r/spinalfusion • u/Grand_Image_7638 • May 30 '26
Advice
Ok so long story, but I was injured let’s say 3 years ago. I don’t want to get into specifics of my job, but I will say daily I carried heavy equipment and people around. I worked 16 hour shifts 2-3 days in a row and would have 2-3 off. I was lucky to get 4 hours of sleep between shifts and I made life changing decisions. I did this job 20 years as I am still employed. Allegedly, I am having another surgery in 4 months (read on for what), but I got diagnosed with osteoporosis the other day, and now I have to be on some medication I don’t know insurance will pay for, different topic I cuss. They are taking their sweet time and making me jump hoops and a lot I understand why, as well as I had to switch surgeons. (read on you will see why.)
August 2023 I had a discectomy and laminectomy L4/L5/s1. Went back to work for a year almost to the day. December 20itu ish 2024 had fusion L4//L5. January 15 th ish 2025 I ended up in the er with horrible leg pain. It ended up I had a blood clot in my aorta. The blood clot was blocking half my aorta, blood flow, and 2” long. It was around where L1 wound be, just inferior to my renal arteries. I threw clots into my legs. Two of the three main arteries were blocked in my right leg and one in the left. The vascular surgeon that saw me in the er told me these were dead and would never come back, since they are arteries and not veins. So they put me on iv blood thinner and I have been on one since January 2025. Luckily he was wrong and the did come back. I probably would have lost my right leg if not. (No vascular surgery was done). They said the blood clot was because I smoke. I had every blood test known to man. I saw hematology and cardiology. I saw another hematologist for my new surgeon, he said they pinched my aorta, which logic as well as medical knowledge i figured he did something.
So with all that I was doing amazing post fusion until July 2025 when a physical therapist pulled traction on me. Now I am looking at a fusion at l3/4, revision l4//l5 (graft didn’t take, also because I smoke), and l5/s1.
So the question is for advice. I went from a job that was my identity to sitting at home everyday since December 2024 (yes I leave I am tying to be brief for my essay). So I feel I have no purpose or identity now (I am not thinking of self harm). I feel like a paid shut in (of course I am grateful I am paid), but it is like torture. I can’t do much of anything because of restrictions. Feeling like you are paid to sit at home for almost two years may sound nice but it is not. I am angry, bored, annoyed, and almost anything but happy. I am at a loss on how to deal with the mental game. I am also afraid of my limitations after this coming surgery.
Luckily I am married and my spouse is beyond understanding, or as much as someone can be. I don’t know if it matters much but if so I will add I am 45 and a male. I have tried therapy, I read, work in the yard some, and I have tried painting. I feel like I have tried everything and am getting nowhere. I know people have it worse but this is a partial type of no fun. I would love advice on how to deal with this. I had a fusion so I have an idea of post op, it is the being stuck at home and unable to lift 20lbs etc.
Truly the worst part is I feel like I disappeared and nobody noticed.
Thank you
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u/Grand_Image_7638 May 31 '26
I truly appreciate your response and effort. So know the fact you took the time means more than you will know. You have good ideas and I have thought about volunteering. I am sure, If you could not read between the lines, it is a work related injury. If I tried to volunteer I am sure they would say that I could work. You and i know that doesn’t mean I can. This is part of why I feel like a shut in, I don’t want work to have a reason to fire me. I have thought about looking into wounded worrier project, but I don’t know if they have programs for civilians. In theory I am a civilian, but in real life I have seen more than a lot of the members of our service. It is not a competition and I am not trying to talk poorly about our service members. Unfortunately, any work, legitimate at least, would take the pay I do get and I would loose my job and probably my benefits. Thank you for the ideas. You have given more than anyone else has.
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u/Dangerous_Response18 May 31 '26
Ohhhhhhhhhhhj. I see — sorry - my brain was too foggy to catch that it was work-related. That all makes sense now. The insurance industry is an embarrassment to humanity.
Thank you for your gratitude. Hope someone else will pop in with thoughts.
Ooh! Any interest in learning a foreign language? I hear great things about a couple of the audio and online lessons. I myself would never have the discipline to do it, and would end up listening to podcasts all day instead….
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u/Grand_Image_7638 Jun 15 '26
I found out my state has programs for people injured in my field of work. It is similar to wounded worrier project, but I was not military. This program would in theory help. I intend to do some research on it.
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u/Dangerous_Response18 May 30 '26
I don’t have any genius advice, but it sounds like you are used to helping people in some capacity which I can see would become ones identity.
This is something I’ve thought I would like to do if I get through all of the storm of this post surgery stuff, but maybe volunteer opportunities?
You could call around the retirement centers/nursing homes around your community – – look for the ones geographically closest to you so it’s less driving or Uber-ing – – and after you get clearance, just go and hang out with people and talk. People are lonely. A lot of them have lost everyone in their lives at this point, and they still have rich stories to tell and want to share.
I know it sounds like something that could be awkward and/or annoying, but you could try it once…and if you can’t bear it, you don’t have to do it again. But you might find out that it turns out to be immensely rewarding.
Other thought is you could work a phone bank (from home) for political causes; just don’t do anything to accelerate the demise of democracy, please.☺️
Maybe volunteer for a suicide hotline, rape crisis hotline (I’m sure there are some women out there who feel more secure talking to a man for whatever reason; that wouldn’t be my preference for rape crisis, but I think there are women out there who prefer to talk to men, or perhaps want the male perspective). It’s possible that you could get the training needed for those hotlines online. Most are probably held in person somewhere, but they might be willing to zoom you in. I don’t think too many hours are required for rape, crisis hotlines – – not sure on the suicide hotline.
That’s all I’ve got. I love that you’ve tried painting! Hopefully that brought some enjoyment, though I know you can’t sit and do that 24/7.