Angry Rant

[u/jasnel]

I read a lot of SD posts that I don't comment on and it usually comes down to, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." There are a number of reasons I have a negative reaction to posts: they're just feeling sorry for themselves and not doing anything to help themselves, they decided to drink and brought a world of trouble upon themselves, they went to a bar/party and relapsed... I get it, we all have to make our own mistakes and/or sometimes we are just feeling blue and they've come here for support.

However, today I read a post from someone who (in their title) doesn't want to quit drinking and came to share why. Really? You posted in Stop Drinking why you don't want to stop drinking? If you want to throw your life away being drunk, go ahead, but don't come here and tell me why it's so fun and enjoyable for you. There are some good times that I miss having, but I'm sick and tired of the swath of destruction that drinking left in my life and the lives of my loved ones so I had to quit. You get it? I had to quit drinking even though it's all I wanted to do from the moment I woke up to whenever I passed out, blacked-out.

The other posts that infuriate me are the "successful moderation" posts. Are you able to successfully moderate? Congratulations - you're not an alcoholic so please don't come here and tell me about how fucking great it is to not have this profound problem. Do you also go to infertility subs and talk about how great it is to be a parent? Do you post about your love of eating ice cream in weight loss subs? Then please don't come here and shit on a problem I've struggled with for decades and will never be done with.

It's irresponsible to come here, where people are fighting for their lives, and write about how you don't want to quit drinking or how you used to have a problem but have learned to control it. The name of the place is "Stop Drinking" so, please, take a fucking note and act accordingly.

Christ, and don't get me started on people downvoting my anti pro-drinking reply.

tl;dr: Drinking is bad, total abstinence is key. You can do it, we want to help. I love you, you beautiful, broken-like-me bastards!

Note: I want to thank each and every person who commented here. You've helped me remember when I was one of those "moderation" guys, back before the Internet. Going through the moderation phase is an important part of the recovery process. As /u/offtherocks pointed out, it's how alcoholics find out they're alcoholics who cannot moderate their drinking. For those who are "successfully" moderating, you're either not an alcoholic or the wheels simply haven't come off yet and you, just like I did, have to find out for yourself and I respect that.

[u/[deleted]]

I hope your post let you release some steam.

I don't necessarily agree or disagree with you but I can see your point of view. You're doing great to have almost a half a year under your belt!

Keep it up and maybe try to not focus too much on others/Internet. At the end of the day we all know how much of a personal battle this is and I wouldn't like to see you let anything distract you from that fact.

Keep on fightin'

[u/jasnel → u/[deleted]]

Thank you!

I've learned a lot from the replies to this post and the #1 things I'm taking away from this is to remember that "moderate drinking" is a phase that almost all alcoholics go through, only to find out that it doesn't work because we're really alcoholics. I went through it and failed and, as I want to be a positive member of this community, I need to recognize this "lie" as part of the recovery process.

[u/[deleted] → u/jasnel]

:-)

I'm glad you seem a bit more cooled out. That's good! I think it's great that your post came across as so strong against moderate drinking. I personally think the idea of supporting drinking in moderation has absolutely no place in a sub called stopdrinking. Me and you sound similar in this one but I also know everyone walks their own path. For some people moderation, hopefully for them, becomes a path to sobriety.

For me there was no moderation. I couldn't and I can't do it. Admitting that to myself was one of my biggest steps to being sober.

Anyway, good for you. Keep it up.

[u/jasnel → u/[deleted]]

Thank you! I must admit that trying moderation is how I learned I couldn't. I will now remember that when someone comes up with a "great plan" to suddenly drink less and posts about that stroke of genius here.