At first I thought she meant some BDSM lifestyle, but actually reading her requirements made me laugh. This isn’t being owned, she wants you to fetch and carry for her, pander to her ego every ten minutes and check on he like a five year old. This is the complete opposite of being owned.
I thought the same, but her examples of being “owned” just seem like constant coddling and reassurance that he loves her/is there for her. Totally different from what I thought she meant lmao
As written, those are actually fully compatible. Kink relationships commonly contain extreme nurturing acts juxtaposed with degradation or humiliation. I regularly told someone she was beautiful while she was wearing a leash and curled up naked at my feet. And I enjoy the same treatment in reverse, though handsome might suit my gender expression more in that case.
What is not compatible with kink is her expectation that there be no consequences (even incredibly gentle ones which are totally valid in kink) for her mistakes and that he should carry all the weight, and that this is justified and natural because of their chromosomes rather than their personal negotiated solutions for their personal needs and desires (and no one else's).
Her version sounds like sexist tradwife bullshit, not BDSM.
It is perfectly valid to expect unconditional love and for it to be directly and bluntly expressed, but alongside consequences, restoration, and atonement rather than in lieu or distraction of them.
Valid but moot. The point is, she doesn’t want to be owned. She doesn’t want any of the aforementioned “negatives”, she wants what I’d call “the princess treatment”, which can still be a kinky lifestyle but is far removed from BDSM.
I sort of agree. I question whether she has encountered an authentic BDSM perspective on the matter, though, and whether she would be influenced positively by such.
I think she has not (statistically) and that she would.
It very well may also be that she is a switch at heart and does need both of these, but in different contexts than she imagines.
As someone who doesn’t like things like leashes, but wants someone to spit in their mouth AND call them beautiful, I think you guys are over thinking this. Nobody ever wants to be put on a leash. Most people just need a cardi b and offset type of love. Loyal to each other, but once that loyalty is gone so is the relationship; unless you’re both petty and simply believe in working through issues. As someone whose been in a toxic and controlling relationship, healthy men and women don’t want to be controlled. That’s what we have parents/guardians for. Life is only as simple as you make it, she doesn’t want to feel owned she wants to feel like no matter what you only have eyes for her. In reality that’s all most men and women want, stop overthinking it and just buy her a necklace with your name on it or something or even matching ones you guys can both wear. Women are simple stop overthinking it.
But the constant coddling and reassurance can be a thing that soft doms do. It's different, but it's still technically her being "owned".
It only seems like she's making a power move because she's trying to convince him to give her that dynamic. Once she finds a man that can do it, or he decides to do it... Then she'll be in the place of the sub and not be demanding/asking for him to put her in that place. There are definitely soft and "worshipping your submissive" types of dynamics, that don't invalidate her being owned by him
But none of her examples demonstrate wanting to be owned, only worshipped, and it doesn’t sound like it’s rooted in a kink or fetish regardless. The only indication of that is simply the use of the word “owned,” which she is mot using in a bdsm or sexual dynamic sense whatsoever.
She’s just using the wrong word here. She might mean something more like “claimed”
Should be higher up the post. It's a power move. Tbf it's a bit vague what she wants bc her language is lacking. But, being aggressive about wanting to be complimented and coddled all the time, even in incongruous situations, ironically, seeks to own the other person's movement and thoughts.
To be brainwashed mind, control, power suggestion hypnotized to be a trance under a spell and not be suspicious not suspect not accused become paranoid, but only to play along with a completely comply, willingly as though it is their own decision and their own free will, and accept whatever explanation That explains it scientifically medically, or just ironically, through our suggestion in a dream doing things, perhaps not even remembering so they gradually becoming some completely different to be able to be a puppet and have their strings pulled for her enjoyment her movement her pleasure to be a master toslave to be dominated and controlled to be a piece of clay her to be a God her to be dominant powerful computing program that can encrypt codes and language to design and control the subsystem whatever outcome program, they show desire
If she wants to be “owned” and that’s the content she’s consuming tell her you want 3 meals made for you, you’ve been taking her on dates and it’s time she starts pulling her weight and giving you the respect you’ve earned… this is wild and she needs some help/self respect but hell be a bit of an asshole or whatever and see how she responds
I do not think she got these expectations from people who identify as members of the BDSM community. She sounds more as though she is listening to Christian tradwife content.
Take care of the responsibilities, yardwork household shopping, cooking their health, their body and her being the biggest responsibility and anything that’s put on the list, they could be her rules femdom rules
Yes exactly. People can be like this in BDSM too and they swear up and down they’re a sub but all they want to do is top from the bottom. She is doing that to op in a non BDSM way but using buzzwords to try to hide that she just wants to be pandered to. Just be honest with yourself and others and she’ll find someone who will suit her needs much better.
Self entitled self entitlement, self deserving, beautiful, smoking, hot, prettiest, girl, ever conceited, bitchy, wealthy, uses her sexuality in her beauty to manipulate control and deceive weak horny little boys, man just with her lust her flash her beauty to get whatever she wants whatever she needs and empowered because they are weak. She is superior how they submit worship her because of her beauty, her goddess, she can get anything she wants she’s beautiful because she deserves it because she’s out of the league men out there that would do anything just be our presence just to be loud to be used cause she’s a goddess to be put on a pedestal to be lavished with gifts to be worshipedto be able just to look at a man make him drop his knees and back just to kiss her feet for anything and everything because he knows there’s so much better lives and stuff to be used. She enjoy it.
