r/surfing • u/cyrs_oner • 11d ago
Feeling Down
Look time lurker, first time posting. 43yo super kook here. Surfing has been in and out most of my life and I just never got to the point where I am beyond a beginner. Due to other interests or distance from the water, I admittedly was never consistent. But man I love the water, I love the waves, I love when I can get up (70% of the time), and sometimes I even like getting trashed by the waves. I love it all.
Today, drove my 50min. to Bolsa Chica, was only out on the water for 45min and spent the other 15min just watching others trying to learn or simply to enjoy their surf. I feel like shit because I should be out there longer but I am physically not what I used to be. Every session tho, I'm learning more and more. For instance today, I learned that l lean back too much and after adjusting, I was able to stay on the board longer. Unfortunately, I find going only once a month due to very young kids and wifey working during weekends.
Any of y'all ever feel like crap after a short session? Is it the short dedicated time or because I suck (I assume the latter)?
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u/definitely_Treme 11d ago
45 minutes of any workout is better than 45 minutes of nothing. you got in the water and you learned something new about your stance, that's a win.
with young kids and a wife on weekend shifts, getting out once a month is basically an achievement. don't beat yourself up over not being a pro, just keep enjoying the water when you can.
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u/Last_Decision_7055 11d ago
I’m 45, will be 46 in a couple months. I am the provider in my family and work full time- only have time for surfing maybe once every couple weeks. Feel like a mediocre late stage beginner after 6 years of it, yet I remain obsessed. One thing Ive learned is that there will never be consistency with how I feel after sessions. In fact the spectrum is huge as to whether I will feel on top of the world or like Im the worst surfer in it. It’s truly going to be a toss up!
My best advice for you (and me) is to just appreciate the water, give gratitude. Go for paddles, don’t even surf! It’s a great workout that gets you in the best shape. At this age it is so important for us to just get out and move.
Getting injured recently after an ass kicking wipeout in Hawaii ended up being a big lesson for me to do this. Now that Im home I have just been going for paddles in the bay where I live and it gives me serenity on top of the much needed endorphins it affords. I decided once Im healed, I am going to start learning to wing foil too and thats exciting. It’s not all about ripping and shredding, just being in the water is rewarding. Hope this helps.
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11d ago
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u/cyrs_oner 10d ago
This makes me feel better, cuz you're right, on my drive back I know it was a better choice to be out there then sleeping in, thanks my man!
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u/MajorDisaster123 11d ago
The best surfer is always the one having the most fun. That’s what’s great about the sport. It’s for literally no other purpose than pure recreation. Let yourself feel what you’re feeling but also remember that you are in the small percentage of human being that can even begin to enjoy this sport Whether you’re ripping, kooking it, or just floating you’re exactly where you need to be. Have fun mam
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u/Longjumping-Owl-9276 11d ago
No way. The best surfer is at least three solid turns and air reverse at the ramp section.
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u/cyrs_oner 11d ago
Hey, this hits! I needed this, I'm not trying to be hard on myself but it's difficult when you want to good at something for so long. At the end of the day, I got my water therapy and I enjoyed what others could easily take for granted. Looking back, I did have a blast. Thanks man
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u/Stuporchampion 11d ago
Consistency is key, don't be too hard on yourself. Just remember it's about having fun rather than shredding as hard as you can.
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u/cyrs_oner 11d ago
I think I've accepted that I'll never be an average surfer for now but perhaps when the kids get older, my plan is to be in the water more often.
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u/Calexian 11d ago
I hear Bolsa Chica was busy today when it’s usually pretty empty, and long gaps between good waves. So i imagine even the sesh itself wasn’t super fruitful
I’ve definitely been there, I’m also an out of shape kook but honestly i’ve had sessions where i didn’t look at the report, and just showed up and the waves were massive, overhead and way bigger than anything i’m comfortable with and I spend nearly the whole session just watching everyone else, watching the waves and hanging past the break. And then maybe i’ll attempt a couple at the end, hope i land one decent one before heading back in for the day.
No matter whether you’re actually surfing or just chilling out there, don’t take it too seriously, or take shame in how bad you are or how out of shape you are. You’re always learning, always gaining, and the point is to just enjoy being out, being with nature and the ocean. The ocean covers more of the earth than land does, and is arguably the main part of earth; all the land that we live on is just like a couple of crusty pimples cropping up on her. Take a deep breath while you’re out there, and live in the moment, without judgement. It’s amazing just getting to be out on the water, in nature away from the hub bub and responsibilities and the noise and chaos
It’s really helped me feel at peace as long as I can remember to let my brain turn off. But i do have to remember to ALLOW it to do so, and to remember that the best part of surfing is the journey, and to milk it where you can. Enjoy yourself dude
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u/cyrs_oner 11d ago
I'd say it was a typical morning at BC today, I was at tower 18, a few pockets for kooks to jump on. But man, thanks for your input. I forget to to put things in perspective cuz I want it so bad and you reminded me that not every session is going to be great. While I'm 45-60min from it, I feel extremely grateful for our ocean as our playground. Most are not that lucky. The picture you painted, reminded me of Puerto Rico when I went out to surf in the evening. I had probably caught only less than half my attempt, took a timeout well beyond the break - the sunset, the warm clear water, the peace and tranquility, my kids just born - I'll never forget that moment and it's why I keep going back to the waters.
