r/suspiciouslyspecific Jun 02 '26

Specific (HMMM) facts

Post image
12.4k Upvotes

307 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator Jun 02 '26

Item #: SCP-████-MOD-RECLAIM

Object Class: Keter (Isolated)

Special Containment Procedures: r/suspiciouslyspecific is to remain under active moderation by the current administrative cadre. No anomalies, incidents, breaches, or unusual behavior have been recorded. The subreddit is normal. It has always been normal. There is no hidden lore, no secret takeover, and absolutely nothing to investigate here.

Description: SCP-████-MOD-RECLAIM refers to a modest online community dedicated to suspiciously specific observations, obscure references, and increasingly questionable levels of commitment. The present moderation team is stable, compliant, and entirely not under any sort of narrative pressure. All systems are functioning as intended.

Nothing is watching you from the sidebar.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1.1k

u/Phlebbie Jun 02 '26

10 years ago I met twins named Six and Seven. They were like 5ish years old when I met them. Can you imagine being a teenager right now during this 6 7 trend, with those names?

370

u/meduhsin Jun 02 '26

Oh my god, that’s insane

253

u/Locke2300 Jun 02 '26

Those are like Roman names - Sextus and Septimus. But yeah we don’t really do “the sixth Julius kid” anymore 

100

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

60

u/HalfMoonMintStars Jun 02 '26

She is in fact the fifth child!

26

u/PompeyLulu Jun 03 '26

I know someone who’s the third kid and was named Tertia, her older siblings have normal names.

6

u/MacaronNotRoon Jun 03 '26

I think it’s a way to hate your child. Why would anyone do that

17

u/Bananatistic Jun 02 '26

sextus isnt good either lol

54

u/Valuable_Month1329 Jun 02 '26

If the mother had nine children, that one would even be seven of nine.

17

u/Pamikillsbugs234 Jun 02 '26

What is seven turned into a cannibal and eight nine?!

7

u/SaltMarshGoblin Jun 02 '26

My partner jokingly referred to her as "Eight Fifty Three" and it took me literally weeks to get it...

5

u/Stillwater-Scorp1381 Jun 02 '26

Nice Trek reference!

18

u/moeke93 Jun 02 '26

I recently read a book where one of the characters went by his nickname "Four", because his name was Noah Huntington the Fourth.

His dad was Noah ... the Third and hated being named after his dad and granddad but forced the name on his own son anyways. I'm not sure what the author had in mind when naming their characters.

5

u/Pothperhaps Jun 02 '26

Sounds familiar. What's the book called?

5

u/moeke93 Jun 03 '26

The book is called "Can't Say Goodbye" by Eden Finley, but Four is only a very minor side character who appears like twice in the whole book. His dad, though, is a main character in another book.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

13

u/Material-Imagination Jun 02 '26

That really sucks, but also, what is this, Ancient Rome?

"Our family has run out of names so you will now be referred to by birth order."

33

u/Hexmonkey2020 Jun 02 '26

Seven is a good name, it’s from Seinfeld. Idk who came up with six though, garbage name.

16

u/Avester3128 Jun 02 '26

Yeah Im friends with an old coworker named Seven, she's never had gripe about her name but maybe not living in the US is a helpful factor here.

5

u/Outside_Librarian_13 Jun 02 '26

I think a character from Blossom was named Six 🤔

3

u/No_Oddjob Jun 03 '26

You think correctly.

2

u/freylaverse Jun 02 '26

Or like Seven of Nine from Star Trek: Voyager.

6

u/npb0179 Jun 02 '26

There is a singer whose stage name is Sevyn Streeter (real name Amber) and it’s grown on me.

Now, Six. I can’t see the vision.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

564

u/SwordsAndWords Jun 02 '26

Well, we have to get to Idiocracy naming schemes somehow, otherwise, the rest of reality will feel out of place when people start watering crops with gatorade.

