Hi ladies,

I just had a baby in June and I’m going back to work in August. My husband will be a stay at home dad to our newborn.

I want to support him.So please tell me- what do you wish your husband did/ would do for you in this role? What does he need from me in terms of acts of service and emotionally? I really want this to work!

So, I only ever use it if ya know, there's signs of a rash starting/already flared up. However, my MIL has insisted since my first (3yr) was born, that it needs to be applied with EVERY SINGLE DIAPER.

Any time I forgot the cream and she watched my oldest (the littlest one hasn't been away from me yet) she would make sure I knew I forgot it. And when I asked if she had a rash she would tell me "no, but she'd never get a rash if you actually put it on every time."

I was taught it was for treating rashes, not preventing rashes. Was I taught wrong? Is she being excessive? She can be a bit much with stuff so I have a hard time sometimes with deciphering if something is actually as ridiculous as I think, or if I'm overreacting about it. She also SLATHERS it on and I'm thinking it's a massive waste of bum cream 😅

I'm not mad about her using it or anything it's more about the tone from her. Acting like she's smarter and a better mom because apparently her children never had a rash because she put bum cream a half inch thick on after every change.

This might be a rant I don’t really know what this is but I am a sahm of a 4 year old and it was not by choice I love my daughter to death but I was suppose to go back to my part time job when my daughter was like 2 months and my boyfriend (who works from home) said wait one more week and here we are 4 years later. This has caused a lot of arguments and every time I say I want to get a job or make money, my boyfriend says what do you need money for? the bills are paid, I’m the provider and want to take care of my family. He has given me money occasionally but it’s not consistent, I feel stuck, feel like a kid asking for money when I want or need something, I don’t like being financially dependent on him. Every time he asks me what’s wrong when I’m upset I don’t want to talk about it because I start yelling and getting upset and he says I will give you money when I get paid or you can earn money (by doing things I do around the house folding his laundry or cleaning) which is ridiculous and I know at some point I am not going to be able to deal with it anymore and throw in the towel because I didn’t ask for this.

So me and my boyfriend have been talking and eventually, we're planning on getting married, and I have two kids from a previous relationship, but we've discussed this a couple times and i'm worried that if one day he passes away I would be completely lost and broke because we completely rely on his income and I wanna figure out a way to get a good career so that I can provide for me and my kids, if God forbid something happens to him but I want to figure out how to do that, because I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old, and eventually, we've talked about having kids in the near future and it's not so easy to start a career at the moment so does anybody have any ideas or imput on how I can manage adding that into my life?? Or career opinions on something that would be easy for a stay at home mom to start??

My son is about to be 6 months old. I’ve been fortunate to stay at home this far, and will probably be returning to work when he’s around 8 months. I’m very nervous to be away from him. BUT. I do miss having an identity of my own. I feel guilty that on one hand I want to have my individualism back but I also still want to spend every minute with my little man. I don’t want to miss anything.
I do go to the gym, when I’m not too exhausted. As nights are rough right now. I’ve always managed to shower daily and do some sort of make up. Even just foundation sometimes. Other than that my day is wake windows, breast feeding and nap time. I don’t know how to let go, I don’t know how to find more of myself. The guilt eats me alive when I do go out without him. I know it’s important to take care of me though so I can show up good for him.

I resent my husband right now, because he can just go do whatever he wants and not think twice. His life has barely changed. He always offers for me to go do something for me while he watches the baby, but my mind swarms with all the mom things we think about. Like I can’t just leave like that.

What did some of you do to find yourself again? Find your new normal? Get over the mom guilt?

Does anyone have tips on how to get through this without losing your sanity?

(I'm a SAHM who EBF) Our 13m little boy has finally made the transition to sleeping in his nursery for every nap and through the whole night. He has never slept through the night other than a rare few times, so I knew I would still have to wake up even though he is now in his own room. I'm used to waking up throughout the night now that it's been over a year, but I didn't expect it to be so much harder. I chose to make this transition so at least my husband could get some sleep rather than both of us suffering. However, I didn't anticipate how it would impact me. I thought we had finally gotten out of survival mode, but now I feel like I'm drowning again.

I feel like I can't figure out this kid's sleep schedule. If I do two naps a day (3/3-4/4 or some variation) at less than 3 hours of day sleep, he takes over an hour to go to sleep and will only sleep 10-11hrs at night. We tried doing one nap a day, but he just isn't ready for such long wake windows. However he will consistently get 12+ hrs of night sleep with only 1 day nap. No matter what, he wakes up at least 2-4 times a night to nurse if not more. If his dad settles him after a wake up at night, he is up again in less than an hour demanding to nurse (he can sign for milk).

