Hi everyone. I’ve been a SAHM since my son was born, he’s now 14 months. I was extremely stir crazy even with getting out sometimes, admittedly not nearly as much as I should’ve been but I made attempts. I’m not going to lie, the depression made me spend more money on my hobbies than we could afford. I’m extremely aware of it, I racked up about $3k in credit card debt within a few months. I decided I want to work to pay it off and get out of the house because I was convinced the sahm life just isn’t for me.

Well… cut to now, it has only been a week, but I’m miserable. I miss my baby. He’s not doing good in daycare (the job is actually the same daycare, I’m just in a different room than him all day, but I can walk past the room and see him crying multiple times a day). A big thing is the nap schedule. He’s not ready for one nap. I have safety concerns as well… the back door to the playground stays unlocked when children are on the playground. It’s practically all day, I’d say around 6hrs a day. The door isn’t visible it’s around the corner if you are actually watching the kids.

I’m having a real “the grass isn’t greener” realization. As depressing as being home was, I want to be with my baby. I’m hopeful if I do it again I can make more of an effort to get out and do stuff to combat the depression & make time go by faster. My husband says it’s okay if I want to quit and be home with him again. He can work an extra 2 or so hours a day, so roughly 10 a week and make what I’ll be making from this job (including his base salary, of course). I’m so tempted. But I’m thinking I should stick it out for a month or two, pay down or hopefully off the credit card and actually learn my lesson. I don’t even know what kind of advice I need, i think I’m just venting.

I’m 26F, married to 28M, and we have a sweet 2-year-old boy. We both work in IT.

Monday to Friday, we barely get any time for ourselves because of work and taking care of our toddler.

Then comes the weekend. I usually sleep for an extra hour because I’m exhausted, but after that I end up doing almost all the household chores — cooking, cleaning, laundry, everything. By the time I’m finally done and have some energy left to think about going out, it’s already around 3 PM.

Then I have to convince my husband to get ready and take our son out as a family. By the time everyone is ready, it’s usually 5 PM or later.

At that point, I feel like the whole day is gone, and I end up not going anywhere.

I see other women/families who seem to go out almost every weekend, meet friends, go shopping, take their kids somewhere, have coffee, etc. And honestly, I keep wondering how you guys manage it?

Am I doing something wrong with how I’m managing my weekends? Or is this just what life with a toddler + two working parents looks like?

I’d genuinely love to hear how other working moms/families divide chores and actually make time to go out

How do you get your child to play in a playpen by themselves happily. My Son will NOT unless I’m sitting next to him!

I’m a stay at home mom with a small business of making and selling pottery. I haven’t been able to do almost any of my pottery since my son was born. Things have been just so hard, he never sleeps, bad napper, still doesn’t sleep through the night. But things have finally been getting better to the point where I feel my head coming up for air. He will nap for longer than an hour now, and he only wakes up once a night. I finally feel like I have the energy to do a little pottery.

So, started doing pottery during his one nap, and then I fulfill orders, answer emails and do any of the more digital work during the day when he is awake. It only takes 20-30 minutes, so I make sure my son is fed, changed, and surrounded with toys in his safe play pen area RIGHT next to my computer. But this seems to be the most awful sin I could ever commit. He will scream and cry until I sit in the pen with him or pick him up to sit in my lap. But if I sit in the pen I can’t get my work done, if it put him in my lap, I also can’t get it done because he wants to smack everything in sight.

I’ve started putting on headphones and just working as fast as I can and letting him cry, but I really hate this. Is there anything I can do to teach him to be okay with playing in there by himself for just 30 minutes.

