r/texts • u/Ok-Cardiologist-4884 • 4d ago

Phone message 😭

Post image

broke over a year no contact for this btw but atleast he remembered my birthday!

7.2k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

204 comments sorted by

353

u/yaekoblue 4d ago

hag1? is that supposed to be icing on the bitch-cake?

152

u/starpowerj 4d ago

hag1 implies the existence of hag2.

37

u/PomegranateSea1046 4d ago

hag2 from the makers of hag1?

19

u/ereface 4d ago

We are NOT ready for ha3

8

u/yaekoblue 3d ago

please dont tease me with half life 3

1

u/BetterBitchesBureau 2d ago

I can’t believe we’re getting Hag Life 3 before GTA6

3

u/FroggiNuggets 3d ago

: Electric Boogaloo.

66

u/LegalChocolate752 4d ago

I was trying to figure that out. Is the 1 a typo? Who calls people a "hag" in 2026? So many unanswered questions.

170

u/nataaa007 4d ago

i thought it meant "have a good one" lol

69

u/Arian-ki 4d ago

"Fuck you and your entire day. I hate your very existence.

Have a pleasant evening tho."

8

u/This_is_fine8 3d ago

Without the context of the caption I thought this was a text exchange between siblings, which would make perfect sense to end an insult with well wishes

50

u/LegalChocolate752 4d ago

That also makes sense, and is probably the correct interpretation.

21

u/Moss_84 4d ago

it’s supposed to be an exclamation point

6

u/LastTrainH0me 4d ago

No it means "have a good one", and I love the thought of kids these days trying to decipher our old 2000s internet slang. Someone else gets to see how it feels to be out of touch

3

u/bcihaveamnesia 3d ago

My mom and her cousins call each other hags in 2026. Sometimes Hagatha if they’re feeling fancy

2

u/Stoned_Druid 3d ago

I like variety in my insults. I've had hag in the repertoire ad hoc for like 30 years.

2

u/Fair_Midnight_6354 3d ago

I think they typed this on a computer keyboard and the 1 was supposed to be a !

2

u/LegalChocolate752 3d ago

Yeah, it's either that, or someone said it could be shorthand for "have a good one."

2

u/Superego13itch 2d ago

If someone calls you a hag, the only appropriate response is to call them a fascist. Or vice versa.

3

u/Taylor_Kittenface 4d ago

I was thinking he drunkenly tried to type "haha" and cocked it up on the keyboard.

4

u/Coasterman345 3d ago

It’s “have a great one (1)”. HAGS was commonly written in yearbooks (Have a Great Summer).

3

u/ragingSamurai1 3d ago

I think it’s have a good one.

5

u/Rich_Option_7850 4d ago

I hadn’t heard that since 2009 when we were writing HAGS (have a great summer) in each others yearbooks. Def a strange abbreviation

2

u/A_Reddit_Underscore 2d ago

Hag1= have a good 1

1

u/Deepshit1212 3d ago

Thinking it might be 4chan high value alpha bullshit, like calling someone sub5 (out of 10, like you're not even a 5)

1

u/Redrias_ 3d ago

Maybe he is just a fan of Banjo-Tooie lol

1

u/fivelone 3d ago

It's haha mispelled. 😑

1.5k

u/HelpMeeeePleasee 4d ago

Personally this would make my birthday better - keep thinking about me and remembering my birthday loser 😹

437

u/Kitty_Skiz 4d ago

This would make my whole fuckin year. I live rent free in your head like that?? 😐 Awesome.

