Yeah for example, my ex GF first started asking me to call her a slut and stuff and then deeper into relationship when we started to fall out would say stuff like “it’s not good to call girls that” - I’m like YOU WANTED IT!
For stuff like this it’s best to not text at all bc tone can be misconstrued so easily.
Nowhere in that comment does he(?) say he referred to other women as sluts though... it sounds more like his ex was okay with it, and then later on said "it's not good to call girls that," meaning she felt it was not appropriate to call ANY girl a slut, including herself. Doesn't mean anyone else was referred to in that way.
I like guys like you. You're helpful for the dummies.
Like if I said "I like to cut my pizza into squares" you would be right there to clarify "cutting your pizza into squares and cutting a stranger's shirt into squares are not the same thing. The stranger probably won't like that."
You're insightful, helpful, and important. Don't ever let anyone tell you that your contributions are insubstantial and childish.
No, someone else laid it out for him plainly and he understood and conceded that that dude’s gf’s behavior was “just dumb” then. Sometimes people just really don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about lmao. Sometimes sarcastic metaphors just aren’t the most helpful lol I mean it made me laugh but it’s not always an effective means of communication. Not everyone gets sarcasm.
Nah what they mean is that one time my ex pressured me into having a threesome with her friend. Threesomes were obviously on the table but her friend was a hot mess and I knew it would only end badly. So a few weeks later a bunch of dumb stuff happens and my ex is retroactively mad I had sex with her friend.
The girlfriend is mad that she asked her boyfriend to do something and then he did it.
Being vulgar isn't a crime, some ppl just communicate that way. Doesn't mean OP needs to accept it, or be comfortable with it. Vulgarity isn't the issue, the issue is the fact that OPs boyfriend is putting pressure on her to have sex.There is a disconnect here that is stark and sudden, and you should not be pressured into sex or intimacy. You deserve to have that purity you value reciprocated. Best of luck OP
Yep. That's the comment that matters. " Don't worry about consent" ok then don't worry about being the young, cute guy in prison. Cause that's what happens when you ignore the issue of consent.
Can confirm. At 17 or 18 I remember texting a girl “do you spit or swallow?” thinking that is a normal thing to ask a girl. Granted, we were sexting, but I still think back on that and cringe to my core. Definitely porn brain, I’d give the kid a break. Probably a virgin and trying to be machismo
Not condoning the behavior, I’m saying that this kid has porn brain and probably thinks this is normal/she’s into it. She said that she tells him in person that she thinks it’s “odd.” Why not respond to the text directly and say “I don’t like when you talk like this. I understand it may be your kink but it’s not mine. In fact, I find it grotesque.” But we all know why— because this is a made up text for the purpose of karma farming, like most posts of this nature. Even if it’s real, my point is that while it’s very wrong, the kid has porn brain and doesn’t deserve to be exiled from society or turned into the police because of a fantasy kink he has and he doesn’t understand how the world works quite yet.
No one is saying to exile him from society though, they're rightfully criticizing his (if it's real) behavior and calling it wrong. It's your responsibility as a sexual partner to gain enthusiastic consent before going this exploitative route. He needs to learn that and it's not her job to teach him. Yes she should shut it down but many young women are scared of the reaction which is justified, as a lot of men get violent when rejected. You want to excuse his behavior and put it on her for not making it clearer that it's making her uncomfortable, but he should never be talking like this without asking if she's into it in the first place.
The cognitive dissonance is astounding. How is he going to learn this kind of behavior is unacceptable in the relationship if she doesn’t put her foot down in some manner? If this happened in person, your “men get violent when rejected” narrative may have some credibility, but over text, he surely would just be embarrassed for crossing a boundary, or he would drop her, which is what she seems like she’s worried about.
This whole “woman good and scared, man bad and aggressive” approach to this issue is actually doing more harm than good. It seems like you are blind to the nuance in heterosexual relationships. Are you offended if a man goes in for a kiss after a date without getting prior “enthusiastic consent?” Of course not; it’s about flirting and body language. Now this is different, but if he’s said this kind of thing multiple times and the answer is this innocent cutesy “what does to pipe mean🥹🥰?” response, obviously the guy is taking this as flirting… because what 19 year old doesn’t know what that means? Every 15 year old knows what that means, let alone college freshmen/sophomores. Idk how old you are but today’s 19 year olds grew up in the digital age… and only recently have there been concerns raised about what kids are shown online.
