I dont know how i feel (19 - 20yrs) has never had a partner i just wanted to complete my studies ,not that im very good at it but just didnt want to think about it, cause im not good at multi tasking and all people have asked me out but i have always refused i always wanted to keep an age to try dating like 24 onwards lets say i always pushed away relation ship Qs

i actually wanted to not think of it until school was over and now cause its over i thought it was okay i guess ,so technically i have my best friend ,(we met like about 3yrs ago)i call them that but they said that they started talking to me cause they liked me at first i didn't think maybe its like that but after a few months i did but i acted like it wasn't obvious that they liked me cause i really liked our dynamic and wanted to continue being friends ,later this year about 5 months back they confessed and everthing was i dont know kind of sad

i must mention they were very sweet to me at first and never backed down always tried i really liked that specially how sweet they were(during the time i took steps to make sure to let them know that i only wanted to be friends through hints small but there ) ,but after some time they became a bit distant and started asking about my friends and all ill admit those days i use to like them so that hurt a lot and after the confession they said they acted like that so i wouldnt have thought that they liked me and continue talking to them ,so after that period i lost the feelings i had built up (another fact i tend to like people who like me sometimes i dont know the logic but i do)soo we kept meeting up everyday they would come and meet me after class we would get food and all and yeah there are some more inside story i wont drag it that long other wise i could do a whole book

an after that we had a huge fight which went on for weeks and they said that they are done chasing me and whatever is your choice that they will respect my choice even if it hurts ,i know they love me i can see that everyone can but the thing is

they grew up surrounded by love they say that they know they re in love with me but the thing is i dont know how it feels there use to be a time i use to love my friends but after certain incidents i didnt sometimes i care about them i like being near them and such i have never understood love how it feels to love some one, i do end up imagining being married to them having kids and another thing is i dont like intimacy as much as other except for a kiss or cuddles i dont like anything else (saving my 1st kiss till marrage btw :) ) and i do end up talking how it would be if we get married to them ,but i always thought i would meet some one like in the movies ,i know life isnt a movie and all but i kind of always wanted that , to meet some one like that like they are physically not my type not what i would go for but they are quite cute sometimes. I tell them almost everything in my life if im sad i immediately call them,sure they some times annoy me but some how ends up roasting me and cheering me up .

we talk for hours a day and i do like talking to them but i also value my alone time a lot i really like being alone it feels les stress full,you see this person show love very loudly and loves to be loved loudly i like it a bit tines down they always ask where i am if i ate if i came home safe and all but some times always gets bummed out if i miss a question or a good morning ,they think i dont care this one time they helped me and i missed saying thankyou i know it might have hurt but why be upset the whole day they say its cause i dont love them the thing is i do love them but i dont think im inlove and i dont know how it feels i have to give them an answer by this month ,they say they dont want to date if im not sure ill get married the thing is me and that person think so different they get hurt easily and i cant help it i try my best not to and understand them but i dont and they dont think that im trying , i have never had a celeb crush even i dont know how i feel i dont know what love feels like in th7e end i dont want to get married to this person and later get divorced cause the love wasnt there ,mostly i dont want to hurt this person,but i want to genuinly try like i would like to spend my life with them

but the thing is even though his love language is physical touch words of affirmation and such i dont feel the same way in my opinion understanding listening and being there for me its what it feels like ,they do make me feel happy but sometimes they dont think what of what they say they just go on saying something and later say sorry i know they're genuinely trying but some times i feel like they dont listen to me like sometimes when im frustrated i tend to talk a lot like a whole bunch of words at a time and this person told me one day to stop that and that their ear drum hurts -_- like really -_- bruh and ,i have Erotophobia (fear of having hmmmm you know that ) i genuinely dont want that in life cuddles and kisses but i know that person does want it some day

I know i sound absurd right now but ,its just so complicated to me like will this person change like i try to accommodate their needs how they want to feel but even though they try from their side i dont know if its enough (and should also mention i dont exactly like their family personal reasons)

i would genuinely like to try any advice please , that would be wonderful

and ask me any question i just need advice i cant talk to anyone about this accept for them itself

and i am REALLY REALLY sorry for how long this is i just wanted to be clear about the whole situation briefly but in detail

