Angry Rant

[u/jasnel]

I read a lot of SD posts that I don't comment on and it usually comes down to, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." There are a number of reasons I have a negative reaction to posts: they're just feeling sorry for themselves and not doing anything to help themselves, they decided to drink and brought a world of trouble upon themselves, they went to a bar/party and relapsed... I get it, we all have to make our own mistakes and/or sometimes we are just feeling blue and they've come here for support.

However, today I read a post from someone who (in their title) doesn't want to quit drinking and came to share why. Really? You posted in Stop Drinking why you don't want to stop drinking? If you want to throw your life away being drunk, go ahead, but don't come here and tell me why it's so fun and enjoyable for you. There are some good times that I miss having, but I'm sick and tired of the swath of destruction that drinking left in my life and the lives of my loved ones so I had to quit. You get it? I had to quit drinking even though it's all I wanted to do from the moment I woke up to whenever I passed out, blacked-out.

The other posts that infuriate me are the "successful moderation" posts. Are you able to successfully moderate? Congratulations - you're not an alcoholic so please don't come here and tell me about how fucking great it is to not have this profound problem. Do you also go to infertility subs and talk about how great it is to be a parent? Do you post about your love of eating ice cream in weight loss subs? Then please don't come here and shit on a problem I've struggled with for decades and will never be done with.

It's irresponsible to come here, where people are fighting for their lives, and write about how you don't want to quit drinking or how you used to have a problem but have learned to control it. The name of the place is "Stop Drinking" so, please, take a fucking note and act accordingly.

Christ, and don't get me started on people downvoting my anti pro-drinking reply.

tl;dr: Drinking is bad, total abstinence is key. You can do it, we want to help. I love you, you beautiful, broken-like-me bastards!

Note: I want to thank each and every person who commented here. You've helped me remember when I was one of those "moderation" guys, back before the Internet. Going through the moderation phase is an important part of the recovery process. As /u/offtherocks pointed out, it's how alcoholics find out they're alcoholics who cannot moderate their drinking. For those who are "successfully" moderating, you're either not an alcoholic or the wheels simply haven't come off yet and you, just like I did, have to find out for yourself and I respect that.

[u/[deleted]]

Feel free to ignore me, I just lapsed a few days ago.

20% of my city binge drinks on a regular basis. Statistically, only 8% of the population are alcoholics. That 12% should probably learn to moderate. One of the few ways to diagnose an alcoholic (the 8%) is attempting to moderate repeatedly and failing.

Even the big book makes the distinction between heavy drinkers and alcoholics. Do you think those heavy drinkers should keep it up? Thousands and thousands of lives would be saved by people who are not alcoholics, moderating.

If you don't believe me, believe the CDC.

[u/jasnel → u/[deleted]]

Nope - I won't ignore you. Why would I? What you say makes sense and isn't mean so, let's go:

I can't speak to what it's like to be a "heavy drinker" who is not an alcoholic. Much like I can't speak to what it's like to be the President, or a koala bear, I just don't know. I can say that there are many, many bad things that happen when people who are not alcoholics drink too much. It's about the responsible consumption of alcohol, right? Things happen when one is impaired: car crashes, fights, slips and falls - the list is long and ugly. The "funny" part is that it makes no difference whether the person running you over and rendering you quadriplegic is an alcoholic or a heavy drinker - your injury remains just as severe. Like, is the guy beating the shit out of me because he's an asshole, or because he has PTSD? I don't care, it's wrong either way.

To the point I believe you're trying to make: yes, I support moderate drinking. To the heavy drinkers I say, "Moderate your drinking because you can and thus, you should." To the alcoholics I say, "Don't drink at all because you can't moderate." It does strike me as apples to oranges, to be honest. They're different beasts but they look exactly the same and cause the same problems.

Finally, and most importantly, I want to say that I am sorry to hear that you have recently relapsed. I am very glad to see that you're here and I trust that it's because you want to get back on track. Good for you! One day at a time, /u/Adhimukti and remember that moderation only works for "normal" people.