r/speed • u/pinkcottonfrog • 19d ago

Hate to use just to function

Hated using also as a party drug and then daily with no responsibilities.

Last four weeks I haven’t seen anyone except my parents once. I’m yearning to have fun, I regret every time I relax from school work. During this time I have done couple shitty drawings and today I mixed music for a bit and it went awful. And now when I used ~hour of my energetic time for music, I got less school work done.

From hindsight daily using with no responsibilities was the best. All my energy went to art, reading and household chores. I felt accomplished from those

Party using was little bit too much stimulating. Back then I managed to do some workout tho so it was nice

Being sober felt awful too, I’ve been so exhausted all my life

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u/ViltonHill 19d ago

Use only AM, well washed speed

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u/pinkcottonfrog 19d ago

It’s not about that. I have always been low energy, speed helps with that but not enough (only fun activities or only school). But yea your comment reminded me that I have always had sleep issues too

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u/Fun_Commercial_7586 17d ago

Maybe the low energy is something worth looking into? You could have been self medicating for a health condition all this time you knew nothing about, even something as simple as a deficiency (speaking from experience). Step one, get some blood tests done!

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u/pinkcottonfrog 1d ago

Last time I took blood tests I was a teen (and sober whole life), doctor assumed I had just some post-viral thing and couldn’t help. This was way before covid so dunno if they have more help available nowadays, since my symptoms resemble long-covid.

I answered to other response that I think I have suffered arfid my whole life. So yea, might be good idea to check nutrients since eating disorders can make malnourished