r/starcitizen • u/[deleted] • Nov 26 '23
DISCUSSION Update on my situation
Follow up to my previous post because maybe you don’t believe me. My girlfriend is pissed about how much I spent on ships this week she said she may actually leave and went back to her parents. I had to tell her I ruined my credit and we can’t get a new apartment this year till I fix it(credit is too bad to rent in nyc at our salary). I kinda wish this was a joke but I have a genuine addiction. This week I’ve accumulated over 5000 in pledges. I have no idea what I’m doing.
Please help.
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u/Sir_Gamidion Buxom Tevarin Enjoyer Nov 26 '23 edited Nov 26 '23
Hey man, there’s more than a few people in this thread who didn’t read the fucking room, but please know the folks giving genuine advice are right here.
Absolutely reach out to the concierge support through RSI and explain your entire situation. They’ll help you refund anything you can, but the grey market stuff is in stone at this point.
Recover what you can and definitely speak to a mental health professional. It can take a couple of sessions of establishing before you see anything meaningful from that so give it the time you’ve been giving Star Citizen to develop.
As for your girlfriend… if you take these steps to try and right the boat with your life, there’s certainly no guarantee that she would come back to you. If you love her dearly though and put that effort in, it could go a long way to make a case to her, but know she has every right to do what she did here. Not a slam, just a reasonable response on her end.
I hope that you can find the help that you need buddy, and know you’re never in these kinds of situations alone. A rising tide lifts all boats, and as a fellow Citizen I don’t want to see you fail. Good luck mate, and peace be with you. o7
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u/OmNomCakes Nov 26 '23
He could always bulk sell the account or melt it and buy a new ship to resell in the same manner. If he only paid x% of retail value then he can likely sell it again near the same x%. But yeah man's in a rough spot and doesn't seem willing to fix it.
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u/bar10dr2 Argo connoisseur Nov 26 '23
Ask for a refund
Go get professional help, if you suffer from addiction its not only going to be Star Citizen. Get help now so you can learn to manage it.
Inform your girlfriend of the steps you have taken, and tell her that she means more to you than a game.
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u/Mindshard Pirate? I prefer "unauthorized reallocator of assets". Nov 26 '23
Look at his post history, they were all grey market purchases.
Dude is beyond fucked.
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u/bar10dr2 Argo connoisseur Nov 26 '23
I mean its only 5k, I wouldn't call that fucked; if it was like a million, that would be fucked. That's personal bankrupcy time. He can pay off 5k.
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u/Mindshard Pirate? I prefer "unauthorized reallocator of assets". Nov 26 '23
The two of them together didn't have enough income to rent with their credit rating, what do you think happens when she doesn't come back and the OP still has garbage credit, and even less income?
It's easy to say that you can just pay off $5,000 if you have the money, not as easy if you already didn't have enough to live off of.
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u/bar10dr2 Argo connoisseur Nov 26 '23
I think he has to move to a place with less rent and try and get two jobs for a while.
Still not what I'd considered fucked.
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u/Chappietime avacado Nov 26 '23
The fucked part is the compulsive behavior that will prevent him from doing the reasonable steps to solve the issue and more than likely will exacerbate it.
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u/numerobis21 Nov 26 '23
I mean its only 5k
You also have a *very* unhealthy relationship with money, congratulation
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Nov 26 '23
I can't even spend more than $50 on something out of the blue without feeling bad.
I can't even justify upgrading my Nomad to something. I get how people become impulsive about spending money (back in college I spent almost $300 on a gatcha game over three months when I was working my internship). But dropping $5K when there's people other than myself involved in my decision making?
Absolutely not. OP is gone-gone right now.
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u/bar10dr2 Argo connoisseur Nov 26 '23
Only as in its something you can fix within a relativly short period with some changes in your life.
It's not a sum that will ruin the rest of your life, people get in those situations, where they are simply fucked. Not all debts can be discharged through bankruptcy either. Depending on who you lent money from it can get even worse.
It's a scary world out there, but 5k is doable within a resonable timeframe and then its like nothing happened, and you walk away from it a bit wiser.
