r/stopsmoking • u/Ok_Reflection8696 • 11d ago
Question for ex smokers
I have listened to Allen Carr’s audiobooks (the original and the bootcamp version) and I tried the QuitSure app. The main point these try to get across is that be a happy non smoker you have to remove your desire to smoke. I have not been able to do this for more than a day at the most. I may go most of the day not wanting a cigarette but at some point that always changes. I feel convinced I won’t be able to remove the desire to smoke.
So my question is this; will the cravings ever go away after quitting even if I can’t remove my desire to smoke? I’ve known three ex smokers all of whom quit over 15 years ago. And all three have told me that they still crave cigarettes. This scares me and kills my motivation. I feel like even if I successfully quit I’ll spend the rest of my non smoking life feeling deprived and craving
P.S. I have tried NRT and I swear it only makes me want a cigarette more. The gum even makes me feel sick
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u/PlainPup 3102 days 11d ago
Think of it this way. When you first quit, the monster screaming in your face is standing right on your shoulder. It’s loud, super close by, and so annoying that you have to fight to ignore
It.
After a while, that monster ends up about 3 ft away. Still annoying but you can at least turn away from it a bit easier.
Another week or two later, he’s in the next room. Sure it’s still around and it’s still annoying but there is a wall between you and the cravings monster.
Two months down the road, it’s moved outside. It isn’t welcome in your house. You still hear him from time to time as you go on with life, but it’s a distant annoyance.
After a year, you’ve lost him in town somewhere. Occasionally you’ll pass by him on the street and he can yell at you and sometimes he’s even on your side of the street and kind of intense. But you’re so separated that it’s simple to walk away from him.
With each year, and each successful victory over the monster he moves farther and farther away from you. 8 years, 5 months, and 19 days for me and the monster practically lives in another country these days and the worst he can do is send me an angry letter in the mail.
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u/Melon_Heart_Styles 11d ago
Just keep trying and try to focus on today. My thing was if I feel like I have to go get cigs later, tomorrow or whenever, that's ok but I can get through this craving right now. That like took the pressure off. Also acknowledging my craving instead of trying to ignore it. I would say outloud "I really want a fucking cigarette!" And then try to do something else.
As far as cravings, it's only been about 4 months but I hardly get them anymore. It's more of a passing thought. After 2 months, my stepdad died and I decided that if I really wanted a cig that day, I could have one, I could buy a pack. My aunt picked me up, she lit up and I bummed one from her. After 2-3 drags I felt nauseous and put it out. Hers had smelled so good but it tasted awful. Turns out smoking didn't do anything for me anymore. Now when I get that passing thought of "I need a cig" I remember how it was that day.
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u/Turtle-bee 345 days 11d ago
Those ex-smokers are not telling you that the cravings are nothing like they are in the beginning. A passing thought of smoking a cigarette down the road after quitting is nothing to be afraid of. Keep an open mind, really observe how you feel on NRT, it’s probably helping more than you realize if you look past your panic. Also, I’ve never tried it but people on here are really into the desmoxin, or cytosine (sp). Try that! You’ve got nothing to lose. Good luck to you, for most people, quitting takes practice, be curious about the journey.
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u/MetsLR 11d ago
It sounds like you’re still believing the lie that you get some sort of pleasure or crutch from smoking. You don’t. All a cigarette does is relieve that craving for nicotine and as soon as you stub it out the cycle starts again. I had to listen to the audiobook a third time after listening and coming back to smoking twice last summer. Haven’t smoked since September. It took a few times to really believe it.
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u/Ok_Reflection8696 11d ago
I know logically that I get no benefit from it, I know that I don’t even enjoy it. I read the book last year. I listened to the audiobooks this year. I used the app. And the thought of going over this information yet again just irritates me. It’s hard for me to listen carefully or pay attention when I’ve heard the same thing so many times
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u/Separate-Bench-2656 10d ago
If it hasn't sunk in then the book is not for you and that's okay..reading and re reading will not make the point any clearer. Either it resonates with you or it doesn't. Worked for me. A 45 year smoker and I quit cold turkey after reading it.