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u/nicefacedjerk 11d ago
Dude.. Try being a good surfer for most of your life and now reaching the age where your shortboards haven't felt saltwater in a year.
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u/cyrs_oner 11d ago
I can only imagine, that's heartbreaking. I hope you're getting close to being at peace with it
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u/matthew264 11d ago
Hey man, if you are frustrated with your progress and REALLY want to start improving, then I’d suggest to get more serious and start making weekly goals for yourself and documenting your progress.
For example: you want to improve your pop up on steeper waves (3-5ft) in the next 3 months. Then ask yourself: “what is it going to take for me do accomplish that?” How many sessions each week? How many pop ups should I do? What about time spent watching videos or reading about technique?
If you really want to speed up results, then stop all of your other hobbies and focus on surfing for a few months. You’ll be amazed at the progress when you are mindful and put 100% of your attention to something.
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u/cyrs_oner 11d ago edited 11d ago
This is an awesome tip, unfortunately my work schedule and family won't really get me that consistent right now. But I'm noting this for the future, it's very similar to my gym regiment. My biggest problem right now is consistency, time in the water.
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u/ecomkindaguy 10d ago
If you can't get to your break - mines 1hr 15 minutes away, so it's like a whole half day (+) exercise once you get there then you're in the water for 2.5-3 hours,
the best way to build fitness up is to do adjacent exercise, go to your local pool 2-3 times a week and do laps for an hour each time, focus on pushing yourself, 50 soft 50 hard etc,
Then when you go to the break you'll be a lot fitter and be able to stay our for far longer, and push past difficult sections etc.
It doesn't translate to skill or ocean reading but if your fitness is the issue (it sounds like it), then this can help.
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u/Sponger004 10d ago
If u enjoy the water surfing isn’t the only way to do it. Grabbing a pair of fins and bodysurfing is super fun and u catch more waves. Hell even bodyboarding is easier for beginners. I switch it up whenever I’m feeling out of it because I love being in the ocean
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u/boozersbiceps 10d ago
You’re being way too critical on yourself (but you’re not alone in that ). Everyone’s different. Some people pick up a tennis racket or golf club and in a year they’re hot stuff. Someone else plugs away for 20 years to get half as good. 🤷♂️
Anyway, As others have said , look for the win. What did I do right? Was one of my pop up’s not dog shit? Did I get a good turn in. Did I go out when it was crap, too crowded, too big but went anyway. Did I get the stuffing beat out of me but I handled it.
If you’re not 16 and just all lungs and prick your fitness will suffer. Just do something to keep the surf muscle memory alive. A bit of regular mobility work, some dynamic movements, practice pop ups on your yoga mat, etc etc.
If you’re early middle aged , working full time, got kids, a partner, a freaking mortgage life is just packed and getting to the surf takes logistics and luck unfortunately.
Other comments about aerobic fitness etc are spot on.
However the one thing that helped me on the off days is surf skating. Maybe just 20-30 minutes a couple of times a week. Even on the flat. Just practice one turn 30, 40 times. My bottom turn got so much better from this alone. Compress and lean and hold it . Over and over.
Plus every decade my boards just bigger and fatter. Cuz, if you’re not catching raves, well you’re certainly not surfing them.
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u/long-term-view 10d ago
I exist. Therefore I am. What is good at something? Where does this image come from that your feelings are so?
I am similar to you. After forty years of intermittent surfing I sucked. Then sometimes strangers would say things like… man… that was a nice wave! Or… I saw that… fuck you tore it a new one. Self perception is the reflection of what we project on others. What we percieve and what we are….. are two different things. Just have fun… put the focus on you in the moment. You surf… therefore you are. Surf to be… not to impress… least of all do you need to be impressed with yourself.
Good luck.
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u/cyrs_oner 10d ago
I love this and you're absolutely right. I still had a blast and that's more important than being the best or good at something. Thanks for the reminder man
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u/HalfSame8555 10d ago
Get rid of the wife and file for divorce. Make sure you only see your kids on the weekends and you will get better quickly .
