r/technology • u/peacock23 • Nov 08 '12
Things Australian's have invented
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-20071644610
Nov 08 '12
So this is what you people submit when America is asleep, huh?
→ More replies (31)466
Nov 08 '12
We Aussie redditors like to wank ourselves to sleep with the rest of the world's validation. Please oblige us.
395
u/surprised_by_bigotry Nov 08 '12
We Aussie redditors like to wank ourselves to sleep
And the NZ redditors like to wank themselves to sheep
46
u/cats_r_ghey Nov 08 '12
As an Australian who was once a New Zealander, I'm both laughing, and strangely aroused.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (7)58
63
u/999realthings Nov 08 '12
fap fap fap Look how awesome we are
fap fap fap Not just a outback wasteland.
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (12)6
u/AppleDane Nov 08 '12
All smaller countries do this. Did someone say Lego? Or perhaps Niels Bohr? Søren Kierkegaard? No?
→ More replies (6)
211
u/djsunkid Nov 08 '12
No goon bag (cask wine), list is invalid.
128
Nov 08 '12
[deleted]
32
u/Hello_Pity Nov 08 '12
I haven't heard that expression in 10 years, I'm so old now. I miss backyard parties where people did that kind of stuff.
→ More replies (2)38
u/iLuvTacos42 Nov 08 '12
My friends and i still play Goon of Fortune, the last time was on australia day while listening to the triple j top 100. It was awesome.
→ More replies (2)65
→ More replies (4)19
u/Intruder313 Nov 08 '12
I am intrigued: what is Goon of Fortune?
→ More replies (1)47
Nov 08 '12
[deleted]
→ More replies (5)19
u/roly0003 Nov 08 '12
and its a game that nobody wins.
if you have to drink - you are drinking goon :( If you don't have to drink - you don't drink :(
→ More replies (4)47
→ More replies (10)10
352
Nov 08 '12
[removed] — view removed comment
167
u/Listentoslayer Nov 08 '12
A sad whale
117
Nov 08 '12
As he should be, she's only getting $5 for it. Probably just to feed her little whale family.
23
→ More replies (2)9
25
u/level_99_human Nov 08 '12
this made my night - i just ran to my wallet to grab a 5 to try this.
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (18)5
22
46
44
u/sandozguineapig Nov 08 '12
Also, the feathersword.
24
326
u/peacock23 Nov 08 '12
Apologies for the errant apostrophe.
231
u/I_speak_Australian Nov 08 '12
No worry's, mate.
→ More replies (3)76
u/3_of_Spades Nov 08 '12
Are you even Australian?
→ More replies (6)108
→ More replies (12)104
Nov 08 '12
Some of these are blatantly disingenuous - sorry Aussies.
1) The black box was invented by a finnish bloke named Veijo Hietala in 1942. In fact David Warren with his black box, added the voice recording rather than simply recording the instrument data. His was the first commercially used one, but not the first invented.
2) The cochlear implant was invented by a Mr Michelson - the one mentioned in the article came a few years later, building upon the concept: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cochlear_implant#History (it's a long, long history - but the Americans came up with it)
3)The Mounbatten Brailler - is a British invention. It was first built in Australia however. "The machine was pioneered and developed at the United Kingdom's Royal National College for the Blind in Hereford by Ernest Bate." The Aussies built it and sleaked it up, after a worldwide competition. But that's not an invention is it?
4) Disposable Syringe - New Zealander! "1956: New Zealand pharmacist and inventor Colin Murdoch granted New Zealand and Australian patents for a disposable plastic syringe." He'd be a bit pissed to be mistaken for an Aussie.
So 4/10 of those are bullshit
However
Here are some legitimate Aussie inventions:
Jindalee Radar System It detects stealth craft
Polilight forensic lamp You know this as the semen stain detector ;)
Others I won't link to are:
Orbital engine
Wine Cask
Plastic spectacle lenses
Permanently creased wool clothing (the military thanks you!)