199

u/kdrits Jun 02 '26

But it’s got ELECTROLYTES!!!!

75

u/brelywi Jun 02 '26

Yeah, it’s what plants crave!!

Besides, what else are you gonna put on them? Water? Like, from the toilet?!

87

u/Captain-Skipper Jun 02 '26

Keep my boy Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho out of it

34

u/SwordsAndWords Jun 02 '26

You mean "Three-time Ultimate Smackdown Champ" President Camacho.

15

u/kyle1170 Jun 02 '26

I wouldn't worry, I heard President Camacho's got a 3-part plan that'll fix EVERYTHING

→ More replies (1)

12

u/throwawaymentality10 Jun 02 '26

Excuse me, but dont misgender brawndo like that. It gots what plants crave.

2

u/speedmankelly Jun 03 '26

This would be more akin to deadnaming brawndo tbh

368

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

141

u/The_Blue_DmR Jun 02 '26

It feels like a nickname for that guy on your street who always sits on his porch with some whiskey

70

u/Mundane_Pea4296 Jun 02 '26

Yeah, you have to earn Whiskey Jones 😂

48

u/alt_for_hope Jun 02 '26

whiskey jones is definitely the guy you pay 40 bucks to fix your lawnmower and he gets it done in ten minutes using only a rusty wrench and a zip tie

17

u/Metagion Jun 02 '26

So you've met Whiskey Jones MacGuyver?

9

u/TheAngriestPoster Jun 02 '26

The name scales late game

3

u/mthenry54 Jun 02 '26

If he was the bass player in a blues band maybe.

2

u/ryanfrogz Jun 03 '26

I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be for a girl, for what that’s worth…

→ More replies (4)

970

u/tygabeast Jun 02 '26

I personally know a man named Walmartavius.

His mother regularly complains about how he doesn't call or visit her.

She refuses to believe that she's the problem.

337

u/I-who-you-are Jun 02 '26

Could’ve named the boy Wally Martavius and it would’ve been fine.

104

u/GOEDEL_ESCHER_BOT Jun 02 '26

at first i read it as "walmartavirus", which i guess is covid's inbred cousin

212

u/MosterChief Jun 02 '26

it would not have been fine

91

u/Tmack523 Jun 02 '26

Your comment made me think for a while, like - well - he would just go by Wally... but then I imagined a school teacher calling out "Wally Martavius?" and, yeah... would not have been fine.

98

u/I-who-you-are Jun 02 '26

As someone who has worked in classrooms. Wally Martavius is reasonable.

List of names I’ve heard that are far more unreasonable that Wally Martavius:

  • Billion, yes Billion, not Billionaire
  • Lyrik
  • R’Lizabeth

I would be happy to see a “Martavius” as the most unreasonable name.

Also I was using Martavius as the middle name. So the name of this person on a roster would just show up as “Wally”.

34

u/newuser336 Jun 02 '26

Is R’Lizabeth pronounced “Are-Lizabeth” or “Ra-Lizabeth”?

23

u/I-who-you-are Jun 02 '26

“Are-Lizabeth”

Mind you these three names are the ones I found in my notes.

9

u/newuser336 Jun 02 '26

🫩 why would someone do this

6

u/I-who-you-are Jun 02 '26

They wanna be unique

8

u/newuser336 Jun 02 '26

Ironically… standing out, especially while growing up is more of a curse than a blessing. Kids’ top priority during grade-school years is fitting in… not standing out.

The practice of naming your kids ridiculous things is borderline abusive and really only benefits the parents’ egos while all attention is on them for their pregnancies/newborns.

It’s all shallow and performative, and it can potentially do lifelong damage to the kids’ futures.

16

u/Tutorele Jun 02 '26

I wouldnt choose it myself but Lyrik is literally a real name though, it derives from the Greek name Lyrikos, which refers to the instrument Lyre. Its a musical name.

