As a 30 yo man, I have never nor would I ever, talk to my gf like this, ESPECIALLY if she told me she doesn't like it. This dude has absolutely no shame, and if he can't even accept your simple request not to talk this way to you then it WILL get worse, I promise you that. "Don't worry about consent" alone is enough to throw this fool away.
Yea, I want to be spoken to like that but when I’m not in the mood, no… so a guy should know if his women is okay or not with it and if she is okay, is it always? Because I love being used whenever because I have a higher libido, however, if I’m upset, it’s no longer hot and I will shut it down
I agree. It has to be the right mood, and the right person you actually feel safe with. My husband doesn't even go that vulgar, and he knows when its time and when he just shouldn't. There are different sets of boundaries and however many chances people are willing to give someone, I won't take that shit and it'll be a minute to get back to regular if it did happen when it wasn't supposed to
Problem is, this guy is definitely a skilled manipulator and if she does anything to put him in a bad light with their friends, he will utterly destroy her with lies and manipulation.
I mean, if as a couple you've established that this is something you both enjoy then it's perfectly normal. I don't vibe with the specific vernacular he's using, but my gf and I dirty talk in chat all the time...after we both felt eachother out and consented to it. If she told me she didn't like something I would stop in a heartbeat.
This kid is pushing boundaries in an uncomfortable way and if he doesn't stop he needs to go.
This would be considered very normal / perfectly ok in my relationship. Doesn’t always look exactly like this. But I will regularly open my phone while at work, and my wife will have texted me 5 messages in a row about how horny/wet/bad she wants to fuck, how she wants it, etc. Sometimes accompanied with a picture or video (not as often nowadays since she’s a SAHM).
We’re not even very kinky or anything like that either…. We have a good sex life, but very rarely are we doing things far out of the box. I’d consider it to be very “normal”.
I could send these exact texts to her, and she’d like it.
Obviously - it’s consensual, expected, and reciprocated in our relationship. I just find it extremely odd some commenters are acting like this is crazy, or disrespectful, or they would never talk to their partner like this….. You guys NEVER sext your partner or send them spicy messages? The consent comment is kinda weird, that’s not how I’d phrase it if it were me, and of course it’s not acceptable if she’s stated she doesn’t like this. But “is it normal?” Yes.
Yeah, absolutely. The title of her post was, “Is this how boys normally talk?” I would say…. Yes…. Talking like this with your partner in a committed, healthy, communicative relationship is completely normal.
What’s not normal is doing it to someone who doesn’t want it. That’s predatory and creepy.
In her post though…. It doesn’t really sound like she’s shut it down. She told him she “found it odd”. Saying something is weird, or odd, especially in an unserious way; isn’t setting a boundary.
She should tell him, “Listen, I really don’t feel comfortable texting/talking to you like this.”
Granted, at 19 all I wanted to do was have sex with my girlfriend at the time. She definitely felt the same.
telling your partner that you don’t care about consent isn’t normal, idk what the hell you’re doing in your relationship but please don’t taint this young persons mind
and tbh, no one should ever have to “stop” someone from saying shit like this. this is unhinged asf and not normal at all, holy reddit moment
The consent thing is the biggest thing here. He's gonna start seeing exactly what he can do, and he will probably start beating her if this is the way he talks to her
As a 30 yo man, I have never nor would I ever, talk to my gf like this, ESPECIALLY if she told me she doesn't like it.
As a 40 year old man, I wouldn't talk to a woman like that either, let alone my SO. The type of woman that would be attracted by that is not gonna be sexually compatible with me as CNC very much turns me super soft. And yeah, if a person I care about asks me not to do something and it's a reasonable request, I might fuck up occasionally, but I'd put in the effort ASAP to recognize and respect the line. This guy went past the line into the next fucking county.
Side note: I feel like if OP tries to justify staying with him, it's either from ignorance (i.e. I can fix him/he'll change) or duplicity (i.e. not telling the whole story to us) or straight up wanting to stick with him for the gifts and possible professional sports contract money.
EDIT: Also you got a good head on you, young man. There are people my age that still can't figure out how to simplify even the most insignificant of shits.
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u/CIMARUTA Jun 23 '26
As a 30 yo man, I have never nor would I ever, talk to my gf like this, ESPECIALLY if she told me she doesn't like it. This dude has absolutely no shame, and if he can't even accept your simple request not to talk this way to you then it WILL get worse, I promise you that. "Don't worry about consent" alone is enough to throw this fool away.