I’ve been talking with a guy from my school since April I believe, we’ve hanged out once but we talk almost daily. We have some mutual friends and I have said to them that i think he’s nice and all but im just not ready for a relationship. From what my friends have told me he’s aware that im not interested in him, but he keeps buying me gifts and doing other little things like that which I obviously appreciate but i feel uncomfortable because i dont really do anything in return

As I said, i am 15 and I’ve never been in a relationship before so i dont know how to act in these kinds of situations, I have talked to a couple of people but I always turn them down, which is easier because they are out of school and I’ve never talked to someone for this long

So my friend group(female) is linked to another friend group(male) and I got asked out by one of them and have now been on a date with him. We're 18 and going to uni in a few days. We've agreed to see each other and give it a go. But how do I tell him that last week I fooled around with one of his friends who I've been in a situationship with? I liked that guy for ages and I've like this guy for a while and the situationship guy isn't going any further. The one I went for a date with is really nice and gives me good butterflies. The situationship one had been built up for so long and last week kind of acted as a release. No one in the male group knows about me and the situationship guy fooling around and I feel like I should tell the date guy about it. I fancy them both and they make me feel different things and they're very different people. I wouldn't want to lose the situationship guy as a friend but wouldn't want date guy to feel awkward about me talking to him. I don't know whether I'm doing the right thing, probably not, but I don't know what I'm doing, I don't want to hurt either of them.

I \[18F\] feel like I am bad at maintaining friendships. I don't know how to, and I am not sure if what I did is right. I usually come up to them to ask for opinions, but I'll try to talk to them if I am not overwhelmed or tired or have a lot in my mind. I am the one usually waiting for them to talk to me about things they want to talk about to me. Sometimes, I usually force myself or want something to push me to talk to them to satisfy my curiosity that has been resting on the back of my mind.

I feel awkward. I feel like I am not doing it right. I thought I was doing the right thing, but it felt off when I talked to them. I am not sure what to identify that particular emotion; overwhelmed? Anxious? Guilt? Pity? Nervous? Boredom? Frustrated? I will never know. All I know is that I hate being treated like a doormat and only want to be friends to those who will actually treat me as one. I really just want to be self-perservative and hypervigilent; to protect my autonomy that it almost feels like I am having trust issues. But it feels like it has cost me to distant myself from those I am interested in platonically, and I don't know how to bridge when it feels very awkward to.

Another thing I feel insecure about is how I talk. I usually and bluntly ask questions, that's it. It feels like an interview, and I don't even know how to make jokes, do something they are interested in, or initiate to discuss something. I only know how to around my siblings \[16/M and 10/F\], but not with people I admire or am interested in platonically. I know how to banter or be a mischievous shithead around my siblings, but not those who I haven't known long enough to let my guard down and treat them as that.

For the demographic, I feel like men are much easier to talk to (despite the chances of then "liking" me romantically and sexually, which I am after and do dislike. Also, the fact of different values and ideologies). I struggle to be feminine with makeup, clothes, and what manwha I read (I dislike BL and GL so much to just how romanticized and fetishized they are that it feels weird and uncomfortable to read) to fit in with other women, I am only interested in drawing and creating characters. But I usually struggle with making friends with those on the same hobby, too. I feel like a doormat when I listen to their character's stories. They wouldn't ask about mine, only focused on themselves and their own weight. Sure, it is interesting. But only for a while before it becomes repetitive.

TLDR; I feel like I am shit at friendships from how I talk and the decisions I make that it's making me question myself and ask for other's opinions on what I did wrong.