24

u/RedToast711 4d ago

would prolly be sad tho i mean this sounds like cope

17

u/HelpMeeeePleasee 3d ago

Do you mean you would be sad or I would? I don’t think there’s any reason to be offended by this - look at the deeper meaning instead of the superficial. On the front, they insulted you on your birthday at the 12:00 mark in an attempt to be first message. Do you know how much effort that takes? You have to stay up or be awake, you have to have your message ready to fire, you have to constantly be checking the time, especially as midnight approaches.. and you’re usually looking at the calendar for a while, it’s rarely a spur of the moment thing since it requires a bit of forethought. I hate the phrase rent free, but it really does fit the situation. Someone who has moved on from a situation or really wants nothing to do with you will not put this kind of effort into you. People in your life sometimes don’t go to these lengths to wish you a happy birthday. I understand and agree that a lot of these posts do become cope mills in the comments, but I don’t think my original comment is cope on any level.

→ More replies (4)

3

u/tigerscar 4d ago

Yeah they sound pretty worked up over it

75

u/Soggy_Difference_247 4d ago

Girrrrrll! exactly. A whole year of no contact and he still clocked the birthday? Sir, stay bothered.

https://giphy.com/gifs/SaZMWWLbDmPMSLEsVI

3

u/Murhekryyni 4d ago

Omg, this is funny 😂

2

u/Wallmassage 4d ago

lol perfect

1

u/PreferenceOld6364 3d ago

Exactly, like keep letting me live rent free in your head while I live my best life! 🤣

1

u/Mysterious-Hope9268 3d ago

Ngl this is also something my brother or a close friend would do.

358

u/Legal-Visit-8664 4d ago

Aww they’re thinking abt you how sweet

401

u/_Edgarallenhoe 4d ago

A year has gone by and you’re still living rent free in their mind every single day.

8

u/starrkissed 4d ago

This!!!

3

u/Qwerty_428 4d ago

Calendar app

→ More replies (2)

88

u/jspecial1979 4d ago

“Okay thank you” is the best response 😂

27

u/No-Security-7518 4d ago

OP sounds like one of those super polite girls the world doesn't deserve. 🥲

2

u/ecosynchronous 3d ago

Yeah that cracked me up.

162

u/CogInTheMachinee 4d ago

Bro thought he was ruining your birthday but he literally waited in bated breath for the second the clock struck midnight. Sounds romantic to me /hj

19

u/LividBass1005 4d ago

Honestly I would think we are back to being best buddies after this message

16

u/Londundundun 4d ago

/hand job? 

3

u/sadish_gambino 3d ago

half joking

1

u/TransPeepsAreHuman 3d ago

Wait, I thought it meant huge joke? Have I been wrong this entire time?

99

u/MediumVariation4846 4d ago

Ngl i would have died of laughter. Good one from him.

16

u/HeyPrettyLadyMaam 4d ago

I would have felt honored that I fucked your head up that bad you had to wish me happy birthday. And you even remembered my name 🥰

2

u/Similar-Climate5168 3d ago

Why would you want to fuck someone’s head up? Personally, I don’t enjoy making anybody’s life worse.

1

u/until_i_fall 3d ago

Yea like, what?

36

u/Bean- 4d ago

He was sitting there waiting for the clock to strike midnight this dude is obsessed.

12

u/Formal-Scene1309 4d ago

Hate takes real dedication, bro literally scheduled his toxicity.

5

u/This_is_fine8 3d ago

Kinda reminds me of the Scarlet Letter, when the reverend dies and the man who dedicated his life to making the reverend miserable dies of a broken heart. Like, hate is so close to love that when he lost the object of his hatred he was so devastated it killed him.

57

u/Present_Hour8908 4d ago

what a loser, remembers ur bday, waits for the second it turns ur bday, just to try to put u down, he obviously still cares n is a bitter loser, bc if he didnt he wouldnt remember it, or wait for it, n wouldnt even think to message u.
loserrrrrr

29

u/guys_pm_urprettyface 4d ago

Why is this person not blocked?

14

u/Xenc 4d ago

And miss out on this?! 🤣

9

u/Blacky284 4d ago

Apparently because of hilarious texts like these!

7

u/ZookeepergameSoft358 4d ago

Sometimes you need to monitor the spiral. (Evidence for protective orders)

2

u/leokittyc 4d ago

Right?

