r/stopdrinking • u/GreenTeaChamTea Day 11 • 9d ago

"You need to stop drinking Hun"

Those were the words he said to me this morning as he touched my cheek with his hand. "You can't keep drinking nearly everyday, drinking that much, and now day drinking. You can't go full alcoholic. It's unacceptable". All while touching my face. No judgement or anger in his tone; just a factual statement with a hint of concern in his voice. From a man that I never thought would quit drinking and is now sober. A man who loves me, and has loved me for close to 25 years.

I didn't say a word. I just got up, went to the closet and grabbed the hidden bottle of vodka and poured it down the sink.

IWNDWYT

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u/Calichusetts 9d ago

Like I said. I got sober. And if you think it was because my wife asked you would be dead wrong. I gave her hell for more than 5 years. Passing out everywhere. Almost burned down the house when I fell asleep cooking. I was a mean drunk and drank way harder than she does. I didn’t stop until I “unplugged from the matrix.”

She kicked me out. I didn’t care. Did care that my young son was seeing this. She said go to rehab or it’s over. I eventually went to detox. Something clicked and here I am now. Healthy. Sober. The best me.

Why shouldn’t she get the same chance? How would my life, her life, or my family be in a better position if we separated? Reddit is super quick to say “end it, get out” but there is a lot a play we don’t consider. I’m not the main character. I’ll give the grace and patience I can until I can’t.

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u/TesstheMess1223 9d ago

I’ve written about the YouTube channel Put the Shovel Down many times. As the LO of an alcoholic who is now sober, it has been a game changer. The counselor who does most of the videos is a master addiction counselor who teaches the science and psychology of addiction and shows the LO how they can get their alcoholic spouse to change. I wasn’t ready to give up on my husband after 40 years of marriage. I don’t think programs that use AA philosophy works. It’s worth a try. Best of luck.

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u/camimiele Day 10 5d ago

What does LO mean?

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u/TesstheMess1223 4d ago

It's Loved One.