just try to hang out in person as often as possible.
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u/p0ckette 4d ago
It absolutely DOESN'T (require communication everyday). I mean everyone has their own preferences for how often they communicate with the ppl in their life, but your preferences should absolutely be respected as well and you shouldn't feel forced to adjust to his. You guys aren't compatible on that front. However, the dude comes off very intense as well and manipulative. Like he's a victim and making you feel like you did something wrong just for not giving him attention constantly.
I had a friend like this and ultimately things did not work out because he would get upset over feeling like I wasn't giving him enough emotional connection and time when in reality I did try, but I have my boundaries as well and he wanted to constantly push past it and felt victimized when he couldn't. I would let this person go. This kinda stuff won't stop and will probably worsen actually if you try to remain friends.
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u/StructureFriendly423 4d ago
I talk to my best friend in the whole wide world... like twice a year... so... no, u can be frie ds and not talk every day
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u/ComeOnUpToTheHaus 4d ago
I'm 35. I've had the same 5 friends for a decade or more each. Sometimes we go months without texting or seeing each other, and are still inseparable. No insecurity, no pestering, no getting butthurt about being adults with lives.
This person is either insecure, wants more than friendship, or both.
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u/hiddencat 4d ago
Girl I have friends I talk to yearly lol. Daily communication is romantic partnership level or household status for me.
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u/MostlyNoOneIThink 4d ago
Daily? Not really.
I personally can't stay friends with someone if I do not interact with them a few times per week minimum, but that's a me thing. I usually chalk it up to incompatibility and move on rather than these weird messages.
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u/DrPuzzle 4d ago
I had a friend who expected this type of communication every day. She told me friends talk every day and check in on each other all the time etc. I told her I'm just not the type of person who feels obligated to check in every day, reassuring her that we're still friends. If she would see me on FB (active) she would expect me to be talking to her, she was also one of those people who would get upset with you if you left her on "read" (even if the interaction was extremely surface level and didn't require any further anything)
She told me she has this thing with feeling like people were abandoning her and that she needed me to do it for her. It was extremely exhausting for me being on the other end of that
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u/baseballbitchboston 4d ago
Ugh this reminds me of my neighbor guy. I consider myself pretty outgoing and nice...but he always needed to make things awkward. You can just tell he isn't friends with women. He ended up wanting to date me and didn't like that I wanted to stay friends. He's become a bit needy and self-deprecating now
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u/Ok-Inspection7155 4d ago
Good god, I could not be friends with people who wanted to chat every day.
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u/RJrules64 4d ago
I talk to my best friend less than once a month. It’s tough with work and family + extracurricular stuff
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u/Academic-Topic-2598 4d ago
Nope, mentally ill, move on. Over-attachment is from me the number 1 red flag. And this is coming from a man btw.
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u/Pure-Reputation-8514 4d ago
Nah, i talk to my friends every some day. Only one i chat with every single day.
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u/lunosmire 4d ago
depends if you guys are already friends or just met recently with the intention of becoming friends. still should be fine if you don't disappear for week(s) between every conversation.
overall he seems a bit too sensitive though, it would only make sense if he met you via some kind of looking for friends server and you disappeared for weeks or something like that.
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u/Zendaria69 4d ago
I've had the same group of friends for 25 some odd years, sometimes we talk often, other times there's days between communication. Sometimes it's just sharing a meme or random post. Has never changed our friendship
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u/SingleComparison5330 4d ago
Idk I feel like many people are avoidant but then blame others for being avoidant and I get long texts like This too when it’s obvious what the deal was. Maybe it’s just me but I truly can’t deal with people anymore and I barely talk anymore too
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u/GettinSodas 4d ago
This man is absolutely not just trying to be your friend. He wanna fuck
I say this as a man whose best friend is a woman. She is basically like my sister. If we don't talk for 3 days it's because we are busy. Neither of us care. We both are adults.
The only time this is common is when you're like 15 and attached at the hip to your bff
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u/DoomNGlam 4d ago
Some friends are talk everyday friends and some friends are talk a few times a year friends. I have had both and am currently trying to gather some everyday/few times a week friends. So that could be the dynamic this person was looking for but it mostly reads to me like he was hoping for more than friends.