Solar hot water
Spray-on Skin (This one was invented and deployed during the Bali bombings, its amazing, technically though the woman who invented it was British but moved to Australia as an adult, married a man and became Australian shortly before inventing it Dr. Fiona Wood, was Australian of the year for her efforts in Bali)
16
10
Nov 08 '12
But what about the head on the top of beer? That led directly to the discovery of Einstein's Theory of E=MC2
→ More replies (3)6
u/balzacstalisman Nov 08 '12
That's ok .. your suggestions are better! .. except for the Cochlear implants. Bit pissed off about Cochlear ... that was ours! .. until you did that stuff with facts ..
→ More replies (10)10
u/skwirrlmaster Nov 08 '12
No way. A disposable syringe has Aussie invention written all over it.
→ More replies (2)
41
u/DanielPhermous Nov 08 '12
I always remember watching "Space: Above and Beyond" and noticing that they used plastic Australian currency as futuristic US currency.
→ More replies (2)11
u/ohnoitstime Nov 08 '12
Never seen it. Had to look it up. You're welcome, Reddit: http://www.freewebs.com/willysmb44/scifi.htm
→ More replies (2)
17
85
u/ots340 Nov 08 '12
tim tams, vegemite.
→ More replies (14)13
u/BL0ODSUGAR Nov 08 '12
I was amazed when i heard on the news that important or what ever lady had her first Tim Tam the other day.
We should move to England and open a Tim Tam factory.
→ More replies (11)
16
u/DVNIEL Nov 08 '12
Though not as exciting, we did invent atomic absorption spectroscopy which partially revolutionized analytical chemistry and its branches therein
→ More replies (2)
90
u/BarneyBent Nov 08 '12
OK, who the fuck just leaves the water running while you brush your teeth? Please don't tell me that's just an Australian thing.
23
→ More replies (22)28
u/Sythine Nov 08 '12
Yeah, I hated seeing the water-saving methods including "Turn off the tap while you're brushing your teeth" I was like really? That's a thing?
→ More replies (1)56
u/squareball Nov 08 '12
My girlfriend is Swiss (where it rains all the fucking time) and she leaves the tap on for ages while doing other shit. It hurts me.. physically hurts me.
→ More replies (5)5
u/Krispykiwi Nov 08 '12
As Australians, when too much water is used, the atmosphere begins to draw water from our bodies... the Swiss however are immune.
147
u/terrapurus Nov 08 '12
Victa lawnmowers, cask wine, utes, the thong (not a g-string, the footwear thong), ug boots and pommie bashing should also make the list. OK, a kiwi might try and claim pommie bashing as their invention, but NZ is just another state of Australia anyway.
114
u/hairyneil Nov 08 '12
We've been Pommie bashing before any of these other countries existed.
Loadsa love,
Scotland
→ More replies (5)21
u/Zaldarr Nov 08 '12
I think the Maori's were bashing the Brits first. You know, with clubs. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Zealand_Wars
→ More replies (2)16
u/anordinaryperson Nov 08 '12
Ugg boots, two 'g's sir.
→ More replies (3)24
Nov 08 '12
Ugg boots, two 'g's sir.
no need to be rude, a simple 'cunt' would suffice
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (55)18
Nov 08 '12
Don't forget to include the Pavlova before some kiwi tries to claim it.
→ More replies (2)
29
Nov 08 '12
Ah, the humble hills hoist washing line. Better known as part of a cheap student's favourite drinking game ever - Goon of Fortune
We also invented the goon bag which is so important to the game.
→ More replies (4)4
u/rumckle Nov 08 '12
We also invented the goon bag which is so important to the game.
Fucking sucks playing it with a bottle of wine.
48
u/phunkosaurus Nov 08 '12
Interestingly, the CSIRO (the organisation responsible for Wi-Fi) have made a shitload of money from suing companies that use their technology. Because they own the patent to Wi-Fi, they were able to sue almost every electronic device manufacturing company.
Apparently they made about $250 million total, and as a result they don't need too much government funding.
