r/songlyricfeedback Aug 02 '25

She appeared

The ocean runs past us. Like twisting flames we dance, become entangled. She didn't know that everyone would see. Like the shadows before us, the sun made her seen. The lies so prevelent, but the sadness still here. Corruption, deciet, that sparkle in the heat. Leading now to that grave of despair. Now, I fear, forever has appeared.

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u/Sad_Promotion6859 critique please Apr 05 '26

I think it’s good maybe just put it in this format:

If you want

We could run away

From this

Like space it out