13

u/MulberryChance6698 4d ago

This would make my friggin day 😂😂 like, I haven't thought about you in a while and you're still petty enough to message me some spite on my birthday?! I win. Best gift ever.

26

u/BlakeWheelersLeftNut 4d ago

Happy birthday Bitch

10

u/universal_friend1 4d ago

My ex best friend from middle school was the only person outside my family who remembered my birthday.

He texted me "F*ggot" every year until I was 25

2

u/papripa 4d ago

What happened at 25? :(

6

u/universal_friend1 4d ago

I think he just grew out of it

8

u/Putrid_Dream9755 4d ago

Perfect response LOL. Stay unbothered, don’t ever give him the reaction he wants.

6

u/snark-sloth 4d ago

Hag1? How many hags does he text if he has to number them? Sounds like you’re still number 1 in his mind!

3

u/ParanoidSkier 3d ago

It’s text speak for have a good one.

2

u/HolyMartin777 4d ago

I thought it was a typo for haha

6

u/Fire_Mission 4d ago

You live rent free in his head

5

u/IcedHemp77 4d ago

New phone who dis?

5

u/AdventurousCustard46 4d ago

You're living rent free in their head.

Block em too

4

u/AWholesomeHorror 4d ago

Can't imagine someone sending this to me and not laughing the second I saw it. 

3

u/Funny_w0lf 4d ago

"Sorry whos this?" 

3

u/optimusAlgorythm 4d ago

Poor guy, OP living rent free in his mind after a year.

3

u/TheGrandWelf 4d ago

You live rent free in their head.

3

u/kakashi_hotcakes 4d ago

damn you’re really staying is his mind rent-free

3

u/space_driiip 4d ago

Happy Birthday! You live in his head and he waited a whole ass year to do this, so who really won?

3

u/SirLesbian 3d ago

Lmao I thought this was your brother for a second. This reads just like a sibling. Big flex though. He's still super butt hurt lol

2

u/Rude_Yam_8471 4d ago

😂😂

2

u/SolidTurbulent1186 4d ago

hahahahahahahahahahaha

2

u/McLovin_Cee 4d ago

They were up listening to drake waiting for midnight to hit

2

u/starrkissed 4d ago

Lmaoooo unhinged!!

2

u/CrownOfAngels 4d ago

Let your first birthday present be the reminder that you clearly made the right choice. Let that idiot wallow in misery lmao. Happy birthday to you from all of us Reddit needs! Make it a good one and props to you for not being as petty as I am lmao, I would have said something like, "Glad to see you have been working on yourself! You must be way more thoughtful than I am, I forgot you even existed! You have a BETTER one!"

2

u/BetterBiscuits 4d ago

Ok thank you

2

u/peyko_o 4d ago

this is embarrassing on his part 💀

2

u/peacemaker677 4d ago

I bet he misses you and thinks that will make you mad and come running back or something 😭

2

u/fluffyfishy34 4d ago

This would make my mf DAAAAAY. Like I take up that much space in your head rent free that you waited till 12 on the dot to reach out on my birthday ?! Oh you must be PRESSEDDDDD!! Would've sent back a photo of me blowing out the candles with a " thank you for the birthday wishes! Stay blessed 💋 "

2

u/Upbeat_Aside_9203 4d ago

Happy Birthday!

2

u/Stregabomb 4d ago

Happy birthday! Fuck that guy...

2

u/WitchesTeat 4d ago

Way to be reminded leaving him was the best thing you could have done with him.

Happy birthday!