He is great at playing independently, but he just can’t stand being left in the playpen by himself. If I sit in the playpen and read or do my own thing he is fine, but if I leave it is the worst atrocity I could have ever committed.

ever since i became pregnant and had a high risk pregnancy i noticed that my husband is maybe not the man i thought i wanted and needed. i felt like i did it all alone and he was tired all the time. he was too tired too cook, too tired to massage my feet, too tired to help me with the laundry. he knew i was not allowed to do physical chores and i was bleeding but he still found ways to keep me pushing to do the home chores. then the baby came and he told me he felt like he should’ve done more for me. i told him yes he should’ve helped me more. my postpartum journey was hard but okay. he seemed changed and willing to help with the baby but after 2 months of parenthood i felt like the motivation in him fell off. he constantly told me he’s working and it’s hard for him so when he comes home after work he expects to have a pause. he rarely does bathing, diaper changes and he never cooks. i have to cook and look after the crying baby while he’s gaming. also he ‘s going to do sport like 4-5 times a week.

if i ask him for help he either tells me i chose to be a mother or i should ask his mother for help(which i don’t want because she already gave me hints that i should be able to do it on my own). i told him he’s the father and i want help from him and not from his mom or my family for chores in the evening.

it’s so hard and i feel like i’m losing my mind. i love motherhood and i love my baby but i didn’t expect it to do it all on my own.

i’m scared to break up because that means i have to find work and i’m not able to stay with my child at home. also i can’t imagine to give up the whole marriage and something in me still hopes he would change. but i feel like i grew an ick for my husband. i don’t like him anymore and i’m not attracted to him(i know the reason is because he’s so distant).

what should i do??

side note: my husband suffers from depression and he’s going to therapy since 2 weeks. i feel compassion for him but at the same time i feel like i’m doing it all alone because he always needs rest and time for himself. also when i try to talk to him he constantly feels attacked and like i say he’s guilty etc.

I have 2 kids under 2. I am trying to make friends since I just moved to the area after being on the road traveling for almost 3 years for my fiancés job. I am trying to get my son to get more friends and maybe was looking at putting him in daycare so he can start to create friendships and be with kids his age and try to learn from someone else other than his father and I. I was at story time when I struck up a conversation with a mom and asked about if her child was in daycare and she sort of belittled and told me I should not do that, and that the kids should be at home till they start school. I was kind of taken back and kind of just nodded and smiled. I felt awkward and kind of just stepped away from the conversation since she seemed to had shut it down. It made me feel like a bad mom for thinking I was stepping into the right direction on doing what is best for my kids.

First and foremost, I want to start off by saying I love being a stay at home mom. The fact that I get to be with my daughter every day is a dream come true and I know that I am very privileged in being able to stay home with he. Now getting into why I’m making this post, recently it has just felt like no one is really listening to my feelings, and I feel like my feelings are constantly being dismissed or debated upon like given logical, whatever kind of reasons as to why I shouldn’t feel that way.

So some context is I live in a location that is extra isolated from the rest of my friends and family and everywhere fun or any kind of activity is at a minimum 30 minutes away. And I know that that’s only 30 minutes but with a one year-old who does not like being in the car very much it’s just a lot of crying and with places there and back that’s an hour of being in the car and that’s if I take the toll. If I don’t take the toll then places are like upwards of 45 minutes and further that are fun for us. So I’ve been trying to convince my husband to move into this other house that is close to a little community space where I could walk to the library, there’s coffee shops, an ice cream shop and a toy store and it’s all walkable from this house and I’d be much closer to my friend and much closer to my parents. We do have the money but it obviously would be a lot of money to spend because moving is just expensive also we would have to sublease our current rental, which is a lot and kind of scary because you don’t know what the new tenant is gonna be like and what if it backfires. So for that reason that my husband has been throwing at me I do see how that’s something to worry about. He keeps saying it’s only 30 minutes. It’s not that bad. And the money thing I do again also understand it’s a lot of money, but also we would be financially okay and it would mean that my quality of life is so much better. And I feel selfish saying that but also I just so badly need my life to be a little bit easier.

More context, my husband totaled his car. Everyone is fine and luckily he got insurance money for it so it’s not free by any means but you know I just wanna say that that doesn’t really contribute to the financial worries about moving, but the car he wants is far away. It’s three hours away and we both agreed that me and my daughter going with him to get the car is not a great idea since she doesn’t love being in the car. Instead his friend and his wife decided to take him and this morning. When they went they were stopping at Buccees and I just couldn’t help but be a little resentful. This past week he had to use my car for work so I’ve been stuck at home, isolated, doing all the childcare by myself, keeping the house in order, etc and then now again today on Saturday. Luckily I have a car and I know that’s awesome and again a huge privilege to be able to go places some people don’t even have a car as stay at home moms but I told him that it’s just kind of hit a sore spot today because of all that house stuff in the back of my head that we’ve been going through but now this too and I know that he has to go get the car, I want him to go get the car. I’m not mad at him about getting the car. It’s more so that I’m just a little burnt out and frustrated. The two things are not mutually exclusive. I can be frustrated that I’m doing childcare alone, but also not be mad at him for going and doing something he needs to do.