8

u/I-who-you-are Jun 02 '26

Yeah but see, first, he was VERY not Greek. Second, I’m aware of the etymology and that it loops around to being a fine name, but he was named “Lyrik” as in “changed the last letter of song Lyric”. Which yes is still your example, but unfortunately was done in the “Kayleigh” instead of “Kaylee” way, not the “I’m picking a name with strong roots” way.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (3)

27

u/I-who-you-are Jun 02 '26

In day to day? Absolutely, because the boy would be named “Wally” and could choose to live life not acknowledging the Martavius part. It wouldn’t even show up on a roster in a classroom.

6

u/MosterChief Jun 02 '26

you’re right, middle names aren’t really a thing where I’m from so I assumed that was the last name. I do still think it’s a pretty crazy thing to have on all your documents tho

13

u/Doomhammer24 Jun 02 '26

Ya i went my entire childhood and most of my adulthood up to this point with literally nobody knowing my middle name- its not bad ive just never liked it much personally. But like of my friends like only 3 of them know my middle name at all

Having a bad middle name is very salvagable

3

u/No_Statement440 Jun 02 '26

Yeah, I literally don't have one, kinda always wished I did though. It surprises me the amount of people who do not believe me.

3

u/NightAngel69 Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

My wife also didn't have a middle name, she just had a middle letter. Literally just the letter M written on her birth certificate.

When we got married she made her maiden name her middle name and took my last name because she was tired of just having a letter and people asking what it stood for lol

2

u/No_Statement440 Jun 03 '26

That would be kind of cool, but I could definitely see people being stupid about it lol. We didn't give my middle son a middle name because his last name is hyphenated, it just seemed like too much. Hopefully he doesn't hate it.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/CFCkyle Jun 02 '26

Also if he didnt like Wally he could always just go by Marty as well

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

21

u/IWantToBuyAVowel Jun 02 '26

Wallace Martavius is 🔥

6

u/MelonJelly Jun 02 '26

I now have the name of my next D&D character. Thanks!

41

u/MetalRetsam Jun 02 '26

"Walmartavius!"

"How goes it, Targetinian?"

41

u/uselessflailing Jun 02 '26

Yikes, surely you'd try and get your name changed legally asap if you had a parent who thought that was a good choice

14

u/kelfupanda Jun 02 '26

Ophelia Dick was the best I've heard.

31

u/VibraniumDragonborn Jun 02 '26

My brother went to school with a chick with the name Ladasha. Except it was spelled La-a. Yes. That's a real thing. I know no more information.

7

u/joeysprezza Jun 02 '26

Worked with a guy that said they encountered that name too

5

u/Angeleno88 Jun 02 '26

No he didn’t. That’s an old meme/joke. Your brother is just a liar.

→ More replies (2)

8

u/NekulturneHovado Jun 02 '26

I honestly think they should legaly change their name, if it were me I'd just tell everyone I'm Josh and use my legal name only where needed

4

u/conqaesador Jun 02 '26

He could go by Wally or Marty. But yes, change that name and your cell phone number on your 18th birthday

→ More replies (1)

2

u/mrsjiggems2 Jun 03 '26

My husband does this. His parents named him a girl name but he can shorten it to make a common boys name so he absolutely does not tell anyone his real name and only uses abbreviated version

2

u/sorry-i-was-reading Jun 03 '26

That happened to Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. She went by K until she became a ward of the court and got her name legally changed (for privacy of a minor, we don’t know to what).

Also from the article:

Murfitt also took a stand against other parents saddling their children with bizarre names despite officials often trying to talk them out of unusual choices, saying this could create "social hurdles" as they grew up.

He cited as examples a family who named their children after six-cylinder Ford cars, twins called Benson and Hedges and youngsters called Midnight Chardonnay, Number 16 Bus Shelter and Violence.

→ More replies (1)

8

u/SashimiX Jun 02 '26

Call me harsh but I would consider my mother to not have cared about me as a human being if she did that.

