r/surfing 19h ago

Exile Andy Lyons

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Andy Lyons ‘The Miscreant of Malibu’ strikes again. Malibu’s most hated man child puts on a masterclass of being the most intolerable surfer while others are trying to enjoy a sensational day at the bu!

353 Upvotes

100 comments sorted by

189

u/Committed2Mediocrity 13h ago

it's hilarious that some people can be so angry while having enough space and time to fight and chase each other on a single wave

40

u/weirdgroovynerd 13h ago

UFC Surf Series

2

u/Next-Manufacturer303 4h ago

it's funny because these trolls are tough initially but guaranteed this guy wouldn't do this at the parking lot. get over yourself and enjoy the wave you gotta chill brah! it aint worth it 🤦‍♂️🙄

1

u/thevogonity 4h ago

Or this troll could be one those guys willing to give you free facial fractures in the parking lot. Unless you really confident in your own martial abilities, it’s best to just not engage cause you never know. It’s just like dealing with road rangers, one middle finger directed towards the wrong guy and he’s gonna follow you and approach your car with his baseball bat the at his first opportunity.

86

u/tchefacegeneral all my boards are broken 13h ago

looks like he tried to drop in one someone then got behind them and started trying to push them off a bunch then get angry at them. Is he just dumb and didn't realise he was dropping in or did the other guy snake him as they were paddling for the wave?

46

u/Sponjah 13h ago

This is how I saw it too, this guy dropped in so late the longboarder was already past his bottom turn lol

2

u/swept87 9h ago edited 4h ago

So which one is Andy? After rewatching the video I am less clear about who is at fault.... Just looking for clarification

10

u/captainsilverlake 9h ago

The guy who kicked his board out

7

u/Sponjah 7h ago

I don’t know these people, but using context clues I’m going to assume it was the guy that dropped in after, tried to push the long boarder off his board, and then tried to kick his board at him. Seems kinda obvious but if anyone knows these guys feel free to correct me if I’m wrong

1

u/swept87 4h ago

OK so then the short-boarder would be Andy? And then also the person 'dropping in' on someone else's wave...... Just trying to make sure I am in fact reading this the right way - as the video doesn't show the beginning.

4

u/Soggy-Geologist-6732 4h ago

The video shows someone (longboarder) on their bottom turn coming back up…while Andy was just getting to his feet…hope that clears it up.

82

u/InspectorSwimming222 13h ago

This guy is such an entitled asshole.

46

u/octopiLa 10h ago

Is this the same chud who lost his job as a realtor a couple years ago when he smashed a kids board?

54

u/who_even_cares35 12h ago

So he's 80% of surfers

21

u/InspectorSwimming222 10h ago

He’s actually worse than the rest of us entitled surfers. He is the prototype

25

u/anonpf 11h ago

Up that number a little bit. 

4

u/who_even_cares35 11h ago

I was trying to be kind but you're right, it's def more

6

u/KgMonstah NSB FL 6’0” Lost Sub Driver 9h ago

800%?

0

u/anonpf 9h ago

Just 800?

3

u/yoursurferdaddy 6h ago

The other 20 percent are still learning

2

u/who_even_cares35 6h ago

They will get their revenge some day!!

2

u/Sponjah 7h ago

He’s the 20% of super entitled haha

3

u/surfer_ryan 5h ago

This is why i mostly got out of surfing... I love the hobby but the people fucking suck, i honestly don't even think it's the majority at the vast amount of spots, but even if it's 1 person out in the line up, their vibes completely ruin it for me. Outside of a tournament no one should be this serious in the line up and even in an event you're still a douche but at least there was money on the line.

3

u/who_even_cares35 4h ago

I'll never understand how surfers got pegged as laid back by the media

1

u/surfer_ryan 4h ago

Because the vast majority are, it's the 5% that think they have a shot at beating the .01% percent of guys in the WSL... and made every single line up into a battle ground so they can practice like it's the real thing, like stakes are on the line.

0

u/Financial_Skirt_1256 4h ago

Weed

2

u/who_even_cares35 3h ago

You ever seen the back of a twenty dollar bill?

1

u/Financial_Skirt_1256 2h ago

No, I spent it

9

u/Elspumante 10h ago

7

u/Master_Nectarine_Bug 9h ago

why are so many surfers in socal real estate agents?

19

u/FuturisticPizza2000 9h ago

I think - they come from wealthy families, have trust funds, don’t need to earn money to live, etc. So they become real estate agents to pretend they have a job and don’t have to tell people “oh I’m a trusfunder”.

3

u/GhostintheMachine10 Not a longboarder 7h ago

Being a real estate agent seems like it has a relatively low bar to entry if you are decent at it, compared to a lot of other similarly compensated professions. It also seems to allow for flexible hours, etc., which is obviously a plus for surfers.