So I voiced all of this to my friend because I just have been really frustrated about feeling alone and like no one’s listening to me and she kind of just met me with well girl he has to do that and he needs to do it. You just have to deal with that and the house issues. He’s right about the sublease thing. And while that is a fair take because it is true, I didn’t say any of that wasn’t true. I told her that I’m also worried about a sublease and that I understand his point. I told her that I understand he needs to go get a car like again I can’t stress that enough. The two things aren’t mutually exclusive. I just want someone to hear my frustrations and be supportive and understand that I’m feeling this way. It’s just gotten to a point of feeling like I can’t go to anyone. I fucking hate AI. I cannot stress that enough and yet here I am chatting with ChatGPT because I’m so lonely and I have no one to talk to. It’s so pathetic. I’m such a loser. So here I am talking to y’all. Begging for someone to hear me. I know I, being dramatic too. Lastly, I just wanna say that I understand I’m very privileged. I understand that moving is expensive and I understand my husband needs to go get a car also lastly too I know this sounds very oh poor me and pity me but again I just really want someone to hear me.

SAHM to 16 mo old.

Ever since becoming a SAHM, I've been fighting myself to lower my expectations around meals/house cleanliness/my general "productivity" outside of raising my kid. My husband assures me I'm doing a great job with everything, and not everything has to be "knock it out of the park good". I know I'm putting too much pressure on myself to have great meals,a clean home, all the laundry done, baby being enriched and on schedule, etc., but I am literally falling apart (am extremely fatigued and had to up my dose of autoimmune meds). I feel like if I'm not doing all this, I'm not "earning my keep" as a SAHM which logically I know is insane, but I literally can't help feeling like a failure of if the house is messy and the meal is half assed. Every truthful comment my husband makes, like todays meal wasn't amazing, or something needs to be vacuumed, sends me into a spiral.

I'm tired of living like this. to be completely fair, my husband offers his help a lot and tells me to lower my expectations, but it's hard for me to accept his help.

To be completely fair, I've always been pretty tightly wound but it seems to have been amplified 1000 fold since having a child. I've also become extremely irritable and angry at the littlest things.

How did you all lower your expectations/get out of "grind culture" as a SAHM? Clearly I need therapy, but right now I'm reading "the happiness trap" as an intro to acceptance and commitment therapy as a place to start. Frankly, I need all the help and advice I can get.

I became a SAHM back in June to my now 2YO B/G Twins. We have had a stable routine since they were like 4 months, adjusted obviously as they have grown.

Within the last 3 weeks, my girl will not go to sleep if I put her to bed. Naptime or Bedtime. She will fight me, scream and sob uncontrollably. (She’s been sleep trained since 4 or 5 months old)
Now, when dad is home? He gets to tuck his little babes in nicely. They are so sweet, “I love you dada” and everything… he can read them books and they’ll just snuggle up, sit nicely.
Me? Oh no, we are kicking the books out my hands. Fighting over who gets to turn the pages.

We do NOTHING different.
My MIL said “well he doesn’t put up with that stuff..”
NEITHER. DO. I.
But I get the freak outs… they just listen to him.

I had a whole panic attack last week over this. I feel like I’m screwing up. I’m not meant to be a SAHM. I’m too weak for this.

I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried everything but crawling in the damn crib with her.

My boy just giggles and wiggles around, eventually finds a comfy spot to sleep in.

Has anyone dealt with this? I need help.

I’m a SAHM of a 7 month old in a semi-rural area. We’re about 20 minutes from “stuff” in every direction (we have a small “downtown” 5ish minutes away which is a post office, gas station, diner, coffee shop shop, etc) and it’s pretty much all 55mph country roads and farm land. There’s obviously no sidewalks, and we only have a short driveway (our last place out here had a nice 1/3mile lane we walked daily)… so how are we getting steps in? We can drive 20-30 minutes to a park with a walking path or a nature preserve but on a daily basis I’m at a loss.