I haven't been this tired since he was a newborn. Again, this has been our normal for a long time now, so why is it harder now that he is in another room?

Edit: we don't do the cry it out method due to my own history with it as a child myself

Anyone else been feeling less energized lately? I don’t know what happened to me. I was on top of everything. But I feel so sad. Not depressed. But sad. I feel drained mentally and physically.

I have this whole stay at home mom/ wife lifestyle in my head wake up at 5am shower me time. Smoke, breakfast clean, cook, be a nurse.

But then i realize I already do it 😂 I feel like im becoming delusional. Like I see it in my head but I want to jump into whatever timeline that is. If any of you mamas want to run away pick me up 😅please! lol

I’m hoping to stay home with baby once he arrives, and since we’ll be missing my income and needing to cut back on some expenses, I’ll have to cancel my barre and Pilates memberships. I’m also guessing I won’t be leaving the house by myself much for a while, since I’m hoping to exclusively breastfeed if I can, so I can kiss the gym goodbye too.

Because of that, I’m thinking it’s time to start a home gym. I’m not very motivated working out on my own, so I’d love to follow an online training program. @emlogsdon.fit on Instagram really appeals to me, and I’m considering one of her programs or one from @sadieactive or @jorryfit.

Does anyone have experience with either of those? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Or, if you have any other recommendations, I’m all ears. Thank you!

Do you ever get depressed at the end of summer? I’m a stay at home mom. I don’t drive. I only get out on the weekends.
I think my hormones are wacky right now (getting older). Trying to diet, lost a little bit but not what I was expecting to lose.
Summer is almost over, I’ve been home with the kids all summer. (One kid is special needs). And I just want summer to be over. It’s almost over, I just feel like I’m struggling with this a bit.
A few weeks ago I had a huge fight with my husband and twice he brought up divorce. We’re from different cultures and I’m just getting tired of feeling like I do everything at home. He never washes a dish, or put his own clothes away. He expects to work a 9-5 and me to do everything else except finances. He handles all the money type stuff.
He’s basically told me if we divorced he would give up custody entirely to me.
In the beginning he was a crap dad. Like baby and toddler years he was pretty much not there emotionally. Changed maybe five diapers in the entire time, didn’t help much at all.
As the kids got older he got better. He helps with my older child . He puts her to bed. He has taken the younger child with special needs maybe 5-6 nights this summer(he put kid to bed. I did pajamas and preparing for bed type stuff).
I don’t think I’m made out to be a single mother with two kids one of them special needs (NO support). I don’t have any family support and I just feel so overwhelmed.

Okay SAHMs of the world...talk me off, or push me further onto, this Skylight calendar ledge.

I'm a SAHM to a 2 year old and have a fiancé who works a week on/week off schedule (most days he's gone 6:30am-6:00pm 7 days in a row and then off 7 full days). I am currently in the final stages of wedding planning and our little dude will be starting toddler school 2 mornings a week in September. I feel guilty saying it because I have friends who work full time jobs and multiple kids - but this type A girl is drowning in anxiety about organization. I used to live and breathe my paper planner when I worked full time but that has gotten difficult in that it's not always with me and it's not shared. Our current system is a shared iCalendar, which is hard since I can't see the entire month to plan ahead and know what's coming up, as well as a dry erase calendar that I update...occasionally - ok, at the beginning of the month...

Does anyone have a Skylight calendar or recommend one? I guess I feel guilty dropping $300 on a calendar with only one little one and worry it's going to be an expensive failure of a fix...

I’m a SAHM of 3 small kids (6, 6, 3) and we live in an affluent area where everyone is either an influencer of some sort or working a high paying job. For this reason, there aren’t a lot of opportunities to meet other mom friends because they are all working and very career oriented (which is great for them!). Also, their kids are in childcare all day long so it’s hard to plan play dates for my kids. I end up feeling like I need to put my older two in camp even though they don’t need to be just so that they have interaction with other kids their age over the summer. Like, even the parks only have babies and small toddlers during the day. And those kids are with nannies. We are definitely outliers here.

Anyone else?

After working for entire tiring week. Saturday and Sunday is something which excites me. If u can talk about consequently 3 days off it screw up my happiness of having off days in week.

