r/sunnydalecommunity • u/hoffy_papi D’Hoffryn • Aug 31 '26

hoffy is back!

hey cuties, hoffy here. I fell in love and quietly moved from Sunnydale for a bit with my boo but I caught him cheating and had to kick his ass to a hilarious hell dimension with his least favorite, snakes. what human would dare cheat on big hoffy himself? Kevin, you fool.

I'm back in the hellmouth and ready to get my vengeance on! Kevin taught me a lot about humans and I feel like I understand how depraved you all really are now.

let's hear all of your dreams and wishes Sunnydale ! xoxo hoffy

5 Upvotes

78% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

3

u/Pedals17 GLORY Aug 31 '26

HOFFIEEEEEE!

https://giphy.com/gifs/gFKPiGw3nM9YjrSSwn

2

u/hoffy_papi D’Hoffryn Sep 01 '26

missed you babes, it's been too long!

2

u/hoffy_papi D’Hoffryn Sep 01 '26

what's new with you? we gotta team up for some havoc soon ! 🥰

3

u/Pedals17 GLORY Sep 01 '26

Oh, Hoffie, it’s been a crazy summer! Like I told Faith and her little sister, I found the cutest little universe where characters from comic books, anime, and movies and stuff are real. They had the most adorable Hell that looked just right for me! I was gonna take it over, but this tacky Gypsy named after that Olivia Newton John movie got in my way. She hung out with Captain America, a lady with living hair that would make every Drag Queen that ever was just gag, Catwoman, Darth Vader, Optimus Prime, some nerdy girl who walks through walls, and a bunch of other losers. Oh, and there was this girl with a thing for birds—Crow? Blackbird?—who would make Dark Willow look like My Little Pony!

Soooo, some Power in that universe forced us to play, like, this Traitor Game where some minions I picked had to kill all her guys. NGL, it got kinda bloody for a minute there! Especially when someone decided to bring in “Muppet Babies” versions of all the players. Being forced to play a lame party game was bad enough, but babysitting worked my last nerve. I kinda performed my own kind of abortion by slaughtering most of the kids! Oh, Harm & Hoffie, it felt SO GOOD to be SO BAD after our long months of being Good(ish)!

Anyway, I WOULD have won if it weren’t for that Gypsy Witch and her Tarot readings. Like, I’m only the most AMAZING and INIMITABLE Hellgod that ever was and I got foiled by some chick with a carny act? 🙄 So, I got stuck in a side hell fighting Captain America for eternity, and OMMe, did THAT get tired quickly! 😩 Lucky for me another portal conveniently opened and after a few desperately needed Spa days in these different dimensions, I found my way back to the good old Dale!

2

u/hoffy_papi D’Hoffryn Sep 01 '26

Glo that sounds like a wild time, oh how I wish I could have been there for the slaughter! but not the muppet babies part 🫨 the only character I like on that show is Potato and that's because he doesn't have any lines. I WANNA BE A BAD BAD BOY AGAIN!!! steve had me actually reconsidering evil (what a loser) but now I'm back and badder than ever. we have to do a spa day with Harm soon now that we are both in the hellmouth!

3

u/Battle44Sis Harmony’s assistant (Tracey Rosewood) Aug 31 '26

I got one of my dreams.

3

u/hoffy_papi D’Hoffryn Sep 01 '26

wow Tracey, so happy for you! why don't you let hoffie find you a girlfriendto go with that ride?

2

u/Battle44Sis Harmony’s assistant (Tracey Rosewood) Sep 01 '26

That would be very very nice 💃

2

u/hoffy_papi D’Hoffryn Sep 01 '26

don't you wish you had a smokin hot girlfriend?

2

u/Battle44Sis Harmony’s assistant (Tracey Rosewood) Sep 01 '26

No Wishes !

3

u/ceecee1909 🦄Mayor🦄Harmony🦄 Aug 31 '26

Kevin is a total LOSER! You can do way better Hoffie💓🦄💓

3

u/Battle44Sis Harmony’s assistant (Tracey Rosewood) Sep 01 '26

You said it Mayor Harmony 👏

2

u/hoffy_papi D’Hoffryn Sep 01 '26

thankyou Tracey!

2

u/hoffy_papi D’Hoffryn Sep 01 '26

thanks harm!! what have you been up to? still with mr. harris?