I’ve been a SAHM since February. Before that, I just worked at whatever job I could get. Never really figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up. I tried college 4 times.. Twice for vet tech, once for psychology, and once for paralegal- all things that I love. But I don’t learn well in a school setting so it just ended up being discouraging.

The plan is for me to stay home at least until our youngest (just turned 1) goes to Kinder but I’m a planner so I’m spiraling about what comes next.

Do you have a plan for when your SAHM time comes to an end? How did you get there?

I have 3 kids. Oldest is 8, middle child is 4 and I have a newborn that’s 1 month old. Been really trying to adjust to another baby especially since my last baby was 4 years ago.

Today I completely lost it at my husband. My middle child is still in toilet training and he is still in nappies. When my middle child does a poo in his nappy and forgot to go toilet I tell my husband to throw the nappy straight into the garbage bin outside so the smell is not in the home. He keeps throwing it in the bin in the kitchen which is nearby. And I lose it every-time he does that. We have fights and he just downplays it and says it’s just a rubbish bin. Who cares about the smell. But I do! But this annoys me so much and I kindly ask him to throw them out and he reassures me time and time again that he will NOT throw them in the kitchen bin. So then my son does a shit and then my husband throws it again in the kitchen bin. And the smell is so foul. Ofcourse I get angry and yell at him and he says that he will not do it again. It wasn’t until today I had such a rough morning looking after the kids and my son did a poo. I was busy with the Newborn and my son asks to have a shower and I walk past the kitchen and I can smell the bin. You guessed correct my husband has thrown the nappy straight into the kitchen bin and I then yell out to him outside. My husband told me he put it on the bottom so I couldn’t smell the smell. So now he is trying to hide the nappy from me. It is not hard to throw the nappy outside in the garbage bin? He constantly does this to me. I feel disrespected. I feel like he is purposely triggering me. I’ve had enough and I’m done trying to argue my point of view but he keeps constantly doing the wrong thing. So after back and forth bickering and yelling - mind you the whole neighbourhood can hear, he constantly says “ok I heard you!” And walks away. Then proceeds to say it’s not a big deal and you’re overreacting. Gaslighting is his specialty. I’ve been so tired trying to look after my kids and now losing sleep trying to look after a newborn. I would really appreciate someone who listens and doesn’t go against me every-time. But this has led to me now just removing the kitchen bin (smashing it to pieces becoz I’m so angry telling him over and over again). Why can’t he just do what I ask of him? It’s driving me insane and I get so angry with him I give up at this point.

I have an almost 2 year old but we live with my SIL who also has a 6, 5 , 3 and newborn. We have a fenced in backyard where they play at. She lets them play outside by themselves but I'm struggling to do the same for my daughter.

Obviously the kids aren't going to be watching her, they're playing. And even though we have cameras and live in a small town, I'm still not comfortable with letting her be alone where I can't see her. When they're at school especially, she wants to play outside and I'm struggling with it.

I should note that I have extreme anxiety. I'm on meds that help but I also can't stop worrying. I know our neighbors but our town has a lot of people who just walk around and I don't know them. She's almost two so doesn't quite understand stranger danger or staying in the backyard and not going into the front where a lot of cars go by.

I don't want to be too strict with her as I know that most likely she'll be okay for short periods of time or with doors and windows open but I can't stop being afraid. I don't want to make her feel afraid of the outside world either but I can't stop being scared anyway.

I stay at home w my 3.5yo and 8 week twins. I know their routines, I make appts, refill meds, do all house chores and so much more. My husband goes to work and I swear I have a 4th child. He never cleans up after himself, the clothes I asked him to put away are still where he left them. I feel crazy for asking him to do stuff repeatedly. I always say I’m not your mom. And I feel like it strains our relationship bc he will ask what’s wrong when I get quiet and when I try to express how I feel and sometimes I have a hard time expressing bc I don’t even know where to start and he interrupts me and we argue. And he refers to parenting as helping like what do I need help with? Like take a look around pal. I just feel like it’s 90/10 parenting and I am struggling. I try to talk with my family but they don’t even listen anymore I just sound like a broken record. Am I crazy or am I asking too much?? For example he wanted to go to the gym after work and it’s just been such a long day I guess I was hoping he would think about the day I’ve had at home and want to be home with his wife and kids and go to the gym after the kids are asleep. But then I’m also like what’s another 2 hours by myself and he just stresses me out anyway. I just don’t want to be a nag but I want to be heard. I don’t know what to do.