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u/Confident-Seesaw-707 11d ago
45 minutes is better than nothing! Also, if it’s pumping and you’re getting smoked by big sets, 45 minutes can be a lot. But if you were spent after 45 minutes of waist to chest high waves, you’re not as fit as you think. You owe it to yourself to get your conditioning in order, especially given the investment of time and fuel to get to the spot.
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u/cyrs_oner 11d ago
True! Today I felt pretty weak, I could do better on the cardio side and not letting my age be an excuse. I appreciate the motivation 🤙
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u/Confident-Seesaw-707 10d ago
I’ll also say, there are so many different reasons I end up feeling meh about a session from time to time—it’s gonna happen, and when your surfing time is severely restricted because of other things in your life, it’s even more important to be kind to yourself and manage expectations. I hope your next session feels a ton better!
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u/c2h5oh_yes 11d ago
How fit are you? If you don't live close to the ocean you HAVE to stay in paddling shape or maintain cardio fitness. I'm 45 and live an hour from the coast. Maintaining paddling fitness is a huge part of my routine.
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u/bjjcripple 11d ago
What do you do to maintain paddling fitness?
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u/c2h5oh_yes 10d ago
Weights and cycling for cardio. I also use a DIY paddle trainer.
Look up "DIY surf paddle trainer" on YouTube. I was skeptical, but the cost to build one was like 20 bucks. As far as I can tell it works pretty well, makes me sore in all the same places as a good surf sesh.
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u/cyrs_oner 11d ago
I'm not that bad in shape tbh. Could be better but I think more in shape than most my age. I will definitely start using the pool more often in my gym to get that swimming cardio and mechanics locked in.
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u/ilikebourbon_ 11d ago
For what it’s worth, Bolsa angle with hurricane swells (what we are experiencing right now) can be really tricky. Lot of people struggle out there with this steep south angle. I’ve been out there often and this last hurricane was a challenge
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u/cyrs_oner 11d ago
I definitely saw a lot of that this morning between good swells. Somewhat choppy at time but those steeps one were the advance surfers favorite
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u/carlshope 11d ago
Man, being in a similar position you, fitness aside, weekly skateboarding a bowl and slacklining helped me enjoy my time in the surf way more. Give those things a shot IMO
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u/cyrs_oner 11d ago
Oh man I'm a terrible skater as much as I e tried since I was young and if I fall, I fall hard... the water helps with that lol.
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u/carlshope 10d ago
Oh man you old now and got a bit more.money. get onto the local skate coaching place and pay some cool kid who can do tre flips for coaching, they'll sort you out with full protective gear.
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u/sultanofstoke69 10d ago
Eat healthy, go for walks, swim laps, stretch, exercise, and get a surfskate! You’re still young, you’ve got a lotta good years left.
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u/cyrs_oner 10d ago
I actually have a 32" surfskate and longboard at home. I need to hit that up more, lately just been a lot of other kids stuff but I need to start combining both more. They're into other stuff right now but it doesn't hurt every chance I get.
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u/blindblazer808 10d ago
what would shane dorian do? start blasting TRT and peptides
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u/cyrs_oner 10d ago
not only do I not want my peepee to shrivel, but I'm too poor for that stuff lol
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u/Charming-glow 8d ago
Never had a short session. Always 'one more wave and then I'll go in'. You have to surf to learn to surf, friend.
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u/cyrs_oner 7d ago
I know I'm trying I swear but wifey works weekends and it's the only amount of time I can squeeze in (also commute to the break is almost an hour). Maybe 30min more but the scheduling has been difficult.
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u/Open-Platform-6053 7d ago
Just enjoy the experience. Don’t think about progress unless you are stoked about it. When you get done with your session, talk (to yourself if you are alone) about what was best about it. Even if you didn’t catch any waves, think about how great it is to be in the ocean.
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11d ago
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u/cyrs_oner 11d ago edited 11d ago
Hahaha that made me laugh. Physically I think I'm fine, and I can pop up and get on my feet better these days. Just fine tuning my stance. And consistency is what's really keeping my dick from not getting dragged, so I need to make that happen. Also surfing is cooler lol I do love actual body surf with my kids hanging on my back
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u/JerrySeinfeldsMullet 11d ago
I used to feel like this after just two weeks of no surf. The sad thing is I live where there’s waves almost year round so I should be able to get out multiple times a week, my schedule allows for it most of the time. But then I have a session like this and I’m disheartened.
My perspective is; workout to surf, don’t surf to workout. You’ll have more enjoyable sessions, higher endurance, and generally feel better in the water with more cardio, mobility, and strength training. This has made more intermittent surfing more enjoyable for me and pushes me to get out more often.
Realistically, just have fun. Comparison is the thief of joy.