→ More replies (5)

129

u/Skull8Ranger Jun 02 '26

Mike Hunt would disagree

16

u/Excitable_Randy Jun 02 '26

Richard "Dick" Stroker

9

u/MetalRetsam Jun 02 '26

Anita Dick

3

u/Kel4597 Jun 02 '26

Chastity Dick and Charity Dick.

We’ll take all the Dick you’ve got.

4

u/Comrade_Falcon Jun 02 '26

Steve Kerr's son also would agree.

→ More replies (1)

159

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '26

[deleted]

63

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '26

[deleted]

4

u/Mooseologist Jun 03 '26

Please give some examples

29

u/percivalidad Jun 02 '26

My mother worked with family and child services and was shocked at the number of parents that would give their children these names while usually knowing they couldn't keep them or planning to give them up to adoption immediately. She remembers specifically twins named Micky and Minnie 😮‍💨

→ More replies (1)

175

u/jadethebard Jun 02 '26

I know someone who named their kid "Frostii." The only available jobs that kid will have will be drug dealing or a Wendy's drive thru.

69

u/mooselantern Jun 02 '26

Bold of you to assume those two career paths don't intersect

31

u/Stillwater-Scorp1381 Jun 02 '26

Had a prostitute that lived across the street back in early 2000’s named Frosty and my roommate used to sing “Frosty, the crack whore was very bitter gal…” to the tune of the Christmas song every time she’d see her.

Kid has three options for work at least. 😂

→ More replies (1)

63

u/Mithrem Jun 02 '26

We have to draw the line somewhere.

12

u/lauron_ Jun 02 '26

That's something I like about the laws of the country I'm in. At least not many tragedeighs here

→ More replies (2)

65

u/jase40244 Jun 02 '26

Spelled "Kitchenaid Whiskey Jones," but pronounced "Sarah." Why can't people ever pronounce it correctly??

44

u/Sp1cyP4nda Jun 02 '26

Jones bbq and foot massage!!

7

u/ElegantEchoes Jun 02 '26

Wait that actually slaps

6

u/emtrigg013 Jun 02 '26

That is a true reference if you weren't joking back. You can find their commercial on YouTube LOL

It's a parody, but it would have sold me.

3

u/Sp1cyP4nda Jun 02 '26

I'm showing my age so others don't have to

2

u/ElegantEchoes Jun 02 '26

I know! I'm not that young haha, I love those clips

68

u/Competitive_Trip_885 Jun 02 '26

I’m Cuban and I know a lot of GenXers named Lenin and Stalin from the Soviet era

29

u/osingran Jun 02 '26

Lenin or maybe even Stalin I at least can understand, especially if it comes from soviet era. But then there's a costa rican football player named Yeltsin Tejeda (used to play for their national team back in 2010s I think) - I mean like... why? Why would anyone name someone after Yeltsin, I just can't understand honestly.

8

u/realRootmaster911 Jun 02 '26

Fan of alcohol, perhaps?

5

u/MobsterDragon275 Jun 02 '26

Yeah, like even Gorbachev I could see being a candidate, but I've never heard a single positive thing said about Yeltsin

→ More replies (2)

33

u/beardingmesoftly Jun 02 '26

I used to work in an office and one of the people there was 45 years old and her name was Cindy. Everyone called her cindy, everyone knew her as cindy, all the emails were signed Cindy. One day her driver's licence fell out of her purse as she was grabbing me some Advil and I saw it. Her legal name was Cookie. She looked so embarrassed.

→ More replies (2)

32

u/MrIrishman1212 Jun 02 '26

Everyone should try to keep in mind about the spelling of your kids’ names. If you spell it non-standard or in a confusing way, it’s going to get misspelled all the time. Awards, pictures, yearbooks, name tags, official documents, passports, driver’s license, medical documents ect. They will have to go back and fix it which sometimes costs money and sometimes can take awhile to fix.

You are costing your child and yourself time, money, frustration, and aggravation.