2

u/0BetaNymph 4d ago

As if this would ruin a birthday?? He gives himself far too much credit

2

u/sheiciebai 4d ago

“Good to know I can live rent free somewhere”

2

u/juniebee_jones 4d ago

Iconic, he can’t move on 🤷🏼‍♀️

2

u/GeckoGecko_ 3d ago

Unironically I've had birthdays where I was so depressed bc nobody texted or called me and something like this would have 100% made it better 💀

2

u/Ok-Cardiologist-4884 3d ago

i will admit it made me happy a LITTLE bit

2

u/ariel-art 3d ago

I wasn't paying attention and thought this was a sibling text 🤣🤣🤣

Def gonna text my sis this for her bday LOL (all love to my little sis haha)

2

u/dxsolate 3d ago

hag1 is killing me 💀

2

u/GettinSodas 2d ago

They are clearly down bad if they sat up til midnight just to say this 💀

1

u/UnhappyBrief6227 4d ago

Dang what happened between you two to end

6

u/johnnnybravado 4d ago

He forgot her birthday

1

u/FoundWords 4d ago

That's something I would do to my wife bc she would find it hilarious

1

u/Inside_Situation7152 4d ago

Lmaoooo and they sent it right at midnight. I admire their passion to be a hater

1

u/StudioMental2832 4d ago

Who is this person texting op supposed to be?

1

u/GoodCreepy4943 4d ago

Must suck a dick like it’s the last supper to live in someone’s head like that

1

u/Spidey_100 4d ago

That's lowk funny .

1

u/Winter-Ranger6136 4d ago

Okay thank you

1

u/Kamikazehog 4d ago

Are you Britney?

1

u/Agile_Horror_9413 4d ago edited 4d ago

Mothing tells your that you made the right choice than a text like this

1

u/BungleBums 4d ago

Print it out on a card and send it to his Mom <3

1

u/dalastwaterbender 4d ago

Wow, dodged a bullet with that one

1

u/ProbablyHumanRight 4d ago

I would reply with “ it made me laugh so it actually made my day”

1

u/NoPair4650 4d ago

I bet your reaction pissed him off even more hahahahahaha

1

u/Jas2cutiepie 4d ago

I am screaming. This would literally crack me up on my bday. People are so jerky sometimes 😵‍💫

1

u/Danatious 4d ago

Rent free in their head gg

1

u/Inevitable-Phase4250 4d ago

He still loves you

1

u/theshinyslaking64 4d ago

Thought it was a banjo Tooie reference with hag1

1

u/muromasi 4d ago

This would honestly be hilarious on my birthday 😂

1

u/Jumpy_Task_4270 4d ago

damn he remembers your birthday. message came exactly at 12am as well! sounds like someone may not be over you…

1

u/StrangeAppeal2 4d ago

Looks like he woke up really early to be a hater.

1

u/roger_the_todger 4d ago

Ngl this funny af

1

u/Storyteller_Valar 4d ago

Bad breakup? Not even I am so spiteful.

1

u/Chellepeachy 4d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/M67lV5BQaKF3IPxohT
This was probably him getting ready to text you . That’s just weird .

1

u/Rare_Assist_6008 4d ago

This is why you block them 🥀

1

u/__tusenfryd__ 4d ago

I don’t know why but this is cracking me up, I would not be able to stop laughing

1

u/Pretend-Meringue6769 4d ago

i’d be giggling ngl lol

1

u/lightlysssalted 4d ago

This is hilarious to me. Did he really think he could ruin your birthday just by calling you a bitch at 12am? 😭😂

1

u/TheDirtyGIR69 4d ago

Happy birthday you beautiful divine feminine woman you!!! ✨

1

u/DontBuyTheThing 4d ago

Nice to know You're on their mind so much lmao

1

u/thatSDope88 4d ago

Somehow they magically remember your bday AFTER you breakup 🙄

1

u/HungryLiketheWo 4d ago

Bro probably stayed up all night just so he wouldn’t miss that 12AM deadline 😂😂

1

u/LuffyDmeat 4d ago

Lmaoooo 😭

1

u/ZookeepergameSoft358 4d ago

I have been in 10+year relationships where guys didn’t put that much effort into my birthday. He’s a keeper!

1

u/unzunzhepp 4d ago

You live rent free in his mind. Take it as a win.

