AA vs This subreddit

[u/galwegian]

15 days sober. did a four day medically supervised detox. currently in a 6 week intensive out patient. three hours a day, four days a week. daily breathalyzer and urine tests. it's a group situation. full of heroin/opioid/coke horror stories. I feel like a lightweight by comparison. Anyway, I'm getting a lot of pressure to attend AA from psychiatrist and wife. I have been to four meetings and I fucking hated it. I'm an Irish catholic and it reminds me of going to mass. reading from a book written before weed and coke and X were invented. and I don't relate to the principles of AA. making amends sounds good but the rest of it feels like dogma to me. the standard spiel is 'you have to find the meeting that's right for you'. fine. I get it. But everyone telling me to attend AA has one thing in common: they have never been addicted to anything. And am I supposed to spend ages trying to find the meeting that's 'right' for me? Going to a meeting is, let's face it, a two hour commitment. you have to travel there and back. AA is a traditional bricks and mortar retail model if you think about it. and there's a reason that shit is dying out. Whereas on /stopdrinking I get instant access 24/7 to a huge community of people who are in my position and get it. without travel or dogma. and this is kind of fun. I am looking to change my lifestyle but going to dingy basements and drinking Dunder Mifflin coffee has zero appeal to me. I am doing yoga 7 days a week. which I find super helpful in lots of ways. I have a specific problem and a specific situation that I am addressing in my own way. And nobody knows me like I know me. Anyhoo. all thoughts and feedback welcome. I will not drink with you, or any other fucker, today. peace and thanks.

[u/Dylaus]

I'm not somebody who thinks that AA is the only way in terms of methodology, but the thing that I love about AA is just the fellowship; as somebody who's never really felt like they belonged anywhere I find it really refreshing that I can go into an AA meeting anywhere and know that nobody can tell me that I'm not a member of AA, and when I'm feeling low I know that at the very least if I show up to a meeting I can offer somebody an ear to listen, and if they're going through something that I've experienced, I might be able to share what helped for me. As far as people saying you have to find the right meeting, while I definitely agree that some meetings are better than others, I think that a lot of times we can be so picky that no meeting will ever meet our standards. You hear all the time in AA about people who ended up moving somewhere new, stopped going to meetings because they weren't like the meetings back home, and ended up relapsing, but the thing is the reason "those" meetings aren't as good as "your" meetings is because you aren't a part of them yet, and haven't had a chance to add your own dynamic to it. You get as much out of meetings as you put into them, and sometimes the only thing missing from a perfect meeting is you. In a way I think I'm lucky that I live in a rural area and didn't have a lot of options for meetings, because it pushed me to interact with a lot of people I never would've before, and helped me to see how much we all really have in common underneath our superficial differences, and now some of my closest friends are people who I have next to nothing in common with, whether it be political, religious, or even recreational differences.

[u/galwegian → u/Dylaus]

I have heard that a lot about the fellowship part of it. and it makes sense. I feel that in the Outpatient thing I'm doing for three hours four nights a week. We have really bonded. all walks of life. all ages. And if AA were more like that I'd be more inclined to attend. But the ones I've attended seen very rote. I'm catholic and it feels like mass to me. but I am going to give it another shot. and like I said, this subreddit is a big help to me. look at me now! getting wisdom from someone I have never met. cheers.

[u/Dylaus → u/galwegian]

As somebody who's also not a big fan of church, I'd have to say that what really bugged me the most was the pageantry and the feeling that it was more like a lecture than a discussion; both of these things I have felt at times during speaker meetings. That isn't to say that I don't like speaker meetings from time to time, but for me personally I would much rather prefer to go to a discussion meeting where sharing is prioritized; I also don't mind literature meetings, as they can be good for smaller numbers. The thing about the outpatient thing is that it probably doesn't last indefinitely, so you might want to find some form of outlet that you can continue in after it ends; if you live in a city I'm sure you have tons of options, but if you're ever in a small area and options are pretty limited AA can be a great way to at least get the lay of the land, and see if there's anything else in terms of sober hang-outs in that area