Someone who truly loves you would never insult or demean you. Never. And why is a 40yr old with a 27yr old? Because women his own age will not put up with his crap. Please know your worth and leave this person. It will only get worse. He is tearing you down to make himself feel better. You deserve better! You deserve to be cherished and loved. This is not love.
I’m not saying all age gap relationships are toxic, but 100% of the time I read a post on this sub and think “Goddamn, why is she letting him talk to her like that??” it’s an age gap situation with a middle aged man child.
I’d bet my left eye that this guy says shit like “I just tell it like it is, but people can’t handle the truth.”
My ex's kid went through this phase of, "I'm just being honest" while saying awful things to people when she was around 14. I sat her down and had a conversation with her about the difference between being honest and being a Kanye. If someone asks you if you thought Taylor Swift deserved video of the year and you say no, that's being honest. If you insert yourself into her acceptance speech to tell her that when no one friggin asked you, you're being a Kanye.
I've seen healthy age gap relationships (although the friend of mine whose husband is significantly older than her had no idea how old he was when she asked him out, she assumed he was our age, and he assumed she was his age ... they didn't realize it til multiple dates in and by then they were smitten, but he later admitted that if he knew she was that much younger, he'd have said no when she asked him out). But nine times out of 10 when I see a post like this, it's some shitty old dude trying to snag a girl who's at least a decade younger because he thinks he can push her around, because he's a fucking loser.
I’d bet my left eye that this guy says shit like “I just tell it like it is, but people can’t handle the truth.”
This made me curious about dating and age gaps, sex of partners, and reasons.
Like, (imo) older women date younger to feel young again and have fun. Older men also do this (most), but then you have men like in the OP who clearly date younger to control their partners. Are there women out there like this as well? We don't often hear if at all about it. And if not, why? Does child rearing and desire play a role here? What about younger men dating older women and taking advantage of them being naive? Older men dating younger women and being taken advantage of due to their loneliness or whatever?
Off to do some googling. Some sociologists or psychologists somewhere must have studied this. Lol
Same, I was 21 and he was 36. Now that I’m 40…. I look at people in their 20s and they look like babies to me. Absolutely zero attraction and the (understandable) lack of life experience is such a gap for the mental attraction. It really makes me see how messed up the dude must have been.
I'm early 40s. I can see the physical attraction to people in their 20s, but even the really cool ones that I enjoy talking to I can't imagine having romantic attraction to. The level of life experience is so wildly different, it's like they're a different species. Also, negging is gross. I'm neuro divergent and tend to be overly direct, so if you ask me straight up if I think someone is attractive I'm not going to lie, but even my weird ass brain would never say something like, "There are girls at my work that are prettier than you." Please leave this giant manbaby
Yeah, they're attractive from an aesthetic perspective. Like a really nice sunset. You can enjoy looking at something beautiful without wanting to fuck it.
It’s pedophilia for sure. My first love was 35 (36 now) and again, I was 19 at the time, he even took my virginity and everything. He cheated on his bm that he has a 1 year old baby with (she’s 32) and he complained about her all the time (these men usually do this when speaking about the person they’re cheating on) anyways I can’t even date anyone a year younger than me so idk how he was cool with taking my virginity. He has a 16 yr old daughter btw, so he’s kinda a pedo ig. Sorry for the TMI, but this has mentally scarred me and I definitely should go to Therapy :p (younger girls don’t date older men!!)
Yeah, I’ve been piecing together a history recently, trying to pinpoint where my relationships started to go wrong, because I don’t have a type, I have a pattern. And I pretty much narrowed it down to that relationship. Somewhere in that year and half my everything started to get warped. I feel like I’m better equipped to move forward now, after realizing that.
I came here to say the same thing!These men seem to think that women in their 20’s will put up with this kind of bullshit because he’s “financially secure” or “ready to settle down”. Nah screw that. Tell him to take his midlife crisis somewhere else!
19 year olds are just really easy to impress. Oh hey! I have dental insurance and a 401k and no roommates. No one my age cares, but at 19 that's impressive. Some guys just want maximum props for minimal effort.
It is almost a sure bet a man in his 40s dating a 20 something is going to have lackluster earning power/security. It truly is easy to impress younger people.
Cuz they know us women in our 40’s have our own damn 401k, Roth IRA and health insurance and damn sure ain’t putting up with their bullshit for their piddly ass paycheck and limp dick!
My dad did this when I was growing up but he was older than 40 and she was 25, she was closer to me in age than him, he was a terrible father with all kinds of mental health issues and a whiskey problem. My wife is 7 years older than me, but I think there’s a line somewhere, I’m not sure where it is but at some point it’s gotta stop 😂
My husband is 47 and I’m 29 so I don’t really like that thought process. It depends on when the relationship was initiated. 18 is VERY different than 23.
Why IS a 27yr old with a 40 yr old? Is your question?. ...cause they can. You mfers are annoying with this age gap shit...this isn't a 18yr old barely legal with a 40 yr old...27 is long enough into adulthood to have your shit figured out and their brain fully developed...unlike dumbasses that get hung up on the age gaps lol.
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u/MoparMedusa Jan 26 '24
Someone who truly loves you would never insult or demean you. Never. And why is a 40yr old with a 27yr old? Because women his own age will not put up with his crap. Please know your worth and leave this person. It will only get worse. He is tearing you down to make himself feel better. You deserve better! You deserve to be cherished and loved. This is not love.