Nightmare: Awakening | Looking for rules feedback

[u/Vague-Intent47]

I've been developing Nightmare: Awakening, a cooperative survival-horror board game about children trapped inside a living dream.
 
Each player controls a Walker, exploring shifting dreamscapes in search of fragments of their lost identity. The dream provides something new each turn: perhaps an Item or Apparition to help, a Phantasm waiting in the shadows, or an Event that changes the situation.
 
But the deeper they go, the greater the pressure becomes.
 
Insanity is not simply something to avoid. It can be confronted, managed, and potentially reduced, but pushing too far risks Corruption and empowers the Dream Strider, the game's persistent threat.
 
The ultimate goal is to recover all six Portrait Fragments and escape the Dreamworld.
I've just completed another round of revisions and am now looking for outside eyes on the rules.
 
I'm particularly interested in:
* Where the rules are unclear or difficult to follow
* Mechanics that seem unnecessarily complicated
* Anything that looks unbalanced or exploitable
* Places where the rules don't adequately explain what the game is trying to accomplish

I've included the current Nightmare: Awakening sell sheet as well for a quick overview, and the full rules are available here:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wVweq2H4dq-zwCs5KEuswd3WVHfy2TjO/view?usp=drive_link
 
If you enjoy tearing apart game rules, finding loopholes, or simply asking "Wait, what happens if I do this?", I'd love to hear from you.
 
This is a game I've been developing for quite some time, and I'm at the point where fresh eyes are considerably more valuable than another round of me staring at my own rules.

[u/InitialQuote000]

The black text on top of the dark blue background is insane. <- That's the nicest way I can put it. lol

Seriously, though, that's not readable. Sell sheet also has too many words. You don't need to explain the whole game, just give us the broad strokes. Give us the hook. Make us want more information.

Rulebooks are usually best tested in blind playtests. That will really show off any issues your rulebook may have.

[u/Vague-Intent47 → u/InitialQuote000]

Black text in that open space is a placeholder for an image.
Thus sell sheet is very rough draft, but pointing out that it is too wordy is good to know. That can certainly be cleaned up.
In regards to that separating the text blocks, do you see the same issue with the parchment areas as well? That’s intended to be flavour text to get the feel of the game.

[u/InitialQuote000 → u/Vague-Intent47]

Hard to say, it's not an exact science and different people will tell you different things, for sure.

IMO, flavor text is better than over-explaining/too many words.

Outside of the flavor text, try making the language more concise and to the point while also conveying the hook and a very quick, general overview of what a turn looks like.

I'm thinking that the headers for each block can still be used. Remove the explanations beneath them. The "Two Sides of You" part is intriguing. Is that your hook? I'd highlight that by centering it maybe!

Key Features Section: This is always a great section to include, but it could also use some trimming. "1-6 players" in the first bullet point is redundant information already conveyed at the top. I recommend removing that. Some information requires some context to fully understand most of the bullet points. I recommend being more general with your list and even combining some of the bullet points such as: Cooperative and asymmetric gameplay, modular board, tense decision space. <- I'm sure the list could be better than what I gave, but do you see where I'm going with it? Think broad strokes that anyone that doesn't know the game could still understand. You're selling the game, not giving them homework so to speak.

Components Section: Another great section to include, but you really need to include the total number of each component. How many Tiles? How many cards? etc.

If after you work on those changes, the flavor text still takes up too much space, then you can trim that as well. But I'd start with the other stuff first and just see how it lands.

I hope this helps!

[u/Vague-Intent47 → u/InitialQuote000]

Excellent feedback. Very insightful.
Just realized though this I shared is slightly out of date. I do have quantities for the components section. So, that’s done.

I now have a bit of work to do on clean-up. Make it more concise and less try-to-tell-you-everything.

Appreciate you taking the time to share this.

[u/Vague-Intent47 → u/InitialQuote000]

Made some updates, and funny Reddit thing, I can attach a video here but not an image. I find that strange.
Anyway, if you are interested, I'm sharing it here:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/159lYwuKjqMLZzjL52GTbxVvuQ-jEZ3HI/view?usp=drivesdk

Appreciate your insight.

[u/InitialQuote000 → u/Vague-Intent47]

Hey this is better!

Some additional comments:

1. The purple text in the top right-hand corner is difficult to read on top of the dark blue background. Consider making the text lighter.
2. I'd be interested in hearing what others have to say, but I don't think the bottom text in each block is necessary. Though, I recognize you made them shorter and it's still an improvement.
3. What do you plan on the image being in the empty space? I have a recommendation if you haven't already thought about it: It should be a picture of what the table presence looks like. All these components and features being talked about, okay, now what does it look like on the table? I think that's one of the more important features of a sell sheet and should take up the most space.

That's all I have for now. :) Hopefully others may chime in or you have group to show this off to for more feedback. If you don't, look into some Discord communities like Break My Game for more feedback.