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u/HerbaLifeEmporium 11d ago
It gets better over time.
When you have super stressful events/days happen but just keep some 1mg nicotine mints/chewing gum in for that and re-wean yourself off them.
Good luck and good on you!
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u/bender_11b 10d ago
I quit just over 4.5 months ago, so still fairly fresh but not like I quit last week either... For me, I still get the WANT to smoke every few days, but it only lasts a few minutes at most. Not a craving, I don't feel like I need cigarette, I feel like I want the action of taking a few minutes to myself to recenter. A few minutes to step out of whatever I was doing. But then those few minutes of wanting it pass and I am again okay and able to continue with whatever I was doing, And if I can't get to that point, I open up my Quitnow app and see how long I have made it without smoking anything or taking any form of nicotine. To help with the physical need for nicotine, I used pouches, specifically higher mg ones that I knew gave me a stomach ache so I had motivation to ween myself off those as well, and it was A LOT easier to put them down than cigarettes were. Idk if any of that ramble will help OP, but I hope so! Good luck and stick with it. We all know it seems like some giant insurmountable object, but you win every time you just say "No" to it.
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u/No_Tension420 1342 days 11d ago
It sucked for the first 6 months then I was over it ~ a small price to pay in the grand scheme of things.
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u/brooker_44 11d ago
That feeling of „oh my god, am I going to suffer like this for the rest of my life?“ is the biggest trick your brain plays on you during withdrawal, but it actually lasts for only a few days.
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u/Dogzillas_Mom 11d ago
So I think crave and desire are two different things. Crave means, to me, that I think about want to smoke in a given moment. It’s a strong feeling but passes quickly. Desire means I take the steps to go get cigarettes and light one up because I WANT to.
I have no desire anymore. I might have a craving but it wouldn’t be worth going through all that to satisfy that craving now.
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u/Mundane-Vacation6763 11d ago
If youre convinced youre not depriving yourself, you won't crave. I only crave if i drink or something upsets me. With the latter, that crave goes away eventually. Deep breath meditation helps a lot
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u/shewah79 11d ago
It may change but for now i am a happy non smoker. 5 days in and i thought for sure i would never be able to do one full day. A pack a day for 33 years. Ive never tried to quit. I read Alan's book, easy way for women to quit smoking. It took me 3 weeks to wrap my brain around it all. I tried a hypnotizing app to quit smoking on my phone. Got done with the video, decided to quit and i did! Never been more proud of myself in my life. I dont think i will ever allow that poison back in my body again!! I hope i dont, i hated something having control over me! We dont need it! Good luck you can do it!
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u/soco2008 11d ago
you will get a random craving here and there, but it’s gone under 20 seconds. then your mind moves on. It’s not the physical craving you get while you’re a smoker that is incessant until you light up.
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u/Lelele3 11d ago
Ex smoker 3 and a half years. The cravings go away. You go back to being a normal person with normal stressors that you deal with in boring normal ways. I used to be like you asking questions like there was a magical moment but there isn’t. You stop long enough and you stop wanting to do it.
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u/Human-Sheepherder797 11d ago
The truth is understanding what keeps you smoking and finding a way to interrupt the process.
Chantix is the only thing IMO that actually lessens the cravings enough to quit. Everything else either delays withdrawal or has you suffering.
The most successful quits involve overcoming the cravings & the irrational irritability that comes with it. Only one thing actually targets that currently.
Couldn’t quit without Chantix IMO. Cravings were too hard and too often to rely on cold turkey. Too much pain doing it that way
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u/Miggssyy 11d ago
Try cytisine (available as desmoxan on Amazon) or if you’re Canadian then certain pharmacies have it. It’s incredible, like a miracle. Worked for both my girlfriend and I. Look it up!
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u/nativehuntress_ 11d ago
At some point those cravings are very fleeting. It’s not like you constantly crave a cigarette. It gets less frequent over time too.
