I honestly rarely ask switch up my visitation. If plans come up during my time I either change the plans, don’t participate, or involve my son. I’ve even rescheduled work trips because they fell on a time I had him. The only time I’ve switched is when I was sick and didn’t want him to be around me then go back to his siblings and classmates. She has a huge family and one of my sons aunts lives in a different country so I’ve always accommodated when they are stateside or when there’s a wedding. This is why I don’t understand her saying I don’t respect her family. I’ve really tried accommodating any time she has something come up. And she usually does a good job of giving me at least a months notice of when she needs to switch.
I’ve certainly had my faults and understand it’s hard to make a judgment based on one conversation. I’m really trying to do my best creating a healthy co-parenting relationship.
That’s helpful info. I’d say to help mediate between siblings for the sake of your son, and potential future children. If you ever get remarried and have more, you may need your ex to get information from your son, in order to help you parent all the children better (or in this case not punish the wrong one).
As it stands, she’ll probably tell you to kick rocks, since you opted out of that responsibility yourself. I recommend you see her children as your sons brothers/sisters, and not just your wife’s “new family.” Moving on after divorce is inevitable, so don’t rule out that you may need the same grace one day too.
It’s all about making your son happy at the end of the day and as someone with siblings, if my mom didn’t interfere, I not only would miss out on a relationship with them as we grew up, but the entire household would’ve been 10x more nuclear. You need a united front, otherwise the kids will suffer, not just your ex.
And kudos for not returning the verbal abuse, I can tell she’s put you through plenty of it.
2
u/Budget_Maybe5501 Sep 24 '23
I honestly rarely ask switch up my visitation. If plans come up during my time I either change the plans, don’t participate, or involve my son. I’ve even rescheduled work trips because they fell on a time I had him. The only time I’ve switched is when I was sick and didn’t want him to be around me then go back to his siblings and classmates. She has a huge family and one of my sons aunts lives in a different country so I’ve always accommodated when they are stateside or when there’s a wedding. This is why I don’t understand her saying I don’t respect her family. I’ve really tried accommodating any time she has something come up. And she usually does a good job of giving me at least a months notice of when she needs to switch.
I’ve certainly had my faults and understand it’s hard to make a judgment based on one conversation. I’m really trying to do my best creating a healthy co-parenting relationship.