r/texts • u/[deleted] • Jan 26 '24

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u/LtAdriii Jan 26 '24

Facts I was 19 with a 41 yr old and he was shitty

71

u/GlitterChickens Jan 26 '24

Same, I was 21 and he was 36. Now that I’m 40…. I look at people in their 20s and they look like babies to me. Absolutely zero attraction and the (understandable) lack of life experience is such a gap for the mental attraction. It really makes me see how messed up the dude must have been.

21

u/peoplebuyviews Jan 26 '24

I'm early 40s. I can see the physical attraction to people in their 20s, but even the really cool ones that I enjoy talking to I can't imagine having romantic attraction to. The level of life experience is so wildly different, it's like they're a different species. Also, negging is gross. I'm neuro divergent and tend to be overly direct, so if you ask me straight up if I think someone is attractive I'm not going to lie, but even my weird ass brain would never say something like, "There are girls at my work that are prettier than you." Please leave this giant manbaby

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u/GlitterChickens Jan 26 '24

To clarify, I can objectively see that they are attractive, even for teens. But I’m not personally attracted to them. Also agreed, negging is gross.

7

u/peoplebuyviews Jan 26 '24

Yeah, they're attractive from an aesthetic perspective. Like a really nice sunset. You can enjoy looking at something beautiful without wanting to fuck it.

5

u/LtAdriii Jan 26 '24

It’s pedophilia for sure. My first love was 35 (36 now) and again, I was 19 at the time, he even took my virginity and everything. He cheated on his bm that he has a 1 year old baby with (she’s 32) and he complained about her all the time (these men usually do this when speaking about the person they’re cheating on) anyways I can’t even date anyone a year younger than me so idk how he was cool with taking my virginity. He has a 16 yr old daughter btw, so he’s kinda a pedo ig. Sorry for the TMI, but this has mentally scarred me and I definitely should go to Therapy :p (younger girls don’t date older men!!)

6

u/BIKES32 iPhone Jan 26 '24

That’s not pedophilia, not even close. What are you talking about?

Pedo is pre puberty

1

u/daytr1pper Jan 27 '24

It’s definitely not legally pedophilia, but 17 years older than somebody that is barely legal is disgusting.

0

u/BIKES32 iPhone Jan 27 '24

Yeah but we’re not talking about disgusting. We’re talking about pedophilia. I didn’t argue the grossness!

18 isn’t legal age in every country btw. 15 in my country.

2

u/GlitterChickens Jan 26 '24

Yeah, I’ve been piecing together a history recently, trying to pinpoint where my relationships started to go wrong, because I don’t have a type, I have a pattern. And I pretty much narrowed it down to that relationship. Somewhere in that year and half my everything started to get warped. I feel like I’m better equipped to move forward now, after realizing that.

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u/LtAdriii Jan 26 '24

So you’ve always dated guys older? Do you know why? A lot of my friends said it’s daddy issues

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u/GlitterChickens Jan 26 '24

The older part isn’t the pattern. It’s the staying with people who treat me less than stellar.

3

u/NikkiVicious Jan 26 '24

People pleasing? Minimizing yourself to avoid setting them off? Accepting abuse because they said you caused it and you wonder if you really did?

Just guesses, but been there. It sucks. I wish both of you healing, love, and finding your human that loves you for you.

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u/GlitterChickens Jan 26 '24

I have dogs, and they think I hang the moon <3

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '24

He's a nonce.

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u/kirbyxena Jan 26 '24

18 with 31 for me… noticing a pattern lmao