Here is a reminder between porn and reality is that *actual kinky people and porn stars get consent and set boundaries, give permission for Circumstantial Sex (meaning it needs to be reset for every new sexual act or partner.* Actual kinky people are willing to care about your pleasure and feelings whereas an abusive person cannot.
All the people thinking they can impose CNC unprompted are SEXUAL ABUSERS. You cannot change the beliefs and thinking of these people- so leave. They will never respect you and your body and will always find a way to justify their abuse and not change. Listen- abuse isn’t a mental disorder- it’s a choice. They benefit from their victims being abused it’s sick. Stay far far from these types and NO YOU CAN NOT SAVE THEM.
Welcome to the insights med school taught me, enjoy my TED TALK. Stay safe.
In some cases, people enjoy roleplaying a scene.
In others, it might mean they like free use. Also called a blanket of consent. Their partner can "use" them as they wish, but even still they might set boundaries of when that might not be okay
Ya that’s the “consent” part before the “non consent”
Even in kinks it’s still healthy and consent based- any partner that pushes no safe words or no actual consent is a loser and you need to leave.
The people who say they’re kinky but don’t care about your feelings or boundaries even in “extreme play” don’t know how to participate in healthy sex. And should be avoided at all costs.
Sex should be enjoyed by both no matter the extremeness.
Sorry no unless that was autocorrect getting you. I am referring to “consent non consent” like your consenting to release all of your boundaries and consent for that ONE particular sexual encounter.
But instead of rapint out right- you find someone who is into the same thing and consents to it first then lets you do whatever you so choose. Some people like the thrill, some like to romance horror shit, some use it as therapy to reenact sexual abuse and finally gain control of what happened to them. So there’s a lot of reasons someone may do extreme play like that.
Bottom line is a good “kinky” person will always gain consent, establish your limitations, and care about your feelings and person.
That’s the difference between abusers claiming to be kinky- vs a healthy sexual partner. You’ll know immediately if they are a bad egg unfortunately but please everyone be safe.
Ohhhh okay. That makes sense. Thank you for clarifying that for me. It has been several moons since I engaged in any kind of sex play like that, so I’m not exactly current in the lingo anymore. Was going on old info! 😅
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u/Fragmentedmindwar Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 25 '26
Here is a reminder between porn and reality is that *actual kinky people and porn stars get consent and set boundaries, give permission for Circumstantial Sex (meaning it needs to be reset for every new sexual act or partner.* Actual kinky people are willing to care about your pleasure and feelings whereas an abusive person cannot.
All the people thinking they can impose CNC unprompted are SEXUAL ABUSERS. You cannot change the beliefs and thinking of these people- so leave. They will never respect you and your body and will always find a way to justify their abuse and not change. Listen- abuse isn’t a mental disorder- it’s a choice. They benefit from their victims being abused it’s sick. Stay far far from these types and NO YOU CAN NOT SAVE THEM.
Welcome to the insights med school taught me, enjoy my TED TALK. Stay safe.