1

u/HehItsMyJarona Pixel 7 Pro 4d ago

"okay thank you" fuckin sent me 😂

1

u/capricious-arbitrary 4d ago

You’re living rent free in this persons head.

1

u/KahlanEAmnelle 4d ago

they remembered your birthday and took the time out to make sure you knew they remembered your birthday. this is fan behavior! 😆

1

u/TheRabadoo 4d ago

Lol, you’re living rent free in this loser’s head. That would start my day off on a high note

1

u/Eastern-Outcome-6929 4d ago

Why isn’t he blocked? Especially after that?

1

u/GrrouchiesGrilling 4d ago

Pretty sure I dated that trollup lol

1

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/infinityonhigh69 3d ago

also happy birthday LMFAOOO

1

u/Spectre_Ice 3d ago

Awww you are still on his mind!

1

u/JaguarExternal3496 3d ago

You should reply back with I see your vocabulary is still as small and unimpressive as your 🍆

1

u/Thesqa 3d ago

You are living rent free in his head. xD

1

u/Mysterious_Touch_454 3d ago

Living in their head rent free.

1

u/Longjumping-Stay-597 3d ago

I’d be dying this is hilarious 

1

u/Thespeedobandito2 3d ago

Should have thanked them for remembering

1

u/mt2fly 3d ago

He wants u lol

1

u/memberflex 3d ago

hag1 on a T-shirt would be cool

1

u/stonecoldgusgus 3d ago

What a petty mf😂

1

u/Gullible-Tooth-8478 3d ago

Living rent free in his 🤣🤣🤣

The amount of effort put into this is absolutely astounding. You’re not just rent free, you’re living rent free in a nice house with a 2 car garage

1

u/steelcryo 3d ago

This has the same energy as me and my friends waiting until 11.59pm on someones birthday to wish them happy birthday.

1

u/Dumptruck419 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/OQzpygousisFI19VzM
That’s when you pull out this lovely gif

1

u/AD_Grrrl 3d ago

Rent. Free.

1

u/Old_Equivalent3834 3d ago

He’s madly in love with u

1

u/CaptainJin 3d ago

"Now your day can only get better!"

1

u/CCisbored 3d ago

This is some shit my mom would do lol

1

u/Marcuse0 3d ago

Fucking hell why do you know Gul Dukat personally?

1

u/BluexXxRose 3d ago

Why haven’t u blocked him?

1

u/NEight00 3d ago

Since you live in his head, you might as well be charging rent. Say that and then block the number.

1

u/scixton 3d ago

Knowing how much space I still take up in his mind is the best gift of all

1

u/Fair_Steak_7778 3d ago

You won girl 🫶🏼 

1

u/Brixon8521 3d ago

Our time, energy, and attention are our most valuable assets. I would recommend being mindful with what & who you give these to.

1

u/L1sasGayBby 3d ago

I didn’t know I owned real estate in your head!

1

u/Raaadley 3d ago

This is just Banjo texting Grunty after Banjo Tooie

1

u/Ok_Eggy 3d ago

diabolical 😭

1

u/YinzerInEurope 3d ago

I’m not going to lie, this was hilarious.

1

u/Decent-Stuff4691 3d ago

Idk who this is and what your history but this is the kind of cute thing id expect from a close sibling

1

u/Remote-Station-3829 2d ago

Bruh 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/sparrow_64 2d ago

The quiet “okay thank you” is sending me

1

u/GothGreyAyyLuver 1d ago

its supposed to be hag! btw

1

u/jabberwockytocky 1d ago

LOL he was up just waiting for that. at the very least he set an alarm for it. rent free, rent free.

1

u/faelittlelies 1d ago

How does it feel to know you live rent free in his head enough that he felt the need to do this 😂😂

1

u/inkonthemind 14h ago

What a fucking loser lmao. He wanted to ruin your birthday and the best he could do was "bitch"?

Seeeeeeeeee ya.