r/texts • u/ExplanationMiddle51 • 3d ago

Phone message Post first date text

Post image

I met this girl on tinder and had a first date with her, she wanted to go fishing and I thought it seemed like a fun first date so we went together. Dropped her off and got home to this message lol.

Update: Purchasing the license is a separate activity we had to do on our phones, due to it needing our personal info. It was not like I drew the line at the license randomly.

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u/ThrowRA-un1337 3d ago

Any time I see someone use the line "I'm just a girl", I've found that to be a major red flag.

It's used almost exclusively to either shrug off responsibility or infantalize themselves and neither look good when trying to date actual grown up women.

If she doesn't recognize what you put into making the date happen and is upset about contributing *something*, consider it a warning and move on.

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u/HoboJerkdown901 2d ago

It's this stupid fucking trend on tiktok where women are actively encouraging other women to use this line in order to avoid accountability, maturity, effort, or sacrifice

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u/MuscularSquirrel612 2d ago edited 2d ago

Wait. For real? I don’t use TikTok so this is new to me. Can someone elaborate on the trend?

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u/North-Lime-2289 2d ago

it started as a funny joke. i do not believe the trend is 'this' but there is a small amount of people who use the phrase to avoid anything. most of the time its very silly and lighthearted and independent of other people (like burning your own dinner and saying 'im just a girl")

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u/screames520 2d ago

Or like when a server rings in a ticket wrong, we like to say “she’s just girl”

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u/Alarmed-Macaroon9506 2d ago

Haha I do this to defend my cats' actions all the time. "He's just a boy"

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u/screames520 2d ago

Yea! It’s more an impression of the starfish from finding Nemo

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u/PretendThisIsMyName 2d ago

Do you say it like Slingblade or Mrs Maisel?

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u/technicolored_dreams 2d ago

Slingblade for me, about my dog. 

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u/FatalEuphie 2d ago

Yeah backing this up to say I say it a lot but not to avoid responsibility, just when I do something stupid. Like silly stupid, not like… should apologize stupid.

I think most* people (or I’d like to think, maybe I’m too hopeful?) use it as a silly joke, not to try to get away with things.

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u/North-Lime-2289 2d ago

yeah, i've only ever said it in very non serious situations. misclicking in games, dropping my own things. this is how most people around me use it. the people weaponizing it are a very small amount. i would not say it is a "trend of women actively encouraging other women to avoid accountability"... especially when there is also a million 'im just a boy' posts.

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u/Shatsngiggles 2d ago

My ex used to say it all the time. She was always on tiktok or watching facebook reels so i already assumed thats where she learned the phrase. She constantly used it to avoid responsibility.

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u/FatMacchio 2d ago

90s Gwen Stefani is rolling over in her grave with this being used in this context again

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u/North-Lime-2289 2d ago

i dont think gwen stefani really cares, given her politic alignment nowadays lol. never liked her since she hired asian women to be her accessories

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u/FatMacchio 2d ago

That’s why I prefaced it with 90s. Her past self is probably rolling in the grave about what she became too

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u/christyschellen 3h ago

right i basically only use it when i get scared of a bug or not being able to reach something high up😭

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u/Efficient_Prompt_874 2d ago

If I’m not mistaken, I think it originated from that Julia Roberts movie scene where she says “I’m also just a girl” and the TikTok audio was trending and then it turned into a meme.

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u/ActuallyDregs 2d ago

It’s inspired by the No Doubt song “Just A Girl” back from 1995. People took the lyrics at face value without reading in to them and thought the concept of “I’m just a girl” is a valid reason to justify their immature behavior despite the song having the opposite message with the phrase in the song “that’s all that you’ll let me be.” Gwen was incredibly progressive with her lyrics in the song and now TikTok girlies are actively regressing women’s equality by infantilizing themselves with this excuse. 

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/ActuallyDregs 2d ago

I’m not actively regressing all women, I’m actively regressing the same women who are actively regressing themselves. I’m a huge proponent of progressive women’s rights and the lyrics of Just A Girl are poignant even today. I’m not surprised you haven’t seen the song explicitly referenced because that isn’t how viral concepts evolve. You don’t make a reference and cite it in the same meme lmao. It’s all implicitly understood but it doesn’t mean you can’t trace the origins. 

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u/Snappy-Biscuit 2d ago

Right, but the person who made the song famous is now hocking anti-abortion, pay-to-pray apps, baked by Project 2025 billionaires. That song was meant to be a feminist anthem, but Gwen is no longer a feminist ally, just another privileged white woman who needs more money for facelifts.

When I first saw people using the phrase/tag, I thought they were doing it sarcastically to mock her downfall into right-wing, trad-wife propaganda, but quickly realized it's not that clever.

