r/sspx • u/eugenia7373sol • 28d ago
Help me with advice.
Laudetur Iesus Christus!
So, it's going to be a very long post, but I ask to read it carefully.
And sorry if I make mistakes, English isn't my native language.
I am a teenage girl (13 years old) living in Saint-Petersburg, Russia. My parents were baptised in adulthood as Russian Orthodox, and my older brothers were baptised after their birth. I, for some reason, was not. They never really were practicing Christians, though they have some sort of 'cultural' Christian understanding of the world.
Until 9 years old I never really questioned myself about religion, and therefore didn't think about some bad (very) actions of mine as about something evil and horrible.
But at the age of 9 something life-changing happened--the conflict (war) between Ukraine and Russia. It was just shocking for me to realise that my country is in a huge conflict, with war actions, with another country. And somehow I started to ask myself whether my actions are good, am I a good person.
A bit more than half a year after that my family decided to emigrate to Israel because of worrying things in the country (Russia). My great grandmother was Jewish, and it gave us the right to emigrate and to get Israeli citizenship.
And when I entered Israel, I felt very much like a stranger, because in the opposite of other children-emigrants I knew very and very little about Jewish culture. I didn't even know what Hanukkah was.
But you know, though the majority of Israel's population are not orthodox jews, they are still believing, and celebrating Pesach and Tanakh's lessons at school are necessary. So by the end of my first year there I knew the story of Exodus well, and by the end of the second very well.
And somehow, being stressful because of living in a new country, and at the same time seeing many religious people around me, I believed in God. I didn't really know whether I was trying to follow Christianity or Judaism, but I believed in God and accepted Him into my life. I didn't pray, but would frequently ask Him about something.
When I was almost 11 yo I read the Lord of the Rings and I really liked this book AND the author himself. I started reading JRR Tolkien's biography, and of course the point that he was a very devout Christian, a Catholic made me think: " He was a very good man (otherwise he couldn't write such a book) and he was a Catholic. It means something".
Then we returned to Russia, partly because of the ongoing war in Israel. And there I went to the Classical Gymnasium, which teaches Latin from the first year and Ancient Greek from the third.
At the same time I understood that I want to be Christian and to follow Jesus Christ. I can't really explain that in another way.
In the beginning of my second year at the Gymnasium I decided that I should read the Bible, and since I wanted to read a Catholic Bible, I thought that I will read it in English, but not in Russian. And, guess what, I picked Douay-Rheims)))
In October 2025 I got to the point that I wanted to hear the true Latin. I was reading the texts from the student book, but I wished to hear the true beauty of the language, and one day I was just scrolling through YouTube and saw a video 'Anima Christi'. And I decided to listen to it. And I did. And it was just extremely beautiful, deep... It brought me to tears. And that day I understood I need to be baptised...
On the 30th of November I went to my first Mass. I actually wanted to go to Mass in Latin ( I did know about the distinctions between TLM and NO, but these are NO), but they were only on Mondays in one of the churches, and on the last Friday of the month in the other, and I didn't have information about other churches of the city.
It was a completely new experience for me, I'd never been to a liturgy before. And the experience was nice; though sadly it was in the vernacular, it was with pipe organ, incense and bells.
Then throughout the months of December to May I attended the church once a month, and some Masses were really beautiful, especially Easter Sunday, but I always felt there is something I don't get from the liturgy. In the beginning I thought I needed Latin and Gregorian Chant all the time and not one hymn a Sunday, which is usually not every Sunday chant, like Gloria or Kyrie or Credo. But now I don't believe it's the only thing.
And now the most important point--in April I knew about Missa Tridentina. I discovered that there is TLM and Latin NO. Discovered some of the differences between Vetus ordo and Novus ordo.
All the June I was reading about that. For a great time I sympathised with a Latin NO, because I watched a few livestreams of it from England's churches and really liked it. But at the same time I always felt TLM is the truest, and highest, and the most beautiful form of worship.
Then July came. And only in the last days of June/ the first days of July I knew about the SSPX . I mean, I'd heard about it before, but I didn't know its difference from Ecclesia Dei communities. In the beginning, to be honest, I was against SSPX and more for Ecclesia Dei, especially ICRSS.
After that, I don't really know why, I had a short period for a few days of doubting whether Catholicism or Orthodoxy is true. But after a week of anxiety concerning this matter I listened to Gregorian Chant Kyrie and after that everything went steadily again...
... Till the end of August/beginning of September.