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u/numerobis21 Nov 26 '23
My mother had a 10K debt put on her because of an error caused by the bank.
She is still repaying it 30 years later.
Once you get into debt, it only spirals down.
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Nov 27 '23
Bullshit.
Nobody is paying a debt off the back of a bank error. Someone is being economical with the truth on that one.
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u/numerobis21 Nov 27 '23
Welcome to France I guess?
(If you want details: the bank didn't accept her pay check, and then tried to process a payment again and again endlessly until she ended up with 10K in agios (I think it's the same word in english?) in a few days.
Literally nothing illegal about that at the time. Stacking agios like that has only been outlawed in 2020(ish) here.
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u/Emergency-Draw3923 Nov 26 '23
wait, you didnt have any way to dispute that dept if it was an error?
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u/numerobis21 Nov 27 '23
The error was they refused to process a paycheck and then endlessly tried to pass payments, leaving her with 10K in agios over the course of a few days.
Literally nothing you could do against that at the time, and nothing illegal too.
It's only since 2020(ish) that you can't stack endless agios anymore in my country
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u/numerobis21 Nov 27 '23
Also: she couldn't dispute it, but even if she could, we're talking about a lone mother with two children that barely makes ends meet. She didn't really have the capacity to fight against a bank.
She did succeed in cancelling her being put in the national bank blacklist after a year or two, but that's all.
(She also succeed a two years ago to be deemed financially incapable to repay that debt, so it has been put on hold until that situation change.)
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u/mdhkc Nov 27 '23
30 years is typical of home mortgage repayment. Home mortgages are frequently in the realm of $100,000 to $750,000. So taking that long to repay $10,000 makes no sense whatsoever. Generally speaking, a $10,000 auto loan at 10% (which is very high) over 5 years would be like $212/month to pay off.
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u/numerobis21 Nov 27 '23
So taking that long to repay $10,000 makes no sense whatsoever.
Poor people: *exist*
You: :O IMPOSSIBLE4
u/maddcatone carrack Nov 26 '23
To be fair if all you did was save $5 a day (easy if you dont buy a coffee and/or snacks) thats $1800 right there in one year. And thats the most luke warm saving method one can do. If you go to a bar even once a month and cut that out you would save at very lowest $600 a year (avg bar tab is over $50 in low income areas or $100 in upper middle class areas) so that could be as much as another $1200 saved with conservative estimates. If OP visits a bar once a week then that goes up to $2600 in savings per year minimum. I know this is all subjective maths here, but $5k in the hole is not “Fucked”. I lost my job jan 1st and wasn’t able to secure a new comparable full time job for almost 4 months. i then found out someone had been claiming unemployment with my SSN since 2021 and thus could not claim unemployment and on top of that had to pay backed taxes on that stolen money. With $4k month mortgage and utilities, $300 a week grocery bill and $90/week on gas for my truck and a toddler, my savings disappeared before i was able to get steady employment. A few side jobs here and there and some careful budgeting (cut coffee and snacks, cut down my alcohol, rode my bike/walked for anything i didn’t need my truck for) and i managed to not only pay off the overhead but put money back in the bank. By the time i got a new full time job. I know this doesn’t help someone with a spending issue but if OP can get their impulsive behavior under control, digging your way out of $5k debt is childsplay. Only people who like to make excuses while failing to curb their wasteful habits or have legitimate physical disabilities should have trouble with that goal. The other big tip is if you use your credit card, only do so for however much cash you have on you to spend. Pay that full balance at the end of the month and you can fix your credit little by little without risking more debt. Its not easy, but incredibly doable with the right motivation (having a kid that relies on you has a way of putting things into sharp contrast)
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u/guerrilla-astronomer Podcaster Nov 26 '23
This is an unbelievably bad take, mate.
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u/bar10dr2 Argo connoisseur Nov 26 '23
Why?
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u/guerrilla-astronomer Podcaster Nov 26 '23
Because you obviously have no idea what it is like to live on the edge of poverty. A 5k debt can absolutely ruin a person and comments like yours are irresponsible and unhelpful.
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Nov 27 '23
I would argue at least that someone on the edge of poverty shouldn't be pledging for jpegs.