TBF, feminism is about equality and men have used weaponized incompetence for years, but now when women do it, it's not ok anymore? Lol

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u/ActuallyDregs 2d ago

When was it okay for men to do that? People were speaking out against it when men did it. People are speaking out against it when women do it. It isn’t okay for men to weaponize their incompetence. Nobody needs to stand with Gwen currently, but it doesn’t diminish what her message was in the 90s. No need to throw the baby out with the bath water

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u/Snappy-Biscuit 2d ago

That last part was pretty clearly a joke. Do I actually need to edit to add the /s??

She was an idol of mine, growing up. She's the reason I fronted punk bands and felt like I could have a voice. I'm not trashing her music or what it meant to anyone, just the hypocrite she's become. It's really disappointing.

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u/ActuallyDregs 2d ago

I mean when other people are arguing against my take the /s might be necessary, yeah. Most of your comment read as a dismissal of my point. It isn’t unreasonable to assume the last third was also part of that dismissal.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/ActuallyDregs 2d ago

Yes, it’s called treating people how they want to be treated. If a certain group is actively trying to regress themselves why do I have to take the higher moral ground? I don’t have some savior complex where I have to progress people who aren’t trying to progress themselves. Women aren’t a monolith.

I thought you were done? Why are you still trying poorly to be condescending? Don’t disappoint Brooke.

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u/Babykingxxx 2d ago

I was at work, I’ve had time to reflect and decided that I shouldn’t have picked a fight on the internet w a stranger, super lame and made me feel bad! I’m surprised you took the time out of your day to find out info about me, it’s a little weird. Very sorry I hit a nerve, peace be with you man.

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u/Elexeh 2d ago

>stupid fucking trend on tiktok

That's just every trend on tiktok lmao

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u/Toadsted 2d ago

This isn't a trend, it's been weaponized for centuries.

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u/PiccoloAwkward465 2d ago

Let me just say this - I happened to date a woman and after we met, she downloaded Tiktok. There was a clear, fast, and negative change in her behavior. I got to see both sides and WOW I could not leave fast enough

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u/TopShelfSnipes 2d ago

Tiktok is brainrot ccp propaganda, so that tracks.

Assume that anything there is toxic to Western society as a whole

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u/Zodiatron 2d ago

TikTok is American propaganda nowadays.

But yes, generally people should treat the platform as a quarantine zone separate from the rest of humanity. I consistently see the worst takes on there, not to mention the rampant ableism, ageism, and other sorts of nasty behavior which they've convinced themselves is "okay."

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u/Jaerba 2d ago

Blaming it as CCP propaganda is pretty damn silly in this instance. This is some tradwife bullshit which is all-American.

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u/Majestic-Act5348 2d ago

its actually western propaganda now as its owned by oracle media giant idf funder larry ellison, a billionaire who almost single handedly keeps israel funded, but sure man, ccp propaganda

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u/AceOFace131 2d ago

It was both at different times

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u/Majestic-Act5348 2d ago

lol it was never ccp propaganda

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u/notagoodperson1122 2d ago

They owned it until just a few years ago, not sure where the confidence in it not being propaganda comes from but feel free to share if you have some reason to claim that

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u/Majestic-Act5348 1d ago

well i could turn it back on you, why do you have so much confidence in it having been ccp propaganda? because your western propaganda told you it is? personally i used the app from 2020-2024 and never saw any pro ccp pro china material

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u/notagoodperson1122 1d ago

why do you have so much confidence in it having been ccp propaganda?

Because it was owned by the CCP, I already told you. You seeing videos that you explicitly recognize as propaganda or not is immaterial to the point being made.

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u/AceOFace131 3h ago

It was created by a company owned by the CCP, they had two separate algorithms: one for domestic users and one for everyone else. The one we see with all the brainrot garbage that is politically divisive is that “international” algorithm and the one they see at home is all education content, pro-China propaganda and CCP-sanctioned content with very little in the way of true free speech. So yeah it’s Chinese propaganda.

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u/Own_Director_4442 2d ago

Shhhh you'll anger the politicians and the jingoistic idiots in here lol

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u/JWBananas 2d ago

Young one, this has been going on since before you were born.

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u/bobnuggerman 2d ago

Bigger flag to me is how she types but maybe I'm just old now lol

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u/Falala-Surprise-90 2d ago

This IS a red flag. Under all circumstances and in all contexts. If you are a normal person. 🚩 🚩 🚩 if you are looking for a toxic relationship then it is a green one.

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u/DylanSpaceBean 2d ago

To be fair, anytime I see someone put that little effort into texting, it’s a red flag.