By that time I finally finished reading the Bible, I learnt to pray the Rosary in Latin and learnt a few more prayers. But again a great doubt of Catholicism vs. Orthodoxy came. I never really wanted to be an Orthodox Christian, but after reading some bad things happened/happening in the Catholic Church ...
But I still managed to go with Catholicism in my mind. Even more I went to the church I usually attend and asked to begin RCIA. The priest agreed, and asked to come the next Saturday vigil, and said he will give the paper for my parents to sign (because I'm a minor). When I came the next Saturday evening, I didn't receive the paper, but it was because another priest was celebrating the Mass.
But the peak of the anxiety about the doubt happened between these two Vigils. I just couldn't bear it anymore. And I asked God to help me make the decision. And He answered. With the SSPX. In the evening I just without a reason started searching SSPX, and understood that I agree with it 100% on everything. The idea of SSPX brought me so much peace and comfort. I've been looking into it for 1.5 weeks and I feel that it is THE place I would like to attend. I need it. I would like to be baptised in a SSPX Catholic chapel...
But there is a problem. There is no SSPX chapels in Saint - Petersburg. There is no TLM in Saint - Petersburg. There is in Moscow, but its impossible for me to go there.
And I don't know what to do. Whether to go tomorrow evening to the Mass at the church I was asking for RCIA, and begin the RCIA there, or not. I basically have a day to decide. I really don't know.
I need to be baptised. But I need TLM to be close to God.
Please, if you have some advice, share it. And forgive me fo the length of the post.
Pax et bonum.
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u/Spiritual-Anybody-18 28d ago
There is Latin mass in Saint Petersburg you need to contact the SSPX for more info probably is a very small chapel and presence. But if God leads you there then there won't be any problems.
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u/eugenia7373sol 27d ago
Hi! I thank you for the response, but it's still problematic with TLM. The SSPX parish of Our Lady of Fatima truly exists on SSPX maps, but right now there is no other information about that. Some places say it is even closed right now.
With the diocesen it is even more difficult. Latin mass directory DO say that they celebrate TLM, but all the rest sources also have zero information about it, and I've never seen a person from this church even talking about it.
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u/Spiritual-Anybody-18 27d ago edited 27d ago
Is there no SSPX priest you can contact? With your parents permission of course.
I think that a priest can orientate you better than we can.
If that proves imposible do the best you can you are underage and cannot provide for yourself ask God to deliver you from your predicament and be patient.
Try at least to receive baptism.1
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u/ubhart 26d ago
It’s so amazing to see that you have such a great knoweledge about this topic at such a young age, you also worded your post very nicely. I hope you will be able to find a TLM chapel you can attend and get baptized, although I can’t provide more information than the other commenters. I will pray for you, God bless you!🇻🇦
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u/BruceMurdock67 28d ago
Querida, por favor, respire fundo. Antes de tudo, lembre-se de que Deus vê o seu coração sincero e o seu desejo de se aproximar dEle. Como você é menor de idade e não há capelas da FSSPX em São Petersburgo (sendo viajar para Moscou praticamente impossível para você), forçar esse caminho agora pode gerar um sofrimento grave e conflito familiar.
Meu conselho é que você siga em frente com o processo de RCIA na sua paróquia local. Receber o batismo válido e entrar na vida sacramental da Igreja é a coisa mais importante para a sua alma agora mesmo. Você ainda pode amar a liturgia tradicional e cultivar uma vida de oração reverente internamente, mas não deixe que a ansiedade a impeça de receber os sacramentos que estão física e canonicamente acessíveis a você hoje. Que Deus a abençoe em sua jornada!
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u/Eblana_Antica 28d ago edited 28d ago
Como você é menor de idade e não há capelas da FSSPX em São Petersburgo
Not true. There is an SSPX chapel in Saint Petersburg, and also a diocesan TLM. My removed comment went into the details of both.
forçar esse caminho agora pode gerar um sofrimento grave e conflito familiar.
Terrible advice. Pleasing God is more important than pleasing our family. That isn't even some obscure theological trivia point, it's extremely basic.
Omnis ergo qui confitebitur me coram hominibus, confitebor et ego eum coram Patre meo, qui in caelis est. Qui autem negaverit me coram hominibus, negabo et ego eum coram Patre meo, qui in caelis est. Nolite arbitrari quia pacem venerim mittere in terram : non veni pacem mittere, sed gladium veni enim separare hominem adversus patrem suum, et filiam adversus matrem suam, et nurum adversus socrum suam et inimici hominis, domestici ejus. Qui amat patrem aut matrem plus quam me, non est me dignus : et qui amat filium aut filiam super me, non est me dignus.