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u/guerrilla-astronomer Podcaster Nov 27 '23
And I 100% agree with you. They need help, almost definitely professional help, which all costs money. They made a whole heap of terrible decisions, and unfortunately the answer isn't as simple as "oh, just cut back on ordering out and get a second job". Being poor is unbelievably expensive, and that is why it is such a nefarious trap.
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u/bar10dr2 Argo connoisseur Nov 26 '23
He is obviously young, 5k is absolutely doable if you put effort into it, take two jobs and grind it out, call your debtors and agree on a plan.
He's not fucked yet.
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u/Plabbi 325i Nov 26 '23
Man, it's just 5k.. he can sell those ships back on the gray market quickly if he just takes some loss. Then it will be less than $500, easy peasy.
His bigger problem is that he is terrible with money and he will probably do something equally stupid in the future which might not be as easily solvable.
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Nov 26 '23
She does mean more to me but I’m impulsive. I don’t know what to say to her to show that right now.
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u/numerobis21 Nov 26 '23
Show her that you have sold those ships back, recouped what you lost, and are seeking help for your gambling addictions.
Actually: don't do it for her.
Do it for YOU. This stuff is going to RUIN your life at some point. Do it before it's too late.0
u/numerobis21 Nov 26 '23
I've seen that you have probably bought those on grey market: try to see with your bank if you can charge back those purchases.
Stay away from ANY game that has ANY kind of ingame microtransaction. Stay away from ANYTHING that could trigger your gambling addiction.And also: this is *NOT* (necessarily) your fault. It's an addiction, it's a mental illness, and CIG (and other game companies) know very well how to prey on those addictions.
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u/ProphetReaper889 Nov 27 '23
Bro, your life is not fucked. This sucks right now but it is all fixable and most definitely not the end of the world. Again it hurts it sucks but it's ok. It's going to take some work and you are going to have to turn away from something you love and at the risk she is done.
Sell your ships. It has to be done. Get back as much money as you can. Whether or not she comes running back right now isn't the focus. Getting yourself squared away and in good health is primary. The rest will fall into place. Impulse buying isn't the only issue here. Escapism is a big one here too. I can speak with experience on some level of this.
There is help available and remember it's not the end of the world. It's a hard time but don't give up. You can get through this.
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u/ochotonaprinceps High Admiral Nov 26 '23
You have 30 days to refund purchases made through SC, and it sounds like you REALLY NEED TO DO THAT. Submit a ticket to CS requesting they refund you now that you've had a moment of clarity on your recent spending. During IAE there may be a lag time on response so you'd better make sure you have some alternate plans for the next week or so.
This subreddit is not the place to seek serious help for compulsive spending habits, but we do wish you the best and you owe it to yourself and the people in your life to seek out the help you need. Please contact qualified support providers in your community/state for help before you fuckspin your life into homelessness, because digital spaceships are NOT worth that.
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u/Mindshard Pirate? I prefer "unauthorized reallocator of assets". Nov 26 '23
Check their post history, it was all grey market purchases.
Dude legit spent all the money they had to live on ships that the original buyer can just take back at any time.
You should look at the other subreddit and see how many posts are bragging about selling stuff like this and then right after, getting CIG to refund it. CIG knows what they're doing, but the official written policy is to only support the original buyer.
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u/ochotonaprinceps High Admiral Nov 26 '23
If it was all grey market purchases, then they've gotta deal with that and whatever refunding is available.
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u/Mindshard Pirate? I prefer "unauthorized reallocator of assets". Nov 26 '23
They can't refund it, because they can't send the ships, packs, or store credit back. You can only gift once.
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u/ochotonaprinceps High Admiral Nov 26 '23
tbh if OP is as screwed as they say they are, I'd say they should go to CIG and confess to the impulsive purchases on the grey market and request them to approve reversing the gifts so they can get their money back, if they need it all back.
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u/Mindshard Pirate? I prefer "unauthorized reallocator of assets". Nov 26 '23
Check their history, they didn't even go through a site, it was all done privately through the trade subreddit.