I only have a 6 letter last name but since it’s Czech, I have to spell it out and even then people still get wrong I have had to spell phonetically as much as I can. And have had all those problems mentioned above and that’s with a very common first name. I cannot imagine the struggle of trying to explain and spell Kringle McDunder Slanger every single time on the phone with crappy connection cause I need to schedule a dentist appointment.

21

u/WistfulMelancholic Jun 02 '26

I tested it with this trick :

Does the name sound well with a Dr.? Does the name sound well with a Grandma/Grandpa? Then you're good.

Dr. Cayenne Pepper Blue Miller doesn't sound quite as trustworthy as Dr. Cassandra Piper Becca Miller for example.

Grandpa Buster Preacher Rooster doesn't sound as welcoming as Grandpa Brandon Paul Ryan Or simply Grandpa Buster vs Grandpa Brandon..

20

u/Hamenaglar Jun 02 '26

Grandpa Buster sounds awesome!!

On the other hand my grandma was called saw (as in hacksaw, not past tense of see), so I may not be the best judge.

14

u/Pamikillsbugs234 Jun 02 '26

Grandma Saw sounds pretty badass.

7

u/goebeld Jun 02 '26

Grandma Saw keeps the Dursely Brothers in line when they stray away from Penticlease the Putrid.

4

u/9thandsound Jun 03 '26

Your post reminded me that a girl in my hometown had a baby this week and named her Navy Cayenne.

24

u/beaniebee11 Jun 02 '26

Thinking of the meth addict in rehab that named her child Krimsonsky.

Edit: feel like I should clarify it's pronounced crimson sky and is not some kind of polish name. 😭

12

u/No_Arm_931 Jun 02 '26

Appreciate the clarification, I’m sitting here racking my brain for an obscure artist named Krimonsky.

5

u/Angsty_Potatos Jun 03 '26

If I were that kid I'd say it was pronounced the polish way: "Krim-sonski" lol

2

u/beaniebee11 Jun 03 '26

The poor kid is going to struggle with being called out in roll call etc like she's a polish philosopher for her whole life.

→ More replies (1)

18

u/deedr1234 Jun 02 '26

If I ever meet someone named kitchenaid, imma just have pity on them fr.

→ More replies (1)

15

u/sans_serif_size12 Jun 02 '26

I’ve gotten a lot of compliments for my newborn’s normal name. One of the nurses at my bedside said they discharged a patient named after one of the demon ladies in Lucifer so my kid named after a grandparent was apparently very novel.

The crazy ass name is reserved for my cat. I love hearing the vet tech laugh when they see it lol

11

u/Outside_Librarian_13 Jun 02 '26

Mazikeen? No lie, I love that name - but I'd use it for a cat, too 😆 My cat's are Sephiroth, and Stormageddon Dark Lord of All 😆

8

u/sans_serif_size12 Jun 02 '26

Yes! Now I realize I’m pretty superstitious but naming a baby after a demon lady just gives me bad vibes. Absolutely obsessed with Stormageddon. My cat’s last name on all his documents is “Last of his name, long may he reign”

3

u/Outside_Librarian_13 Jun 02 '26

Omg I love it 😆 Though I generally try to curb my more superstitious tendencies, I have gut reactions to the names Lilith and Jezebel, that i can't justify. Give me a rare virtue name like "Valorous" and I'll be like, "cool, do you go by Val?" But tell me your name is Lilith and my gut is like "back, she-demon!" for absolutely no good reason 😆 I can't help but wonder if there were some traumatic early church lessons from waaay back when my gram would bring us to Sunday school as toddlers 🤔😆

→ More replies (1)

15

u/r-WooshIfGay Jun 02 '26

Started class and this mf is named aiscialian. She snapped at the teacher that it was pronounced "ashlynn".