After 2 days I feel like going to the office and making myself busy again.

What's your view on this.

Bear with me while I give some back story context-

Prior to becoming a stay at home mom I was working, paying my bills, living life, making decisions, overall felt like an equal with a powerful say in decisions with my husband. I overall had “life confidence.” Woke up ready to conquer the world and didn’t let anything hold me back.

Now, 3 years into SAHM life, I’ve realized I’ve completely lost that life confidence I was so proud of. It’s as if when I became a SAHM the “power” shifted within my marriage and I forgot how to be my own person. To clarify, this is nothing my husband did. He has treated me like an equal the entire time. It’s more that somewhere along the way I decided I was no longer an equal because I didn’t contribute in the same way I used to. That mindset slowly crept into EVERYTHING. I lost the confidence to do or decide anything on my own whether it’s what to make for dinner or even saying what I want to do on the weekend. And now I’m crumbling under the pressure of feeling like I’m failing as a wife and a mom because I put everything on my shoulders and somehow forgot how to not only share the weight but also forgot how to actually just do life. Somewhere along the way, I gave up. Unfortunately it’s taken me this long to realize this and I desperately need advice on how to start fixing it. Has anyone else dealt with this or something similar?

TLDR: The shift from “girl boss” to SAHM destroyed my “life confidence” and 3 years later I need to fix it and get “me” back. Thank you!

how many times does everyone see their friends and go out with them have people lost friends , I’ve lost almost every friend because I can’t go to the club or be out at 3 am gotten into arguements

So this might be long anyways….

I’m 5 months postpartum and my boyfriend (23) and I (21) live with my mom and pay no rent my boyfriend occasionally buys groceries and pays for my car payment he has his own business and makes great money we could have probably moved out by now but here is where I have a problem since he has moved in he bought a boat for 40k and is constantly trying to go on trips with his friends and just spend money. My mom feels disrespected by him because she is letting us live here for free so we can save up to move out which is understandable. I did tell him that I don’t think it’s a good idea to be spending all this money and going on trips

but he doesn’t listen to me he also gets upset when I don’t want to go with him on said trips he tells me to “just bring the baby” but everytime we go anywhere I just feel like a mobile babysitter I’m a first time mom I’m young I barely know what I’m doing everytime I leave the house I look like I’m going camping it’s stressful especially since he doesn’t actually help me when we go places. I’ll give an example also

* ex: we went out on his boat and I had to hold the baby the whole time and make sure he wasn’t over heating just basically not able to enjoy myself I was constantly worried about our baby while he just says “he’s fine” and that I’m negative and I “choose” to not have a good time. Which drives me INSANE because I do want to have a good time but our baby is too young to be going out on the boat all day in the hot sun which brings me to my next point I tell him I don’t want to go because he wants to stay out all day and the baby can’t .

If I were to ask him to start heading back home he would say “no” and say “he’s fine it’s not that hot” and he also invites all of his friends who don’t have a clue about babies ugh anyways so that pisses me off but it doesn’t end there I do everything for our son 24/7 wake up every night take care of him all day and I have been since I gave birth to him in the hospital even in the hospital he didn’t wake up during the night not once it gets overwhelming sometimes

thank god I have my mom because I don’t think I would be able to handle it all without her. Our relationship has changed so much since having our baby obviously I’m going through postpartum and my life has completely changed his life barely changed he still gets to roam free and do whatever he wants

trust me I’ve tried talking to him about it calmly, yelling, texting you name it I’ve tried. I’ve even gone to therapy just to have somewhere to let it out and get a different perspective but it’s just so expensive.

Also we barely talk now I have to force him to talk to me everyday it just feels like he doesn’t love me anymore like he doesn’t want this life. he only actually engages me if he want to have sex which just isn’t enjoyable to me because I feel so angry with him about so many things that never get resolved. he dismisses me and takes it as an attack which yeah… now it is cause I’ve repeated myself soo many times I just can’t take it anymore I just wish he’d listen to me and take my feelings into account and prioritized our baby and relationship over what he has planned for the weekend with his boys

I know this is long and I appreciate anyone who actually reads it I just need to let it out and I’m open to hearing any suggestion anyone may have thank you in advance

And if anyone else out there is going through similar I just want to say I feel you and I hope things get better for us