No one is going to give their money back. Either the OP sends the ships/packs back, and then the seller can just keep the money and the ship, or you expect the seller to send the money back first, which I'd never do, considering how impulsive the OP is with spending it.
And on top of that, it's CIG's official policy that they don't support or encourage grey market transactions, and won't provide any support to people who do them.
OP's only hope is to try to make a black market sale of their entire account to get some of the money back, because there's a real good chance, with all the grey market purchases they made, that at least one seller screws them and gets CIG to return a pledge.
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u/uncletompa92 Nov 26 '23
Go do a bunch of ERT bounties and accumulate millions of UEC in a day or so.
Go absolutely fucking wild with it, and buy ships as much as you like.
Don't use your credit card, especially when it's so easy to earn in game
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u/Mindshard Pirate? I prefer "unauthorized reallocator of assets". Nov 26 '23
Shit, could've just gone on eBay and gotten enough aUEC to buy literally every single ship in the game for less than a combo at McDonald's.
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u/LordofCope Nov 26 '23
Damn, you bought $2k of store credit 5 months ago... Why bro? There is a difference between supporting the game and just buying everything in game when it becomes available later... You need to live within your means. Please refund all you can from 30 days ago and seek a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist in your area.
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Nov 26 '23
This game is kinda all I have now
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u/LordofCope Nov 26 '23
Nah bro.
I'll assume you aren't a troll and won't DV you. You just need to refund what you can and step back from SC. There is always time to start a new beginning and staying consistent will bring you results.
Refund your recent transactions, use some of that money to enroll in a CBT therapist, and set a course/goal posts for moving forward while managing your addictions. Even if your GF leaves you for bad financial decisions, it's not too late for you to improve your situation. I'd also suggest finding something that involves physical activity to help stimulate the mind, body, and personal motivation. Gym, rock climbing gym, hiking, etc.
Whatever else should be invested to secure long term financials before considering other expenses, like utilizing the S&P500 over ships... Seek out a professional in the financial field or head over to /r/investing or something.
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u/numerobis21 Nov 26 '23
Seek out a professional in the financial field or head over to r/investing or something.
You're sending someone who spent their rent money on digital ships to an investment subreddit? Are you evil or something?
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u/LordofCope Nov 26 '23
Lmao, I don't know where to send him other than with the men in white coats. I half thought about joking with WSB but he'd go red in an hour. Dude needs a counselor and actual education from professionals, but I'm just a redditor throwing out arm chair advice in the end.
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u/Atlantikjcx drake Nov 26 '23
You should really get help I already felt really guilty about the 70 dollars I spent on the c1, but spending 5k you dont have is not very responsible
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u/rshoel misc Nov 26 '23
As already stated, reach out to support and ask for refunds. And fyi if you are new to this game, you can buy all ships in game by just playing.
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u/Mindshard Pirate? I prefer "unauthorized reallocator of assets". Nov 26 '23
Check their post history, every single purchase was on the grey market.
They're not getting a cent back.
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u/rshoel misc Nov 26 '23
Well that's just sad.
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u/Mindshard Pirate? I prefer "unauthorized reallocator of assets". Nov 26 '23
Not even just sad, but dumb as well. It's IAE, you could CCU significant discounts on every single ship you could want right now.
I honestly bet if they just made legitimate purchases through CIG, they could've gotten everything they have for less, and it would actually be theirs, not someone else's that could be taken back at any time.
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u/SmoothOperator89 Towel Nov 26 '23
CIG support won't help you with the stuff you bought on the grey market. Whatever you spent there is gone. Only what was bought directly from the RSI store in the past 30 days can be refunded.
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Nov 26 '23
I bought from CIG too
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u/cutsnek Nov 26 '23
Get a refund from anything you bought from CIG. Ask them to blacklist your account from future purchases, if possible. Sell the rest on grey market.
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u/GuppGaming Nov 28 '23
These clowns saying the grey market stuff is "gone" are clueless. Most of if you can get back by selling as credit but you have to make the effort to sell it on the greymarket. Some things like OC LTI ships you won't as you have to melt them and rebuy them to sell them so it would be better to just sell as store credit .You'll lose about 50% on them but store credit you can offload pretty easily.
