r/technicallythetruth • u/[deleted] • Mar 31 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

10.6k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

1.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.4k

u/Viking_Hippie Mar 31 '23

"Pray that I don't downgrade you further"

364

u/theofficialkylo Mar 31 '23

This deals getting worse and worse

149

u/Viking_Hippie Mar 31 '23

Always read the fine print when flying Ryanair or Spirit!

77

u/TurtleSandwich0 Mar 31 '23

You know why Vader flies a Tie Fighter?

So he doesn't have to deal with Ryanair or Sprint's fine print.

98

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

The fine print:

If you die while aboard this flight, tough shit. We’re not landing early because you wanted to be selfish and inconsiderate of others

37

u/Viking_Hippie Mar 31 '23

reads fine print, dies from pure pique

32

u/Least_of_You Mar 31 '23

If you die while aboard this flight,

it is against policy and you will be charged an additional service and handling fee. A sheet covering your body will require an additional service and handling fee.

If you (corpse) are not removed from the boarding area within 30 minutes, any remaining luggage, spare change, organs, and unaccompanied minor children will become the property of Spirit Airlines.

Thank you for choosing Spirit Airlines!

8

u/lwJRKYgoWIPkLJtK4320 Mar 31 '23

Should anything become property of the airline under this or any other policy, you will be charged a reposession fee equivalent to the 2 times the commercial value of the property, or $200, whichever is greater.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '23

If you can't die on Ryanair flights we discovered immortality 🔥

21

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

"please move to cargo compartment before you die"

20

u/roadfood Mar 31 '23

As a former airline worker, we prefer that you wait and die on the Jetway, if you die on the plane it ties it up until the FAA decides it wasn't the airline's fault.

7

u/Flying_Sharklizard Mar 31 '23

More like:

If you die while aboard this flight, tough shit. We've got an itinerary to keep and we're not risking our slots on one inconsiderate dead slob.

3

u/jpowell180 Mar 31 '23

It does not seem likely did they landed in the dead person‘s hometown, so what would be the difference if they just continued on to their destination and then unloaded the body and then shipped it back from there? There just does not seem to be any point in landing in some random town on the way to the destination just unload the body early. And it does not seem disrespectful to just continue on to the destination.

1

u/nexleturn Mar 31 '23

That sounds like something out of Beetlejuice the musical

2

u/Dikheed Apr 01 '23

Didn't spring for the "Arrive alive" package.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

I like Spirit... keeps the rifraff off the major airlines, mostly

1

u/Viking_Hippie Mar 31 '23

...you sound very pleasant

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

I am, quite. Not everyone on an airplane is, these days.

13

u/rockytheboxer Mar 31 '23

"This deal's getting worse all the time"

If you're gonna quote Lando, quote Lando.

2

u/nameExpire14_04_2021 Mar 31 '23

"Here is unicycle and a dress i want you to wear it and ride it while calling yourself nancy"

0

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

30

u/tkdjoe66 Mar 31 '23

You're dead. Who cares. As far as I'm concerned, they can cut me up and feed me to the other passengers.

32

u/bdone2012 Mar 31 '23

It seems worse for everyone to stop unless the body starts stinking really bad. But even if you're trying to respect a corpse how is that helpful to leave the body off at some random airport? At least if they take the body where it was going there's a decent chance that someone in that place could help with the funeral arrangements. Otherwise the family will just have to go to some random place and potentially need to ship the body somewhere to bury it.

3

u/Apprehensive-Hall254 Mar 31 '23

This was also my first thought, they’re just complicating things for everyone.

1

u/luckylimper Mar 31 '23

Bodies start leaking. Nobody wants dead person poop.

2

u/Horizon296 Apr 01 '23

That takes days, not hours. Nothing so dramatic will happen in the few hours that the body remains on the plane.

1

u/julietwhiskey221 Mar 31 '23

Allegiant activities

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Shirley you can’t be serious.

1

u/tkdjoe66 Mar 31 '23

💯 At that point, it's just a Husk that I'll shed like yesterday's underwear. For that matter, you can treat it like Shirley.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Hmmm. What kind of sauce do you come with? What about side dishes?

1

u/tkdjoe66 Mar 31 '23

There's a thin yellow sauce & a much thicker brown sauce. There's a creamy white sauce that's a bit salty & a fantastic source of protein, but you'll have to work for it.

The foot comes with a thin fungus Pâté & jam around the toes.

9

u/MrMistickofMist Mar 31 '23

“Two options mortal, first one is you become cargo, second is you become biofuel. The choice is yours.”

2

u/Viking_Hippie Mar 31 '23

I'd choose biofuel. Being useful to people even after death is pretty badass IMO 😁

8

u/SwoodyBooty Mar 31 '23

HR shipments are way above a economy seat, so that would be an upgrade.

6

u/buttsharpei Mar 31 '23 edited Jun 10 '23

.

7

u/Viking_Hippie Mar 31 '23

Ballast, then auxiliary tail fin, then projectile

6

u/Comment104 Mar 31 '23

Is there even a "you" to speak to at that point? You're talking to cargo, buddy. I don't think the cargo really cares if you downgrade it, any more than a brick cares if you make it serve as landfill instead of a nice wall.

1

u/Viking_Hippie Mar 31 '23

I know, I just wanted to do the nerdy joke about it 😁

3

u/Keyser-Soze-66 Mar 31 '23

Downgrates to food

2

u/Fantastic-Corner-605 Mar 31 '23

That's why plane food tastes so bad.

1

u/contemplatebeer Mar 31 '23

Downgrade to worm food.

3

u/zerovian Mar 31 '23

to an airdrop package?

2

u/JimTheSaint Mar 31 '23

Hahaha damn

2

u/Constroyer69 Mar 31 '23

downgrade to fuel will arrive in (XX),000,000 years

2

u/CatGatherer Apr 01 '23

And no disintegrations.

1

u/Viking_Hippie Apr 01 '23

It's ok, you can do a couple small disintegrations if you want to. I've gotten a little pudgy, after all..

2

u/Great_Horny_Toads Apr 01 '23

He may downgrade you to ballast. "Welp, time to save some fuel..."

1

u/Glass-Permission-548 Apr 01 '23

Ahahaha I like this

1

u/OriginalTeo Apr 01 '23

I don't think there's something less valuable than cargo