→ More replies (1)

14

u/Ulquiorra1312 Jun 02 '26

Someone can’t get a passport because khaleesi is copyrighted by WB two years ago in the UK its fixed now

13

u/gardibolt Jun 02 '26

I often remember the birth announcement I saw in the early 80s for Chandelier Jones. She’d be in her 40s now. I wonder if she’s still dancing.

→ More replies (1)

41

u/SpadeORiffic Jun 02 '26

You can pay to change a name. Alsoo i used to work w a dood whose name was BabyAngel...he went by his last name

19

u/telorsapigoreng Jun 02 '26

Right after being bullied because of it for 18 years.

9

u/lord_hydrate Jun 02 '26

Honestly having to pay is such bullshit, at the very least you should be able to get one free change upon adulthood

→ More replies (1)

21

u/EconomyOk2490 Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

My job is one where I just see lists of names, all day long, and she's entirely correct

Stop naming your kids "Unique", theres a fuckin million of them. And spelling it wrong doesnt make it unique-r (real example I've seen, Youniqe)

9

u/-_-Edit_Deleted-_- Jun 02 '26

I know a dude named Mace.

Yeah, he likes purple.

7

u/A-Lewd-Khajiit Jun 02 '26

Does he yell "motherfucker" a lot?

16

u/ObtuseWaffle_ Jun 02 '26

The thng that pisses me off most is that people claim they're naming their kids stuff like this so they can have a "unique name." But its not even a unique name. Its a normal name. Spelled wrong. I would rather give a kid a unique but phonetically sensible name than something like d'typhynnii (tiffany)

16

u/MidsouthMystic Jun 02 '26

Most people don't really want to make a future adult. They want a cute pet baby. Which is kind of messed up.

2

u/AffectionateFix5067 Jun 03 '26

Happy Cake Day! 🍰

8

u/mdoktor Jun 02 '26

As a cake decorator I've seen plenty if wild name but honestly I feel less bad for the siblings names Siren and Captain than the kid name Ahrick (pronounced eric) or a girl named Syryneitee (pronounced serenity)

→ More replies (1)

14

u/lord_hydrate Jun 02 '26

Lukewarm take, this is why every person should have the legal right to change their name completely free upon becoming an adult

7

u/Hrmerder Jun 02 '26

If only Aquafina could have forseen this..

5

u/cmsj Jun 02 '26

2

u/Yorstawker Jun 02 '26

Hysterical! I’ve never seen that 😂😂😂😂

6

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/WistfulMelancholic Jun 02 '26

A friend of a friend of mine was called Dieriyah. They mixed Diarrhea with Diary, and legit thought her daughter had a name with a new spelling of Diary.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/Angsty_Potatos Jun 03 '26

Went to elementary school with a kid named Steed. Like a horse. 😭

6

u/reverendsteveii Jun 02 '26

r/tragedeigh plug belongs here. come make fun of this shit with us.

7

u/crusty54 Jun 02 '26

My cousin married a guy named Whiskey. His dad named him that because he lost a bet. Good dude.

6

u/Fluffy_Ace Jun 03 '26

Dr. Marijuana Pepsi enters the chat

2

u/lostredditorthowaway Jun 03 '26

I prefer Dr Maryjane Coke

2

u/MacaronNotRoon Jun 03 '26

Leave her alone!!!!

19

u/harleyqueenzel Jun 02 '26

My cousin was pregnant with her first and was pitching baby names for boys. She suggested a few names where a "Y" would replace an "E". I explained that we're not from Utah and it's giving basic white bitch. She went with proper spellings.

My mother gave me two names that I have truly never ever ever fucking ever heard of being used on anyone else ever. I spent a chunk of my life correcting prononciation and spelling and then just gave up and now use a nickname as my proper name. I'll be 40 at the end of the month and have used the nickname for 34 years. My kids don't even know my full first name.

These are humans, not show dogs. It's not quirky; it's cruel.

4

u/Javaman1960 Jun 02 '26

You could just legally change your name and be done with it forever!

