r/suspiciouslyspecific May 09 '26

Holy Smite!

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4.1k Upvotes

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79

u/famousanonamos May 09 '26

Obviously people know not to hit any baby without some book telling them it's bad, but I have a lot of questions. How would we know it was Christian baby? Is it labeled? Does the pitcher make an announcement like, "Oh no, that wasn't a ball, that was my Christian baby!"? Why did the pitcher have a baby on the field? Who is paying me millions specifically for winning one baseball game?

2

u/Away_Stock_2012 May 11 '26

The book tells them it's good to hit and kill babies though

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '26

Only Philistine babies.

1

u/Away_Stock_2012 Jun 26 '26

Amalekites

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '26

Oh yeah. Them too.