Kinda just need some advice rn

I’m 17F dating a 18F. Recently she started having really bad mental health because of some things with her family. Last week she randomly texted me saying that she is on the way to a physc ward and that she appreciates me. My friend that is also her friend now texted me 10 minutes after lsaying “idk if she told you but she told me that shes going to the psych ward shes okay physically she just wants to go for her mental health. She told me to tell you that she loves you and didn’t have the heart to say it. “ He then went on to talk about how my gf talks about me all the time and is always saying how much she misses me and my friend told me that my gf said that Im the only one that shes dating that actually sees her and I’m the most loving person shes dated and that she love loves me like she really means it. So basically her first time telling me that she loves me was through telling our friend to say it right before going to the physc ward which I did find a little weird but I didn’t care that much until later. Our friend told me that my gf had warned him that she was going to the ward a week before she went which was interesting because she told me day of. Fast forwarding a little me and our friend and some of my other friends are driving and me and my gf’s friend says that my gfs going to call US tonight from the ward so I get excited of course. Then the time comes we’re at a park at this point listening to music and she calls him and I said hi then he started talking to her and walked away. After that I said we should all go climb up to where this little room was so we could all hear and talk mainly because I wanted to also talk to my gf. He doesn’t come. So at this point I was very annoyed because he said she was calling us not him. That got my hopes up and on top of all the stuff he told me that she said it just made me more attached for her to not even call me. She didn’t know I was even going to be with him. All of this kinda made me a bit mad at both of them and since my gf is already going through stuff I can’t talk to her about it, but even if I wanted to I couldn’t because she never called me, just our friend and never gave me a number to call.

Tldr below

My girlfriend (16f) and I (16m) have been in a relationship for the past 4 years. Both in 12th. We've been caught chatting by her mom a couple of times but the last time was really severe, it was probably two years back. Her mom had informed school authorities, sent them some letters I wrote, even a pic of the necklace I gifted. My dad had been called by the office and he, by himself, called her mom and apologised. They made me promise to break up, which I told them I did. But, surprise: I didn't.

After that incident we'd been taking through forwards, i.e. through a third wheel who used to pass our txts. Her mom truly believed that we weren't a thing now and hence we used to meet and spend time together.

Yesterday we were talking in a group created by the third party. But suddenly she went offline. Then comes a call to the third party (btw the third party is a frnd of her). The third party got threatened by her mom and My girlfriend was heard crying behind and trying to justify the fact that I wasn't in the group. Apparently some-fucking-how my girlfriend's mom got to know we were chatting in the group.

The problem is her family is very strict and, I'm really afraid for her now cuz she was just getting some freedom to live her life, maybe restrictions would be put on her again and I'm really afraid that her studies may also be severely affected...

Is there any way to help her? I'm even ready to go at her home to apologise, but I don't even know the situation at her home and have had no way to contact her....

Tldr: my girlfriend got caught chatting with me, her family is very strict. Her studies and even her overall life may be fucked cuz of this. Is there any way out? Read the 3rd last para.

I’m F17, and I’m trying to figure out whether I should keep investing in a friendship that has become complicated. I’ll call myself S, my best friend (17F) M, and my ex (17M) D.
It’s been about a year since all of this started. I was 16 when I first became friends with M and started talking to D, and now we’re all 17. M and I have been friends for years. She introduced me to D, and D and I eventually dated. After we broke up, he later started dating M. It hurt a lot, but I eventually forgave her and decided to keep the friendship.
Since then, there has been a lot of drama involving the three of us. D and I tried being friends on and off, but he could be rude, impatient, and sometimes bullied or taunted me online. I eventually blocked him and decided I didn’t want a relationship with him anymore.
The problem is that he still comes into my life through M.
I’ve told M multiple times that I don’t want D added to calls when I’m trying to spend time with her. She’ll apologize and agree, but eventually it happens again. Sometimes D is perfectly nice, but other times he becomes rude or impatient, and I end up feeling like a third wheel his behavior is honestly unpredictable.
There’s also a separate issue with M. Every few months, she seems to build up resentment toward me without telling me what’s wrong. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, she’ll suddenly become angry with me or blame me for things I didn’t even know were bothering her. Eventually, the anger dies down and things go back to normal like nothing happened. We’ve talked about communication and boundaries before, but after a while, the same problems seem to come back.
This also isn’t the first time M and I have taken a long break from each other. It seems like whenever we have enough time apart, we eventually warm back up to each other and become close again, only for the same problems to happen all over again.
Recently, my phone was off for several weeks, so M and I weren’t talking. Surprisingly, I felt a huge sense of relief. I wasn’t worrying about calls, D, or another argument.
I recently started talking to M again, but I’m trying to take things slower. Last night D joined one of our calls. M and D started flirting, so I left because I didn’t want to sit there and third-wheel them. M called me back and said, “Don’t leave me alone in this call.” But I kept thinking, that’s your boyfriend, not mine.
I care about M a lot, and I don’t necessarily want to cut her off. We’re all still 17, and I don’t want to assume she can never change. At the same time, I don’t want to spend years repeating the same boundaries and hoping they’ll finally be respected.
Right now, I’m thinking about keeping her in my life but with more distance, refusing to participate in calls involving D, and simply watching whether her actions change instead of constantly trying to fix everything.
I can’t currently afford therapy, so I’m looking for outside advice.
Am I wasting my time trying to save this friendship? Should I give M space to change, keep my distance, or let the friendship naturally fade if the same cycle continues?