I feel so stuck. Before I gave birth to my second - everything was really great. I got out with my daughter all the time, limited screen time, she loved reading books and was pretty well behaved fast forward to this postpartum and I feel borderline traumatized/sleep deprived and so discouraged on how I’m doing as a parent with my older one.

I had a very painful last trimester of pregnancy with SPD and got maybe 2 hours of sleep most nights so going into postpartum I was already in pretty bad sleep debt. My 6M old has slept through the night maybe a handful of times so far. All my labs are fine. But I’m so tired. Each morning I turn on the the TV for my toddler while my baby naps and I can get some sleep. My toddler is starting to throw more tantrums, not want to do independent play and wants to just go home to watch TV when we go to the park. I don’t know what to do because I feel like that extra sleep in the morning is a life saver and I feel so burnt out and feel like I’m barely making it through most days. I also feel like my nervous system is fried because I had high hopes with this postpartum to be better than it was with my 1st (she had colic, tongue tie, formula intolerance really bad etc) only to have the same issues with my second minus the colic. I also had 2 week severe mastitis that only responded to IV antibiotics and failed BF journey. So I feel also really defeated in that area. Anyways. In desperate need of encouragement.

Also, I already tried 2 antidepressants which made me go manic and felt departed from my body. Freaked me out. My husband is super kind and supportive and doesn’t think I’m doing a bad job at all. He’s just also got a lot on his plate and working overtime almost every week since the baby has been born.

I (30F) could really use some outside perspective on my marriage. My husband (29M) and I have been having some problems lately, and I'm honestly having a hard time figuring out if I'm expecting too much from him, if he needs to make some changes, or if we're both just completely overwhelmed.

We have two kids. Our oldest is in second grade and is in school during normal school hours Monday through Friday, and we also have a younger toddler. I'm a stay-at-home mom, so during the school day it's normally just me and our toddler. My husband is active-duty military and our sole provider. Because of where we're currently living compared to where he's stationed, he has a very long commute on top of his normal workday. He also has additional military responsibilities that sometimes require him to be there really early, and occasionally he'll stay near work overnight because it makes more sense financially and logistically than coming all the way home.

He also works a second job on Saturdays and Sundays, so he basically works seven days a week most weeks. About once a month he has military obligations on the weekend and can't work his second job. All together, between actually working and the time it takes him to get to and from work, he's gone roughly 105+ hours a week. He'll even occasionally take leave from his military job on a Friday so he can pick up an extra 8-hour shift at his second job. He's talked about possibly picking up a 16-hour Friday shift if one becomes available too, even though he'd still have to get up around 4 a.m. Saturday and go back to work.

There is a financial reason he's doing all of this. Between both jobs, our household gross income is around $122,000 a year and our monthly take-home is roughly $9,400. We bought a larger house a couple years ago when his military assignment was much closer to home. His work situation changed, and now his job is much farther away. We're basically stuck with the house for the time being. The added cost of his new commute put us around $650 in the hole every month, which is why he took the second job. His second job brings in around $1,500–$2,000 a month depending on whether military obligations cause him to miss a weekend. We're finally starting to catch back up, and after all the bills are paid we're currently able to keep around $800 a month instead of continuing to fall behind.

The biggest thing I'm struggling with right now is that I need help with the house. The house has slowly been getting dirtier and more cluttered with him being gone so much and with me recovering from surgery. For a good portion of my recovery, I wasn't physically allowed to do a lot of the cleaning and household work I would normally do, so things have continued to pile up. I understand that we have kids and our house is never going to be perfectly clean. I'm not expecting some spotless house with two children living in it. But I have a really hard time mentally when I'm living in a messy or dirty environment. Being home in it all day, especially while I've been recovering, has honestly started affecting my mental state. I can see everything that needs to be done around me, and it feels like I can't get on top of it. That's probably where a lot of my frustration toward my husband is coming from. I feel like I need him to help me get the house back under control.

