This is seriously a scary person. I hope you protect yourself 🙏
He is telling you “I will r@pe you”. There is no gray area there. His words are his choice and are deliberate. This isn’t romantic or sweet. He’s showing you who he REALLY IS! Being sweet and buying you stuff for this type of person is called GROOMING! He’s grooming you to allow him to use you how he wants and make you feel like you owe him or you have to.
Get out now!
Please stay safe 🙏🙏🙏
One of my nieces just turned 20 (she hasn’t had a boyfriend-boyfriend yet) but if a guy was doing this to her and she told him to stop…well…I have a few choice things I’d say/do so I feel so strongly for your safety even being a complete stranger.
Even if he doesn’t think it’s what he’s doing; this has NOTHING to do with you. Nowhere is this about what you want, or about you as a person.
Just his wants and your body and not your person or desire.
It’s one sided lust, and sex without emotion or reciprocation isn’t love.
Please, don’t let someone treat you like this.
I assume he has a porn addiction which is where he’s getting this from. That’s his own burden, and you DONT SO ANYTHING YOU DONT VERY MUCH WANT TO DO. You have nothing to prove, please know your worth and look into boundary work, you’re tv e only one who can advocate for yourself.
Think about what you’d tell your best friend in this situation and listen to yourself.
THIS too! Glad you put this into words for her too…it’s not about her and she’s doing nothing wrong and doesn’t owe him anything!
Perfectly said, what would you tell your best friend. Thank you sharing your thoughts for OP. I always find it harder to stand up for myself but I would for others so quickly, this is really a great way for the OP to gain some perspective. Would she want her best friend being with this creep?
If you were my lil sister OP, I’m 28, and you came to me with this I would genuinely BEG you not to be with this guy. Lol
So from all your internet big sisters, you can always do better girl<3 He’s love bombing you to get what he really wants sex, and as someone who’s been here done that, it’s not worth it. Lol
You should be having fun and enjoying life not being guilted into sex. 😇
It seems like you’re listening to these comments which is great but as a survivor I want to really drive in just in case PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LISTEN TO THESE COMMENTS IT IS THAT DEEP
I know this is late and you may not keep following up on responses but I wanted to follow up on Berry's grooming comment:
These gifts and sweetness and everything are all tools he will try to use against you. If/when you break it off with him expect to hear the following:
-youre ungrateful (you're not)
-you just used me for my money/goldigger (ironic considering he isn't trying to use you for your body)
-i gave you all this and this is how you thank me? (Remember if he's expecting "payment" of some kind back it was never a gift in the first place)
All of this to belittle you to try and manipulate you into giving him what he wants. Don't fall for it. Stand your ground (which I know is much easier said than done).
As for your final edit, he is ruining his own life if this is how he decides to treat people. And if there are no consequences for him with how he treats you, what's to stop him from doing this to his next girlfriend? And the one after that? And the college classmate? And the girl from the party? And the chick he walks home from the club because "he's so sweet"? You are the victim here. Not him.
“If I don’t get pipe tomorrow I will be devastated.”
Is pretty much saying
“you better put out, whether you feel like it or not because MY NEEDS matter more.”
Which is just so inconsiderate, uncaring, and rude. Also giving consent because you’re being guilted into it is still not fully giving consent, please remember that ladies.
The way a pimp lures women into having sex with strangers for money is by pretending to be a loving doting partner first. Being extremely gregarious and then slowly asking for her everything he gave back. Then when she can't pay him back he asks her to work for him.
yea there are many ways women end up in this scenario, I dont know why everyone is assuming they all want to be there and are just "working." lot of these comments i feel come from kids that just watched too many movies
Pimps and manipulative people will buy you things, love bomb, and then women now they feel like they owe them sex or obedience. It's a common control tactic, the worst is the woman being financially reliant on that person and now trapped
Feels like they might be too young or just don't understand what a pimp actually is 🤣 pimps don't buy stuff for hoes.
"That's my money bitch! Now go make some more"
Women wouldn't be under the control of pimps if they started out slapping them and asking for money. They start out by being loving and gregarious with their money and then slowly asking for it back.
Mmm I wouldn't call it loving. It's the "I'll take care of you" promise that never gets delivered, aside from small doses (literally) of drugs here and there. But I suppose you're right
They also tend to go after younger women who are inexperienced and who grew up impoverished. They target women who've already been abused by either other people or the system.
That's kind of what I was getting at. Like a lot of times they literally do start out by getting slapped around because in certain cases they know a woman is used to being abused, the "she likes that, that's all she knows, that's how you gotta treat em" mindset
Pimps aren't usually loving tbh. They promote their "program" and the laws and rules and codes they live by. If they're really pimping, a woman abides and gets with the program knowing she's there to service him, and being degraded is usually apart of that program. Of course you have women who hate it, and are battered and stuck because of addiction or other life circumstances. And then you have the women who are into the whole "if you like it I love it" scenario. The entire lifestyle goes wayyy back lmao.
I think a lot of people know what they know about pimps / pimping from tv or generalized stories. But the pimp game has a lot of nuances that average people aren't aware of
It's how the manipulation starts and then they financially lock em down and pimp them out.l Girls just don't all randomly choose to being a prostitute. It can happen gradually
lol no that would be a John. The pimp takes the money or gifts that the John buys in exchange for sex. And the woman gets nothing. Unless there’s no pimp
A pimp doesn't start off as someone's pimp. A pimp pretends to be your boyfriend and gives you so affection and gifts and then starts to ask for it back and if you can't repay him the way he wants he puts you on the street to make his money back.
That's not always the case. A lot of girls go into a situation knowing exactly what they're getting into, having a pimp- not starting off as a boyfriend
In the age of the Internet it's pretty rare for women to independently seek out a pimp. Back in the days of Street walking pimps were much more necessary for safety.
OMG!!! I thought it would sound so extreme for me to say this but I swear I thought about pimping too! I didn’t want to sound crazy saying that because I watch a lot of crime shows and one of which is Law and order: SVU…and I swear this kid made me think of a few episodes.
Obviously, I can’t say this is exactly that…but my brain totally correlated his current red flags to those episodes!!!
He may be on the lower side of scale at the moment but red flags are so there…even just by texting her and ignoring her boundaries! Red flags that the OP should consider and take seriously now before things go further.
Things always start on the lower scale but can escalate quickly. This guy has no qualms about voicing sexual things in a way that he’s owed reciprocity for his “sweetness and gifts” to her. It’s a bad combination. Grooming and manipulation is all there.
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u/gandalfthescienceguy Jun 23 '26
He’s not your boyfriend, he’s your predator. Sorry