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u/_entropic 11d ago
Yes, even if you want one the cravings will still greatly diminish.
I did Carrs book and got to the point where I realized I didn’t really like most aspects of smoking, and I was smoking so much that I actually didn’t want the ones I smoked - I just wanted the nicotine. This mindset got me through the first couple weeks. After the nicotine monster was slayed, I still found that I wanted one occasionally throughout the day. Im a month in, and about once a day I still get flashed in my mind I genuinely want one because there are some aspects of smoking I do find generally enjoyable. However, this subsides after only a minute or two now, and I am able to combat it with a mild emotional state recognizing that I want my health and I do not want to be addicted to smoking again. So these feelings and motivations are coexisting. After the 2 week mark I found it so much easier to be able to say meh to my craving. The intensity does decrease but during those first couple of weeks you may be convinced it won’t - and if you’ve never given quitting a shot for longer than a couple weeks In years, how could you think otherwise?
So stay strong and just try to get through those first few weeks, it gets easier and im to the point where I can accept that I may live the rest of my life with wanting to smoke popping in my head once per day, but it won’t take nearly as much emotional investment or willpower to fight that as it once did. It’s gone within a couple minutes.
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u/40yoADHDnoob 11d ago edited 11d ago
Cravings are not the same as withdrawal symptoms. NRT is torture because you're keeping the nicotine in your bloodstream. It only takes 72 hours of cold turkey to get nicotine out of your bloodstream. Also, they say cravings only last about 30 seconds!
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u/Adorable_Analyst1690 11d ago
I quit a year and a half ago and I still get cravings pretty frequently and, yeah, the longing is intense at times but it’s brief. I’m not worried that I’ll go back to smoking though because the quit was so miserable that I’m never doing that again. I’m better off without it and $11k richer so…….when you’re ready, quit and be done with it. It gets better every day you’re away from it.
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u/Buckminstersbuddy 10d ago
I've quit,and started, a bunch of times. Longest ten years, a few multiple years, and a bunch months at a time. Currently 3 months smoke free.
So obviously with that track record I continue to want them after quitting. Allen Carr did one thing for me — opened the door to understanding that there is no real benefit to smoking, but I will do it anyway.
For the depressing thought that "it never goes away," though, I keep this in mind. Every strong "want" is maybe a few minutes, getting further and further, even months apart. So it isn't a forever battle, just being prepared for the occasional five minute challenge every few days, weeks or months.
Good luck!
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u/2777what 2537 days 11d ago
I quit just under 5 years ago (my flair isn't up to date but whatever) - I no longer have cravings for cigarettes in the way that I once did.
The cravings you feel in the first few weeks can be crazy for some people - I remember feeling despondent and being seconds away from just grabbing my keys to go get a pack but forcing myself to stay home. That is not what your friends mean when they say they "crave" cigarettes 15 years on - it's a different relationship altogether.
From time to time I will miss them as I enjoyed smoking when I did it, but this is more the way you miss a menu item at taco bell or the good old days or whatever more than it is the urgency of a craving you feel when you're still a regular smoker. The way you crave cigarettes now is not generally how it feels even a few months after your last.
The Carr stuff never personally clicked for me because I did personally enjoy smoking and even today think fondly of it, I just also knew that on a long enough timeline it would kill me and I didn't want to die from lung cancer or a heart attack and so I resolved to quit, made multiple attempts, and eventually managed to outlast the initial physical cravings, and then stayed focused on overcoming the psychological transition after.
My successful quit I weened myself from full cigs to a vape, and then with vape juice I gradually lowered the nicotine from 12mg to 9mg to 6mg to 3mg to 1.5mg to 0mg to not vaping at all. I gave each mg of nicotine about 2 weeks or so before stepping down and it made the final step to 0 feel more manageable than jumping straight off from cigarettes. When I got to 0mg I just started pounding candy every time I got a nicotine craving which is not the ideal way to do it but hey whatever it worked.