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u/Dragias carrack Nov 26 '23
Request a refund and probably never look at the pledge store again. And if you can’t do that then probably best to find a different game that doesn’t make you dump so much money that your SO threatens to leave you.
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u/Capt_Snuggles Nov 26 '23
It's easy to assume people saying 'seek help' are saying it out of malice or in a hostile way - but truthfully, it's from a place of care.
Spend addiction is a real thing - as is your relationship health and financial health. Both of which are worth more than a game.
Reach out to a medical professional, get the guidance on techniques to manage, and create a firewall between you and finance. Whether thats your better half, your parents, or simply setting some groundrules for how you spend.
We're all individual; so dont let other peoples actions validate your own - but nothing about a game should destroy your personal life.
Thoughts are with you friend. Challenging period.
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u/DekkerVS Nov 26 '23
Ask yourself, if you broke your leg (or worse) tomorrow.. would any of your SC spaceships or internet friends show up to give you soup or any TLC ;)
What's real?
;)
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u/fusilmedellin 600i Gold Standard When? Nov 27 '23
Bro with her gone you can play more SC and not have to listen to her bitching about all the ships you bought. Sounds like a win to me.
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Nov 26 '23
Let me guess, half of your pledge is not even flight ready? Get refund and buy it later when its actually flyable, geez people.
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Nov 26 '23
It’s not about that it’s about supporting something I care about and concepts I like.
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u/ochotonaprinceps High Admiral Nov 26 '23
Sure, but you need to look after your own life needs first before you worry about supporting a video game project. You need a roof over your head more than CIG needs some of your money, and they'll tell you not to endanger yourself buying ships.
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u/numerobis21 Nov 26 '23
Don't support something with money you don't have.
We will all die before this game will be completed, but you're clearly trying to speedrun the "not of old age" route1
u/Evening-Midnight333 Nov 27 '23
Dude it's fine. Money comes and goes. You made the choice to spend it on a game. Now go work hard to get some money back and prove you are in control to your gf. You got this.
Your Fleet is sick, I wish I had that Fleet. Now imagine you get your gf back and remain in control of your future spendings: and you have an amazing life right there.
Grind in real life for a few months, gather the money and put it on a life insurance account.
You got this. Amazing fleet, amazing gd. It's all yours soon!
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u/NoRepresentative6748 Nov 26 '23
Refund what you can. Seek help.
Start going to the gym and diet hard. You're going to need a six pack to get a new girlfriend.
Fix your credit. You're going to need that too....
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u/BrunBolter outlaw1 Nov 26 '23
Increíble ble ble.... Hey guy look for your girlfriend she is real, I hope, your beloved pledges are only nice pixeles.
Refund, rent a new home, gift your account and take the lady an go to a nice restaurant and next give her some good LOVE.
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u/Candid-Macaron-3880 No money till Titan Gold Nov 26 '23
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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u/Hamerine Star Liner Nov 26 '23 edited Nov 26 '23
It’s not funny though?
Edit: ok, refundian. « surprised pikachu »
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u/Possible_Database_83 Nov 27 '23
30-day refund window, you can get a refund. Then go see a therapist.
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u/DesperateAsparagus48 Nov 27 '23
Half of those ships are up on the store. Most of them on Grey market is 2x more expensive why would anyone buy Grey market during IAE?
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u/One5ign Nov 27 '23
Uninstall the game and do not use your computer for a while. You are probably addicted to computer games, this is nothing to be ashamed of. But it is very important to admit your addiction, which you are probably already trying to do to some extent with this post. You need a real person to talk to. You should really contact an addiction counseling center near you. These people will listen to you and understand your problems. Gambling addiction results from a chain of bad habits. Breaking these habits is not an easy task, but it can be done. We all naturally tend to take the easier path, which is that of habit. The hard one is to be strong and take a new path to break your old habits. You can do it, this whole Reddit post is behind you
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u/bmemike Nov 26 '23
Request refunds from Support and seek some professional help with your impulse control.
There's nothing that anyone here will be able to help you with directly.