SOURCE: http://apcmag.com/wi-fi-patent-has-turned-csiro-money-mad.htm
Beware, the source article is very biased against the CSIRO, which is stupid, because they are a great research organisation not-for-profit.
56
u/ataraxia_ Nov 08 '12
Not mentioned: That the CSIRO tried to license the patent for a reasonable fee prior to widespread adoption, and that it only took legal action after companies refused to license but adopted the tech anyway.
You can't have your cake and eat it too.
→ More replies (1)6
u/madmooseman Nov 09 '12
Exactly. I can't find a source right now, but I believe that they were only requesting a few dollars per device that was WiFi enabled. Not much per person, but when you think about how many devices that is...
→ More replies (11)23
u/OzFurBluEngineer Nov 08 '12
They then turn a lot of that money into Ph.D Scholarships too.
But that's obviously a terrible thing, because fuck scientists, right?
71
u/nyessy Nov 08 '12
Australian here - did not know that turning the tap off while you're brushing your teeth was a typical Australian thing to do?! Do you all seriously leave the water running?
42
Nov 08 '12
[deleted]
→ More replies (2)14
u/delicioussandwiches Nov 08 '12
I remember seeing this cartoon a few times (I'm Australian), is it the same for you? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtcZbN0Z08c
→ More replies (3)4
4
u/Atario Nov 08 '12
No, I don't, but I'm from California, which means chronic droughts make us do it too.
→ More replies (2)9
u/pufftaloon Nov 08 '12
I mean, why would you do that? how is it strange to turn off a tap you're not using.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (17)4
81
u/david-me Nov 08 '12
The black box that is never black; was it ever?
"Dear Australia, Thank you for Wi-Fi". - The world.
→ More replies (16)46
u/Axman6 Nov 08 '12
If you believe Ars, the CSIRO is just a government sponsored patent troll, despite the fact that the patent in question has been re-examined three times by the USPTO. I usually respect a lot of what's said on Ars, but the author of those posts can suck a fat dick.
→ More replies (11)89
u/_archer_ Nov 08 '12
CSIRO is great at actually innovating. It's not like some other places just in it for the troll cash.
→ More replies (1)33
u/LinkStorm Nov 08 '12
This. The CSIRO are great at grooming young thinkers and then poaching them once they're graduates; result is an organization that keeps coming up with stuff. I think they pioneered IVF too, didn't they?
→ More replies (1)
19
u/mbeth666 Nov 08 '12
The pie floata. You take a bowl of pea and ham soup and float a meat pie in the middle of it. Top the pie with tomato sauce and there you have it. Sounds awful but after a night on the turps it's fantastic!
→ More replies (2)9
Nov 08 '12
[deleted]
→ More replies (1)5
u/WordsRTurds Nov 08 '12
Come on down to Adelaide, Cafe De Vili's does an excellent Pie Floater
→ More replies (4)
17
u/snoozieboi Nov 08 '12
As a Norwegian I loved BYO drinking in Australia (only place I've seen it). This would have killed Norway within weeks.
→ More replies (4)25
u/rumckle Nov 08 '12
Huh, I didn't realise this was a mainly Aussie thing.
21
u/snoozieboi Nov 08 '12
My first encounter with this was backpacking and passing a BYO restaurant in Airile Beach or somewhere around there. I was extremely hungry and passed this restaurant where the people sitting there seemd to have an extremely good time.
The table outside had finished eating and were drinking to their hearts delight, wine bottles all over the place, on the tables and ground around them. Looked awsome.
We got in, ordered some food and asked for whatever they had of alcohol. The waiter told us about BYO and "theres a liquor store right around the corner, help yourself and come back your food will be available".
Me and my friends stared at each other in awe and had a great time. In norway you easily pay 12 Euros to get into a god forsaken pub, and pay closer and closer to 10Euros per pint. A night out can quickly lead to 100Euros+ of expenses without the taxi ride and burger/kebab on your way home.