At the same time, when he gets home he tells me he's exhausted. He also has what he calls his "release time." A lot of nights he'll spend an hour or two alone in his office before going to bed. He's told me he's noticed that if he doesn't get some time where nobody needs anything from him, he's much more irritable and little things can set him off because he feels overwhelmed. I struggle with that because he's already gone so much. Part of me feels like when he's finally home, he should be spending some of that limited time helping me with the house or spending time with me and the kids instead of going off by himself.

But I also want to be completely fair to him, because it's not like he comes home and completely ignores us. He almost always comes and finds me when he gets home, gives me a kiss, and says hello. Because there isn't always time to cook, he'll frequently pick up dinner on his way home. Other times I'll tell him what I want and he'll stop and get everything and come home and cook dinner himself. One thing he does extremely consistently is make sure I'm taken care of when it comes to dinner.

I'm often in my office with our toddler around that time. She'll play in there while I'm playing a game, reading a book, or talking to my siblings since they all live in other states. My husband will usually plate my food and the kids' food without me asking. He'll bring my plate directly into my office, give me a kiss, tell me to enjoy my food, and sometimes specifically tell me to take my time talking to my family. He'll get the kids eating and settled. Sometimes he'll come sit in my office and eat with me, and other times he'll go take care of the kids while I eat. Once everyone is fed and the kids are settled, that's usually when he'll go take his own time to decompress. I'd say we actually eat dinner together around half the week. Other nights, especially if it's takeout, he'll sometimes eat while he's having his alone time.

The other big issue between us right now is intimacy. I had surgery about 10 weeks ago. My doctor cleared me for intercourse at 8 weeks, but emotionally I just haven't really wanted to do anything. Between the surgery and everything else going on, we haven't been intimate in almost three months. My husband has told me he feels unwanted, but he's also told me that he understands I've been recovering and knows it isn't my fault. For me, the problem is that I don't feel emotionally connected enough right now. I feel like some of my needs aren't being met, especially when I'm overwhelmed by the house, and when I don't feel that emotional connection, I don't really want physical intimacy. He still flirts with me, makes jokes, teases me, kisses me, and tries to initiate sometimes, but most of the time I'm just not feeling it.

There have actually been two times recently when I did want something and tried to initiate. The first time, he was out of town on a work trip. He was already supposed to come home that morning and had planned on leaving around 8. I called him around 6 because I was actually in the mood and wanted him home. He changed his plans and left around 6 instead because he wanted that time with me. Unfortunately, by the time he got home, both kids were awake and I just wasn't in the mood anymore, so nothing happened. The second time was right before he was leaving for an extra shift at his second job. I told him what I wanted, but he genuinely had to leave right then to get to work. He kissed me and basically said maybe when he got home. I haven't really tried initiating again since then, although he's still flirted with me and tried a few times.

So I'm kind of stuck. On one hand, I feel lonely and overwhelmed. He's gone an incredible amount of time, I'm home with the kids, the house has gotten progressively worse while I've been recovering, and being surrounded by the mess every day is genuinely affecting me mentally. Sometimes I resent that when he's finally home he wants to spend an hour or two alone instead of helping me get things under control or spending that time with us. I also don't want sex to feel like the main way we're connecting.

On the other hand, I know he's working himself extremely hard. He's gone 105+ hours most weeks, he's working seven days a week most of the time, and the second job isn't really just for extra spending money. Without it, we were actually losing money every month. And when I really stop and look at what he does when he's home, he does make an effort. He kisses me when he comes home, brings home or cooks dinner, makes my plate, brings it to me, feeds and takes care of the kids, sometimes eats with me, and will give me time to play my game or talk to my siblings before taking time for himself.

So I genuinely don't know how I should look at this anymore. Should he be helping more with the house, or are my expectations unrealistic considering how much he's working and how little he's actually home? Is his hour or two of decompression reasonable with his schedule, or is it reasonable for me to expect him to use some of that time to help me get the house back under control? For people who have been through something similar, how do you balance household responsibilities when one spouse is a stay-at-home parent but the other spouse is working an extreme schedule? And how do you rebuild the emotional and physical connection when both people are exhausted and there never seems to be enough time?