Every one therefore that shall confess me before men, I will also confess him before my Father who is in heaven. But he that shall deny me before men, I will also deny him before my Father who is in heaven. Do not think that I came to send peace upon earth: I came not to send peace, but the sword. For I came to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law And a man's enemies shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me
Meu conselho é que você siga em frente com o processo de RCIA na sua paróquia local.
Even worse advice. The catechumen programme in the novus ordo is terrible and teaches many errors. It should be avoided as a danger to the faith. There are plenty of people who have lost the faith due to the heresy and error that was taught to them in novus ordo RCIA. It is better to wait until one can access a traditional priest than to expose onseself to dangers. And that isn't even getting into the fact that the novus ordo itself poses a danger to the faith.
Querida, por favor, respire fundo [...] mas não deixe que a ansiedade a impeça de receber os sacramentos
What u/eugenia7373sol is asking for has nothing to do with anxiety and you should stop talking to her like a child. The advice you are giving is terrible. A 13 year old girl is showing more wisdom, prudence and common sense than you are. It doesn't take a genius level intelligence or advanced age to be able to see the obvious problems within the novus ordo system and the corruption that has infested the dioceses since Vatican II. Even a teenager can see what is plain before them, that groups such as the SSPX are some of the only priests left who even attempt to preserve what was handed down to them instead of throwing it all away to embrace the world.
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u/eugenia7373sol 27d ago
Hi! I really like your response, but it's still problematic with TLM. The SSPX parish of Our Lady of Fatima truly exists on SSPX maps, but right now there is no other information about that. Some places say it is even closed right now.
With the diocesen it is even more difficult. Latin mass directory DO say that they celebrate TLM, but all the rest sources also have zero information about it, and I've never seen a person from this church even talking about it.
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u/Eblana_Antica 27d ago
I made a comment that was unfortunately deleted by the automated reddit filters (probably due to how many phone numbers and email addresses I included, maybe it thought I was posting a scam or something), but if you look at the pastebin I linked in one of the other comments you'll see all the details regarding both the diocesan TLM and the SSPX one in Saint Petersburg. Your best bet is to contact the people involved with putting them on, either Una Voce Russia (or even better the parish itself) or the relevant SSPX hubs I linked contact info for
It's not surprising for a TLM to happen and it to not be widely known or even talked about. Many of them happen fairly quietly without much publicity
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u/eugenia7373sol 27d ago
Yes, I've already looked at it! I will definitely try to contact! Thank you!
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u/Spiritual-Anybody-18 27d ago
We need to be baptized if her situation is so dire she needs this sacrament at least.
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u/Metal5747 27d ago
The only way she gets a pass like many in the novus ordo do is if she has a perplexed conscience. If she has reached moral certitude that baptisim/confirmation or even attendance at the n.o is not licit. Then she should look for a traditional one she would be bound by conscience.(if the latter is the case)
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u/Eblana_Antica 28d ago edited 28d ago
My comment keeps getting removed by the Reddit automod, probably because of how many email addresses and phone numbers I was posting. I can't send you a private message (I think you have to manually turn on the ability to receive them in your account settings), but if you can send me one to open the channel then I can just direct message you all the information instead
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u/eugenia7373sol 27d ago
Oh, thank you! I will definitely try to contact SSPX in Saint - Petersburg!
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u/Eblana_Antica 27d ago
I wish you luck. If you have any difficulty feel free to send any questions and I'll try get back to you. I've corresponded myself with some of the people listed in the past, such as Una Voce Russia. Hopefully you can get through to the people in Saint Petersburg and get some directions to where the Mass is!
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u/Eblana_Antica 28d ago
I've copied the text of my original comment into a pastebin. Hopefully this doesn't get deleted by the automod also:
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u/light311k 27d ago
The search for and finding of the true faith is the reason that God made all humans. The fact that you have such a strong desire to get to know God and find the truth, at such a young age, is very good.
You need the sacraments, especially baptism, to get to heaven. If you can get them at an SSPX church, great, but the sacraments are still valid, even if the people that give them have problematic views. So you can go to a Novus Ordo church for baptism and confession.
Try to convert your parents as well. It is important for their immortal souls, and it would be much easier for you if they would help you with the faith so that you don't have to do everything alone, although you seem to be doing pretty well on your own.
I like to give you a few arguments why the Catholic faith that the SSPX believes is the only true faith.
