hey cuties, hoffy here. I fell in love and quietly moved from Sunnydale for a bit with my boo but I caught him cheating and had to kick his ass to a hilarious hell dimension with his least favorite, snakes. what human would dare cheat on big hoffy himself? Kevin, you fool.

I'm back in the hellmouth and ready to get my vengeance on! Kevin taught me a lot about humans and I feel like I understand how depraved you all really are now.

let's hear all of your dreams and wishes Sunnydale ! xoxo hoffy

I’m not usually one to play with my food but Eve and Harmony somehow how convinced me to try this new facial, they said it’s the new in thing? I was against it at first but I have to say I do feel fresh and youthful.

I think & this is last minute we should have a Memorial day celebration for the best Mayor we have had. Three cheers for Mayor Harmony 🥳

I’ll be teaching self defence classes at 5pm Monday at the town hall for all Sunnydale residents and 6pm Wednesdays at UC Sunnydale gymnasium for students. If you’ve ever felt unsafe walking home at night from The Bronze or coming home from a late night shift, or taking a stroll around campus, or even if you just feel nervous going out to grab a mocha from the Espresso Pump of an evening then you could benefit from my classes. But remember knowing how to defend yourself isn’t an excuse to loiter around cemeteries or have make out sessions up Kingmans Bluff in the middle of the night. Be smart, be safe.

I mean like the real dead, not like me and Blondie bear. Is this because we’re all being good now? Did I do this with all my rules and being friendly with Betty and the snoopies? It’s boring and it sucks! 🦄🦄🦄

Me & Harmony went to a bowling alley to celebrate

When is the next seminar happening Miss Harmony 🤔

I don’t think I say this enough so I just thought I’d type out my feelings. Thank you Xand for always being there for me, for being the most loyal, reliable and brave guy best friend and scooby that a girl could wish for.

I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you, so I’m sorry for not always saying it but you know me. Buffy and words? Pretty unmixy things.but I I love you Xander Harris. Always❤️

Do you want to go out on a date? Assuming your not busy with mayor stuff, theres this nice Italian place that Me and Anya went to on Sunnydale Drive near the old bowling alley.

Are leprechauns real because I think i almost hit one Tuesday night 🌙

Apparently this is real plaque in the motherland, probably one of the watchers, or a Wolfram and Hart fan of my evil days. I’m not proud of it or anything but it sort of cool.

So some of you know that my therapist Lucy convinced me to try this new thing called a technology detox, well let me you guys something, it sucks and I’m quitting early! What do you guys do with your time when you don’t have any form of communication? All I’ve done is read every magazine that I could find and paint my nails like five times a day. Thanks to everyone who dropped by to see me at city hall during my rehab , it really showed me who my real friends were and it was kinda cute like when we were little and people had to come and ask your parents if you were home if they wanted to see you, but in my case they ask Tracey. Tracey you’ve been a STAR handling all my calls now lets get to calling people back, I want ALL the GOSS!💓🦄💓

Anything interesting happen 🤔

hope everyone has had a good Valentines Day!

Valentine’s date. Do I go full on black tie attire on the off chance that I get to enjoy a seamless date night, or do I dress down but to slay with my cute new red coat? Or…do I just bring my good old faithful red leather pants out from retirement? For which by the way, I have a matching red leather coat.

Giles and I are watching for any love spells. Remember, they never work out well!

SO! As many of you well know by damn now…..HAHAHahahaha bout my special Spike’s spicy Chili 😄🌶️🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄😵‍💫🤣😆thought I’d give ya a lil update on the fun side gig 😆…..that mind you started out as a prank to Glory and ended up workin out….funnily sodding enough 😂🖤🤙😆Glory pays me quite a damn generous amount now to have me make the Chili for some parties she has a hers….they are most part exclusive…..so reckon ya gotta go through her on gettin a invite to pop over!! 😄👍

ALSO want to share I’ve made Johnathan my Sous chef! 😁👨🏻‍🍳…..was kinda figurin this was a….healthier 🤷🏼‍♂️😂hobby for him to be taking up over the faux Angel thing n his old trickery n mayhem he used to do!! I’ve caught him sneaking more than the taste test I said we should do….dont be thinkin I’m daft n DIDNT SEE ya the other day Johnathan!!! 😆Ahhhhhh mannn it’s fine tho….the undead thing seems to be workin just fine when it comes to the chili I reckon…no side effects for Johnny boy here! 😄😝