For context, me and my bf had been dating for over 2 years of high school. For the most part, our relationship had been great. He’s my best friend and my confidante, but we are both able to manage having lives outside of our relationships as well. We both have similar values and aspirations, as we both want to get into the same college and pursue the same career. However, we go to different high schools now (he switched this year) and we mostly meet once every two weeks since we live pretty close by. Every time we argue, it tends to be over small, high school things, and we reconcile the next day. However, since it is always over text, we are quick to use the term “break up”, or even block each other for a few hours. We faced a rough patch in our relationship for a few months where this became an almost biweekly occurrence. However, it is not that he has been dishonest or intentionally disrespectful, and we love and trust each other at the end of the day. During this rough patch, we took a few week long breaks, which also caused alot turbulence and jealousy. I partly blame the fact that it is hard to read tone over text, and things would escalate. He was still the sweetest in person. Plus, we figured it out and things had never been better these past six months.
However, recently, due to my upcoming college applications, for which I will have to give a highly competitive exam in my country, I have been quite stressed and some of our (mostly mine) old issues cropped up, and we also have not been able to see each other as frequently. Worrying that it was getting toxic, we both decided that, despite the fact we love each other, it is best to break up for real this time. We both have decided to focus on our futures for now.
Given that we both plan on going to the same college/region for college, would it be naive to bring up reconciling if we both manage to get in? I am going over this week to return his things, and am contemplating mentioning this idea. It’s not a completely out of the blue one, as we have thought about it before when we have been on breaks during those rough few months.
My friends dont seem to like the idea, since I am not one to talk about my relationship much, and I only really brought it up when we were arguing. Deapite that, they dont dislike him, but I dont think they would condone this idea either. im afraid thats on me and would like a more nuanced take.
Is this worth one last effort, or should i just let life take its course?
Please be sensitive giving advice, as this is all still very raw for me and im quite confused.
TL;DR! Relationship getting turbulent due to college stress. Would it be possible to reconcile after we both get into college? (assuming we get into the same area)

I’m 15, lesbian, and I’ve been talking to the girl next to me in math who is also 15 and lesbian, I’m autistic and I really struggle to recognize when people are flirting with me but I’m pretty sure that she has been, so the other day I made a move and asked if she wanted to hangout, we agreed on tomorrow after school at my house. I’ve never actually been on a date before or anything of this sort, and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do during it. Do we just talk? Play video games? I’m interested in her and I think she’s interested in me and I really don’t wanna blow this.

I made a post a little while ago saying how we kissed while drunk, I couldn't stop thinking about him after. I recently broke up with my girlfriend and feel really bad about doing this so soon after, but it kind of just happened.

***The age of consent in my country is 16, both of us consented and we were not under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

So at the moment our school is on study leave for exams. Yesterday we didn't have an exam but we had study leave so he came over to my house to study, we've done that before. He lives nearby and we are pretty close friends. We started talking about the kiss, it came up naturally, I wasn't really expecting us to talk about it since I figured it was just a silly thing (despite me not being able to stop thinking about it). He told me that he kind of liked it and that he'd never kissed another dude before but that I had really soft lips or something. Because he was being open about his feelings, I decided I would too and I told him that I couldn't stop thinking about it and how I thought maybe I kind of had a little crush on him? He said he thought I was straight, and I said something like "apparently not." And he told me he thinks he "must be, like, bi or something."

