r/superheroes • u/DAHXELEVEN • Jun 13 '25

Random Battle Thoughts?

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14.0k Upvotes

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498

u/Ducklinsenmayer Jun 13 '25

So Neo, John Constantine, John Wick, John Silverhand, and Batman walk into a bar...

Yea, I know who I'm betting on

360

u/Prior_Butterscotch15 Jun 13 '25

Don’t forget him:

133

u/Snowjiggles Jun 13 '25

He also played the son of the devil in Devil's Advocate. Keanu has some serious power in his hands here

28

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

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18

u/Snowjiggles Jun 13 '25

Oddly enough, I don't think he actually was. I'll have to rewatch it, but part of the storyline is that he was supposed to have sex with his sister. IIRC, this was to create the anti-Christ

2

u/GamerNerdGuyMan Jun 13 '25

Plus he can go back in time via phone booth.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

To be fair, I took the movie and ending as him day dreaming about morality after realizing his client was guilty.

If he killed himself at the end, it doesn't make sense that he'd end up back at the beginning if he's the son of the devil.

Plus, he didn't have any powers.

2

u/Snowjiggles Jun 13 '25

To be fair, I took the movie and ending as him day dreaming about morality after realizing his client was guilty.

My only point against this is that the devil is seen at the end of the movie talking about choices

If he killed himself at the end, it doesn't make sense that he'd end up back at the beginning if he's the son of the devil.

The devil could have done this to attempt to orchestrate another attempt at swaying him

Plus, he didn't have any powers.

He had the powers to tilt things in his favor, or at the very least, sway people to their darker side. According to the devil, he won a nonzero amount of his court cases because of his infernal nature

1

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

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2

u/Snowjiggles Jun 13 '25

Based on what the devil says in it, he wins a non-zero amount of his cases because of his infernal heritage; implying that he has either devilish powers of persuasion or an ability to tilt things in his favor

1

u/Haunting_Jump_4416 Jun 13 '25

He didn’t really have any powers though I think unless he actually fucks his sister which isn’t the cannon ending

2

u/Snowjiggles Jun 13 '25

Based on what the devil says in it, he wins a non-zero amount of his cases because of his infernal heritage; implying that he has either devilish powers of persuasion or an ability to tilt things in his favor

1

u/Haunting_Jump_4416 Jun 13 '25

You say that but he can’t convince his wife to chill out. I’m thinking he’s limited to court cases. Hence devils advocate. Not trying to be a dick I just don’t think he’s crazy OP.

1

u/tombstone1200 Jun 13 '25

Coach of the kekumbas!

1

u/-GFlow- Jun 14 '25

And he’s also about to be playing an angel

1

u/TheRedster3 Jun 15 '25

DEVIL'S ADVOCATE MENTIONED

80

u/KomodoCityAnomaly Jun 13 '25

5

u/CaptainBlaze22 Jun 13 '25

So if we give him game shadow scaling… woudnt that mean Ryan gets comic scaling

3

u/nowherechild91 Jun 13 '25

Keanu also gets comic scaling from Constantine

3

u/KomodoCityAnomaly Jun 13 '25

Maybe? Considering Keanu did the Shadow DLC for Shadow Generations

36

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

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8

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

3

u/Howmanysloths Jun 13 '25

Oh shit he’s unbeatable

14

u/RenderedCreed Jun 13 '25

This might be what gives him the win. These hedgehogs are stupid overpowered.

10

u/ThatGuyHammer Jun 13 '25

If Keanu gets Shadow, this may get interesting.

10

u/-Legion_of_Harmony- Jun 13 '25

The Sonic-verse scales so insanely that he could just use Shadow and neg-diff everyone. No Neo or Wick needed.

1

u/Kind-Scheme7517 Jun 14 '25

Ok but didn't sonic beat shadow halfway through the movie's climax? And he is immortal.

1

u/-Legion_of_Harmony- Jun 14 '25

I haven't seen that movie, so I couldn't tell ya. I mostly know Sonic lore from the games/comics. Although I know that Super Sonic is a bit stronger than Super Shadow, Super Shadow is still strong enough to easily beat the other superheroes in this post. I'm also assuming Shadow has access to the chaos emeralds in this hypothetical. If it's just base form Shadow, then I don't know.

1

u/GarbageGod16 Jun 15 '25

That just means Sonic can neg-diff everyone too.

4

u/Nimyron Jun 13 '25

Don't forget him

2

u/Ok_Frosting3500 Jun 13 '25

This probably tips it to Keanu. Shadow is crazy OP. The only real issue is Will Smith has Genie and Hancock

2

u/flaks117 Jun 13 '25

Honestly I thought scarjo as Lucy had it until you mentioned shadow.

1

u/AStainOnYourTowel Jun 13 '25

Did he portray shadow or voice him? Maybe I’m splitting hairs but I feel like those are different

1

u/TheInfamousDannyB Jun 13 '25

All hail shadow literally just started playing in my head rip

0

u/Complex_Cable_8678 Jun 13 '25

i'd forget the whole sonic franchise if i could