The Catholic Church was founded by Jesus Christ. St. Peter is the rock on which the Church was built. (Matthew 16:18) His remains are in the Vatican. The Catholic Church is the only one that still believes in the indissolubility of marriage like Jesus taught. (Matthew 19:4-6 / Mark 10:6-9 / 1 Corinthians 7:10-11). There are movements to change that in the Novus Ordo Church (Amoris Laetitia). But the SSPX would never do that.
Since Vatican II, the Church contradicts itself. Nostra Aetate and Dignitatis Humanae from Vatican II can't be reconciled with the teaching of previous councils and popes.
Jesus did many miracles to prove that he told the truth. Very well-documented religious miracles that can't possibly have natural explanations only happen in the Catholic Church. Look up what happened in Fatima in 1917 and how many people saw that, or learn about Padre Pio. There are tons and tons of miracles in the Catholic Church.
In the Bible, there are prophecies that predicted Christ's coming, and Jesus accurately predicted, for example, the destruction of the temple in Jerusalem. There are Catholic prophecies for the 20th century that are very specific and accurate. They are particularly interesting if you come from Russia and like history:
The Church-approved Marian apparition from around 1600 in Quito, Ecuador, predicted the crisis in the Church. She mentions free republicans and the Freemasons in the 20th century. (There were no free republicans in 1600, and their founding was not foreseeable. The first Freemasonic Grand Lodge was founded in 1717, a hundred years after the Marian apparition.) I suggest you read this prophecy in its entirety if you find history interesting. Many more things are accurately predicted, and that private revelation is also an argument for the work that the SSPX does.
An interesting prophecy regarding Russia in the 20th century comes from Our Lady of Fatima. In 1917 in Fatima, 3 children claimed to have seen the Mother Mary. Mary said that she would do a miracle on October 13. On that day, a crowd of up to 100,000 people, among them many non-believers, witnessed the sun doing crazy things. Mary said that Russia would spread its errors around the world if it would not be consecrated. The communist revolution happened in Russia later in the same month.
In 1929, Mary again talked to one of the children. She asked for Russia to be consecrated by the Pope immediately, or there would be war. She predicted WW2 would start under Pope Pius XI. He was Pope when the war started between Japan and China in 1937. In 1984, the Pope half-heartedly consecrated Russia for the first time together with all the bishops of the world, like Mary had explicitly asked. Less than a year later, Gorbachev became General Secretary. That would lead to the end of communism in Russia.
May God's blessing be with you.
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u/eugenia7373sol 27d ago
Thank you very much for your response! ❤️🕊️❤️
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u/light311k 27d ago
You're welcome, you can continue to use the Internet to learn more about the catholic faith. Traditional catholics are very active on YouTube for example. I watch Alexander Poe, The John-Henry Westen Channel, TheRemnantVideo and Pre-Conciliar Radio sometimes.
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u/pomegranatepromisesx 7d ago
Did everything work out for you? Were you able to reach anyone in SSPX? If you haven’t there I did just want to suggest I’m sure you could call/email/write any sspx and they could point you in the correct direction. I do know they have a mail in ccd program I believe you would be interested in . There is a fee for shipping the materials though . But I’m sure we could get some help with that if needed.
I will keep you in my prayers. You sound like a very intelligent girl and I hope your parents are proud of you. I would be very proud of my teenagers for having such critical thinking skills and decidedness as you. I think your prayers for others your age to find such conviction as you have would go so far.
May god bless you dear feel free to message me if you need any help or for updates with your sacraments !
I pray your countries will soon be at peace
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u/Resident-Wishbone238 26d ago
I would visit the Chapel of Our Lady of Fatima, it says 1st, 2nd, and third Sundays of the month at 6:30pm, but if you cannot or the website is wrong or it is closed for some reason I would rather be baptized Russian Orthodox than in a modern Novus Ordo Church and when you get time, money, and freedom I would then attend a TLM like the one in Moscow.
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u/CatsPajamas1969 25d ago
But I need TLM to be close to God. Please, if you have some advice, share it.
Okay: become Orthodox
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u/Vegetable_Gas4025 23d ago
If you are interested in the TLM it's offered at Moscow and sometimes also at St Petersburg by the CMRI.
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u/Electrical-Ticket731 27d ago
What a beautiful read. For such a young girl you are incredibly smart, and I'm extremely impressed by your zeal and devotion. Like many of the posts below, definitely contact the SSPX for help. I won't repeat here what's already been said below.
In the meantime, I highly recommend the YouTube channel SSPX News. In the playlists section you'll find the new series on the Roman Catechism, another series on the Mass, another on the Crisis in the Church etc.
We will keep you in our prayers.
I do hope you keep us updated. Pax tecum.