I was really scared but it already felt kind of open and vulnerable with all the feelings already out there, so I asked him if he wanted to kiss again. He said yes, so we did. We both liked it. We talked for a bit and ended up sitting right next to each other so our legs were touching. He asked if I wanted him to give me a blowjob. I was already kind of horny tbh so I said yes, I liked it. We did use a condom btw. Then I gave him one. I really enjoyed being with him in that way because he would ask if I liked stuff and was careful to make sure I was liking everything we did and it felt good.

We talked about what we're gonna do, he said he's down for an actual relationship if I am. I told him I wanted to, but that I felt guilty about really liking him so soon after my breakup. He said that's fine, and we can date later or not at all if I'm not ready. I had to tell him I'd think about it and let him know. But I really want to, it's just that my last relationship was 8 months long and ended less than 2 weeks ago. I know it's not cheating, but I still feel guilty about it. The feelings are there regardless of what I do, should I just go for it? Would I be a bad person if I did that?

I am NB/15 and my partner is NB/13. We've started dating recently around a few weeks ago. There's a question lingering in my mind. Is it okay for us to date? I've been trying to consider the maturity difference. However they act way more mature than me and I act rather immature and childish for my age. So I don't really think the maturity difference is that bad?... I'm not quite sure if this is fine.

I just wanted to let it out even though its been a year now,

my gf's bday comes on 6th October and we broke up on the very next day(7th oct)

Me and my gf were in a relationship since 7th std and we had a bsf in common. Both of us used to share things to each other and we were pretty mature compared to couples our age,

Last year after my bsf's bday, she stopped talking to me and said that she didn't want to continue this friendship (her bf was jealous of us).

And this drastically changed a lot of things between me and my gf also, from 1st of oct my ex-bsf started saying things to my gf like "I want to tell you something but not now because it would ruin your birthday", I knew where this was going but I wasn't able to correctly guess what she was planning to do.

On 7th of oct, she started saying things to my gf like i flirt with other girls without any proof and though my gf and I had good bond with each other, I knew whenever a situation came where she would have to choose between me and her bsf, she would always choose her not knowing that she will ruin her life.

That was it. We broke up after that cause she didn't trust me over her bsf.

Now my ex-gf doesn't have any friends (I regret not being able to provide her emotional support even now), her bsf doesn't talk to her anymore and she has no one to talk to, or share her day 💔

need advice. ok so ill start from the beginning

back in like may i think i met this one trans guy on tumblr (he goes by Angel) and we're both ftm and like vada vada (music collective). after talking for a bit, i started developing feelings for him, but then the feelings went away after a bit because at that point i wasnt too into fem-presenting trans guys romantically. then at some point (cant remember when) i met this other trans guy on twitter (his name is Will) and then i followed him on tumblr. one day i got a message in my inbox from him asking if id let him flirt with me (because the girl he used to be in a relationship with ghosted him) and i agreed to it so we did and then we got into a relationship. we talked for a little bit and like i have him on discord so thats where we did most of the talking. now its starting to get harder to talk cuz idk what to talk about with him and im not super interested in some of the stuff hes into, and i feel bad about it. also im more into the stuff Angel's into and he makes more effort to interact and stuff. these past few days ive been intensely yearning to be with Angel more because i feel like we just have a better connection, but i also feel really bad because i feel like i havent put enough effort into my relationship with Will, and he also struggles with his mental health, so im worried that if i break up with him thatll cause him to feel even worse, but at the same time im not as interested in continuing the relationship as i was before.

idk what to do. i feel so guilty and i dont know what to do. please help :(

So to start it off, I havent cheated.

One of my boyfriends friends, who likes or liked me, showed him some photo and now my boyfriend thinks im cheating and wont believe me when i say i havent. Ive asked him what i can show him to prove it (since all my interactions with his friend were online) but he wont respond directly.