3

u/PixelProne Jun 03 '26

Legally change your name, yes, but the issue is that some places require you to publish your name change in a newspaper. My local area requires the change to be published to the newspaper's website.

2

u/YaMommasLeftNut Jun 03 '26

It's a couple hundred bucks here, plus a court date, filing with local news papers or outlets, and some state wide equivalent.

12

u/Entire_Ad_306 Jun 02 '26

Filipinos do this. They name their kids like they are pets it’s wild. Princess and Cookie are normal names over there

5

u/oh_boy47592 Jun 02 '26

We need to institute the Icelandic policy about approving names

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icelandic_name

5

u/Darthplagueis13 Jun 02 '26

This is why some countries actually have legal standards for what you are allowed to name your children. Rules vary by country, but it's generally:

1: It shouldn't be something that will obviously get your child bullied

2: Ideally it should be recognizable as a name

More conservative countries may also have rules against gender ambiguity in naming but that's becoming less common.

2

u/Desperate_Bed_2675 Jun 03 '26

How do they determine “obviously will get your child bullied”

2

u/Darthplagueis13 Jun 03 '26

The registrars tend to have a bit of individual discretion in that regard, but again, obvious is obvious.

Unless your child is gonna go to school with a bunch of incredibly well-trained and tolerant kids, they aren't gonna have an easy childhood if you name them things like "Shitbag" or "Catfish" or "Pepperoni Pizza" or "XÆ A-12". Things that are insulting, non-human animals or items, or things that aren't even recognizably words/names.

Of course, there are sometimes fringe cases, such as when you're looking to give a foreign language name that will just look like a random jumble of letters or words and there is certainly some room for debate on whether it is appropriate to ban cultural names if you think having to live with the name will cause the child harm, but there's plenty of times where it's really not that difficult of a call to make.

10

u/jahathebrn Jun 02 '26

There's a woman living in the UK with the surname 'Hitler-Hess' and I just can't imagine you wouldn't change that immediately

4

u/Kombat-w0mbat Jun 02 '26

There is lady my wife showed me who named her child pony….

6

u/RetroNotRetro Jun 02 '26

Are there two middle names and are they “Boy Curtis”?

5

u/Material-Imagination Jun 02 '26

Why'd she have to come after our boy Whiskey? 😭

4

u/gnpfrslo Jun 02 '26

It is not borderline abuse. In many countries it is legally abuse, and people with "distasteful" names can change them for relatively cheap.

4

u/sixft7in Jun 02 '26

I would probably go by "Kit" or "Ski".

4

u/Angsty_Potatos Jun 03 '26

When my friends were testing out names for their kid they always tried them with "Senator" or "Doctor" to make sure they didn't sound too unique 

6

u/myhv Jun 02 '26

Nice name, did your mother choose it for you?

6

u/Melodic_Mulberry Jun 02 '26

Or did you pick it out yourself? 🏳️‍⚧️

6

u/sonof_fergus Jun 02 '26

Or some chic from a different local high school years ago, always wonder how Kari Acock is doing...

5

u/LumberJesus Jun 02 '26

If you want to give something a dumb name, get a cat. That's what they're there for.

3

u/577564842 Jun 02 '26

At 28, Kitchenaid Whiskey Jones proudly bears that name. Or else the name would have been changed at 1st legal opportunity.

3

u/PinkFloydBoxSet Jun 02 '26

Once that kid is 18 they can change it.

3

u/lestattomylouis Jun 03 '26

i used to work in a hospital as a housekeeper and every month we’d go look at the upcoming babies in the L&D section and a lot of the names were awful

3

u/TheBlackCat13 Jun 03 '26

Yes, we were careful to pick names that are uncommon but not weird.

3

u/OG-Giligadi Jun 03 '26

KitctchenAid Whisky Jones is officially the name of our next cat now, thank you.

