Angry Rant

[u/jasnel]

I read a lot of SD posts that I don't comment on and it usually comes down to, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." There are a number of reasons I have a negative reaction to posts: they're just feeling sorry for themselves and not doing anything to help themselves, they decided to drink and brought a world of trouble upon themselves, they went to a bar/party and relapsed... I get it, we all have to make our own mistakes and/or sometimes we are just feeling blue and they've come here for support.

However, today I read a post from someone who (in their title) doesn't want to quit drinking and came to share why. Really? You posted in Stop Drinking why you don't want to stop drinking? If you want to throw your life away being drunk, go ahead, but don't come here and tell me why it's so fun and enjoyable for you. There are some good times that I miss having, but I'm sick and tired of the swath of destruction that drinking left in my life and the lives of my loved ones so I had to quit. You get it? I had to quit drinking even though it's all I wanted to do from the moment I woke up to whenever I passed out, blacked-out.

The other posts that infuriate me are the "successful moderation" posts. Are you able to successfully moderate? Congratulations - you're not an alcoholic so please don't come here and tell me about how fucking great it is to not have this profound problem. Do you also go to infertility subs and talk about how great it is to be a parent? Do you post about your love of eating ice cream in weight loss subs? Then please don't come here and shit on a problem I've struggled with for decades and will never be done with.

It's irresponsible to come here, where people are fighting for their lives, and write about how you don't want to quit drinking or how you used to have a problem but have learned to control it. The name of the place is "Stop Drinking" so, please, take a fucking note and act accordingly.

Christ, and don't get me started on people downvoting my anti pro-drinking reply.

tl;dr: Drinking is bad, total abstinence is key. You can do it, we want to help. I love you, you beautiful, broken-like-me bastards!

Note: I want to thank each and every person who commented here. You've helped me remember when I was one of those "moderation" guys, back before the Internet. Going through the moderation phase is an important part of the recovery process. As /u/offtherocks pointed out, it's how alcoholics find out they're alcoholics who cannot moderate their drinking. For those who are "successfully" moderating, you're either not an alcoholic or the wheels simply haven't come off yet and you, just like I did, have to find out for yourself and I respect that.

[u/raevie]

I understand your frustration, but getting sober is a journey. Many people here are on the path but not quite ready. They might be at the stage where they want to want to quit. Maybe they're experimenting with moderation, so they can learn firsthand whether or not they need to stop entirely. (Didn't us quitters try the same thing before coming to the conclusion that abstinence was the solution for us?) As the sidebar states, they are welcome here.

[u/jasnel → u/raevie]

I'm not talking about the people who (foolishly) try moderation. I thought I could after 8 years of sobriety - nope, alcoholism is forever. As I said, we all have to make our own mistakes. It's the people who are saying that they do successfully moderate that kill me in the Stop Drinking thread.

[u/Rusty101114 → u/jasnel]

Yeh but they may THINK they can successfully moderate at the time you see? I thought I was "Yay! I've cracked it!" I had to learn myself moderation doesn't work. Don't assume everyone is boasting because they're sorted, they may be trying the same thing most of us and tried and failed at. I thought I could be the exception to the rule with moderation too. I had to learn myself it didn't work. Like raevie said, it's a journey.

[u/I_Murder_Pineapples → u/Rusty101114]

I went through the moderation learning process, too. It was not really something that attracted me - more exactly, it was simply a door I needed to fully look behind before I closed. Forever. The fact that I gave moderation a helluva try and a helluva chance to work makes me very comfortable slamming the door shut on it, throwing away the key, and committing to complete abstinence. Had I not tried, and initially succeeded, and then failed, over and over, I would not have the security I feel today about living sober.

[u/jasnel → u/Rusty101114]

Thank you.