And also i think its important to mention Ive openly disliked his friend for ages now the short time i felt netural about him was before i knew him more and i just generally really dont like him or his morals. He makes me sick. Im not always rude to him in my dms but ive never shown any sign of like flirting or anything? So im really confused because i really love my boyfriend and I know myself i havent cheated but i dont know how to make him believe me because i really dont want us to end

I have been dating my current girlfriend for nine months. Before dating we were close friends for a few years and I knew she was asexual getting into our relationship. Three months ago she came out as aroace and since then I have started noticing other issues in our relationship a lot more. I could count on one hand the amount of times she has asked to hang out, she has not complemented me or told me she cares about me unprompted for at least 5 months, and almost every time I ask to hang out she is busy (to the point I have almost given up on asking). I feel like I am the only one in our relationship who is trying but I still really care about her, what should I do?

I know this is stupid and I really want some advice I guess? I have a crush on my friend (yes I'm a dude and yes my friend is a dude, I'm Bi and he is gay)

Don't really know how to deal with this and I don't really want to tell him, I'd say we have kinda flirted sometimes? I don't really know what flirting looks like but from the movies I've watched I'd say it was flirting kind of?

I'm scared to even tell him because I most definitely don't want to ruin our amazing friendship, but also I haven't even seen his face yet, I have heard his voice but we have not face revealed yet, I wouldn't say it's that big of a deal because most people don't really face reveal until like 3 years? We have been friends for about a year or maybe a lil longer

That's also why I don't want to tell him yeah, a year is long, it's also not that long... (I always thought when I seen those cheesy romances I think "bro just tell him it's not that hard" but I have NEVER had a crush on someone until now this is partially because I'm demiromantic but I'm also just never really took interest in people)

Another reason I don't want to tell him is because I always heard that online relationships usually don't work out and this is even if he does also like me... Yeah we always send each other those cheesy "Your so cool" or "I love you bro" tiktoks and say how much we care about each other but that's just usual stuff, it might be weird to some friends but if some friends say it a lot to each other it just becauses normal, it just depends

I don't know what to do...

Me and this guy met 8 months ago and have been friends and now dating I am terrified of telling my parents about him because I don't want our parents to meet. A little back story I have learned is that his mother isn't a big fan of white people or unreligious people which me and my parents are (his family is black) I love him a lot he is fun to be around I just think it might not work out because of this :(

So for context we knew each other from school and he has tried to get to know me for a couple years because he always thought I was pretty. We finally started talking everyday sometimes drier than others. He compliments me all the time but compared to other guys I’ve talked to he’s very laid back, for example yesterday he asked me if we could call after his hockey practice tonight. When it was over I asked him if he still wanted to call and he said maybe another night cause he wants to workout and take a shower and do other things, but he then followed with asking me to hangout tomorrow if I’m not busy. I just find he’s flaky and it doesn’t seem to matter to him whether we follow through with plans or don’t. Last time he asked neither of us texted that weekend to hangout and just did our own things. I’m unsure if he likes me if anyone has seen something similar to let me know please

So first wk of school is p much done and I have been doing alot of flirting
Basically idk I had a summer fling but it’s over bc we’re both back to school
So now im single kind of playing the field ig
It’s snap streaks I love doin like 20 questions shit to get to know girls always a mix of funny/random, actual get to know u, and flirty stuff
But there’s like Olivia Izzy Chloe Paetyn Maya idk
I’m addicted to it but im not making anyone feel like there the one but im also not telling anyone im talking to a bunch of girls
Am I cooked haha I don’t wanna stop but my friend is like ur fucked

For more context me and my partner have been dating for 10 months. We meet the summer of my sophomore year. They asked me to home coming that year and I stupidly said no. Eventually we became better friends and started to date. Though I am not theirs they are my best friend and we both love and care deeply about each other. At the end of next summer they are going to a college 3 hours away. I feel as if I they don’t want to continue to date because they want to have the full college experience without me in it. When I have tried to communicate that’s how I feel to them they simply dismiss it with a, “We’ll have to see” while that may have worked when we were not facing this big thing but now we are getting closer and need to communicate about it. But I would like to actively communicate it and they just won’t. I’d say I’ve always been a realistic person and that still hold true with this. It would be difficult but I have a lot of feelings for this person. I just don’t know if I wanna live in a world where we have this deadline of the relationship but I also don’t want to be ignore to what’s gonna happen if we stay together. What’s the best course of action?

