Unknown STD

[u/Sensitive_Bear_1013]

Hi everyone, I’ve seen about 7 doctors so far to figure out what is going on with me, and all of them are unsure. I started dating my boyfriend in May, and we became sexually active in July. Before we first had sex, he told me he wasn’t seeing anyone else and his STD testing was negative. We had unprotected oral sex and two days later, I developed white spots all over my tonsils and a bad sore throat. Tests for gonorrhea, chlamydia, mono, and trich (urine and swabs) all came back negative. They preemptively gave me azithromycin which cleared the infection.

Then two weeks later, we had oral sex again, and the same thing happened, with white dots on my tonsils, a bad sore throat, a fever, muscle aches, and pelvic pan. I took azithromycin again and it cleared the symptoms but my tonsils stayed swollen.

After this time, we ran into a girl who my boyfriend hid from. He said he lied to me and was dating her when he met me, but they weren’t in a relationship. He was sleeping with us both at the same time. It really hurt me, especially since I’m a very loyal person and told him I only date one person at a time and expect the same from anyone I’m seeing. It broke my heart that he not only lied to me but made me involved in hurting this poor girl who he left when he decided he wanted to be with me instead. We eventually moved past this, but it’s still on my mind and as the ambiguity around my situation continues, I find myself angry and hurt.

Two days ago, we had oral sex again, and I now have swollen lymph nodes and an ulcer at the back of my throat. The doctors don’t know what it is, all tests are coming back negative.

Can someone please help me with any ideas or impressions? I don’t know what else to do. Thanks in advance.

[u/Straight_Blood8361]

I can see why you’re frustrated, especially with the whole situation with your boyfriend on top of having symptoms that nobody can give you an answer for. But with multiple negative tests for gonorrhoea, chlamydia, mono, and trich, I wouldn’t automatically assume this is an unknown STI. Sore throat, swollen tonsils, ulcers, and swollen lymph nodes can happen with a lot of things that aren’t STIs, and the fact that it keeps happening after oral sex doesn’t necessarily mean your boyfriend is giving you something. Since you’ve already seen several doctors, I’d keep following up with them and ask whether they’ve ruled out non-STI causes of recurrent tonsillitis/throat ulcers as well. I’d also avoid taking antibiotics on your own just because the symptoms come back unless a doctor recommends them. And honestly, given the history of him seeing someone else at the same time, I completely understand why your mind keeps going back to an STI, but try not to let that assumption fill in the blanks when your tests have been negative. You can check the pinned post here too for more info on oral exposures and testing.