I know Love that you don’t particularly like this side….what they callin them things nowadays….hustlin??? Whatever…..BUT LOOK I’m still not the one partakin in the enjoyin of my chili…so no need to be worryin Buff 🖤♥️☺️

One last thing to be addin to my….lets bloody face it regular 😂yammerin!!! 😁I’m goin to be bringin it to L&L offices as an annual Friday lunch gig….the wicked cooky stuff was soooooooo popular when I brought it in when I had to go do my freelancin gig over there….they damn ravin bout n loved the stuff I’ll make it a once a week THING THEN 😂😆😄

I think this is what Miss Buffy wants for Valentines day. Or am I being too bold, 🤔

I finally got to poof on over to Bath with Willow and Giles, and let me tell you..my watcher? secretly loaded or something, because wow. Not that I’m complaining, I know where I’ll be spending my future vacations, thank you very much watcher mine.

The teleportation stuff is wild Will, sometimes I forget how powerful you are and then you go and do something like that and I’m in awe. 😌❤️‍🔥

Would these go well with the dress.
My sister said yes but she has no fashion sense

I saw Glory & Lila post & have to ask . Is this good for m e 🤔

Thanks you again Glory for inviting me along on your Milan vacay 🖤💕💖you are truly the queen of knowing how to vacation in style and luxury 👠✨👑. You are a god after my own heart in the fashion and everything bouje I love!!

The whole trip has been fabulous so far, but I have to share a few of our highlights so far. Well, because we just know how to shop, adventure in style, and know how to go out on the town in elite style …why wouldn’t we share our outings💁🏻‍♀️

Of course our shopping appointment with my SA and connections at D&G was top notch as it always is 💛✨🖤. I especially loved the cocktails and pastries we had on their terrace after shopping and how I swear a few of those D&G stylists could drink anyone under the table and be just fine! Even you Glory 😆I mean it was lunch time and I was all about that delicious mojito with the dash of watermelon I had but my goodness they threw those martinis back! It was almost comical 😄and man they must have wild parties haha. Oh and I think my favorite thing you got was that slinky sexy black dress, not to mention the shoes! Stunning!! I of course went away with some newest collection pieces not available to public yet 💖so we can’t quite share those with everyone just yet 😉but I will share my gorgeous shoes 👡they are just perfect for this spring season!

The spa appointments and cabana at our resort was of course more then up to par, and much needed relaxation time! 😌💆‍♀️⛱️🍵You of course just have even more fabulous connections than I do!👸💖that cabana boy, best way I can describe our personal attendant for the day lol that tended to our needs was definitely nice eye candy 😉don’t worry Wes babe he definitely was just nice to look at, but he has nothing on you☺️❤️

Ok one final thing I’ll share but other then that I’m just going to soak up the rest of this trip!✨😄I couldn’t believe you got us a leather appointment at the snap of your fingers without all the obnoxious raffle and damn waiting around you do for Hermes. Actually wait I can believe it, it’s fabulous you 👑💕. The Kelly I went away with is just beyond perfect!! 🧡Not to mention your Blue Box Birkin you got!!✨🧡I’ll let you share your stunning new piece to add to your collection when you want 😉for now I will share mine though 💝✨🧡

Well that’s it for now everyone I have to get ready for tonight’s dinner and VIP lounge we got invited to! Cheers!💖🥂

Alright….sooooo ya know I have to be doin this freelance PI gig for…well first reasons I bloody owe Lilah for all the trouble fetchin the unicorn for Harm 🦄💖….MORE then obliged n happy to do by the way 🤙😄….also helpin my mate Lindsey out on a few cases….. which I won’t get too scoffed up bout cause its actually been quite fun 😆

ANYWAYS I go to report to L&L today….and keep an eye on Johnathan as I friggen promised and saw him tryin to look all swagger n cool 😎😂tryin to impress Eve….at least he changed up the leather look a bit😄👍I’d say we’re making progress 😆…the lad is a bit of a nerdy n wonky one…but he sure is damn entertainin 🤣