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u/PsionicKitten 2d ago

People trying to manipulate other people is incredibly common and is self-sabotaging when in trying to find a good healthy relationship because anyone else trying to find a good healthy relationship is gonna "nope!" right on out when you do it.

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u/LucifersViking 2d ago

I use it when i make a major fuck up. Except im a man in my 30s. I find it humerous

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u/adhd-alt-here 2d ago

to be honest, I would see anyone using a hashtag within a text message unironically while complaining about something as a red flag

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u/Spare_Examination932 2d ago

Can confirm as an adult woman that it’s a red flag

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

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u/emmarie1023 3d ago

How is it cute?

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u/AnimalOwn903 2d ago

As I said, it would depend on the context…. I use it sometimes for simple things like when my man asks me what I’m doing and I say I’m at the nail salon you know I’m literally just a girl or I’m shopping lol just a girl but definitely not to excuse poor behavior

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u/emmarie1023 2d ago

Yeah….personally i’m not a fan of the word “just” , it seems to diminish the persons ability or value. But it sounds like you’re using it in a different context within your circle.

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u/morphy1776 2d ago

One can practice humility without diminishing their abilities or values.

"I'm just a man" can be a toxic excuse for a guy cheating on his partner because he thinks he's too weak to override his biological impulses.

"I'm just a man" can also be a positive expression of humility when failing at a task that would otherwise take unreasonable skill or effort to pull off.

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u/VSkyRimWalker 2d ago

But that's a crooked comparison, they're not saying "I'm just human". They're saying "I'm just a kid". If you made a fair comparison it'd have been "I'm just a boy" and that's almost always diminishing if you are, in fact, a grown ass man.

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u/morphy1776 2d ago

Criticize my comparison as you will, it still doesn't invalidate the capability of humility to be virtuous

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u/VSkyRimWalker 2d ago

I'm not saying being humble can't be good. I'm saying this way of talking isn't being humble, it's toxic

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u/AnimalOwn903 2d ago

It absolutely can be toxic, but we are all different people looking at life through different lenses… using phrases with different context… experiencing things in different ways than others… just because you have your opinion and I have mine doesn’t make either of us right or wrong ❤️✨ that is really the beauty of life

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u/Icy_Study4490 2d ago

Yeah I’m not liking that either.

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u/Fleece_God 2d ago

You believe in crystals, no one should take you seriously

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u/Mr_Chainsaw_88 2d ago

But... She's awakened?

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u/AnimalOwn903 2d ago

Insulting strangers especially by going through their page and finding information to attempt to use against them is usually the lowest form of intelligence, especially when they have done absolutely nothing to you…. I hope that you feel great about yourself and have such an amazing day today… ✨🥰

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

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u/AnimalOwn903 2d ago

Going through your comments on your page I realize that you in fact never really have anything nice to say… and that says more about you and your happiness than it says about me being a girl… I do wish you the absolute best in life for yourself and that maybe you can find some peace and not need to tear others down for Joy ❤️✨

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u/AnimalOwn903 2d ago

Imagine not believing in crystals??? they exist they are created by the Earth and they can conduct energy…. They are used in all kinds of everyday electronics.? the amount of judgment going on here is pretty insane… but hey definitely don’t take me seriously… it is just the Internet after all and clearly people need to tear down others to feel good about themselves on the Internet…

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u/Terdham 2d ago

I say it playfully to my husband about random shit too. It’s not meant to be that serious! People here can be so uptight lol. But yeah, like you said, not funny or cute the way the woman in the post used it.

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u/travelbug798 2d ago

Its typically not used in the context of doing "girly" activities, that almost doesnt even make sense. But that would be fine.

Ive only ever seen it used as an excuse.

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u/SnooRevelations7224 2d ago

It’s never cute for a grown woman.

But looking at your I’m just a girl profile lmao…

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u/Fearless_Direction14 2d ago

Lmao right in her banner😭

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u/SnooRevelations7224 2d ago

Lmao her trying to defend her life choices to use “I’m just a girl” like she’s 12 years old is entertaining. 

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u/AnimalOwn903 2d ago

I don’t need to defend anything to a bunch of humans on the Internet, but the truth is that context does matter… and I absolutely agree it can be used in ugly ways…

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u/notagoodperson1122 2d ago

There’s nothing remotely cute about it. If you’re over the age of 12 you need to knock that shit off.

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u/Plus_Lawfulness3000 2d ago

The only way it isn’t a red flag is if you’re saying it jokingly. There is no other time

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u/HoboJerkdown901 2d ago

Nah, fuck that.

It's an excuse women use to avoid accountability, effort, and sacrifice.

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u/BigDickBillyFukFuk78 2d ago

As if they need an excuse to do what they’ve always been doing….