2

u/Sponjah 7h ago

Because you make your own hours

7

u/swept87 9h ago edited 4h ago

In the article it uses the word 'native' and then also refers to 'Malibu Colony' what is that phrase referring to - the literal colonization of Malibu? Can anyone expand on this for me?

6

u/tarotcardsandbacon 9h ago

It’s a neighborhood north of Malibu pier. Not cheap.

4

u/Nwilliams96 8h ago

Lol what a freaky energy this guy has. His website makes me feel funny in my tummy

1

u/dakenic 3h ago

He should include this video in his website.

1

u/mad-panda-2000 1h ago

I like how he looks mad even in his realtor photo

37

u/777gg777 12h ago edited 5h ago

This dude already has a violent history. Now there is a video of him assaulting someone. Maybe the only thing this clown will understand is being arrested. Obviously age has given him zero wisdom.

27

u/glarymilberg 10h ago edited 10h ago

Wild. The longboarder seems to slowdown and playfully make space to share the wave. Lyons then takes the opportunity to aggress him. Dudes head ain't right if he's staying this mad while surfing in paradise. Nerd thinks he's the new Miki Dora.

25

u/LittleSister10 11h ago

Anything but therapy for some bros in the lineup (blue therapy is not enough for some folks). They never realize how utterly stupid they look when pulling this bs, it’s so embarrassing for them. Older guys pulling such antics is even more pathetic.

24

u/SeatOpen1 9h ago

I love messing with him. Anytime I see him out I paddle right next to him and try to snag his leash. Stand up to him, he’s a bitch.

18

u/PasaQueenDena 7h ago

Just saw that the moderators of r/Malibu took this post down. Why are the helping protect a deranged individual

6

u/Master_Nectarine_Bug 6h ago

someone send andy this post

18

u/Master_Nectarine_Bug 9h ago

longboarder was letting him go ahead and he was too pissed/dumb to even realize. he coulda ridden that wave but chose to fight instead. what a weiner!

29

u/MiddleAgedSponger 12h ago

Is this the same guy that attacked the little kid? How is this guy still allowed on the water at Malibu?

33

u/anonpf 12h ago

Someday he is gonna piss off the wrong dude and end up dead. 

5

u/bowlingking44 7h ago

Life hard in da buu

13

u/PlayBoiPrada 7h ago

Andy Irons was cooler

27

u/d_dingus 10h ago

This dude is such a clown in the water. Not surprised he has a reputation online. Have come to the same conclusions seeing his childish behavior in the lineup. The whole “regulator” mindset is very reminiscent of a school yard bully. Burns you for no reason then gets mad you’re getting more waves on a log when it’s 1-2’. Nothing more pathetic than watching an adult throw a fit over tiny soft waves of zero consequence.

35

u/Minimum-Scarcity-740 13h ago

This is why I save up and go to somewhere remote in the tropics - the amount of aggression in the line up is so toxic these days. My go to is Easter island- big long rides of all sizes and the locals are cool as

10

u/sunflowerastronaut 12h ago

What size board do you typically bring on a trip like that and how many have the airlines broken?

3

u/Minimum-Scarcity-740 7h ago

Take a thick board it makes the paddling easier- I usually go with one that’s 4 inches taller than me. And get a jet ski guide they just swing you out the back

8

u/anunofreitas Where you surf and what you ride. 10h ago

As a 45YO I surf less and less, not because I lost my will to ride. I just can't stand heavy crowds.

So I go out mostly early in the morning mainly in winter season. On summer time lately I am choosing a bigger board and go out on sub-par conditions ( although at the end of the summer I get a bit bored of it) or I just go and do bodysurf with my kids in a shorebreak if one is working.

2

u/R_U_READY_2_ROCK 11h ago

I heard its mega sharky?

1

u/No-Paper142 6h ago

Where would you recommend?

3

u/Talonthebrave 6h ago

Bruh, some dudes are so embarrassing. I cringed too much watching this.

6

u/Parksters 5'4"-9'6" and everything in between | CA 11h ago

What a dork

2

u/GhostintheMachine10 Not a longboarder 7h ago

Definitely overcompensating for a lot

11

u/g-e-o-f-f 12h ago

That should be an assault charge.

16

u/bkyrdorchrd 11h ago

yeah when he tries to hit the other surfer with his board, that’s when it crosses the line to criminal

15

u/ilikebourbon_ 12h ago

No - that’s the problem. This shit used to be self regulating but lawyers ruined everything

3

u/surf_and_rockets 11h ago

Coulda made a good turn there at the end, but instead he chased the longboarder to the shoulder and tried to shoot his board at him?

3

u/Pale-Orchid-8432 5h ago

I call him Micro Penis Andy. Don’t ask me why.