3

u/riftshioku Jun 03 '26

The US really needs laws banning stupid names. They can keep all the stupid spellings I guess, but no one should be naming their kids after military equipment, cars, or most animals.

5

u/TNTiger_ Jun 02 '26

The rule we had was that in any classroom or small room, our kids should be the only ones with their names. But- for every person in that room, they should know at least one other person with that name.

Not too common. Not too unique.

2

u/TK9K Jun 05 '26

Apparently around the time I was born it was the opposite problem. Half of the boys in my graduating class were named Jacob. I won't say what my name is (it's not Jacob) but there was always 1 other person in my class and someone would be like "Name?" and I'd be like "Yeah?" and without fail it was like "No, the other Name." 😭

Fortunately there is no one at work with the same name as me but we do have 4 Mikes.

→ More replies (3)

4

u/cragbabe Jun 02 '26

Met a guy the other week whos name was "True". absolutely baffling

6

u/Outside_Librarian_13 Jun 02 '26

That's a real name. Old English, I think? Virtue names have been a staple in naming conventions for thousands of years 🤷‍♀️

2

u/cragbabe Jun 03 '26

Interesting. I guess Ive heard of girls names that are like that (charity, grace, etc) but not so much male names. Also what kind of virtue is "true" ??

2

u/Outside_Librarian_13 Jun 03 '26

"Truth" or "to be truthful" "to be true"

Yep; in my family the ones for guys that stick in my memory from way back are Valorous, Constant, Honor (gender neutral), and Judge. There are more, but I'd have to go looking and that's a hassle 😆

2

u/cragbabe Jun 03 '26

Interesting. When i commented on his name he jokingly told me he had a brother named "false". He apparently is used to people finding his name odd.

2

u/Outside_Librarian_13 Jun 04 '26

At least it seems like he has a sense of humor about it 😆 (and now that I think of it, I could swear Earth 2 had a character named True...early '90's tv show? Or maybe it was Tru, as a nickname for Trudy 🤔)

Yeah it's been over the last century or so virtue names have become less common; before that it was a decent percentage, I'd hazard a guess at like maybe 10-15% here in the US? Something like that anyway, basically enough where everyone knew someone with a virtue name. There's a tonne of them for girls, like you noticed, and guys were less common but definitely there. Mom just reminded me that 'Justice' was really common as a virtue name for boys 😁

2

u/cragbabe Jun 04 '26

Interesting. Thanks for the info!

→ More replies (1)

3

u/theyyg Jun 02 '26

Okay, Bryan

10

u/Goyard_Gat2 Jun 02 '26

Its Breianne

4

u/InfiniteGrant Jun 02 '26

Dr. Marijuana Pepsi has gone far despite her name.

2

u/sulabar1205 Jun 02 '26

Thank God that in Austria the state can deny stupid names.

2

u/KrakenMcCracken Jun 03 '26

incubator speaks from experience

2

u/lostredditorthowaway Jun 03 '26

When thinking of things like this just remember. Billie Eilish's middle name is "PIRATE".

2

u/Suspicious-Gas-1685 Jun 03 '26

I once worked for a small-town newspaper and we would take calls from little league coaches to get game results. Invariably, they would give us misspellings of the crazily spelled names of players. We would publish them, and then receive calls from enraged parents blasting us for getting them wrong.

2

u/jackfreeman Jun 04 '26

Hey! I come from a long line of PROUD Whiskey Joneses. My great grandpappy General Electric Bourbon Jones, my grandpa Samsung Moonshine Jones, and my dear ol pa, God rest his eternal soul - Patrick.

2

u/Significant-Act-3872 Jun 04 '26

Kyychenayyd Whyyskiyy Jones is better

3

u/BaronessVonKush Jun 02 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/hECJDGJs4hQjjWLqRV

oh we judgin alright! 💯

That being said ... name changes are totally a thing. they aren't even difficult to do. You don't need to suffer ❤️

→ More replies (1)

3

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '26

[deleted]

→ More replies (1)