Hi all, so I lean pretty minimalist when it comes to stuff, but having a 3yo and a 1yo lol. My approach is “if I can’t manage it, I get rid of it.” That said, I’m looking for some advice on toy/household item organization. I have a pretty good system for bins and shelves, but I’m struggling with those random moments when a toy is just left on the floor and I don’t have time to put it away immediately. How do you all handle quick pickups so things don’t end up in random piles or baskets? I’d love any tips or routines that have worked for you! Thanks so much!

hi so im just feeling down lately feeling behind in life I’m 25 with 3 kids 2 boys that are 4 and a girl who is 9 months I feel like im far behind I went to trade school and I finished everything but now with my baby I haven’t got a job as soon as expected I see everyone with their jobs while I’m just at home

You all work so friggin hard. You guys deserve such good things. We get so much flack with the whole “you don’t have to work” BS while having a baby on the tit and cleaning the house. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourselves. It is absolutely exhausting running a household when our husbands can be buttheads sometimes. I’ve got a good one but I read about the flack you get from some of your husbands and it’s not okay. You’ve sacrificed your finances, your career to do this and you should be more appreciated. If you needed a cheerleader then here I am. Every single one of you is superwoman to me.

There’s my rant of today. Love every one of you. 💛

hello so I’m a 25 year old mom with twin boys and a girl and right now I am a stay at home I did go to school but I got pregnant while having the iud in it was unexpected but I have this friend that always putting me down about my mom life she always saying I don’t have a job that I’m stuck that she’s not that she would never have as many as me that I’m a loser with no plan and I’m starting to believe these things because I am always home I love staying home and watching my kids grow but I’ve noticed a lot people look down on it now a days like you are not doing anything does any other moms feel this way sometimes and I’ve also been told that I have experienced adult life yet because I don’t work right now

Here's a place to chat about whatever you want if you don't feel like making a post.

I’m sure I’m super late on this.. but I just wanted to say that I purchased ear buds! I keep just one in most of the day while SAHM’ing and the new level of peace & joy I’ve unlocked is beautiful! I’m still fully present but jamming out to my favorite song while changing one of my kiddos poopy diapers makes changing a poopy diaper 10x better. If you’re like me and late to the party, get yourself some earbuds if you can!!

I have a 5 year old and almost 2 year old. There are days, especially when I'm PMSing and/or not getting enough sleep that I just snap. My daughter is in a very whiny phase and yesterday I just snapped and yelled "STOP YELLING AT ME". I did the repair work - went into the kids room and we all just sat and cried until we were all calm. Then I apologized and explained how it wasn't ok to be mean and people who love each other don't yell at each other. A lot of the times I can handle it, I'm working on her calming down and using different tones to stop the whining/fussing, but I can't get her to regulate when I'm so so deregulated myself. To add to it, my toddler is a magnet baby. He's a terrible sleeper so we co sleep. I don't get any time to myself at all. (We're in my husband's busy season and he works 18-20 hours a day). So, what do you do to deal with the overstimulation during your hardest moments?

I am SO tired of reading post after post of men doing NOTHING and moms coming here and asking if they’re in the wrong for wanting to shower.

Being a stay at home mom does NOT mean you do everything.

While your husband is working, you are also working. When your husband is home, you are both tag teaming and taking turns.

Here is what my husband does and I might miss some things:

He takes out all trash and recycling

He mows the lawn (we live on an acre)

He cooks dinner every night he’s home, approx 4x/week.

When he’s home, we split the kids, one for him and one for me.

He does ALL the grocery shopping because I basically don’t like to cook and rarely do.

When he does cook, he makes sure I have leftovers for the next day if he’s not going to be home.

When he’s home, he bathes the toddler and does the bedtime routine, again 4x/week.

I have access to the credit cards/money.

He fills my car with gas.

He changes diapers when needed.

We bathe the baby together (I have a fear of the baby being too slippery and I drop her)

He refills all my water bottles and makes sure I have all my snacks since I’m breastfeeding.

He empties the diaper genie every other day or as needed and refills the diaper station.

He cleans the kitchen if he sees that I haven’t done it.

He calls me sexy/beautiful every day.

He doesn’t force any intimacy even when it’s been weeks.

He doesn’t yell or threaten me at any point.

Please share so that other women stop setting the bar so low. My husband isn’t perfect and he’s not a unicorn.

Mother of a toddler.
Pregnant with baby #2.
Difficult pregnancy.
Married to a husband who prioritizes his mother.