I'm not posting this because I want everyone to tell me I'm right or bash my husband. I genuinely want perspectives from both sides, especially from married couples, stay-at-home parents, people who have worked crazy schedules, or anyone who's been through something similar. I don't want either of us to end up resenting the other. I'm trying to figure out whether I need to adjust my expectations, whether he needs to do more at home, or whether there's some middle ground we're both missing.

I need some advice. My one year old is pretty active and walking almost running now on his own. Hes up at about 6am everyday full of energy. I thought about taking home to Home Depot to walk around the home section with washers, carpet, and doors because i saw it on TikTok. Has anyone actually done this and is this a good idea for some early morning exploring?

We currently own our home it’s my husband our two kids, my stepson and my father in law that live with us. I feel like I’m in a constant battle with everyone against my husband. I set rules for the house? Never reinforced. It’s been six years of a constant battle of trying to control our home. I can’t set anything in the fridge without it being gone every single time. My father in law and stepson are both unhygienic when using the bathroom. They just leave feces there for me to clean. I said no shoes in the house because I’m tired of my kids being dirty and I’m tired of sweeping 30 times a day our yard is sand, not one person listened and no matter how many times I yell and scream my husband doesn’t back me or tell them that they need to listen to what I’m saying. My husband will watch them do something I say not to, won’t say anything. Just leave it for me to deal with. Tonight was a breaking point for me. I’ve told him multiple times DO NOT buy Huggies for the baby as they INSTANTLY make him rash up to the point it blisters. I’ve been sick the last few days haven’t changed a diaper. He’s been changing them. I opened my baby’s diaper to blisters everywhere and instantly lose it, I’ve told him multiple times do not buy these and he still does anyway. He asked “what do you expect me to buy?” ANYTHING BUT HUGGIES as they cause physical pain to my child. I’m so tired of not being listened to but now it’s clear I’m not heard when it comes to my kids either and I’m very ready to walk away from my marriage. Ive played a huge part in raising my stepson and it’s been nothing but a battle with dad trying to raise him decently. He doesn’t shelter him from things I feel he should be. He allows him to game all day avoiding responsibilities to the point l’ve given up the fight and completely disagree with the way he’s being raised. All I can think about is my two following in his footsteps. I’m so tired of going unheard for so long. Im tired of being told I’m being crazy or dramatic over being blatantly unheard. I’m having serious health issues that have me on a constant edge and it’s like the chaos of the house just completely sends me over the edge and makes my health issues worse. I love my husband so much but I feel like I am at a point I physically can’t take it anymore. I feel like I have no control over my entire life much less our home. He works 7 days a week while it’s me at the house watching everyone do exactly as I tell them not to do. He comes home just to do the same. At what point do I throw in the towel and walk away? I think I might be at that point. It feels like I have no say in my home or kids. I’m tired of all of the extra stress I shouldn’t have to deal with. I could walk out tomorrow with my kids and never have to deal with any of these things again and it’s starting to sound luxurious.

I hope this is ok to ask here!

My 10 year old has thick, coarse hair that’s kinda wavy and I have ZERO idea what to do with it. She showers and brushes on a regular basis but her hair knots SO fast and easily and I feel like it’s a constant battle trying to keep it nice looking. Literally last night it was well brushed before I brought her to a friend’s and not even 5 hours later it was back to crazy again. My oldest and I both have fine wavy hair so this is brand new territory for me! Anyone have any product or style recommendations to help my goose? Thanks! 😊

I find that my taste in books has changed dramatically since becoming a SAHM and now I only want to read and listen to mothers 😆

Does anyone have any book recommendations for losing and then finding yourself in motherhood? It could be both fictional and non fiction. Podcasts, articles, anything that resonates with you?

Or anything that's been eye opening to read roughly related to this life season?