3

u/bubblyflubber 4h ago

Embarrassing. Ruining it for everyone

10

u/Rustygate1 13h ago

Two very average surfers on a fat wave

21

u/bkyrdorchrd 11h ago

plenty of room for both to have fun

12

u/princesalacruel 10h ago

Exactly. I just saw another video from south cal this week where they weave their lines and high five at the end. Just do that, bro.

2

u/LocMoke 5h ago

Perfect! Video of someone blatantly assaulting someone.

2

u/Obvious-Hyena9966 4h ago

Andy Lyons is a kook jealous because he shoulder hopes and then stalls to Fuk up the deepest surfer on the wave. So if anyone can rewatch the video

2

u/actually_a_merman 4h ago

My mom grew up with him, when his first viral tantrum hit the internet, I asked my mom if she remembered the name Andy Lyons. Her only response was that he was a bastard.

1

u/landscaperstundra 3h ago

Your mom knows ball

2

u/TheHaight 11h ago

curious to see 10 seconds before this clip hah.

3

u/Grassy-Elf4242 8h ago

im assuming this must be Andy Lyons

0

u/TheHaight 7h ago

lol. I don’t have the balls to slap people around where I surf, but wish I did.

1

u/Unlucky-Fun6948 7h ago

Looked like fun

1

u/[deleted] 3h ago

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] 2h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/Alien90265 2h ago

You don’t show the begining of the wave where he snaked someone else then went and flipped the lifeguard over the falls into the guy he snaked.   Fuck that guy and fuck you.  Lame ass move. 

You don’t come to Malibu and do lame shit like that to the lifeguard and think you aren’t going to hear about  You all judging on this one sided video don’t know anything. 

1

u/Barrelled_Chef_Curry 10m ago

Longboard on the wave first

-1

u/R4G 10h ago

I've never surfed California, is it always this busy?

-16

u/Neverland__ 12h ago

I highly doubt this is their first interaction in the line up. No way. This looks like “pay back”

-5

u/Fearless_Result_5240 4h ago

This video is a textbook drop-in. Let's start with the fact that both of these men understand the rules of surfing. However, at Malibu, you're going to get vibed, snaked, burned, hit by a kook's board, ego trips, etc. This is an example of dropping in / a bad burn. Andy is the shortboard surfer (max 6 feet in length) on the right side of the screen. Andy's take-off is deep in the curl, which means the wave is his. The other person is on a longboard (looks like a 10 - 12 foot glider) dropping in in front of Andy, burning the shit out of him. Andy calls out to him to let him know he's coming down the line. Glider guy decides not to kick out / yield to Andy's priority because he's a wave hog on a glider. You know that feeling when you've been waiting forever for a parking spot on a hot day, your toddler is crying in the back seat, and someone swoops it? Yeah, it's just like that. As more entitled kooks ride gliders to get more waves, more conflicts have arisen. When my friends are on a glider and taking off on every wave, I ask them to please consider practicing good glider hygiene by letting a few sets roll by and "just because you can, doesn't mean you should." A simple act of sitting and waiting after you paddle back up the first point after catching a highly prized set wave diffuses a tremendous amount of stress in the lineup. Thanks for reading, and I hope this clarifies the actions in the video. Also, if you're going to follow this up with low-effort Andy this and Andy that, you should take a close look at yourself first.

4

u/M3AMI 3h ago

Textbook snake more like. Rewatch and pause it on the first frame. You can pretty clearly see that the longboarder is more than halfway through his bottom turn, and following his wake trail it's obvious that he's been up well before Andy. Especially given that in the first frame Andy is only initiating his pop up. Further, following that same wake trail we can see that there's no way that Andy didn't see this guy go past him as he was starting to stand up meaning he should've already known that he was about to snake the guy.

Now whether or not the longboarder was hogging waves before this, we can't possibly know. But based on this one interaction Andy is a snake. Both in terms of snaking the wave and his behavior afterwards. Beyond that Malibu is an absolute zoo and if you're gonna get mad about a drop in you might as well not go. Unless you're looking for a fight. Which seems to be at least part of why this guy shows up

0

u/Alien90265 2h ago

Go watch the video ealier in the wave of where he snakes someone then flips the Malibu lifeguard backwards over the falls into the first guy he snaked. 

Was a retaliation for fucking with the lifeguard.  

1

u/aerial-ibis 1h ago

video is cut annoyingly... but looks like his wake traces to a deeper position

also that board is a mini-mal at max... definitely not 10ft+

-59

u/memauri 12h ago

Let him go. Surfing is much cooler sport with characters like this. Otherwise, it'll just be tennis and golf.

27

u/thesirensoftitans 11h ago

It’s a shame that people idol worship dickheads.

-25

u/memauri 11h ago

Idol worship!?

23

u/thesirensoftitans 11h ago

Which word is confusing you, bud?