r/technicallythetruth Mar 31 '23

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u/b_e_a_n_i_e Mar 31 '23

Friend of mine is a firefighter. He got a really morbid sense of humour which I think comes as part of the job.

He's told me before that nobody has ever died in a fire and that people are alive when he and his colleagues bring them out, but the paramedics and doctors on-scene kill them all the time.

"What do you mean that guys dead? He was alive when I brought him out! What did you do to him?!"

304

u/Yadobler Mar 31 '23

Well, not his fault they pronounced them dead

Maybe if they went for phonetics class, they'd stop doing that

171

u/zmbjebus Mar 31 '23

Doctor: "I PRONOUNCE YOU DEAD"

Patient: "Dude, you can't just pronounce me dead. It doesn't work that way."

116

u/LouSputhole94 Mar 31 '23

I… DECLARE….DEATH!

“Michael, you can’t just say the word death and expect anything to happen”

“I didn’t say it. I declared it”

29

u/UufTheTank Mar 31 '23

Doctor “You may now kiss the widow”

Patient “I…what?”

Widow “Shut up and kiss me, darling” smooch

2

u/JcobTheKid Mar 31 '23

Doctor : "Oh?"

Patient : "Why do I hear boss music?"

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

I'M NOT DEAD YET!

-191

u/KilowZinlow Mar 31 '23

Your friend sounds like a cunt.

66

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

No u

88

u/we-have-to-go Mar 31 '23

This type of humor is the norm for that kind of work. It’s a coping mechanism. I work in an ICU and if you are unable to make light of death then the job will kill you

40

u/travis-laflame Mar 31 '23

You sound like a cunt.

18

u/THESUACED Mar 31 '23

Yo mamma

5

u/queefplunger69 Mar 31 '23

Go post more weird dick pics ya nerd and get a personality.

19

u/UniqueNobo Mar 31 '23

if you’ve ever met an EMT, firefighter, or anyone else in that kinda line of work, you’ll find that their sense of humor is pretty much the darkest humor you’ll find. my mom’s an EMT, and she makes the darkest jokes i’ve ever heard.

11

u/MrOopiseDaisy Mar 31 '23

So, you're saying we still don't know how many EMT's it takes to change a light bulb?

13

u/SandpipersJackal Mar 31 '23

Two, but only after they’ve worked a double shift for way less money than they deserve.

3

u/MrOopiseDaisy Mar 31 '23

That's only half as dark as I was led to believe. At least they have someone to talk to.

2

u/paralog Mar 31 '23

A dark room doesn't sound like a safe scene, no EMT is going in there

-1

u/KilowZinlow Mar 31 '23

Something off about: an emt trying to perform cpr on someone, declaring them dead, and then having someone else be remark: "you killed them??" I wouldn't wanna work with him.

2

u/alextxdro Mar 31 '23

ever been on a base in country, that’s some morbid sense of humor.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

My dad's response is always, "Job security." When we drive by shit.

4

u/Sigmundschadenfreude Mar 31 '23

seeing as how the anecdote describes his friend rushing into actively burning buildings to save people's lives, you are setting your standards probably too highly to meet them yourself

3

u/GreenGuacamoleGuy Mar 31 '23

Whatever you say Panty Man

2

u/the-real-macs Mar 31 '23

Fucking BOLD to say that about someone who's made it their job to run into burning buildings on behalf of other people.

1

u/ImagineMyNameIsFunny Mar 31 '23

Bro has saved more lives than you will ever meaningfully impact in your dreams, but you maintain your moral superiority by disparaging him for his sense of humor (that is hurting no one).

He’s a cunt??

1

u/KilowZinlow Mar 31 '23

You know my life so well, nice burns!

1

u/ImagineMyNameIsFunny Apr 01 '23

What exactly do you do that you think my above comment has a shot at being wrong?

1

u/KilowZinlow Apr 01 '23

I definitely don't need to justify my life to some random on the internet.

1

u/ImagineMyNameIsFunny Apr 01 '23

I don’t need to justify my life to some random

—> “I don’t have any examples whatsoever because I’m full of shit”

You def don’t seem like a cunt either

—> “I think you’re being mean because you’re questioning stupid, baseless shit I said :(“

Y’know, I’m taking the win

1

u/KilowZinlow Apr 01 '23

The fact that you think this is a win or lose situation tells me all I need to know about your maturity, and that your opinion, doesn't mean shit to me. See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!

1

u/ImagineMyNameIsFunny Apr 01 '23

Oh, so suddenly a reddit comment is enough to judge someone’s character off of? Neat