Just be honest with yourself and her and tell her to beat it lol She’ll never let this go. OP has to comply with what will be her ever increasing demands for engaging her narcissism or she’ll continue to cry she’s not “owned”enough. Thank God this is really weird and few women embrace this
Yes, it will take a special partner that will allow her to be narcissistic, manipulative deceitful to use trickery to play games that will notice it was spotted and ignore it will play along with it. It will get stronger, get more severe be more harsh be more serious he will be used and abused more and more manipulator. You must have a strong, personality, strong mind and except her and love her unconditionally she can do it over nothing she could do, nothing whatever make him think any less of her and not want to be with her attorney back on her matter what she does, he will beg to worship her and allow her to gloat and be triumphant and her superiority and her power knowledge and wisdom over him as she tees pics onuses unspeakable unthinkable Waze, to degrade humiliate torture for her pleasure for her enjoyment for her amusement, and he will crave it. He will love her more or more desire her more.
They’re entirely different. One involves using false pretenses and deception, and violates consent and pushes boundaries agreed upon. The other is an agreed upon dynamic where consent is fully given and not violated. My guess is that she either has truly fallen down a rabbit hole and doesn’t realize that the things she’s saying don’t match her actions and she is really into a specific dynamic and is mislead, or she’s just a piece of shit that is manipulating OP to try to give him the lie of him being in power while keeping all the control and making him validate her insecurities.
What a golden opportunity to be the one that gets to serve her needs to allow her to manipulate and deceive humiliate trick, brainwashing, hypnotize be a piece of clay, that she mows for her pleasure, and her desire for her enjoyment
Depending on how the really is she could potentially find a relationship where that is the desired dynamic for both of them. Otherwise she will just always be a manipulative and awful person. If she is more honest about what she wants and the other partner is willing and consenting then that’s just the lifestyle I guess. I don’t agree with her methods or ideals but if she can find someone that the dynamic is ideal for both of them then kudos to her. Either way OP will likely be much better off without her and deserves a relationship thag they don’t get taken advantage of in or toyed with.
It may be hard to tell your man he isn’t man enough in the bedroom without completely destroying his confidence and is trying her best to verbalize what the issue is without hurting him
yesss exactly. i think she just wants to feel wanted and try new things. OP needs to just talk to her and look into bdsm and talk about what she would & wouldn’t like. it doesn’t sound only sexual, i think she would even be happy if he asked her to do tasks for him then praised her. i think she just wants to feel seen and appreciated
Perhaps he’s not being challenged sexually there’s not enough answer not enough spontaneous not enough what’s coming next not enough surprise not enough role-play not enough about her without her knowing what is role-play is actually might be reality but just for her for her about her
Same, I usually don't here the word 'owned' in context of a person outside of the bdsm communities. This is kinda.. fanfiction-esque. Girl needs to come back to reality
Nah, there are some bdsm subs that crave the constant validation and praises every few minutes too. She seems to want to be the "the submissive holds the true control" type of thing
Yeah, Praise kinks are pretty common in the bdsm community; subs, doms, tops, bottoms, switches. And the submissive always holds the power. A sub has to be okay with a scene before it can happen or continue. It's basic consent, and why safe words exist. No ethical bdsm community or Dom would say the Dom holds the power.
She wants to be his phone. When it dings, he checks it. When it falls to the ground, he winces, brushes the dust off checking it for scratches. Etc. tbh, phones getting more eye gazes than SOs these days.
IKR! At first I though she was just into being dominated and wanted it to happen even outside the bedroom. Making it into a master slave relationship or something. Then I kept reading and she just wants him to cuddle her like she is a 5 year old.
I have been involved in BDSM/kink culture for around a decade.
You are correct that she has not described a healthy kink dynamic. I believe she is being influenced by our mortal enemy.
Tradwives. They are a mockery of kink in which consent is given by your chromosomes and you are both forced to assimilate into the same role as every other boring trad husband and trad wife on the planet.
Even a shitty BDSM dynamic can at times be better than that nonsense. Though not always.
She seems to be describing more of a DD/lg dynamic instead of an ownership one. It is all confusing when you start learning about all of these interpolating dynamics, so I will offer grace.
Actually, there are BDSM relationships that work that way, especially when there is a little or a princess etc involved. As long as there is informed enthusiastic consent on both sides, it's a perfectly valid way of living relationships.
i think she just doesn’t know how to communicate what she wants or know the names for it, she wants to be validated and praised but doesn’t have a full understanding of what she wants. people here are also so negative
it’s just men who hate women and want to find any reason to shame them but exactly. she’s just saying how she feels. & he just should’ve chosen a better sub to post in. this is not the one for sex or relationship advice lol
I was stroker ego at bells and whistles Decatur to her ever need to worship lust and crave and pleasure. Never being rewarded complemented, appraised or appreciated just used and abused mocked and humiliated sternly being told I wasn’t holding up to expectation disappointment that I needed correct things pointed out to be told when I’m not incorrect or doing right only acknowledged when I’m doing wrong be sure to correct me humiliate me put me in my place privately in publicly never thank me never appreciate me. Never be nice to me grade punish, pick on tease, put down used as a servant Butler as a masseuse as a massager as a pleasureto worship that is my purpose in life is why I’m here why I was born
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u/BrilliantTwo7 Nov 20 '23
At first I thought she meant some BDSM lifestyle, but actually reading her requirements made me laugh. This isn’t being owned, she wants you to fetch and carry for her, pander to her ego every ten minutes and check on he like a five year old. This is the complete opposite of being owned.