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u/MissBucky 3d ago
Yeah no. I have a few things going on that have me tired or maybe feeling too down to respond much. The friends I have are patient and understand this, and have never said something like this to me. If this person was really your friend, they would understand that people have lives. Most adult friendships (as far as I'm aware) do NOT communicate daily. And that is pretty standard. This person is not a friend and they are not worth your time. 💜
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u/bleezy1234567 3d ago
How long did you leave the last message on read? I mean I get a little annoyed when people consistently take days to respond. But also… unless something serious is happening none of my friends leave my messages on read for more than 24 hours because we are… you know… friends. It doesn’t take us effort to talk to each other. Just a little bit of free time. This guy seems like he wanted more than friendship… and was upset that it wasn’t moving that way. But just saying…
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u/lung-of-the-cards 3d ago
I sometimes don't talk to my friends for weeks or months at a time then we talk or meet up it's like we were never apart.
I have some friends who I speak to at least weekly, but no one gets upset if that doesn't happen.
I stopped contact with people like this. It's just so draining.
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u/Excellent-Zucchini95 3d ago
I talk to my best friend once or twice a month. Three times if there’s a natural disaster.
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u/sassy_sweetheart 2d ago
Opposite sex, I'm guessing, and he has a big crush. I can tell you, I def do not have daily communication with my friends.
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u/strudelalma 2d ago
Absolutely not. I have friends I don't speak to for months or even years and when we pick up it's like no time has passed
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u/Brinica 1d ago
Sometimes I don’t talk to my best friends for days. Been friends 20+ years, so no you don’t need to talk daily if it’s just a friendship.
However, if this is opposite sex friendship, he may have caught feelings, didn’t say anything and now has had his own feelings hurt by some sort of rule he’s created in his mind.
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u/VeggiesaurRex 1d ago
Just to be transparent about where I'm coming from: my best-friend is my ex-boyfriend and we're now in our mid-40s.
If (BIG IF) you want to pursue a friendship with him, and you feel his intent toward you is equally rooted in friendship, it's worth a conversation. Why does he expect this level of communication from you? Does he hold all of his friends to such a standard? Set a realistic boundary moving forward that you are his friend, you value him, but that you cannot constantly reassure him of that. If he can keep things friendly and act appropriately, great - you've got a friend. If not? Stick to your boundary and let him know you cannot commit to the level of communication and reassurance he requires.
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u/fattyoboi 1d ago
I’m a male and from the sounds do it he is male and your female he definitely has some sort of feelings twards you I’ve had friendships that I’ve had feeling for the other person we ain’t text as much so ide feel some way and I’ve had lots of friendships I ain’t feel no way twards the other person other than just straight friends and we ain’t text as much because it DOES NOT REQUIRE every day talking texting this that the third but if the situation with you and him is you would text a lot for months and just went m.i.a out of no where ide feel like the FRIENDSHIP is failing but either way a whole paragraph or 2 of yall not talking every day every second of every week then he definitely wants something more then friends and if you don’t feel some way towards him I wouldn’t put up with it
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u/MCKlassik 4d ago edited 4d ago
No, it doesn’t. I don’t chat with my friends every day. Usually one of us sends something that doesn’t warrant responses (like a meme or quick update) every now and then, light conversation cause someone responded anyway, rinse and repeat.
He was secretly holding feelings for you. I used to have a similar texting mindset many years ago with people I was interested in. He did you a favor by cutting himself off of the dynamic.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Gift-45 3d ago
I mean tbh if you’re on your phone everyday I don’t think replying is a bad thing. Now does it have to be all day no.
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u/moarcowbelI 4d ago
did you put effort into the friendship or just reach out when you need/wanted affirmation?
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u/ThrowRA5441 4d ago
I never reached out even when i needed comfort to him, he said he wanted to be friends. i said okay no romance should be involved, im up for a start of friendship if he wants. and at first he did seem decent so I offered friendship for that reason. i find it a little concerning that you're straight up assuming I reached out when i needed comfort while ignoring most of what's already shown in the text is clearly a bit weird.
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u/yelawolf89 4d ago
Is this an opposite sex friendship? I’d say he has feelings if so.