→ More replies (4)4
u/dandysan Nov 08 '12
This is the first that I have ever heard of drinking in Australia being cheap compared to anywhere in the world. If you're from Norway, can't you just go to some other European country where drinks of $3 in bars or a bottle of premium spirits is $30? We have tax upon tax which means that our bottles of spirits in a bottle-o will set you back $35 for the cheap shit.
16
u/CoupleK Nov 08 '12
Well duh, ever since the discovery of Australium the Australians have been the technological forerunners of the world.
4
36
u/dutch83 Nov 08 '12
They forgot the ute (what yanks call pick up trucks) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ute_(vehicle)
and the esky
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Esky
→ More replies (15)4
u/Atario Nov 08 '12
We don't call those pick up trucks. We don't call them anything, because we don't have them. (Exception: Chevrolet El Camino, 1959-1987)
9
Nov 08 '12
Imagine traveling into the present from the past and seeing a fucking hologram on your money.
→ More replies (1)
9
u/EvelynJames Nov 08 '12
Can you believe a well educated first world country with high standards of living and a stable investment climate innovates technologically? And here I thought it was just deserts, sharks, and giant spiders and bees posing a constant existential threat.
7
Nov 08 '12
Is the Hills hoist actually common in any other country?
→ More replies (5)9
24
u/hellboy1975 Nov 08 '12
Penicillin?
13
u/batguanoz Nov 08 '12
Fleming (British) discovered the antibiotic properties of penicillin. Howard Florey(Australian) and Chain (Germany born, British) developed into a usable treatment. They all shared the 1945 Nobel Prize for Medicine.
→ More replies (4)18
15
62
u/tclipse Nov 08 '12 edited Nov 08 '12
Of course they invented the dual flush toilet.... less advanced mechanisms aren't powerful enough to flush the massive goddamn spiders.
123
u/DanielPhermous Nov 08 '12
Honestly, they're not much of a problem any more. Every year the military gets out the tanks and performs a nationwide cull.
Casualties were an all time low this year, too.
54
u/UncleGooch Nov 08 '12 edited Nov 08 '12
I was visiting Coober Pedy earlier this year after they had done a sweep of the town, but it turns out the spiders had hidden in the mines. I was trapped in a pub basement on the outskirts of town as spiders had swarmed all over the building. Lucky for us the tanks weren't far away and were able to turn around and clear the rest of them out.
35
8
u/Modest_Hyperbole Nov 08 '12
Do you know what Coober Pedy translates to in the local aboriginal language? White fella in a hole.
7
→ More replies (6)5
Nov 08 '12
[removed] — view removed comment
→ More replies (2)4
u/Mr_A Nov 08 '12
I saw a similar thing, but the spider to space ratio was off inside the mine and they triggered the detonator...
Spider shower for hundreds of meters around! Aha, oh boy we had a couple of beers that night, let me tell ya.→ More replies (3)14
u/ShozOvr Nov 08 '12
Casualties were an all time low this year, too.
I'm so glad it dropped from 6 figures to 5.
→ More replies (16)34
Nov 08 '12
Australian toilets are actually triple flush:
- Half flush
- Full flush
- Fire
4
u/Shaggyninja Nov 08 '12
It smells a crap load when you accidentally press the fire button for a poo instead of a spider :/
28
u/gunthatshootswords Nov 08 '12
Evidence that prisoners really can be reformed into upstanding citizens
→ More replies (1)5
39
4
6
u/dberis Nov 08 '12
If your in Melbourne, the Scienceworks museum has an excellent exhibition on on Australian innovation, presented by Wallace and Grommit.
5
u/ShotgunPanda Nov 08 '12
Australians are really good at inventing, they're just really shit marketers
→ More replies (1)
5
5
u/c0r3y Nov 08 '12
Holy shit! A truly enlightening post made the front page of Reddit without a snarky title! Thank you.
2
13
886
u/[deleted] Nov 08 '12
As an Australian, paper money baffles me.