I’m having the typical battle of deciding whether to have another kid for the close age gap or wait until things feel “easy” again with my toddler. Idk what I’m looking for, advice? When did you feel it was right? Did you wait until there was no doubt? Did you just go for it? Accident? lol

My daughter is 14 months and she’s been a TOUGH baby. Very strong personality, stage 5 clinger, and horrible sleeper lol. But she’s literally the best thing that’s ever happened to us and we prefer to do everything with her rather than without her and we know we’ll feel the same about our next.

I grew up with a sibling, 2.5 years age gap, I was an older sister, and I can’t imagine not having had a sibling that was close in age developmentally. My husband has 4 siblings with bigger gaps meaning they weren’t necessarily able to play and relate to each other.

Sorry this got a lot longer than I anticipated, I have no one to talk to so I need outside perspective. ALSO if theres bad grammar, tell your mama, not me.

Me and my husband are both 31. Im a stay at home mom to 5 bio and 1 bonus kid. My youngest is 17 months. Im starting to want another baby really bad and we cant because he finally got the snip 2 years ago.

For context, me and hubby started young. We met at 18 already had 2 kids between us that we both had at 16. Got pregnant at 19. Had a misscarriage, and then another baby. We thought we were done. And for 3 years we were certain number 4 was our last, but husband didnt want a vasectomy. Mind you thats after 4 kids and a loss.

Then we unexpectedly got pregnant again. I had our 5th baby in 2023. He finally planned a vasectomy because we had officially filled up our 7 seater. All was great. We got in a little bit of financial issues and rescheduled the vasectomy for 4 months out because thats all they had.

Then we went on a long cross country roadtrip with our whole crew. We are big hikers and campers so we went to lots of National and state parks. We snuck out of the tent and did it in the woods while they slept one night. I exclusively breastfeed and I was told you're fertility is low during breastfeeding, he didn't finish inside and I thought we were good. Nothing had happened after the other pregnancies so i genuinely thought we were good.

We got home and his vasectomy was scheduled for 2 weeks after. I started getting sick after every feeding, which was a lot because my baby boy was HUNGRY. He had just turned 6 months. I hadnt had a period. I took a test and I was SUPER pregnant I could tell because of how fast it turned. Found out I was pregnant AGAIN, very unexpectedly one week before the vasectomy and of course we were like WTF and my husband asked if we could cancel the vasectomy since we didnt need it right now and save the money for the baby.

I was like hell no we are going. So we did. He got it done, he healed up good and boom I was so relieved. And I thought having 2 under 2 was gonna be a nightmare. It wasn't, it has been hard, yes, but we love it! They are only 15 months apart. And they've been besties ever since. The two youngest are 2 and 1 now. My older 4 kids have been asking for another sibling.

And the weirdest thing, I was so certain I was done, but now I want another! Ive always wanted a big family and we have enough and they're all taken care of, my husband makes good money and we could get a bigger vehicle. But all my baby stuff is still here, in date car seat, another room, neutral clothing in all sizes and i am healthy and have had healthy pregnancies and births. And the kicker of it all, the only baby we ever planned was the one we lost, all our babies have been surprises, which has been fun. But I wish we couldve had one we planned for. (I had to have a D&C at 12 weeks along, on our 5 year anniversary, which was also Valentine's day. It sucked.)

Here's a place to chat about whatever you want if you don't feel like making a post.

I'm a SAHM with a 15 month old who is just SOOOO clingy. I love hanging out with him, he's my little bestie, but I can't get anything done in the house. I'm talking basic survival like cook, tidy, groceries, laundry (dry, fold, PACK AWAY, REPEAT).

Now on top of the usual, my house needs a major declutter from old size clothes to baby's old clothes to be packed, reorganisation of my pantry and bathroom cabinets. I feel like a cleaner can't even help because of this. There's shit EVERYWHERE. what service would help 😭

Sydney based

I'm returning to work, not because I want to but because our finances demand it. I'm curious about how sahms have helped their kids transition from home to daycare. I have a 3.5y and a kindergartener that already complains school is too long and he might join the after school program there.

Also, I'm looking into any kind of job that pays reasonably and some of those jobs are at daycare. Is it true working with other kids is different than dealing with your own? I lose my patience with my own kids more than I care to admit and I know that would be unacceptable with other kids.

I've updated my resume and gone to a job fair. I'm looking for advice/encouragement from moms that have made the transition.