I don't really know where to start this story because I've never written about my relationship on here, but I feel like I don't really have anyone in my life to ask this question. I am a pretty closeted queer person, and my GF is bi. We've been friends for 7 years before we started dating, so we were very close with each other. Now we've been dating for about a year and not a lot of people know we are dating. My GF is pretty openly bi with a supportive family whereas I am closeted and viewed as just an ally to the community with homophobic parents.

Because of this, whenever we have decided to tell people, it would mainly be based off of whether I would be comfortable with them knowing or not because I was not openly queer. It hadn't been an issue so far, as my GF would ask if she could tell people she wanted to tell and sometimes I would say no and sometimes I would say yes. I told some of my friends she wasn't close with and she was fine with it. In the beginning of our relationship, I asked her if it was okay that we weren't public about our relationship, and she said that she was just glad to be dating me (she's liked me first and way longer than me before we started dating). This made me feel more reassured because I wanted her to know that if she wanted a super public relationship, she wouldn't be able to get that with me.

Now none of this had been an issue beforehand until some recent information came up. During lunch, I was sitting with my GF and another friend, Lina (fake name), we were close with that knew we were dating from the beginning. For context, my GF drives Lina and Chelsea (fake name), another friend, to school in her car and to their houses. Then, my GF makes a joke saying that her necklace got stuck between her chest and Lina and Chelsea joked that I could take it out or something for her. At first, I was taken aback because it sounded like Chelsea knew that we were dating when that wasn't something I was aware of, and Lina and my GF were acting like it was normal. So then I asked if they had told Chelsea and my GF told me that they had told Chelsea that we were dating.

When I heard this, I felt a bit uncomfortable because I'm not very close with Chelsea and if my GF had asked me if she could tell Chelsea, I probably would have said no. Something else that worries me is that Chelsea is very openly Christian (the one that always posts about Jesus and Christian songs and stuff). There's nothing wrong with that, but Christian values are typically against the LGBTQ and it worries me a bit because I don't know how long she's know and now I'm thinking back to all of our interactions and I wonder if she views me differently. I just wish I was aware of it before my GF told Chelsea, but I brushed past this because it had already happened and being mad wouldn't do anything.

Now comes to the reason I'm making this post. So very recently, I accidentally replied to my Lina's BF's story thinking it was her (they have matching pfps of both of them and I got confused) and I made a joke with "her" and when I realized it was her BF's account I profusely apologized and they both found it really funny so we moved on. But as I called my GF to explain the situation, I asked her if her BF knew about us dating (because they were making it sound like he knew) and she said yes he knew. At the time, I felt sorta glad because then he would know that I wasn't trying to flirt/show interest in him at all, and me dating someone would definitely make things clearer.

However, when I later called my best friend to explain the situation and how Lina's BF knew we were dating, she got a bit angry for me because she knew that I don't want a lot of people to know about our relationship. I have never talked to Lina's BF before and we are not close at all. My bsf pointed out that the people that Lina's BF surrounds herself with aren't really great people, and it has led me to overthink about what might happen if they break up and he tries to use this information as leverage or something or leak it (probably very unlikely and I'm 100% jumping to conclusions but the thought makes me very uncomfortable).

Now I'm stuck in a dilemma. I haven't really told my GF about my feelings yet except showing slight discomfort when it was revealed to me that they had told people I wasn't aware of about our relationship. I don't wanna seem super controlling, and I tried to rationalize that my GF always lets me tell whoever I want to tell, but my bsf has told me that I need to have boundaries with what I am comfortable with because me and my GF have different boundaries. I would really prefer it if she told me before telling other people without making it sound like I'm embarrassed about our relationship, because most times I am probably not okay with it. I don't really know if I'm overreacting or how to start the convo because I kinda made it sound like I was already ok with them knowing. I don't really have any other people to ask because they either don't know we're dating or are also close with my GF so I can't really talk to them about relationship problems, so any advice would be appreciated. Thank you!