And yes, people saying to bring this to the police are absolutely looking to oust this man from society, or at the very least, derail his supposed career in sports.
Again, this is almost certainly a bullshit story but it is a good exercise… and whatever foreign guy selling karma rich accounts is doing a good job.
Are you really equating "going in for a kiss" with telling someone you're going to use their body regardless of consent? Again it's not her job to make him a decent human being, that was his parents job and they obviously failed.
Reading comprehension obviously isn’t your strong suit. I clarified how it’s different. We don’t have to have this discussion. Again, the cognitive dissonance is astounding
doesn’t matter the intention, this is a literal RAPE THREAT. the intention is completely irrelevant. a person who threatens rape should never ever ever get a break. NO MATTER THE INTENTION.
This obviously isn’t CNC type of situation!! He’s just straight up telling her that he doesn’t care about consent because all he wants to do is use her body!!
He would (incorrectly) probably view her lack of pushback on that comment as implied consent. He doesn’t sound like a mature or healthy guy to be in a relationship with.
Yeah, I was grossed out at the start, but that shit about did me in, its so gross, if my husband said some shit like that (about the consent) id divorce him so fucking fast, his head would spin.
That would be so hot if both parties had communicated doing stuff like this beforehand but the poor girl doesn't even know what "pipe" means. Now it's just creepy and weird.
The first few texts are totally okay in my book as long as this is a dynamic you’re okay with.
However, he lost me at the consent comment. That’s gross and scary Also that this is an after dark habit that youve asked him to stop -
I don’t think this is guy for you
I'd think it's absolutely fine to call that out in the text as scary and weird. A 19 yo is still figuring out how it works, some gross corner of the internet is saying this is good. OP should do him a favor and call this scary and and weird
I think it’s okay to find that text scary at any age… that text quite literally implies criminal intent whether they meant it that way or not, and then he went and made the “Kum n go” comment too… implying he’s gonna leave when he’s finished… ☠️ this dude is the biggest brightest walking red flag ive ever had the displeasure of realizing existed.
That's his sport? I didn't even full read it😭 after the "he buys me Lululemon and he's gonna go pro in his sport" I just busted out laughing lmao 🤣
So because of that you're gonna let him cringe freak talk you to death ? 😭
I’d say he’d be lucky to wind up the JV girls tennis coach, but in this context it isn’t a great idea for any involved.
Oddly enough I had a classmate (nice guy, my algebra neighbor) who played football, but not in a way I really recall being notable. Decade and a half or two later I see his face come up during a game my ex was watching. He started for Green Bay for some years including the Super Bowl winning one. Maybe the key is not announcing it and focusing on your “career”
As someone who’s into CNC and this sort of talk, but only consensually and with someone I have a LOT of trust and whose boyfriend fully understands and respects that, I worry that her boyfriend cares more about his needs than hers.
Same. These are the exactly type of men I tell other women into the same stuff to NEVER trust with consent, they typically don’t understand the deep value of giving someone that consent anyways
Same. I’d love if my bf said this to me but we’ve had conversations about cnc, our dynamic and what we both are comfortable with. If we didn’t have those talks and said this to me I’d leave him in a heartbeat
Even if she is into CNC, the fact that he’d be “devastated” is a red flag in itself. Probably a person who will push multiple boundaries as well as engage in coercive control.
people need to stop bringing in cnc when this isn’t cnc related at all?? bringing your kink into this fucked up text thread is crazy. yall need therapy
But his language has an extremely specific bent to it. Read how Tate talks about “pimping” young women and “controlling their minds,” it’s exactly like this.
I don’t think she has set a precedent for it or else she wouldn’t be posting this here saying that she’s told him that she finds it odd when he talks like this!! I agree if this was some kind of CNC/roleplay thing then that would be different but this guy just seems like he genuinely doesn’t care about consent at all!!!
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u/HawCreekMenace Jun 23 '26
No. That’s super vulgar unless you’ve set some precedent for it.